Archive of Our Own

Losing Niran’s spiritual energy—his soul in Pete’s body—was like waking up on mornings when Pete forgot, just for a moment, that his parents were dead. When a smell or a memory of a dream had him thinking his parents were downstairs with breakfast, and for just that instant, the world was full and right. But then, reality crashed in and the world felt like a washed out version of itself, a photo left out in the sun until it was bleached all the wrong colors. And Pete’s chest felt hollowed out by the reminder. A sinkhole held together by an adhesive bandage.

That feeling followed Pete like a wounded dog even as he visited his sister, as he talked to Jia Hao and Tong about Niran’s missing spirit and how to bring it back, as he gave Jack, Thua, and Tao strict instructions to keep an eye on his sister while he was gone, as Fei came in just as the ritual was getting started and stared, crossing her arms in judgement.

“You can’t talk me out of it,” Pete said, meeting her gaze defiantly.

Fei shook her head once. “I want to tell you to stop, because the ways of the Spirit Realm are too dangerous, because Niran would want me to protect you in his stead. But,” she sighed and looked away. “I want my little brother back.”

It was a selfish thing, what they were doing. Who knew if it was the will of Heaven or not, and who cared? Niran had been stolen from them, and they were going to go steal him back.

Pete tapped his palm over his heart and the small noise brought Fei’s attention back. Smiling as best he could, Pete said, “You can totally count on me, P’Fei.”

She scoffed like he was being stupid, but her lips raised in a smile and gave her away.

…

…

The world spun and swirled in colors so numerous, Pete couldn’t name them all. He lost all sense of self, all understanding of direction. Jia Hao had warned that the Spirit Realm was easy to get lost in, but this was ridiculous.

“Just take me to Niran already,” Pete said like a curse.

He held up his hand—though it felt a bit like he moved his leg instead, and wow, that was a trip—and called upon the soul bond. It glimmered into existence, brighter than it had since Niran’s soul had vanished from the waking world. It floated forward and out of sight, leading toward his other half.

“There you are,” Pete said with a smile, and then began to follow the golden line.

…

…

The forest was dark around him, but Pete didn’t need light to see the yao energy surging in the distance ahead of him. It was a dark, cloudy blue, swirling around tree trucks and sifting through leaves, leaving them withered in its wake. And someone, a child, lay on the ground in front of it.

“Shit!” Pete let out, dropping his wrist and running.

He didn’t have Niran’s Wu skills. He didn’t know how to seal a yao or whatever. But he wasn’t going to sit by and watch one kill a kid.

Pete ran to where the most yao energy had collected, where it almost looked like a solid form, and delivered a side kick. Part of him expected to just fall straight through it, like a cloud, but his foot actually made contact. The yao let out a horrible noise and jerked away. Even though it had no face, Pete knew when it turned its focus on him.

Nodding, Pete gestured for the yao to come at him. “Yeah. Come on. Fight someone your own size.”

Which…didn’t really make any sense, as the yao energy covered more area than Pete did, so Pete wasn’t…its size. Whatever.

When the yao lunged forward, Pete spun, lowering his torso and lashing out with a sweeping kick that knocked the yao sideways. Coming back up, Pete got into a ready fight stance, hands up, legs apart for a solid base. The yao came at him again and Pete struck out with a fist. This time, the yao split in two, going around the fist to land an attack directly to Pete’s chest.

It felt like knives going straight through his torso and Pete couldn’t even yell. He choked, hands going to his chest, and fell to his knees. Damn, what was this yao made of? Pete shook his head. It didn’t matter. He had to make it go away to protect the kid.

Calling on the monkey wasn’t a great feeling—like wearing someone else’s skin—but Pete did it anyway. The energy cascaded over his body, a flash of anger Pete breathed through. When he stood up, Pete knew his eyes probably had a yellow tinge, his movements more simian. The yao recognized the energy, jerking first forward toward the demon energy, no doubt longing for power, then jerking back away from such  a clearly stronger source.

Pete didn’t give it time to decide if it wanted his soul. He attacked, striking faster, harder, than a normal human was capable of. The yao energy tried to hit back but Pete dodged every attempt, kicking or punching the yao back, back, away from the child.

