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Isak put the drawing in his pocket and tried to calm the muscles in his cheeks, eagerly protesting about keeping his mouth closed. Didn’t work. The smile was back in place and he just couldn’t give a shit about it when people sent him weird looks passing him by in the hallway.
He brought his books for Norwegian class and headed to the classroom. It was half empty, and it was still another few minutes until they were about to start, so he flopped down at one of the desks by the window. The weather wasn’t usually any good in Norway during November, but hell, today the sun was shining.
More students started filing in, taking up seats, and a girl (whose name Isak was fairly certain was Martine) took the seat beside him. Didn’t ask if it was free. She had long, blonde hair and was probably pretty, in a way. Or, she was obviously pretty. Magnus would probably say she was hot but she wasn’t exactly Isak’s type. To put it that way.
”Hi,” she said smiling, and her eyes lingered on him a tad longer than strictly necessary before she turned around and brought up her books.
”Hi,” he answered a bit uncertainly and scanned the room. Jonas was going to be late.
He saw Magnus sitting at the back, balancing on his chair and with his earbuds in; they made eye contact and nodded in greeting. Isak just couldn’t stop himself. He nodded discreetly towards the girl beside him and shrugged as if saying ”still got better mojo than you, dude”. Magnus huffed and shook his head smiling. Isak sat back around and looked straight at Jonas.
”Oh! Hey.”
”Hey, man,” replied Jonas, and shot Martine a quick look. Martine? Marte? Marita? Whatever. Isak gave Jonas a look to convey he didn’t understand why she was sitting there. Jonas simply nodded with a small grin.
”What’s up?”
The drawing burned hot in his pocket.
”Nothing much. Ready for tomorrow, huh?”
”So fucking ready. Talked to your roomies? It’s okay we do the drinks at yours?”
”Yeah sure, no sweat. Eskild is taking the girls out, so we have the place to ourselves.”
”Sweet.”
”Are you having a pre-party?”
Jonas and Isak looked at Martine like she had just asked if the moon was green.
”No,” they said in unison, and it seemed like she took the hint. She overdramatically rolled her eyes and went over to some friends, and Jonas took her place. And stared at Isak.
”What?” Isak laughed when Jonas wouldn’t stop.
”Well?”
”Well what?”
Jonas huffed a laugh and took off his beanie to run his fingers through his hair, before looking back at Isak.
”Dude, spit it out. What the hell are you smiling like that for?”
Isak shook his head while smiling, staring at the desk.
”I’m not.”
Jonas rolled his eyes.
”Sure.”
Isak wanted to show Jonas the drawing, but at the same time he didn’t. It almost felt too intimate. Those words were meant for him, and no one else. He was also a little anxious to run Jonas over with all his thoughts. Maybe it would be too much. Maybe Jonas didn’t really want to know so much. After last Friday Isak knew that Jonas still was his absolute best friend, and that he had his back no matter what. But he still felt a bit nervous about actually talking about Even, and all his feelings around whatever it was that they had. Jonas’ reaction when he finally was able to say it was better than what he could have hoped for.
He’s gotta break up with his girlfriend.
He hadn’t told anyone this, but that afternoon when he came home he had gone straight to his room and cried from relief.
”Aiit, you’re secretive. That’s fine,” Jonas sighed while shaking his head slightly. But he was still smiling so he wasn’t irritated. Maybe only a bit exasperated that Isak wouldn’t just open his mouth and spill. Suppose he should tell Jonas something,
”Received a new drawing today.”
Jonas was eyeing him with a huge grin plastered on his face, those big eyebrows shot right up in a second.
”Yeah? Anything good?”
Isak couldn’t look Jonas in the eyes, getting embarrassed. Still couldn’t quite comprehend that Jonas was so relaxed about the whole thing.
”Yes.”
”Yes?? Are you gonna tell me, or what?”
Isak felt his cheeks burning, but Jonas was gentleman enough to ignore it. He mumbled it quickly and coughed loudly before looking back at Jonas.
”Huh?”
Isak rolled his eyes and sighed.
”Hesaidthathemissesme” he rushed it out, and had to turn away not to blush more than he already was.
