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His head hurts.
And it’s only made worse by the swaying movements of someone carrying him.
“Put me down…gonna be sick…” Lilia mumbles. He tries to push himself off the persons back, but they only tighten their hold on his thighs. Leaving him no choice but to slump forward again so he doesn’t fall back.
“You probably have a concussion.” Revan’s tone is as firm as his grip. He almost sounds as irritated as Lilia feels. “I’ll put you down when I find a place we can rest.”
Lilia tells him to put him down anyway. Or he thinks he does. His vision starts to become blurry and he has to rest his head against Revan’s shoulder again. Everything hurts, and he’s not sure how far they’ve gotten.
But if nothing else, at least it’s this person he’s with.
At least Revan was okay.
***
When Lilia’s able to open his eyes again, they’re no longer moving.
It takes awhile for his eyes to focus, not that it means much with how dim the light is. The scent of wet earth and sounds of rainfall don’t help with how his head aches, but it tells him they’re still outside. Lilia guesses they’re in a cave. Not much of a shelter, but a good enough one all the same.
“You didn’t have to take that hit for me.”
It takes a moment for Lilia to realize Revan spoke. Once his words register, he tries to sit up and move out of Revan’s hold but his friend doesn’t let him. Just as well, Lilia felt like the ground was spinning from that little movement. So he slumps back into his arms, giving up.
“Yeah, I did. Better me than you.” Lilia takes a deep breath. Even that much takes effort. He wonders if he got hit anywhere else. “Did my…my mask break?”
“It’s fine. Zigvolt grabbed it before we got separated. I think that kid has your cleaver so the Silver Owls wouldn’t get it.”
Separated…Lilia doesn’t remember that happening. He wonders if he blacked out at that point after…after…
“What hit me?”
“A chunk of rock. I don’t know what those Owls used to make the earth break apart like that.” Reven’s tone suddenly drops. “Why didn’t you just shatter it with a spell if you thought I didn’t see it?”
Did he think to use magic? Lilia doesn’t think so. He should have. Normally he would have.
“…who cares?” Lilia sighs, closing his eyes again. His head was throbbing. “You didn’t get hurt and I didn’t die.”
“I care. Maleanor cares. Your men care. Why are you always so…” Revan’s voice trails off with a frustrated huff.
“God, you’re annoying.” Lilia grumbles. “It’s my…my job to protect you. Protect the Duke. You…you have to get back to our Princess. I make sure you do. That’s the…the deal.”
That’s how it’s always been whenever him and Revan are on the same missions. Or even simply standing next to each other. So Lilia didn’t understand why he was getting on his case about it now.
“And I make sure you get back to her as well.” Reven retorts. “Maleanor wants both of us to come back to her, Lilia.”
“Not the same…”
Revan falls silent after that. Lilia’s grateful for it. As much as he likes his friends voice, trying to keep a conversation going is exhausting.
Like this, Lilia has no real sense of time. He could be in Revan’s arms for ten minutes, or an hour could have passed. He isn’t sure. He’s isn’t confidant that he remains fully conscious either with how difficult it was to open his eyes.
At some point, Lilia feels his hair pushed back. Fingers trail around where it’s most sensitive, and when he winces there’s a soft apology. Something damp is pressed to the area and held there. After awhile, that same dampness starts wiping across his face. He wonders if Revan was cleaning blood off him.
Eventually, Revan says quietly, “That’s all I can really do. I’m not good with healing magic and whatever medical supplies we have are with Zigvolt’s group. Once the rain eases up, we’ll move again.”
Lilia hums at that. As much as he’d rather keep moving, a little rest wouldn’t hurt. Even when the rain eases up, it’s not like the Humans would be able to handle tracking in these conditions.
A silence falls over them, and all they could hear was the steady sound of rain falling and the flow of water not far off. The sound is enough to make Lilia start to doze off instead of passing out this time. But then Revan decides to break that silence, and all Lilia can focus on is him.
“Lilia, why did you do it?”
“Stupid question…”
“I’m serious.” And he was. Lilia knows that tone. ‘The Dukes Tone’ him and Maleanor would tease him over growing up. Because for as easy going as he could be, he was just as serious about things that were important him. And it was hard to dismiss him when he hits limit being patient.
“…body moved before I realized. I couldn’t…couldn’t let you get hurt.” Lilia admits, finally looking at Revan. He hates admitting it, but it was easier than coming up with a lie. His head hurt too much to think of one.
“Because Maleanor would be upset?”
“Yeah. Me too.”
“You’d be upset if I got hurt?”
“Always am.” It’s exhausting keeping his eyes open. It’s worse looking at Revan while admitting to all this. “You and Maleanor…supposed to protect you two. When I can’t…I hate when you two hurt.”
It’s why he hated Revan was also part of the military. A good solider though he was, a good General, it increased his chances of being hurt or killed. If Revan was back at the castle with Maleanor, at least he’d know they were safe and together. Revan wouldn’t be hurt and Maleanor wouldn’t hurt seeing her beloved in such condition.
That’s why Lilia had to protect him. Both of them. He’s not sure what he would do if he failed at it.
Revan’s fingers trace his cheek, and his touch is warm. Lilia can’t help but want to lean into that warmth. His head still hurts and his body aches, but Revan’s voice is soothing. It always is. Just like being cradled in his arms like this was.
“Heh. Why is it only when you’re concussed are you honest about these things...” Revan huffs a weak laugh. “You know we don’t want you hurt either, right? You’re our Lilia. Our Right General.”