After getting the yao a decent distance from its intended victim, Pete took a deep breath and let out a roar the likes of which a normal macaque could never imagine. The energy in just his voice disrupted the yao’s form. Fizzling and shrieking, the yao fled further into the forest.

Pete held on to the macaque’s energy until he couldn’t see or sense the yao anymore. Then, with a shake of his head, he let it go. When he felt entirely himself, Pete ran back to the kid.

The kid was small, maybe seven years old? with short cropped hair and too-thin limbs. When he saw Pete coming, he yelled and scrambled back until his back hit a tree.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Pete said, holding up his hands in surrender. “The yao is gone. You’re safe.”

Something on Pete’s wrist glinted and he watched as the soul bond languidly trailed from him toward the child. The…child…was Niran?

Blinking, Pete turned his attention back to the kid, who was blinking with wide eyes at the golden thread. Pete quickly put his wrist down and the thread disappeared before it could fully connect with this mini-Niran.

“I’m a friend,” Pete said, slowly approaching.

This time, Niran didn’t try to run away. Instead, he watched Pete approach with curiosity. “You…you could touch it. You made it leave. What are you?”

Pete knelt in front of him. “A friend,” he repeated, then grinned. “I’m just a guy.”

Niran’s eyes narrowed. “You’re not a yao?”

A shrug. “Okay, a guy with a bunch of yao in him.” He held out his hands. “But I’ve got it under control, see?”

Niran leaned forward to inspect Pete’s hands without touching, like that would actually tell him if Pete had the demon under control. Pete was ninety percent sure that’s not how it worked.

“And you’re Wu, right?” Pete prompted. Maybe he had to make this tiny Niran remember who he was and that would bring his soul back to the real world.

Niran shook his head, slumping where he sat. “Grandfather is, but I’m not,” he said sadly. “I can’t do what he can.”

Pete shook his head. “Hey, none of that. You’re an awesome Wu. Even when you doubt that, I’ll always say it. You’re the coolest Wu. Seriously, Niran.”

Niran’s eyes widened as he stared up at Pete’s face like Pete had just done magic. He always looked sort of like that when Pete complimented him. Dang, people needed to remind Niran how awesome he was more often.

After a long moment, Niran folded in on himself again. “It doesn’t matter. I’m a bad Wu. I get scared. I’m scared of yao,” he admitted like it was a huge failing.

Getting scared was natural. When Pete got scared, Niran was there to help him—he took the burden of that fear away from Pete, or helped him overcome it, or just said ‘trust me’ and then everything worked out.

Oh. The last time Niran said ‘trust me,’ he’d given Pete his necklace. Like his big self, Little Niran wasn’t wearing the necklace. Niran had said the jade would protect Pete. If the necklace really was magic, maybe it could take Niran home.

Taking it off in the Spirit Realm might not be a good idea. What if it left Pete vulnerable? What if it meant Niran got to go home but Pete didn’t? No, that was fine. Pete was ready and willing to die if it meant Niran was okay again. If Pete didn’t make it home, his friends and Niran would ensure Ploy was taken care of and okay, so he had no fear of dying.

Without hesitation, Pete pulled the jade necklace off and motioned for Niran to lean forward. Then Pete slid the necklace over Niran’s head, situated the jade over his chest.

Fingers still on the jade, Pete looked Niran in the eyes and said, “It will protect you. No matter what happens, you’ll get through it safe and sound.” He remembered Niran telling him the same when he put the necklace on Pete. Did Niran remember? “Trust me on this.”

In front of him, Niran’s mouth dropped open. His hand trailed up to necklace, his fingers over Pete’s on the stone. The jade glowed green between their fingers and it was Pete’s turn to be surprised. Had the necklace done that before?

“Who are you?” Niran asked, wonder in his voice and on his face.

Grinning, Pete pulled his hand back to point at himself. “Me? I’m—”

…

…

“—Pete—oh come on,” Pete griped as he found himself back in the swirling chaos.

With an irritated sigh, Pete reached up to his neck, just to check. The necklace was gone. Niran must still have it. Had he gotten to go home?

Holding his wrist out, Pete thought of Niran’s snarky way of talking. The soul bond faded into view, leading away. Well, that suggested Niran was still somewhere in this place with him.

“Okay. Try again,” Pete told himself.

Holding tight to the bond, Pete hurried forward.

