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There were more good days than bad days, anymore. Most of that Nao would attribute to Souta; not that Souta somehow fixed Nao, but his constant support and unerring love really did heal something in Nao. The broken shards left behind by his mother—his father and his sister, even—were reformed into something resembling a heart again.
Still, there were scars. And some days the pain from those scars felt like too much to bear.
Today was one of those days. Nao couldn’t drag his eyes open when his alarm went off, knowing that he had school, but not caring quite enough. He slept too long and when he woke up, he was incredibly groggy. The sun was high in the sky, casting a warm glow through his curtains and into his room.
Nao didn’t feel like eating, but he dragged himself out of bed and forced himself to pad down to the kitchen, anyway. He boiled some water for tea and made himself drink it, even as his stomach turned at the thought. There was some leftover takeout in the fridge from when Nao had ordered curry last night, so he dished himself up a bowl and set it to heat up in the microwave.
While he waited, he checked his phone—dread settling in his stomach when he saw how many texts he had from Souta. There was even a message from Keisuke.
It’d been a while since Souta had any real reason to worry about Nao.
Hesitation gripped Nao as he hovered over his unread messages. Steeling his nerves, he tapped Souta’s name and scrolled to where the messages began.
Hey, is everything okay?
Running late?
Nao?
Sorry for bothering you, I just wanna make sure you’re okay.
Are you sick? Do you want me to come over?
Keisuke said I should wait for you to respond.
Please respond.
Guilt gripped Nao’s chest as he scanned the messages. Even worse was the one he got from Keisuke.
Are you alright? We’re worried.
Some days, Nao really hated himself. Swallowing down his anxieties, Nao composed a text to Souta.
I’m not sick. Just had a bad morning.
Souta messaged back immediately. Looking at the time, Nao knew Souta was supposed to be in class.
Do you want me to come over?
Nao hesitated. A part of him couldn’t stand the idea of Souta seeing him like this, wallowing in his self-loathing. The other part of Nao wanted to wrap himself around Souta and fall asleep together in his bed. Selfishly, Nao wanted Souta to skip class and come running, like he knew Souta would if he’d asked.
He couldn’t ask for that, though.
After school.
If you want.
Souta’s text came in at the same time that Nao’s food was finished. As Nao fished his curry from the microwave, he read what Souta had to say.
I’ll be there.
Nao could’ve cried, if he wasn’t already so drained.
He ate his curry, then spent the rest of the day listening to music while he waited restlessly for Souta to arrive. By the time school had let out, Nao was pacing. The bus ride to Nao’s house took about half an hour, but Souta would probably take the train. Nao tried to keep his eyes off the clock—and failed miserably.
He found himself waiting at the bottom of the staircase when the bell finally rang. Popping up immediately, Nao hurried over to the door, not bothering to seem less than desperate. He wrenched the door open and found Souta there, red faced and panting.
“Hi,” Souta gasped, then hunched over and put his hands on his knees. “Sorry I’m late. The train got delayed.”
“You’re not late,” Nao said. He opened the door wider for Souta to come in.
Once inside, the two settled up in Nao’s room, as was becoming a habit for them.
“Can I ask what happened?” Souta pried cautiously.
Nao shrugged. “I don’t really know.”
Souta, surprisingly, remained quiet, waiting Nao out.
“I just…” Nao began, running a hand through his hair. “I had a dream about my mom. It reminded me of something we used to do when I was younger and” —Nao’s voice broke and tears formed in his eyes— “I can’t stand that she left me and that I’ll never get to see her again. Souta, it hurts so bad.”
Souta wrapped Nao in his arms, who buried his face in Souta’s shirt. Nao squeezed Souta too tight, but Souta didn’t let go. He just waited, holding Nao back just as tight.
It took Nao a while to stop crying. When he did, he pulled away from Souta, feeling a bit bashful. Souta responded with a hand on Nao’s cheek. Nao leaned into the touch, closing his eyes to stave off more tears.
“It’s okay,” Souta said. “You’re doing a good job, Nao.”
It was exactly what Nao needed to hear, the words felt like a sharp jab to his chest. He had to forcibly hold back another round of tears, opening his glassy eyes to look at Souta.
“I love you.”
Souta froze.
Nao panicked.
“I mean—”
Souta pressed a hand to Nao’s mouth. “Don’t you dare take that back.”
Nao tried to speak under Souta’s palm, but neither of them really knew what he was trying to say.
“Nao, I’ve been in love with you for months now,” Souta said, swallowing down what seemed to be nerves. Nao couldn’t help the way his face warmed under Souta’s hand. “You are my person. I-I seriously love you, so much. So, please don’t take it back.”
Carefully, Nao removed Souta’s hand from his face.
“Souta,” he began, more sure this time. “I love you.”
Souta tried to stifle his smile, but Nao tenderly cupped his face and smoothed out the lines of his cheeks, coaxing the grin out of hiding.
“I’m sorry,” Souta said, still beaming.
“For what?”
“You’re in pain. And I’m smiling like an idiot.”
Nao’s expression softened, his fondness potent on his face. Wordlessly, he leaned in and planted a feather light kiss on Souta’s forehead. He whispered into Souta’s skin, “I’m glad you’re happy.”
Souta gripped Nao’s wrists, one in each hand, and whispered back, “I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better.”
“Souta.” Nao pulled back. “You already do.” When Souta looked at Nao in confusion, he continued, “You don’t know how much better you make me feel. Just being around you—I mean, I spent the whole day wanting you right here with me.”
The blush on Souta’s face was so precious, Nao couldn’t help leaning in to press a long kiss to Souta’s mouth. They pulled apart, both of their faces flushed red.
“You make me feel so much better,” Nao added, pulling Souta into a hug. “Thank you.”
As the sun set through Nao’s window, the two curled up in each other’s arms, content to just hold each other through the evening.