Chapter Text
The words landed like a slap.
Oscar didn't even know what contorted expression his face did when they were spoken, and he also didn't care to control it. He knew the fans would overanalyze it, but then again, when didn't they? Even if he didn't react, people would still talk.
Whatever happened during the fan stage after that was a complete blur for him, he couldn't focus even if he wanted to, although his mouth still moved to give answers and to make jokes and to interact and to smile and to- yeah.
Throughout all of it Lando’s words kept playing on repeat in his head, over and over again together with the crowd's roar in reaction, until he felt Sophie’s touch on his elbow. Apparently the fan stage had come to an end.
He allowed himself to be guided by his PR manager towards the backstage and tried really hard to stay present, to actually answer when spoken to. However, Sophie seemed to catch exactly what was bothering him, because she was giving him one of those pitying eyes she usually reserved for the days when the media schedule was too brutal and there was nothing she could do to make it easier for him.
His phone vibrated three times non-stop inside his pocket and he picked it out of there just to have something to occupy himself with. It was Logan sending him messages.
Logan:
Dude
What the fuck is wrong with Norris?
You were right there
Oscar snorted. As if his presence meant anything to the brit. Hell, Lando was making plans of changing teammates like Oscar's time at McLaren was already overdue, of course his presence didn't mean anything to him.
Oscar:
Yeah, no shit.
It’s fine though. Guess I needed the shake-up.
It was a lie, obviously. It wasn't fine, he wasn't fine, but he also knew there wasn't much he could do about it. He's liked Lando since before his F1 days and had always wished they could get closer after he got his seat at McLaren, but he would never hold over Lando's head the fact that they didn't match as well as Lando did with Carlos. Or even with Daniel.
Logan:
For what is worth, I really am sorry, Osc
Arthur's saying he doesn't deserve you anyways
And I totally agree with him
You deserve so much better
Oscar:
It sucks, but I’ll live.
Thanks for caring. Both of you.
I miss you.
Logan:
We miss you too
So so so sooo much
He allowed himself a faint smile before reacting to the messages with a heart.
“Osssccc,” the slurred way the nickname was spoken shook him out of his thoughts of his friends and his head snapped towards the sound. Lando was walking in his direction and, honestly, Oscar couldn't do it right now.
So instead of opening the smile he normally would while waiting for him to get closer, he turned around and started walking towards the first person he saw. Alex Albon. Great. Good friend of his, he was. The perfect person to help him escape from a Lando Norris charged conversation.
The driver seemed surprised to see him approach and even quickly glanced towards Lando behind him, having surely heard his name being called by his teammate, but Oscar didn't change his route. Whatever expression Lando’s face was showing in front of the clear dismissal was not a problem of his.
If he wanted so badly to have a chit chat, he could always go to Carlos.
“Hey, Osc!” Despite the surprise, Alex greeted him with a small smile and a hand on his lower back. Their friendship had bloomed since the beginning of the year and Oscar would go as far as to say Alex was one of his closest friends on the grid.
“Hey, Alex!” Oscar's smile was also small, as it always was. “Have you seen Charles?”
And look, Oscar was not a baby, okay? But everyone needed someone comforting every once in a while when things got too hard to be handled alone. His comforting person at work was Charles Leclerc and he was not ashamed of it.
“I- uh- I guess I did see him talking to Lewis just outside of Ferrari’s motorhome.”
“Thank you!”
That was all. He did not wait and he did not stay to make small talk. He needed somewhere safe to finally express himself before exploding in front of the entire paddock. Gosh, he was pathetic, wasn’t he? His teammate couldn’t even make a joke to please the fans that he felt completely affected.
He saw Charles from afar and went straight to where he was still talking to Lewis, catching the attention of both men as he got closer.
“Oscar, hello!” Lewis talked to him first, the little gap between his front teeth as he smiled making Oscar want to cry. Even that reminded him of Lando.
“Hey, Lewis! Can I steal Charles for a bit?” His voice did not come out the way he wanted it to. He was clearly affected by something but hopefully what happened at the fan stage had not spread around yet. Not there at the paddock, at least. The internet was another thing.
God, how could people look at him and say things like “iceman” was totally beyond his comprehension. Was he really that good at deceiving? Inside he felt like that the more he covered up his flaws, the more they appeared, but then things like this would happen and the reality would hit him straight in the face. There was just no way Lando was so oblivious, was there?
“Sure…” Lewis’ eyebrows frowned because Oscar was apparently that easy to read. He didn't even remember they were talking.
Charles guided him inside the hospitality and Oscar was so used to being there that not even the engineers looked at him twice. They ended up in Charles’ driver’s room.