…

…

This time, Pete stumbled into the middle of a dirt road. Well, there were trees all around the road, but at least there was some sign of civilization. There were even clear signs that cars drove through from time to time, if not constantly.

The scenery didn’t matter. Maybe all places in the Spirit Realm looked like nature. Who cared?

Following the golden thread meant following the road, so Pete did. He rounded a small bend, lifted his eyes from his own wrist, and stopped in his tracks.

An electrical power plant?

“Oh my god.” The words were out before Pete thought them.

Above the electrical towers swarmed an amorphous, silvery yao, like liquid mercury. It was huge! As Pete watched, the yao drew energy from somewhere, growing thicker and larger. The tendrils of yao brushed against the tops of the towers, causing sparks and arcs of electricity before the tower went dead.

Wait. Pete knew this story. A yao causing a blackout in an industrial district.

Instead of walking, he raced after the bond, until he came upon Niran sitting behind a small altar—a foldable table only a few inches tall, with the most basic set up Pete had ever seen Niran use. Neither the candle nor incense was lit, though. In fact, it looked like Niran had just finished setting up.

“Niran!”

Niran’s head snapped up as Pete closed the last few feet between them. He looked to be about fifteen, give or take. He was wearing the jade necklace still. Would he remember Pete? This was the Spirit Realm, after all. Pete didn’t know the rules.

Recognition lit in Niran’s eyes, thank goodness, but then he glared. “You.”

Pete nodded. “Me. I’m a friend, remember?”

Niran shook his head and turned back to his altar, to the yao in the sky above the plant. “I don’t have time for this. I have to get rid of this yao.” He picked up his incense sticks.

Pete glanced up at the yao, to the electrical plant, to Niran. His brow furrowed. “But you don’t defeat this yao.”

Setting the incense back down, Niran stared at the table and said, “I thought you said I was an amazing Wu. You don’t think I can do it, though?” His voice was bitter, almost disappointed.

Frowning, Pete shook his head. “No, I know you can do it. But it was caused by the suffering of local workers, right?”

That had Niran’s head snapping back to look at him. Pete nodded.

“The yao was made from the negative feelings of the workers who had been exploited for decades,” Pete said.

He put his hands on his hips, but then felt like a teacher scolding a child and dropped them. If Niran would stand up, this would feel less awkward.

“What happens if you defeat the yao?”

For a few moments, Niran simply stared at him. Then, “The blackout will end and work will continue.”

Pete rolled his eyes. “And?” he prompted, waving a hand toward Niran.

Niran stared at Pete’s hand. “Nothing will change for the workers. Nothing will get better.”

“Exactly!” Pete said. At least Niran remembered why he hadn’t finished this job. “Niran—”

Niran stood, cutting off Pete’s words. He clenched his hands at his sides. “Yao is born from negativity, but not all negativity comes from greed or corruption. If yao exists, the reason it exists is just as important. If it exists because of the suffering of others, defeating the yao doesn’t solve the problem. If we don’t help the people hurt, new yao will simply rise to replace the ones we defeat. We have to fix the system causing the negativity.”

“Cure the cause, not just the symptoms,” Pete said in agreement. He pointed at Niran. “See? You care about people. That’s what makes you so awesome, man.”

Niran looked Pete over from head to toe and back. “You look the same. Is the yao still sealed inside you?”

A sardonic laugh and Pete crossed his arms. “Uh, yeah. Nothing’s changed in the last five minutes, so yeah.”

Niran hummed contemplatively, then reached up to touch the jade pendant. Pete perked up. Was Niran about to do some cool Wu thing to get them out of here?

“When you’re nearby,” Niran began, slowly, “it feels like…part of me that was missing is back.”

“Same,” Pete said. He placed a hand over his heart. “I didn’t realize anything was missing until I met you and you filled it.” He lifted his hand and the golden thread came into view. “And with this, all I have to do is think about you and I can find you anywhere.”

Niran stared at the golden string in shock. “You—I—?” He motioned between them, much like Pete had done the day after the ritual was created.

Pete grinned at the memory. “It’s really helpful,” he said, even as he lowered his wrist and the gold faded away. “It’s how I found you in here. And now I’ll take you back.”

Brows drawing low in confusion, Niran said, “Back? Back where?”

“Home, obviously.” Pete held out his hand. “Come on. We can do it together.”