The fingers tracing his cheek suddenly move to his chin. If Lilia hadn’t almost had his head smashed it, he might have been able to see what his friend was intending to do. Yet when his head is tilted back slightly, he’s not prepared for Revan pressing their lips together. It’s soft and gentle, and everything Lilia craves for.
It breaks his heart in more ways than one.
And when his friend pulls back, Lilia can only be a quiet, “Maleanor will get mad.”
He hates the charming smile Revan gives him. “Yeah. More because she isn’t here.”
This time when he leans in, Lilia expects the kiss. And maybe if it was easier to think, he’d shove his friend away and yell at him for messing with him like this. Maybe if he wasn’t dizzy from the wound on his head and the pain easier to bare, he’d storm off into the rain. He’s leave this man behind for pulling a stunt like this now of all times.
But as it was, Lilia couldn’t do any of those things. All he can do it let Revan hold him in his lap and arms like he’s the one worth protecting. All he can do is let Revan kiss him like he’s just as important as the Princess waiting for him. Waiting for them.
And if Lilia kisses him back, clinging to him and this feeling before it disappears when he blacks out again, then no one outside this cave will ever know.
“I kissed Lilia.”
Revan expects the reaction from his love. But still, he can’t stifle a laugh when Maleanor rounds on him, her hair flying around her as she demands, “And why did you get to kiss him and I didn’t!? When was this!? I knew you two were doing stuff together and leaving me out!”
The sparks that begin to fly around the room are eased away when Revan walks over to take Maleanor’s hand. He brings it up to his lips, kissing her ring as he murmurs for her to calm down before leading her to their bed.
Though there is plenty of room next to him, that doesn’t stop his wife from sitting on his lap instead.
Looping her arms around his neck, she looks down as him and asks, “When did you kiss Lilia? I assume it was before he got his skull cracked open protecting you? How is he by the way? I tried to go to the infirmary, but I was called away to send an update to Mother.”
“He’s okay.” As okay as someone getting hit with a rock the size of their head can be anyway. “He’s supposed to be monitored, but you know how he is. The second he gets a chance, he’ll probably find a place to hide to sleep it off.”
“So stubborn...he should just sleep here if he’s so jumpy about even doctors seeing him sleep.” Maleanor mutters under her breath. Revan rubs her back to help ease her. He decides not to remind her Lilia doesn’t like sleeping around them as well. “And the kiss?”
That makes Revan grimace. “He doesn’t remember. I kissed him after he was injured when we were resting and hiding.”
“Pretending?”
“I don’t believe so. He genuinely doesn’t seem to remember us being in that cave at all.”
He thinks about when they returned to the castle, waiting to see Lilia after he was treated. Once he was able to, Lilia looked so honestly confused at the mention of a cave that Revan couldn’t see it being an act. He didn’t even remember being hit. He probably wouldn’t believe it either if it weren’t for the wound on his head as proof.
“I see...” Maleanor hums. Revan stares up at her, letting her sway in his lap as she thinks things over. And when she grins, he doesn’t miss the wicked glint in her eyes. “Look at my husband, taking advantage of a concussed Lilia to get what he wants. I’m jealous. Last time I kissed Lilia was before my Coming of Age ceremony, and he threatened to run away if I tried again.”
Revan remembers that day very clearly. It’s one of the times he knows Lilia was serious with his threats as well. He considers it a miracle his wife didn’t test to see.
“I wouldn’t call it taking advantage...” Revan starts. But when his wife gives him a look, he admits, “But I know he wouldn’t have let me do it otherwise.”
“Of course he wouldn’t. He’s been so distant with us since the wedding. Well, more so with me. You two are still glued at the hip most of the time.” Maleanor sighs. Revan wraps his arm around her waist, though he keeps silent.
He understands why Lilia acts the way he does with them. He knows Maleanor does as well. But while he usually gives their friend space, Maleanor can’t help but poke and prod for a reaction to show her affections for Lilia. Hoping to get something out of it despite Revan’s warnings not to push her luck.
“So was it nice?”
“Hm?”
“The kiss! Was it nice kissing, Lilia?” Tracing her nail along his jaw, Maleanor tilts his head back to look up at her. “Was is nicer than kissing your beloved wife?”
“Would you be offended if I said ‘yes’?”
“I will. Mostly because I can’t get a chance to kiss him to compare to kissing you.” His wife grumbles.
“Heh. Well, I can reassure my beloved wife that nothing is better than kissing you.” Revan catches his loves hand so he can bring it to his cheek. He wonders how she’d react if she knew it was more than one kiss. He’ll tell her later.
“Would you kiss Lilia again if you had the chance?”
“I would. Just like I know you would as well.”
“Hm. Maybe one day we can try to convince him to be with us together for some kisses.” Maleanor moves to straddle his lap. Her nightgown hitches up her thighs to her hips. Cupping Revan’s face in her hands, her voice softens to something more tender. “Jokes aside, I’m relieved you weren’t hurt. I hate Lilia was hurt and I hope he lets us look after him. I want to find him so we can look after him. But I can’t lie and say I’m not relieved you weren’t the one bleeding from your head. I wish to keep both of you with me, my Love. But you...”
“I know.” Revan turns his head to kiss her palm. “I know. It’s the same for me as well.”
He loves his beloved wife more than anything. His Maleanor. He knows it’s the same for her as well. And they both love Lilia in their own way. A very real love at that. But their love for each other and their love for Lilia are two different things. It isn’t the love Lilia wants from them. Nor is it the love he has for them in return. It makes things complicated at times trying to navigate it without anyone getting hurt. But Revan knows it does’t make it any less real for them. All of them.
Even if hurt happens regardless.