Hammers and Shields
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"I don't want to know. Now I have to walk into a mattress store with two big blond guys. That won't look weird at all." He sighed heavily. "Alright, let's go. Don't have sex on the displays, us mortals consider that impolite."
Series
- Part 1 of Hammers and Shields
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Normally the philanthropist would enjoy the moment, but that was hard to do when you could hear your star-spangled teammate getting screwed into next week.
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- Part 2 of Hammers and Shields
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Thor really loved mornings.
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- Part 3 of Hammers and Shields
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Thor has something to tell Steve. Based off of "Do You Want To Know A Secret" by The Beatles.
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- Part 4 of Hammers and Shields
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"Consider this payback for making me listen to your obscenely loud super-god sex the other night."
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- Part 5 of Hammers and Shields
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Clint was feeling nosy. That was never good. When Clint was nosy, it was never on a normal level.
This was the beginning of the end. Soon, Steve would no longer have secrets. He'd have to start whacking the vents with a broom to scare off perching hawks."I do believe this is a love letter." No. He was terribly wrong. Clint was in a joking mood. God help them all. Or in this case, God help Steve Rogers in what will likely be an embarrassing time.
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- Part 6 of Hammers and Shields
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"Think of the sexmobile as the golden chariot that will one day carry Captain Purity's virginity off into the sunset."
Thor's eyebrows practically hit the ceiling. Steve could feel the blood rushing to his face, and had an urge to smother Tony with a nearby couch cushion.
A direct continuation of Note.
Series
- Part 7 of Hammers and Shields
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They were not...They were. Oh god. Not his clean counter tops. He was definitely sanitizing those later.
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- Part 8 of Hammers and Shields
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Clint, who'd been taking a sip of his drink when Tony asked the question, started to choke. Tony pounded his friend's back, cursing the moment Thor had decided to be so open about his sex life.
"Dammit, I think you broke Legolas."
Series
- Part 9 of Hammers and Shields
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"Keep in mind that I have a basement full of weapons, and my best friend is the Hulk- Who did a pretty good job kicking your brother's ass. If you bring a single non-happiness tear to Spangles' eye, we can send you back to Valhalla in a full-body cast, god or not. Got it?"
Series
- Part 10 of Hammers and Shields