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After rightfully pouring out his heart, Karkat felt the weight lifted from his chest. The anxiety left his body as he unclenched his fingers from their white-knuckle grip, and huffed a sigh of relief.
It was done.
The one thing he dreaded, the one thing he dreamed of. He had finally confessed his true, red feelings for one of his only friends. The tension in his brows had not fully softened as he opened his eyes, still seeing his own feet. This may have been the last half-second of peace he knew before suddenly locking eyes with the worst person he’s ever known.
Dave?!
Are you fucking kidding me?
“Wow wow wow! I've never had the honor of being first row to an IRL shonen-style confession.”
John was gleaming with joy as he looked to Karkat, who happened to be a littleee more to the left than Karkat had anticipated. The sky seemed much brighter, and the park suddenly seemed much more crowded.
Karkat started, “Fuck. Hold on. I meant-”
Dave stood with his eyes wide open, mostly covered by his shades. His hair couldn't hide his slightly elevated brows, but he seemed to have a soft smile peeking at the corners of his lips.
“Well, I'm glad you said it first. I'm not a fan of the sappy shit, but I admire your dedication to pull through and speak your truth, I guess.”
What? Karkat was physically restraining his jaw from hitting the floor. Not only had he convinced this white-haired weirdo that he was “overwhelmed with emotion at the thought of a lingering distance between them,” but he had COMPLETELY wrecked his chances with the person he was actually aiming for.
“Karkat, you are the most annoying fucker I've had the misfortune of meeting, but you're solid, and I actually think we could have something good going.”
Karkat could feel his face getting hot as he pushed the shock and embarrassment out of his face. He choked out an awkward “UH-HUH,” and smiled with pursed lips. He gave a slight nod and shut his eyes for a moment. Thousands of thoughts swirled through his brain, starting a headache that would last into the night.
“Awe you guys,” John was giddy and seemed to really enjoy the show going on in front of him. “Does that mean I’m going to be third wheeling all of our hangouts? I mean as long as you guys don't mind haha. Just don't get all kissy and smooch and stuff.”
Should he have said John’s name at the beginning of his spiel? Probably. Should he have made sure he was actually standing in front of the right person? Definitely. Unfortunately, Karkat had spent the first part of the day rewatching Shallow Hal, and was inspired by the story of racing across the city to stop the person he loves from leaving without knowing how he felt.
It wouldn't have been a forever thing. John was leaving to a university across the state to take a summer course. Biology, of course. He couldn't miss a chance at dissecting a frog.
Karkat noticed how delicately Dave was holding the rose that he had picked out for John. Ugh.
Dave smiled. “It's a cool flower.”
“I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, I’LL SEE YOU LATER.”
UGH!
This didn't really seem to be the kind of thing Karkat would want to double down on, especially with Dave, but in the heat of the moment, the only thing he could focus on was rushing home through the heat to smash his face into a pillow.
-
Karkat came crashing into his apartment, wailing out as if he were drunk. “URGHHH. John was right there! How could I have possibly made such a comical, juvenile mistake?! URAGGHHHH.”
He spun through his hallway, tumbling into the kitchen. He half-hazardly filled a glass with tap water and guzzled two pain pills down.
“And OF COURSE I was incapable of just spelling out what I meant because that would make me a heartless monster since Dave actually LIKED IT SOMEHOW! He's not even going anywhere? It wasn't even contextually accurate. What is wrong with him? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Here's me, five feet of PROUD FUCKING MAN, so soft hearted! I LOVE LOVE! I just LOVE EVERYONE I GUESS”
He threw himself into his bed, burying himself into a cocoon of blankets, where took a slightly too-sweaty nap. A few hours later, Karkat’s headache was front and center. The curtains were still closed from his lunchtime movie, and he wasn’t sure where his phone had ended up. He woke up to his phone vibrating somewhere in his pile of blankets and wrestled around trying to find it.
Out of frustration, he stood up and shook out his sheets. His cellphone flies out of one of the blankets, hitting the baseboard on the wall behind him. He scatters over to see the damage, and sure enough, the screen was cracked in one of the corners. At least it could have been worse.
In this moment, his phone lights up. 47 missed messages, one new text from Dave.
D: so im guessing you're asleep or shut your phone off but thanks again
What could all of those messages been?
Work chat, his crabby dad saying hi, and another group chat, titled Triple Threat.
Karkat skimmed through the messages. He was relieved to not have missed anything urgent, just some kind of poetry slam between John and Dave. Mostly about rainy days, ash trays and Matthew Mcconaughey…
Karkat joins the conversation.
-
K: If McConaughey slays and devastation reins
D: is that hamilton
K: No
J: Wow boyfriend number two is here.
J: If you two come in a pack, can I refer to you as a name smash title combo?
D: ?
J: Like KarDave or Davekat
D: as long it's better than KatPee/Peeniss
J: OK, the Hunger Games did not set a great example.
-
Maybe his friends wouldn’t make it too weird. I mean. Dave is a good human, at the end of the day. He could be a raging douche on his bad days, but a very entertaining one. Dave was the one who introduced Karkat to the idea of therapeutic karaoke.
This was about 6 months ago, the Friday after a long week of winter finals at their university. Dave invited John and Karkat to join him at their local bar. John had to travel home for the holidays, so it was only Dave and Karkat who made it out.
The night was busy and blissful. A few drinks, some chicken wings, and an open mic was all they needed to get those nerves out. The details are fuzzy, but they started the night with Baby by Justin Bieber and ended it with Shania Twain’s You're Still the One. Which is totally normal.
Karkat also woke up at Dave’s house the next morning, which is totally normal. The most normal part was actually when they realized they had swapped shirts at some point.
Sooooo normal..
They didn't tell John too much about that night.
-
Karkat splashed his face with some water and headed to his kitchen for a snack. His phone vibrated again. Dave.
D: ?
K: My bad. Falling in and out of sleep.
D: dw about it
D: so about earlier
K: That's my bad for spitting all of that out at you. If you're creeped out, I totally get it. In fact, we don’t have to talk about it anymore if you don't want to.
D: no no
D: Jade has been on my ass about saying the same thing to you
D: about wanting to see you more
K: One on one?
D: Well yeah.
-
After a minute of reminiscing, Karkat found himself happy to see that Jade and John had been rooting for the two of them to get together. It was a little weird considering that Karkat swore he would bring memories of that night to the grave, but heartwarming nonetheless.
-
K: Maybe we should round up John, Jade, and Rose for breakfast tomorrow and make out official.
D: woahhh
K: make *it
D: sure
D: and sure. i'll let everyone know to meet us at 10.
-
The next morning, Karkat set out to his group’s favorite diner. He was greeted by his friends, who had left him an empty chair next to Dave. Karkat hadn't fully sat before Jade bursted out, “So do we finally get to hear everything that happened on that karaoke night?”
“Or where you two snuck off to during the New Year’s party?” Rose added.
“Or what exactly happened when Dave’s location ‘got weird’ on Valentine’s day?” John used air quotes, of course.
“Yeah come on guys, that was behind a grocery store at 11 PM.” Rose laughed.
Karkat’s face grew redder and redder as he realized that he truly had no good explanation. How could he have been so focused on John?
Dave could only shrug. “Guess I'm that good. Gotta lock it down.”
The group erupted into laughter and Karkat could only hide his face in shame. Yeah, things could have gone way worse. But at least he had someone he knew liked him back.
And there would be many more karaoke nights in their future.