Chapter Text
It started with a prank gone wrong. A hiccup, really. Nothing more than that. Mathematically speaking, it was impossible for Jax to have a 100% hit rate on these things. It was far from the first time he'd made her cry, and he was positive it would be far from the last. A profuse apology, a promise to make it up to her, and a hug quickly put an end to the tears. That was that.
But in the coming days, there were more incidents.
Small things. Always small. So small, in fact, that the only person who noticed was Jax. Hell, not even the object of his concern seemed to be in the know. She was sluggish, her usually titillating pranks and schemes had long since fallen to a degree that even Ragatha would deem as sub-par. Any time he'd try to check in with them, however, he'd be stonewalled; "I'm okay, Bunny," she'd say, before harshly redirecting the topic of conversation.
"They're probably just having a couple off days," he'd reason to himself. Even the best have their moments, this is doubtlessly one of them. Within a week, Ribbit would be back to herself and everything could carry on like nothing had happened.
But then it kept happening. A sentence would go unfinished, she'd complain about a dark room being too overstimulating. Jax once saw her clipped halfway through the cabin of a Ferris wheel (when prompted, she simply stated she was looking for an exit).
The absolute worst of it all -- at least, according to Jax -- is how cagey she'd gotten. Between Kaufmo, Ribbit, and himself, not a single secret was kept. Yet it felt like in these last months, she'd been keeping more and more to herself. He'd go to Kauffy for help, but the last time he broached anything somewhat serious with that guy it resulted in a blank look. Loveable idiot. Poor guy probably got stuck here while stoned and the Circus just thought that's how he was. All that to say, Jax felt completely lost.
It's been several months since that initial crappy prank, and he'd finally decided to properly talk to her about it... Kinda. A letter slid under her bedroom door in the middle of the night really doesn't count as "properly talking," but it's a start.
... So, what do people actually write in these things? He doesn't even remember the last time he wrote a letter, let alone one he actually cared about. He taps the pencil idly on his desk for a few minutes as he thinks exactly what he should write when he hears... Footsteps? Jeez, it's... Basically 4am on the dot, who the hell would be walking around at this time?
He sets his pencil down (though it remained unused for the minutes he held it) and gets up to go investigate. Gently opening the door, he finds... Nothing. Nobody to be seen, not even that cowboy hat gimmick NPC. Whomever it was must've been moving pretty quick, considering his proximity to the end of the hallway. Whatever, it's probably just Gangle going to cry alone in a corner or something.
But... He's already out here. He may as well go sit out in the main tent. It's a whole lot comfier, and maybe he'll actually be able to form a coherent thought of how to start a letter, there! Off he goes, closing the door to his bedroom and checking the lock thrice -- an uncertainly locked door may as well just be unlocked -- before making his way to the tent proper.
It's... Ribbit? Ribbit is the one walking around at all hours of the night? God, the last time they'd discussed sleep with him, it was chastising him for missing a night. The jigsaw pieces are beginning to fall into their places. Ribbit's acting aloof because she's unrested, is all! A quick chat and it'll be cleared right up.
"Hey, Ribbs. Didn't know you were such a night owl," he greets from the entryway. Casual, unrehearsed. Classically "Jax," exactly what he wants it to be.
Strangely, though, Ribbit doesn't reply. Normally they'd at least acknowledge his presence with a muted "mm," but tonight they're silent. Yet stranger, she's seemingly actively avoiding him, as she begins to move again at the sound of his voice.
"Jeez, way to kick a guy while he's down... Wait up, frog face!"
Not understanding her silent plea to be left alone, Jax briskly walks after her. A few moments pass, and he ends up by her side not long after they both exit the tent.
"Jeez, Froggy, I didn't realise just how much y'wanted me to chase after you,"
"... Why'd ya have to pick tonight, Jax?"
... Oh. This was serious. There were maybe five total times in which Ribbit had called him by his name, after they became friends. Once at a funeral when he made a really poorly timed joke, once when he went a little too far with picking on Gangle, and a couple of others he doesn't care to take note of.