Niran hesitated. Maybe Pete hadn’t reminded him enough. Maybe he hadn’t been trustworthy enough. But he got the feeling that if Niran would just take his hand, they’d really get out of the Spirit Realm and back to their friends and family. Together.

After several seconds, Niran finally seemed to come to a conclusion. With a nod to himself, Niran reached for Pete’s hand.

…

…

Colors swirled around him, up was down and left was right and backwards was corner ways and Pete cursed aloud.

“You have got to be kidding me!” he shouted. “Really?! We were so close!”

Taking a moment, Pete closed his eyes and breathed. He couldn’t let anger rule him, especially not in a spiritual place like this. Jia Hao had warned him to keep a cool head, lest he be led astray and lost.

“Like a breeze,” Pete murmured, imagining himself standing at the edge of a lake with Niran at his side. With a deep inhale and slow exhale, he let the irritation go.

Pete would follow the soul bond a hundred times—a thousand times—if that was what it took. But he would not leave this place without Niran at his side.

Holding his hand out like he was reaching for Niran just in front of him, Pete called upon the bond. It glowed strong and bright, leading confidently into the distance.

“I’m coming for you, Niran,” Pete said, and took his next first step.

…

…

This time, Pete found himself in an apartment. On one side of the room sat a desk with a laptop, some mail, a lamp, and a few small, framed photographs. One of them was the photo of Niran and his grandfather that now lived in Pete’s house. On the other side of the room was a kitchenette with some cabinets, a sink, a microwave, a hot water dispenser, and a small basket with two glass cups. There was a two-seater table in the middle of the room, two closed doors that probably went to a bedroom and bathroom, and a glass door to a balcony seating area.

There were no pictures on the walls, no TV set or couch, no decorations other than those few little photographs. There wasn’t even a clock. It was like being in a barely furnished motel room.

“It’s like the room has depression,” Pete muttered, frowning. And he would know. He’d been pretty damn depressed after his parents died, until Niran came into his life.

A key turned in the lock and, before Pete could do more than look that way, the door opened.

“Niran!” Pete let out joyfully, because it wasn’t a child or a teenage Niran walking in, but adult Niran, the one Pete knew! “There you are!”

Niran jerked back, narrowed his eyes at Pete. After a moment, like before, recognition lit his eyes and he hurried to shut the door behind him.

“You,” Niran said, dropping a black bag on the floor by the door and pointing at Pete. “What the hell are you? You keep disappearing in front of my eyes,” he accused.

Pete kept disappearing in front of his own eyes, and that was irritating enough. From Niran’s perspective it must be more annoying. Especially since he kept changing sizes every time.

“Like I said before, I’m your friend,” Pete said, motioning between them. “I’m here to take you back home.”

Niran scoffed derisively and motioned to the studio apartment. “This is my home,” he said, but he didn’t sound happy about it, then pointed to the door. “Get out.”

“Aow,” Pete whined, taking a step further away from the door. “What’s that for?”

Shaking his head, Niran grabbed his black bag and stomped further inside. He almost shoulder-checked Pete except that Pete stepped out of the way. Niran dropped the black bag under the desk, tossed more mail on top of the pile.

With his back to Pete, Niran said, “I don’t know what you are. Human. Yao. And it doesn’t matter. You’ll leave again, just like everyone else. That’s all that matters.”

Brow furrowing, Pete grabbed Niran by the shoulder and spun him around. The look on Niran’s face said he hadn’t expected to be touched. Well, Pete was gonna do a lot more touching soon.

Good thing Pete didn’t say that aloud. It sounded weird even just in his head.

“Listen,” Pete said, poking Niran in the chest. “I’m not leaving you. Even without a soul bond, you’re not getting rid of me.”

Niran stood tall, almost like he was trying to puff his chest out to seem bigger, except the Niran Pete knew had never tried to posture before. “Speaking of the soul bond, who did that? Who the hell decided my soul should be bound for eternity to someone like you?”

Okay, that hurt.

Niran hadn’t been that mean in a while, and not without reason. He’d said he didn’t regret the soul bond. He’d said so—Wait. Maybe this was the Spirit Realm’s test. Maybe it was seeing if Pete would be discouraged and leave Niran behind.

