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He probably could've spent another day or so in the hospital. But when the choice was between a bed lots of people probably died in, or the super comfy one at the hotel that lots of people probably fucked in, Felix chose love.
Besides, he wanted to give Rajalagang a little time to percolate and they didn't need him around for that.
Lighting a cigarette in front of the hospital, Felix texted both Capheus and Bug to let them fight over who got the pleasure of giving him a ride back to their hotel. One of the first things he did upon his introduction to the group was exchange phone numbers, especially with all of Wolfie's fellow mutants. He wasn't about to lose track of his recently-kidnapped friend again.
Not that Wolfie was going anywhere at the moment. Permanently affixed to Kala's bedside, he wasn't even taking his own cigarette breaks. He instead chose to suffer the nicotine withdrawal while Kala—and the doctor—tried convincing Felix to follow Wolfgang's lead. At least until his bullet wound healed. But they were forgetting two crucial factors: smoking was fun, and it looked cool.
Felix was on his last puff when the transportation battle was decided, with the resounding victory going to him having to take a fucking cab.
Bug texted back: No can do Mein Freund the bugmobile is non-operational
Capheus didn't respond at all, but his phone was shit and for some reason he hadn't let Rajan buy him a new one so that wasn't too surprising. Then Felix got the best news of the day with a text from Dani: I'll give you a ride ;) 10 minutes
Felix could usually last longer than ten minutes but he'd take it.
In nine minutes and fifty-eight seconds Dani was speeding up to the loading zone in Capheus' rented convertible, looking even more like a movie star than Lito with her oversized sunglasses and a scarf to keep the wind from wrecking her hair. She handed him a scarf and sunglasses to match as he tossed his crutches in the back and hopped into the passenger seat.
He tied the scarf around his head and put on the shades. When in Naples. "Where are your boys?"
"On a date!" she exclaimed. "They can't really do it at home without a chaperone and anyway, Sun was helping me put together a business plan for my agency."
"Agency? You have an agency?" Thanks to his taciturn bestie, Felix was technically still catching up on everything that happened while he was in a coma, much less all the life and work histories of Wolfgang's imaginary friends.
"Unofficially. Well, Sun is making it more official. A talent agency. It's basically just bullshitting my way behind closed doors and talking about how awesome Lito is, but she says I should get a cut of everything he makes."
"Cool." Felix had been bullshitting his way into situations and talking about how awesome Wolfgang was his entire life. He didn't realize that was an actual job, but he definitely intended to profit off of whatever sugar baby situation Wolfgang banged his way into with Rajan. And a fellow bullshitter was always welcome. "You gotta be my backup with this India Plan situation in case I get shot again."
"Oh my god don't say that!" she scolded, and nearly veered off the road. "How many times can you possibly get shot?"
Felix was unfazed by her driving skills. "And counting…"
"My uncle got shot. But he…died."
Uncles getting shot probably wasn't something that happened a lot in the talent agency field. "I don't suppose storming Forcellas while dressed as tourists runs in the family?"
"They're into import/export."
"Oh." He knew exactly what that meant. "Wolfie's family was into real estate."
"Oh." She knew exactly what that meant too. "Lito mentioned an exploding cousin?"
"Yeah. It went a bit beyond the cousin." And apparently the demure Mrs. Rasal was his sidekick during that explosion. "I miss all the cool stuff."
"Me too." She nearly didn't miss a pedestrian in a crosswalk who might've also been in the import/export/real estate business by the threatening way he reached into his leather jacket pocket. But Dani was a beautiful woman in an open-top car and yelling an apology while being hot did plenty to ease the tension. "Oops. Anyway, I don't know that you'll need backup. My gaydar may not be perfect, but the way Rajan has been looking at Wolfgang is not the way straight men look at their wife's boyfriends."
"Yeah Wolfie is totally into it too but if there's a way to fuck things up, he will find it. His self-destructiveness is better than your gaydar, I guarantee you that."