”Isak, relax. I mean, that’s good right?”
”Yeah, I guess,” Isak coughed and kept staring at the desk.
”Dude, it’s gonna work out!” Jonas chuckled and slapped Isak on the shoulder. ”If he’s making drawings telling you he misses you, he’s probably right around the corner. Probably just needed a little more time than you.”
”Okay, Joe, calm down. No need to belt it out, y’know.”
”Yeah, yeah, sorry. But we’re going to the Elvebakken party tomorrow, then? I bet it’s gonna rock, and there’ll probably be tons of russ chicks there.”
He winked at Isak and added, ”And boys.”
Isak couldn’t help but laugh.
”Funny.”
”No, but seriously. We’ll go, right? Gotta get somebody to sleep with Magnus, I can’t deal with his horny whining anymore.”
”Sure. It’ll be awesome.”
It probably would, but Isak also felt his stomach churn. Elvebakken. Even’s old school. The video of a slightly younger Even flashed through his mind. Telling the camera about his epic love story starring Putin and Captain America. What if some of Even’s old friends were there? The probability was pretty high. Had this thing between them spread all the way over there? They probably knew Sonja if Even had been together with her for over four years. Would there be any beef if he showed up there?
”But uh..was just thinking-” he started but was interrupted by the teacher, who entered to greet the room.
”Alright, people. Weekend’s just around the corner, but first we’re going back to modernism in Norwegian poetry. Rolf Jacobsen is waiting for us on page 241.”
Martine returned and demanded her seat, so Jonas headed back to join Mahdi.
Isak’s phone vibrated in his pocket, and he saw a text from Jonas.
He started typing but noticed Martine staring at him.
”Seriously?” he said in irritation, noticing she tried to read what he wrote.
”What? Is it your boyfriend, or something?” she snickered.
”Lay off. I don’t even fucking know you.”
”Whatever. Everyone knows you’re hot for that guy Even in senior year, and that you’re trying to get him to ditch his girlfriend. It’s lame.”
Isak felt a bit nauseous. How big was this thing? And just how many variations did this story have? He felt a strong urge to sit Emma down for a talk but that wasn’t going to happen. Now that she had gotten the whole school talking about him he would probably just give her more fuel for the fucking bonfire she had started.
”Dunno what the hell you’re talking about.”
She clicked her tongue in irritation and turned her attention back to the teacher.
”Really low of you to use that freshman girl as a beard, too.”
Isak ignored her and answered Jonas. He noticed his pulse started picking up. Going to the Elvebakken party to get drunk around a bunch of seniors who knew Even and Sonja was beginning to seem like a really terrible idea.
”She was telling people the two of you were getting together, you know.”
”Okay, what’s your problem?” Isak said and looked straight at her, and suddenly the whole classroom went quiet.
”Isak, what’s happening?” the teacher asked, having turned towards them.
”Sorry. Nothing.”
He felt himself flush and it only got worse with everybody staring at him. He saw some of the boys leer at him. Now he had probably managed to give everyone more fuel, all on his own. Got slightly dizzy just thinking about what he would hear others say about him during recess.
Isak closed his eyes. What a nightmare. Of course, he felt like shit for the whole mess with Emma, but everything had happened so quickly. He hadn’t even had the time to think about everything that had been said or done. Before he realised Even felt something for him it had been completely out of the question to come out. Come out. Had he really ’come out’ now? Maybe he had. Jonas was a hero. The guys took it well. But Emma had been angry enough to ‘out’ him to the whole school. So the problem was rather what kind of additional stories the rest of Hartvig Nissen were cooking up.
There was no answer from Jonas, so he put the phone down and opened the books. He wouldn’t be able to concentrate enough to understand anything of what Rolf Jacobsen tried to convey with ”Byens metafysikk”. But he could pretend he did.
After a little while, his eyes strayed and he found himself looking out the window, at the November sun and an empty schoolyard. Even missed him. It said so right there on the note, with ink on paper.
I miss you too, he thought to himself and reached his hand into his pocket to feel the folded note. His phone vibrated in his other pocket, and he took it out to see a reply from Jonas.
Isak smiled at his phone and ignored Martine trying to sneak a peek at his screen.