Letting out a slow breath, Pete let the hurt flow out, brought hope in its place. “You did,” he said. Niran’s eyes widened. “You used it to bring me back from the edge, the same as I do for you.”

Niran looked away, clearly uncomfortable. With what? Pete followed his gaze, but all he saw was the empty, lifeless apartment. At least in his parents’ house, Pete had been surrounded by their ghosts. This apartment didn’t even have that. It was a cell.

That was it. Niran had always struggled with being an outcast. This room was a physical representation of that. He was alone, cut off from others. He was lost.

But Pete had found him.

“This isn’t your home, Niran,” Pete said, then pointed out the glass door. “It’s out there. In our house.” Saying the words made Pete’s heart jump to his throat and he had to swallow it back down or risk tearing up. God, he just wanted Niran to be there in the morning when he woke up, at night when he fell asleep. “It’s with our friends, our family.”

At the word ‘family,’ Niran’s eyes trailed to the photos on the desk behind him. Then he moved around Pete toward the kitchenette. He grabbed a cup and started thumbing through a drawer for something.

Pete shook his head. “You think you’re alone,” he said. Niran stopped moving. “You’ve always thought you were, and dammit, I don’t know how many times I have to say it. I’ll tell you every day if you need me to.”

His voice was getting choked up, despite his best effort. But maybe that’s what Niran needed to wake up. Maybe he needed Pete’s honest emotions. Not anger, but love. Certainly the sound had Niran glancing over his shoulder, at least.

“You’re not alone, Niran. You have people on your side. You have me.” Pete put a hand over his heart. “Even when we fight—even when I don’t understand—You have me.”

Niran turned around, like he was actually hearing Pete for the first time. There was hope, something so fragile, in his expression. Despite whatever the Spirit Realm had done to Niran’s mind, he wanted to believe Pete’s words.

The tears that had been building in Pete’s eyes finally started to fall and Niran’s own eyes widened.

“You’ll always have me. I’m right here, by your side, and I’m not going anywhere, Niran. I promise. Just come back with me.”

Niran’s mouth opened, shut, opened again. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, let it out. When he opened his eyes again, something a lot like trust shone out of his gaze. “How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

Pete hurriedly wiped his eyes and cleared his throat, then held up his wrist. The bond glowed bright in the dim light of the apartment.

His voice was still a bit wet when he said, “If you can’t trust me yet, that’s fine. Trust this. It connects us across any distance. It means all I have to do is think of you when I’m lost and I’ll be found, and you can do the same for me.” He gave Niran his best smile. “Think of me, Niran.”

With another scoff—this one the familiar ‘you’re being ridiculous’ one Pete knew well—Niran muttered, “Like I don’t do that enough already.”

“Huh?” Pete let out.

Shaking his head, Niran crossed the room to stand in front of Pete. “So, we hold hands, right?”

He held out his hand like a challenge, like he thought Pete wouldn’t take it. Well, joke was on him then, because Pete took his hand so fast he almost missed.

Even just having Niran’s hand warm in his own made relief flood through Pete. Now, if the Spirit Realm let him stay long enough, he could pull Niran out of here.

“Good. Now, uh,” he squinted at their hands, trying to remember what Jia Hao had said. The memory of fuzzy, no doubt another issue with the Spirit Realm. “Concentrate your energy and…with our spiritual energies combined…think of home?”

He didn’t get a verbal response from Niran, just a tightening of his hold on Pete’s hand. That was enough for Pete. He met Niran’s eyes—staring at him like he was a puzzle Niran desperately wanted to solve—and then shut his own eyes so he could focus.

Go home. Together. Back to the real world, where Niran could stare at him all day, could scoff and tell him he was being ridiculous, could insist that they split meal checks and force him to eat his veggies. Back to the house Niran had bought but let Pete make all the decisions about—except who got the best bedroom. Back to Ploy and Fei, their family, to Jack, Thua, and Tao, to Yok, Jia Hao. and Tong. Back to where Pete’s heart felt so full it might burst out of his chest and sing.

Niran’s grip on his hand tightened, tugged Pete forward. Pete stumbled half a step, their chests bumping lightly. Just as Pete’s eyes came open, Niran leaned in and pressed their lips together. The soul bond glowed so brightly it was almost painful. Pete’s eyes widened—

…

…

With a gasp, Pete sat up. He pressed a hand to his lips even as he looked around to get his bearings. It was Niran’s hospital room. Was he back?