“What happened, mon chéri?” His voice was so soft that Oscar felt like finally breaking.
They fell down on the sofa before Oscar could speak, and Charles’ hand went immediately to his hair. Oscar sighed and tried to relax.
“Was at the fan stage with Lando and the Cadillac drivers and Lando said something about how he's been talking to Carlos about doing a Carlando reunion as teammates,” his voice broke mid sentence and he felt terrible. “I was right there and it was just so- I wasn't prepared at all. I guess after the last 3 years I thought the whole Carlando thing wouldn't bother me anymore. My relationship with Lando has been even better than before, but maybe that was just me being delusional.”
He tried to laugh it off but it came out strange. Hollow. He sounded strangled.
Oscar couldn't see Charles’ face given their positions on the sofa, but the heavy silence was enough of a reaction.
“We were on media duty not even a week ago filming a video in which he said something about us staying together as teammates for the next 15 years or so and I just-,” the tears were finally falling and he felt his chest constrict. God, remembering it hurt. “I don't know why he does it. Is it funny to mess with me? To mess with my head? He can't say something like that and then say he can't wait to be teammates with Carlos again.”
“Oscar, what I can tell you is that Lando is an idiot,” Charles was not careful with his words, even though he was careful with the man in his arms. Oscar could never pinpoint the root of his apparent beef with Lando, but it didn't matter at the moment. Quite the opposite, actually. It made him the perfect person for him to be having this conversation with. “It took a while for him to warm up to you, sure. I can understand that. He was scared of letting another teammate in and then having to see them leave again, as happened with Carlos and Daniel both. What I can't tell you, though, is when the hell he started to take you for granted.”
The words sit heavy on Oscar's chest. Take him for granted, huh?
“I don't think he does,” was his sincere answer after a bit of silence. “Take me for granted, that is. I think he just doesn't care. It would not make a difference for him if I left the team, and if Carlos really came back he would actually be thrilled about it.”
It was painful, but he was not a coward who could not admit what was right in front of him. Charles sighed.
“Come here, mon chéri,” his arms brought Oscar closer until he was completely leaning against the red covered chest of the Ferrari driver. “It shall pass.”
And squeezing his eyes closed real hard, Oscar tried to believe that.
Lando was flabbergasted. He was dumbfounded. Had Oscar really just ignored him? His shock was probably written all over his face as he watched his teammate walk towards Alex, if the look the other brit gave him was anything to go by.
“Sophie!” He tried to call for Oscar's PR manager to ask her if he had any schedule for now, trying desperately to find a justification for the cold shoulder he just received, but all she did was give him the stinkiest side eye and turn her back towards him. Just like her driver did. “What the hell?” He muttered to himself.
From afar, he saw the way Oscar and Alex smiled to each other. The way Alex’s hand rested on Oscar's lower back throughout the entirety of their small conversation. Since when were they so close? Sure, they went out together like twice recently, but that didn't mean anything, right?
Oscar had been around. Lando saw it. Of course he saw it. He was chronically online, and even though Oscar wasn't one to expose his friendships online, he did show to people some bits of his social life sometimes. For all that people liked to call him friendless, he was far from it. He even went out with Jannik Sinner of all people, for fucks sake. Still, it didn't mean he had to be all buddies and touch with any of them.
And he never ignored Lando. For the four years that they've been together, Oscar had always gladly spared him some of his time. His mind still couldn't wrap around the fact that Oscar had heard him, looked him in the eye and then turned around and left.
He sensed more than heard someone getting closer, and soon enough the shape of Checo appeared by his side. They were at the fan stage together, so it was no surprise that the mexican driver was still around.
“Put your foot in your mouth over there, huh?” He said casually, like it was the most obvious thing ever, while grabbing Lando’s shoulder in a consoling way.
“What?” Lando’s head snapped in the direction of the driver beside him. Did everyone in this godforsaken place know something that he didn't?
Checo inspected his face as if checking if he was serious, and then a small, incredulous laugh escaped his mouth.
“Oh, wow. You really have no idea. This should get interesting soon,” he didn't bother to explain. “Just… try not to say something like that in front of a whole crowd while he stands right there too again. Matter of fact, try not to say it again at all. The kid deserves better than that.”
And then he was gone, and Lando was left alone and dumbfounded once again.
As he passed in front of both his and Oscar's garage on his way to the team's motorhome, he found it impossible not to notice the way some of the engineers from Oscar's garage looked at him. They were rivals, sure, but they usually treated him with kindness.
Right now they were looking at him like he was walking around with the plague. No, scratch that. They were looking at him like he himself was the plague.
What the hell had he done wrong?