Archive of Our Own

Chloe Decker sighed as she rubbed her forehead and wondered for the hundredth time where her partner was.  Lucifer was usually very good about sticking around her, especially when they were on a case.  Granted, they had just closed one and he did tend to run away when it was time for “boring paperwork,” but she had just seen him raiding the vending machine not even an hour ago....

Curiosity got the best of her; she got up from her desk to hunt for her easily distracted partner.  She found him at Dan’s desk, of all places, working on the... computer?!

“Lucifer!” she called to him, but he didn’t turn away from the computer.  His eyes never left the screen as he moved his mouse and clicked like a zombie.  He didn’t even turn as she approached.  Looking over his shoulder, she saw he was on a site called, “Archive of our Own,” and was scrolling through the pages.

“What are you looking at?” she asked him, making him jump like a scalded cat.

Turning quickly, he stood and tried to cover the computer screen with his body as he faced her.  “Detective!  W-what are you doing here?”

“I’d like to ask you the same question,” Chloe said, trying to look past him.  Lucifer kept bobbing to stay in front of her.  Finally, she shoved him aside playfully.  “What are you looking at?”

“D-Detective, I can explain --”

Her eyes grew wide as she read the webpage.  “A fanfiction site?”  She turned to Lucifer, a huge, teasing grin on her face.  “Seriously, Lucifer?  A fanfiction site?”

A red hue stained his cheeks.  “Well... yes.”  Her partner suddenly brightened as he resumed his seat on Dan’s chair and pointed to the screen.  “Just look at this, Detective!  Stories!  About me!”

She lifted an eyebrow.  “You?  Lucifer Morningstar?”

“Yes!  Me!  The Devil!” he crowed.

Chloe’s eyebrows shot to the top of her head.  “Seriously?  About... the Devil?”

“Yes!” he said excitedly.  “Stories about me!  It’s very exciting, I assure you!  The things humans write about....”

She just stared at him disbelievingly.  “You’re on a fanfiction site.  Reading about the Devil.”

“Yes!  Me!” he said gleefully.

“You gotta be kidding me.”

“Not at all, Detective.  Here, take a look.”  Lucifer scooted his chair to one side so that she could see better.

“Okay,” she said with a chuckle.  “I am curious....”   Chloe grabbed a nearby chair and pulled it up.  Sinking into it, she waved at the screen.  “Show me.”

The blush on his cheeks grew darker.  “You... you want to see?”  His eyes twinkled with excitement.

“Yes.  Come on, don’t be shy.  I want to see.”

“Ah.  Yes.  Right.”  Lucifer turned to the screen and pulled up the list of stories.  “Well, here’s one about the Devil possessing an angel while making trouble for these two young men as they hunt demons --”  Lucifer broke off and scoffed disdainfully.  “As if I would just leap out of this perfect, splendid body of mine to inhabit a sibling, of all things!  Completely inaccurate!  But imaginative....”

Chloe looked at the story below that one.  “What’s that one?  The Devilish Stakeout?  That seems like it involves police work --”

“Ah... right.”  He turned to her, his face lighting up like the sun breaking through the clouds, and he broke out into a jubilant grin.  “You want to read that one?  Are you sure?  You don’t have to file bloody paperwork, or anything like that?”

She waved him off.  “I can take a break.  What does that say?  ‘Lucifer and the detective go on a stakeout, with sinful results.’  What does that mean?”

Chloe turned to him then, and found his face closer to hers than she expected.  Staring at his bright eyes and engaging smile, it struck her that his enthusiasm was very charming -- and contagious.  Without realizing what she was doing, she found her hand stroking his stubble-lined cheek.  When his eyes widened with surprise, she yanked her hand back as if it had burned her.  Now her cheeks grew red.  What the hell was she doing?!

Trying to get her discomfiture under control, she waved at the screen.  “Come on, open that one up.  I want to see what has you so glued to the screen -- especially if it’s about you and a detective....”

Lucifer couldn’t even sit still.  Smiling widely, with cheeks still a little pink, he clicked on the title, which opened the story up.  “There you are, Detective,” he said proudly with a flourish of his hand.