Tong, in a seat next to the couch where Pete had lain, sat tall with attention. “Ah, you made it back. Did it work?”

In tandem, they both looked to the hospital bed. Niran was there, just as he had been when they started the ritual. Unlike when they started, Niran’s eyes were open.

Pete jumped to his feet and rushed to close the distance between them. As soon as he was capable, Pete took up Niran’s hand in his own, breathed in the feeling of the soul bond. It felt complete in a way it hadn’t the entire time Pete had been in the Spirit Realm.

“There you are,” Pete sighed out, content for the first time in days.

“Here we are,” Niran replied, squeezing Pete’s hand tightly.

…

…

Like with Ploy, the doctors were puzzled by Niran’s recovery but said he could go home the next day.

Pete was torn between staying with Niran—afraid that if he left for too long, Niran would vanish again—and being with his sister. It was only after Tong, Jia Hao, and Fei assured him that Niran’s soul was whole again and not going anywhere, that Pete finally left.

Jack, Thua, and Tao had played games with Ploy to keep her entertained, which made Pete smile. They had also, with very little prompting it sounded like, told Ploy everything about the demons. Pete might have to smack them.

“It’s okay. I think…part of me already knew,” Ploy said, frowning. She touched her chest. “It’s felt like I was…surrounded by a war zone, and only just escaped. At least this way, I know I’m not losing my mind.”

Pete held her until she stopped shaking. Then, still petting her hair, he asked, “Do you want to come live with me? With us? We fixed up the house.”

Ploy nodded, holding tight to Pete’s arm. “Please take me home.”

…

…

Pete took Ploy to her dorm to pack a bag, then drove her home. He got her settled into her old room, then spent the rest of the day walking around the house with her, explaining what was new and pointing out things that were the same as when they were kids. He even showed her his bedroom, where she questioned the second mattress with a lifted eyebrow.

“It’s—It’s complicated,” was all Pete managed.

The guys had told her about Niran doing ‘a spell’ to help Pete control his demon, but not that it bound their souls together. Beyond that…Pete could still remember how Niran kissed him in the Spirit Realm, but Niran hadn’t mentioned it when he woke up. What did that mean for them?

Luckily, Ploy let it go and asked about where the others slept when they stayed over instead.

That night, she slept in her bed for the first time in years. At her request, Pete brought Niran’s mattress and blankets into her room and slept on the floor beside her.

The next afternoon, Fei brought Niran back from the hospital—their entire entourage in tow, much to Niran’s exasperation. Jack, Thua, and Tao brought takeout with them—“Phi bought it for everyone!” they said, motioning to Jia Hao—and everyone settled in around the table or on the couch to eat.

Though it was clear that Ploy didn’t know what to do with so many people in the house—one who kept making Pete smile even—she let Pete know that, demons or no demons, she was glad he was doing better.

Once everyone had demolished the food, Yok asked, “What was the Spirit Realm like?”

Jack, Thua, and Tao jumped to ask their own questions about it as well, and soon Pete was cornered into explaining. He told them about the swirling colors and messed up senses, about encountering Niran first as a child, then a teen, then an adult, and having to convince him to trust Pete three times before it finally stuck and they got to come home.

He didn’t mention the kiss.

“It sounds like a novel we’d have to read in school,” Thua said, sounding somehow both impressed and revolted at the idea.

“Like you would actually read it,” Jack teased.

“The Spirit Realm is a mysterious place,” Fei said. “I’m not surprised it used something so symbolic to lead you both home.” She shook her head. “Let’s not have to do that again.”

“Then let’s figure out how to take out that Li Puo guy and settle things once and for all,” Jia Hao declared, smacking the table.

…

…

Later, Pete showered, then sat on his bed to wait for Niran. The longer it took the other man to take his own shower and come in, the more Pete’s leg shook.

He’d moved Niran’s bedding back into the room, so Niran had to come sleep in there. Right? Would it be better or worse that way? Pete still hadn’t had a chance to ask Niran about the kiss, which had his heart racing, but the thought that Niran wouldn’t sleep in their room had anxiety jumping in his veins.