"Fair. Okay, if you get shot again, I will take up your quest."
"Much appreciated, milady."
She pulled into the parking area at the hotel and went over a bump fast enough to shower the awaiting Capheus and Bug with sparks. Good thing it was a rental.
The two failed chauffeurs were hanging out by the non-operational Bugmobile with a bunch of tools, Wolfie's also non-operational car parked beside it. Capheus chivalrously opened the door for Dani, but his ulterior motives became clear soon enough as he held out his hand for the keys. "I am going to have to teach you how to drive, Dani."
"What?" She shrugged and handed them over. "It's fine."
Bug grabbed the crutches from the back and opened Felix's door, and he hobbled over from sitting in one car to sitting on the busted-up hood of another. Wolfie's BMW had seen nearly as much gunfire as Felix. It may have been wholesome as fuck that Capheus and Bug were out here prying the bullets out for him, but considering the current state of it, Felix questioned whether it would survive advanced surgery. "Can you guys actually fix it?"
"This is not a problem," Capheus said. "I have fixed far worse."
"Didn't you blow up your last bus?" Dani asked, perching beside Felix on the hood. "I mean not the tour bus, that obviously blew up. But the other last bus?"
Glancing at Bug, who glanced nervously at the Bugmobile, Capheus proudly held up his phone. "Yes, but Jela is calling me back soon and we will work on them together."
"There's someone else I haven't met yet?" Felix scoffed. "You guys keep multiplying."
"Jela is my best friend. You will get along. You are very similar."
"Give me his number."
As trusting as a newborn lamb, Capheus handed Felix his unlocked phone. There were only a handful of saved contacts. Felix went ahead and transferred all of them to his own phone. Elena, Jela, Koman Nyagah, Mama, Silas Kabaka, Zakia. First names meant familiar, and he'd definitely keep Mama. "Who's Koman Nyagah?"
"He is the head of Kenyan Democratic Reform—"
"Ew, politics." Felix deleted it. "Silas Kabaka?"
"He is…complicated."
"Like India Plan complicated?"
"Ah. No, not that type of complicated. He is a powerful businessman that I worked for."
Felix and Dani exchanged a knowing look. Felix saved his number. Just in case.
"You sure I can't interest you in a new phone, man?" Bug asked, taking Capheus' ancient one from Felix. "I've got burners that I'm just gonna leave behind once everyone goes home. They may be basic but they're not this."
"I will consider it. Thank you Bug."
Bug, the master of all things technological, cocked his head at the phone still in his hand as it made a perplexing sound. "Your friend is calling. I think? I'm getting you a new phone." He gave it to Capheus and headed back to the hotel for what he clearly deemed an emergency.
The signal was lost before Capheus could answer. Felix took the liberty of video calling his new buddy Jela back.
"Who are you? Where is Capheus?"
"How come you weren't in the rescue party?" Felix asked.
"Ah. The other German," Jela stated confidently.
"He knows about me?" Obviously Wolfgang didn't talk much, but this was getting ridiculous. Felix was the last to know everything.
"Capheus wouldn't let me come."
"You listen to this guy?" It wasn't like Capheus was even remotely intimidating. Not that being intimidating had ever convinced Felix to listen to Wolfgang. Which might be why he didn't talk very much. Damnit. He handed the phone to Capheus. "Here."
"Hello, my friend," Capheus said with a laugh. "Are we ready to fix these cars?"
"You'll have to remove those hood ornaments first," Jela said.
"The fuck did he just call me?" Felix asked.
"Sorry!" Dani got the hint and helped Felix up so they could go rest their asses on the convertible's hood instead.
Capheus lifted the hood of Wolfie's car and propped up the phone where they could all see it. Then he got to work doing everything Jela told him to do, immediately before Jela told him to do it. They effortlessly switched between English and Swahili—likely when they were gossiping about Felix and Dani—then Jela would laugh and go back to telling Capheus what he was doing wrong.
