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"What is all this talk of a...'sexmobile'? I do not understand."
Thor had come down the stairs. He'd heard the exchange between Tony and Clint. Sweet Jesus, why.
Steve tried to save himself from further embarrassment. "They were just kidding around, Thor." Please let those two get the hint and shut their mouths, the soldier prayed.
"It's hard to explain, Thor. Think of it as a vehicle that takes you away from...frustration, and towards...excitement, and release...of your unhappiness."
Damn Clint and his innuendos. And bless Thor for not knowing what Clint really meant.
The god in question nodded. "That sounds rather pleasant." Oh, Thor, you would find it pleasant.
"Think of the sexmobile as the golden chariot that will one day carry Captain Purity's virginity off into the sunset."
Thor's eyebrows practically hit the ceiling. Steve could feel the blood rushing to his face, and had an urge to smother Tony with a nearby couch cushion. He really regretted sharing certain details of his life with the billionaire.
"Stark, I swear I'll-"
Bruce, sensing that his partner in science had gone too far and could be in peril, stood up, grabbing Tony by the wrist and pulling him to the door. "I need some help with that experiment I'm working on."
"Didn't you finish that last ni-"
"Just stop talking, I don't want to write a eulogy. Clint, go climb through some vents or whatever you like to do."
Thank god for Bruce, though the scientist could have intervened earlier.
The archer left the room. Steve made a mental note to find a broom as soon as possible. Before Bruce was able to get Tony out of the room, the taller brunette turned back to Steve. "Swing low, sweet chariot-"
"Tony."
"You didn't say anything about communicating through song." Bruce muttered something under his breath, and soon Steve and Thor were the only two left in the living room.
The god spoke, eyebrows still raised. "You've never laid with another?" He sounded disbelieving, as if he couldn't understand how Steve hadn't shed his virginity the way a caterpillar shed it's cocoon to become a butterfly. A star-spangled butterfly, in Steve's case.
The super soldier sighed. Looks like that sex talk would be happening sooner than he expected. Lovely.