After what felt like a lifetime, Niran finally came back from the bathroom in his sleep clothes, the jade necklace around his neck. They nodded at each other, and then Niran sat on his bedding. On it, not under it, and faced Pete.

Oh. They were definitely going to talk about the kiss. Pete swallowed thickly.

“It wasn’t symbolic.”

Pete blinked. “Huh?”

Niran pinched the bridge of his nose. “You. Meeting me as a child, a teen, and an adult. It wasn’t symbolic.” He met Pete’s eyes. “It really happened.”

Pete glanced around, as if something in the room would make that make more sense. “Uh, I know. In the Spirit Realm.”

Shaking his head, Niran said, “No. In my life.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “When I was seven, I wanted to prove I could do what my grandfather did. I went looking for a yao to seal. But I didn’t know what yao were yet, not really, let alone how to defeat one. I almost died except that someone saved me.”

“What? Who?” Pete asked.

Niran lifted an eyebrow at him. Dryly, he said, “A friend who had a demon sealed inside him, and who gave me this necklace.” He hooked his finger on the cord of the jade necklace to lift it just a bit.

That would mean that Pete hadn’t met Niran’s soul masquerading as a kid. That would mean Pete had met actual child Niran. But he’d been in the Spirit Realm! That wasn’t how the Spirit Realm worked!...Was it?

“He told me the necklace would protect me, and he was right.” Niran shook his head once and dropped the necklace, his lips pulling up into a small, sardonic smile. “He was part of the reason I decided to really become a Wu after my grandfather died.”

Pete put his hands on the edge of the bed and clenched, imagining young Niran losing his only family. If Pete had really traveled through time, why hadn’t he ended up where he could be by Niran’s side through that?

Niran wasn’t done. “When I was fifteen, that same friend showed up on my first solo mission as a Wu. I already wasn’t sure about defeating the yao, about the suffering of the workers, but he helped clear my doubts.”

Niran lowered his eyes to somewhere around Pete’s knee, but his gaze was distant, like he was seeing that day instead of the room.

His voice was quiet, almost philosophical, when he next spoke. “Here was someone with so much yao energy inside them, but he wasn’t evil. He didn’t need defeating.”

Pete’s chest warmed to hear Niran validate him, his humanity despite the macaque.

“He proved what I had been thinking. Not all yao was bad.” Niran’s hands clenched in his lap. “Not only that, but he made me feel…lighter, whole, in a way I didn’t yet understand.”

“The soul bond,” Pete said.

He’d felt frayed at the edges with half of Niran’s soul missing. Even being with him in the Spirit Realm—or…the past?—hadn’t felt quite right. Only with Niran alive, awake, and next to him did Pete feel settled. That was the bond, right?

Niran lifted his eyes to Pete’s and stared at him, like he was deciding if he should say what was on his mind or not. Eventually, he said, “It wasn’t that, but I didn’t know what it was until he showed up a third time.”

Pete opened his mouth to ask for clarification. If it wasn’t the soul bond, then what? If Niran hadn’t been feeling the bond, then what had Pete been feeling? Niran kept talking before he could ask.

“I’d moved into my own apartment, had started my business, and then one day he suddenly showed up again. He had all these great promises about being there for me, and I—” Niran’s throat worked, but it took a few tries before he could get the next words out. “My heart felt…alive. In a way it only did when around him.”

It was true of Pete’s heart too. He loved his friends. He loved his sister. But something about Niran made him feel…more. More himself. More alive. Just…more.

Niran shook his head. “He kept saying he’d take me home, and I wanted that. I wanted to go with him.” He took a fortifying breath, then confessed. “I wanted him.”

Pete swallowed thickly. “So you…kissed him.”

“Yes.”

If Pete wasn’t already gripping the edge of his bed, his hands would be visibly shaking. He’d gone back in time. Not only that, but he’d had such an impact on kid Niran that adult Niran wanted him. Adult Niran, like the adult sitting on the floor in front of him. How long ago did they kiss for Niran? Did he—Did he still want that?

Frowning, Niran’s voice turned bitter. “And then he vanished again, taking part of me with him. I was fucking pissed. He broke my heart.”

“Not on purpose!” Pete protested.

Niran lifted an eyebrow as if to say, ‘Do you think that matters, Stupid?’ Pete shut his mouth, ducking his head.