They continue walking, as Jax gathers his thoughts. He can't approach this as Jax, the funny purple rabbit. He's gotta be Jax, the friend of the girl seemingly aimlessly walking in no direction in particular.
"... Kauffy's worried about you, y'know," he begins, earning nought but an eyebrow raise from the girl. "I mean, he doesn't say anything. You know the guy, always so... High." He pauses, expecting a laugh or... Something. There is nothing. Simply stone cold nothingness, as Ribbit continues to lead him to their unknown destination.
"It's kinda hard to miss, though. He's an expressive guy if you get to know him... Anyway, he asked me to like, come check in on you. I was gonna leave you a latter, but—"
"Cut the bullshit, Jax."
Jax stops dead in his tracks, hearing her small outburst. Not because it happened; several outbursts similar to it have happened in the time they've spent together, and he's sure more will happen later. But... She swore. Honest to god cursed like the censor wasn't even there.
"F[BONK]k. S[VWOOP]t. Godd[BWOMP]n motherf[BZZZ]king how?!" Experimentation proving fruitless, he speedwalks for a few moments in order to catch up with Ribbit. Once again by her side, he makes a grab for his friend's hand.
"God, take a fucking hint, Jax! I don't want you here!" The sensation of touch seemingly too much bear --or perhaps simply just expressing her frustration --she pulls her hand away. Hard. Jax stumbles, struggling to maintain his footing. He doesn't react, though. Not to Ribbit's outburst, anyway. No, the Rabbit's focus remains solely on his own gloved hand.
It hurts. Why the fuck does his hand hurt? All he did was try to stop his friend from walking seemingly into the void, and it felt like an electric shock. A real electric shock. Pain in the Circus has never felt full; like you're feeling the aftermath of what having been in pain was like, instead of what the initial pain itself is like. This felt real. Real enough to that he doesn't notice his friend crumpling to the floor.
A few moments pass, and quiet sobs are what snap Jax out of his haze. Shit, did he do that, somehow? Maybe he grabbed her too tightly, or something? Swatting the spiralling thoughts out of his head, he crouches down beside her and hesitantly reaches out to her. A moment passes of her either not noticing or not caring to acknowledge his approach before he opens his mouth again.
"H-- S[EEOOW]t, Froggy, it's okay. I'm-- Look, you didn't hurt me, I was just surprised," he speaks, uncomfortable. He's not really used to this whole "comforting people" business, but he's doing his best. His words earn little more than a slightly increased flow of tears, so he closes the gap between them. And it burns. Not psychologically, like every other time he's hugged someone, but it literally burns, like a shower turned up too high.
"J-,. Jax, just... Please. Go. I'll... I'll tell you about this tomorrow, okay? I'm just... I just need ta be alone, okay?" Her voice, barely above a whisper, manages to make its way to the Rabbit, who simply shakes his head in response. He's never seen her quite this bad, and if she's anything like Jax -- which he absolutely knows to be true -- then despite her outward protests, they absolutely need someone around, right now... Though, maybe not someone hugging her for the next however long; he releases her.
Sniffling, her body loosens slightly, seemingly accepting defeat. "Ya really don't know when ta quit, huh?"
"Froggy, you c--"
"Can ya... Call me my name, maybe?"
He pauses. Their name? He pretty much never calls anyone by just their name. Even Gangle, and he named Gangle. It's not like Ribbit has had any issue with this before, but it's the least he can do, he supposes.
"Yeah, uh. Sure. Sorry, Ribbit."
"It's okay. Just... Makes me feel like a person, ya know?"
He hesitates. He truly has no clue what they mean. How could anyone feel any amount of human here? Where something as simple as contact between friends causes pain? He opens his mouth to respond, but doesn't even manage a single syllable before Ribbit stops him.
"Heh, don't bother. I know I'm talkin' crazy. Point's that I..." She takes a pause to gather herself. Inhaling, then exhaling. Jax squeezes her softly in response, squeezing his eyes at the burning; small pinpricks of tears forming through the seams.
"Have... Have ya ever... Not done somethin', and had ta live with a 'what if?'"