"I could see the similarities between you two," Dani said.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Felix muttered, using Dani's phone to text Wolfgang: you better fuck Rajan into buying you a new car because Capheus is destroying what's left of yours. This is Felix btw
Bug returned with a phone Capheus didn't need at the moment and a fire extinguisher that Wolfie's car probably did. Then he settled on the hood of the convertible with Felix and Dani to watch the show. They were just starting to get to the good part—which Bug held up the fire extinguisher in anticipation of—when an authoritative voice from behind them said something in Italian, and added in English, "You cannot do that here."
The four of them—plus Jela via video call—turned towards two hotel security guards standing with their arms crossed.
"Parli italiano? You speak English? Hmm?"
Bug said something in Italian but they ignored him, honing in on Capheus with his bag of tools and pocket-sized Jela.
"We are staying at the hotel," Capheus said innocently like this was all a misunderstanding just waiting to be cleared up. While he may have been the type to assume the best about people, Felix knew exactly why they were questioning Capheus and weren't questioning the hood ornaments. Felix and Dani still had their faces half-covered by scarves and sunglasses, and Bug was Bug, and all three of them were a hell of a lot more suspicious than the epitome of sunshine who happened to have dark skin.
"This isn't a garage," the more mustached of the two added, looking at Capheus with thinly disguised revulsion. "What is your name?"
Could Felix take down two guys while on early release from the hospital and still needing crutches? Probably not. Was he about to give it his best shot? Abso-fucking-lutely.
"Rajan Rasal." Dani stood up before Felix could manage. "That's the name the reservation is under. You're probably familiar with it, since he rented out an entire floor of your so-called four-star hotel. You can call him, but I wouldn't recommend disturbing him while his wife is recovering in the hospital from a gunshot wound because your tourist city is overrun by the mafia. So maybe instead of harassing your overpaying guests you can thank your lucky stars you still have jobs."
The security guards took turns muttering scusi and clearing their throats as they slunk back to the hotel with their tails between their legs.
"That was awesome!" Felix and Jela exclaimed simultaneously.
"Angel!" Bug hugged her.
Capheus seemed a bit embarrassed about the entire situation, but managed, "That was very cool. Thank you Dani."
She humbly bowed, then jumped up and down with excitement. "Oh my god I am getting so good at telling off assholes! Sun is right, I totally deserve twelve percent."
"Twelve? My other agent only got ten," Capheus balked, then adjusted his cadence and added, "she's better than your other agent."
"Hi Lito!" Dani said. "Hi Sun!"
Felix exchanged a look with Bug. This sensate stuff was taking some getting used to. "If you're gonna be all psychic, can you tell Wolfie to text me back at some point before his car is on fire?"
"Wolfgang says you still have his phone."
"Oh fuck." Felix did still have his phone. Along with the rest of Wolfie's stuff from Berlin. "It's in the room."
"Where you should be," Capheus said with a decidedly Wolfgang tone. Maybe this sensate stuff wasn't so hard after all. "Resting."
"I'm going, I'm going." Felix grabbed his crutches.
"You listen to this guy?" Jela mocked.
Felix feigned offense and demanded his phone back, he and Jela both keeping straight faces just long enough for Capheus and Bug and Dani to believe they were actually fighting before they busted up laughing. Capheus was right. They were getting along. "For real though I do need my phone back if I'm gonna be stuck in my room resting."
"It is time for your next route," Capheus said to Jela. "I will call you later."
"Do not attempt this without me, Capheus. German engineering is too much for you to handle on your own."
"I won't. Bye Jela."
"You know, it's true what they say about German engineering…" Felix winked at Dani.
"Yes." Capheus took advantage of Felix's hands being occupied by his crutches to steal his cigarettes. He set them by Bug's fire extinguisher. "If you are smoking while you're in recovery, you'd better be on fire."
"Ha!" Felix barked. "That's Kala!" This sensate shit was easy.