Then, “Two years later, imagine my surprise when I walked into that gambling hall and there you were.”

“That must’ve been…strange.”

Niran shifted to lean back on his hands and sighed. “It was. But I quickly realized you had no memory of us meeting before. You were…less. Almost hollow, compared to the man I’d met.” He shook his head once, as if to dismiss the thought. “I didn’t know why or how or what that meant—if you just had the same face, or if something would send you back later, or what. I was still pretty mad at him, though, and I probably took it out on you.”

Thinking back to how dismissive Niran had been about Pete’s macaque concerns at first, Pete wasn’t sure if Niran had been taking out past frustrations on him, or if he just knew Pete would have it under control and so was being a little shit. Either way, all that snark led them to here, to being as close as they were. Pete couldn’t find fault in the road when it led him to Niran.

Niran shrugged, his eyes lowering again before he kept talking. “Even without memories, you were…the same. Quick to trust me, to tell me I could trust you. You still kept repeating the same things you used to. And I...realized that my feelings hadn’t gone away.” He let out a shaky breath. “In fact, the more I got to know you, the more I felt, and the more scared I became.”

Pete blinked, shifted, felt like he was waking up from a dream. Niran’s feelings had only grown? “What are you scared of?” he asked. Rejection? Pete had been afraid of that, for sure.

Niran took a deep breath, held it. Then, with a forlorn smile, he looked up. “You’ve disappeared in front of me three times. I don’t think I could handle it again.”

He looked so sad, like Pete disappearing on him was a foregone conclusion. Shaking his head, Pete slid off the bed to kneel in front of Niran. Then he leaned in and wrapped Niran in a hug tighter than the one he’d given on the bridge before Niran’s soul was taken. Unlike on the bridge, Niran was pretty quick to return it.

“Jerk,” Pete said, his voice choked. “You disappeared in front of me, too.”

He would have nightmares about Niran just falling, going limp and unresponsive in his arms, for at least the next couple of months, for sure.

With a snort, Niran leaned his head against Pete’s and said, “At least you had my body. You just vanished into thin air.”

Pete pulled back far enough to look Niran in the face. “Not on purpose!” he protested. “The Spirit Realm is just an asshole, apparently.”

That made Niran laugh outright and every muscle in Pete’s body relaxed at the sound. Niran was here. They were both here. They’d thought they lost each other, but they’d also found each other again. They could pull each other back from the edge. And soul bond or no soul bond, their hearts felt the most complete when the other was near.

Overcome, Pete leaned in. Niran stopped laughing, his eyes widening, then narrowing. Seeing that, Pete stopped with his mouth a few scant centimeters from Niran’s. Was this not okay? Would Niran punch him if Pete followed through?

Then Niran closed the distance, pressing their lips together. The kiss held no hesitation, but it was questioning, seeking. ‘Is this okay?’ it seemed to ask. ‘Can I do this?’

In answer, one of Pete’s hands came up to hold the side of Niran’s face and he deepened the kiss. Yes. This was more than okay. Yes, Niran could kiss him any time he wanted. Niran’s arms came up to wrap around Pete’s shoulders, keeping him close, and kissed back just as deeply.

When they stopped kissing, they didn’t pull away. Instead, in tandem, they chose to lean their foreheads together, still breathing the same air, still connected.

Niran frowned, but it wasn’t a wholly unhappy look. “I’m not letting you leave again,” he said, his fingers gripping the fabric of Pete’s sleep shirt.

Pete huffed and smiled. “I wasn’t planning on it.” Then he, too, frowned. “And I’m gonna kick that Li Pou guy’s ass so he can’t even try to take you away again.”

Niran’s lips quirked up in amusement. He nodded, still with his forehead against Pete’s. Pete made a sound of protest because it felt weird and Niran’s smile grew. “We’ll both kick his ass.”

Pete lowered his hand to Niran’s shoulder and felt the cord of the necklace under his fingers. He glanced down at it briefly before looking back up into Niran’s too-close eyes. “Don’t take this off,” Pete said, giving the cord a slight tug.

A hum. “I’ll get you another one, so we’re both protected,” Niran said, closing his eyes.

Pete tilted his head to press a peck to Niran’s lips. The other man didn’t open his eyes, but he did smile, which made Pete smile too.

“Deal.”

…

…

fin