Chloe squinted at the screen as she started to read.  It wasn’t a long tale, for which she was grateful.  She really didn’t have a lot of spare time, and she wanted to see what had captivated her partner’s attention.  As she read about the blonde female detective, whose name was never mentioned, and Lucifer on a case, it struck her as odd that it paralleled real life, but she shrugged it off.  Surely a coincidence.  She read further.  The two main characters were following a lead, which ended in a stakeout.  While in the car, they talked, and then they kissed.  And kissed.  And then... they were tearing each other’s clothes off and having hot sex in the car.  Hot, passionate sex.  Hot, passionate, graphic sex.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Chloe cried, turning away from the screen as her face burned bright red.  Arousal, hot and bright, flashed through her body, making her squirm in her seat.  If she actually could do that with Lucifer.... Oh my.  She could see them in her mind’s eye, two impassioned lovers entwined in the confines of the car as the windows steamed.  He would be gentle, yet strong and commanding, taking her to heights she had never known as he kissed her everywhere....

Oh god, what the hell was she thinking?!  As her face turned an even deeper red, she pulled up righteous indignation and snapped, “What the hell are you reading, Lucifer?!”

“You don’t like it?"  For a moment disappointment flashed across his face, before his cheeks started reddening again.  “Ah... well....  It’s nice to... indulge in a little... fantasy at times....”

“Well, this story of you working with a detective hits a little too close to home!  Who the hell wrote this?!  Is someone spying on us?” she cried indignantly, then scanned the room suspiciously.

No one caught her attention as being the perpetrator; Chloe realized it would be impossible to find out who had been spying on them and writing erotica.  Besides, it was no secret in the department that Lucifer worked as a civilian consultant with her.  Snatching the mouse away from her partner, she scrolled back up to the top of the page to find out who the author was.  She noted with surprise that the story had actually done quite well, with 154 kudos and 64 comments.  Well, she’d write a comment!  Shoving Lucifer away from the keyboard, she scrolled back down to the bottom and proceeded to write a blistering comment to the author.

“There!  That will show PrinceLuci666 a thing or two!  The nerve of that guy, spying on us and writing porn!”  Standing up, she glared down at her partner.  “Stop reading smut and let’s get back to work!”  She stormed back to her desk.

________________________________________

Lucifer watched Chloe leave, unhappy that the the detective had caught him looking at the fanfiction site, although he wasn’t embarrassed about her reading the story.  Truth be told, he wasn’t just looking -- he was PrinceLuci666, and had posted his innermost desires online.  He had gotten quite a number of good reviews, too!  Well, and a number of bloody nasty ones, as well.  Imagine, someone criticizing his grammar -- him, the Devil!  Who did they think made all of those nasty grammatic rules -- Dad?!  No, it had been him!  Another comment asking why they were on stakeout, and that their protocol was incorrect, infuriated him.   He knew protocol -- bloody hell, he went on stakeouts with the detective quite often!  He had shot back cutting remarks to all of those bloody sods, daring them to even try to write another review to him again!  After all, he figured that if they didn’t like his tale with the detective, they should just choose not to read it.  He had also gotten the odd comment, one being “Pumpkin, man....pumpkin.”  He couldn’t understand that one.  What did a pumpkin have to do with anything?  There wasn’t even a pumpkin in the story!

Oh well.  Not that it mattered.  He had truly enjoyed the thrill of posting his deepest desires for everyone to see.  For the most part, the readers enjoyed his explicit fantasies... even the detective, although she would never admit it.  He had seen the telltale shifting in her chair as she had read his work, saw her blush rise with arousal.  Perhaps, one day, she would be open to... reenacting the scenario...?

That brought a chuckle to his lips.  His lovely, proper, no-nonsense detective, wrapped around him and kissing him with ardor on a stakeout?  Although it would never happen, the thought thrilled him, making him burn with passion.  Oh, that would be the day!  He could only wish.

Of course, she would not appreciate him posting all of his fantasies of her online....  If she ever found out who PrinceLuci666 really was, he was sure there would be hell to pay!

Oooh, and what would that entail?  A little bondage, perhaps?

Smiling like an overexcited loon, Lucifer began writing his latest fanfic....