Work Text:
The prank war started with a glitterbomb.
No one was quite sure whether Anders glitterbombed Sebastian first or if it was the other way around. But it definitely started when all the Christmas freight started rolling into the store and there was glitter everywhere and a shift would usually end with either Anders or Sebastian dunking a box of loose glitter over the other’s head.
Oh, it was all in good humor.
Maybe.
Because as the days went on the pranks got a little more… personal. And that’s when Anders, well…
…you’ll need to hear the full story.
---
“So,” said Fenris as they were walking back to their car after work one day. “How long is this… glitter war of yours going to last?”
Anders was brushing golden glitter off his shoulders and shirt, although that did nothing for all the bits that were in his hair. “What, you don’t like it? You don’t think it enhances my natural charm?” He had found out a few days earlier that Fenris liked him, and although they were both currently in a sort of awkward stasis where neither one was willing to bring it up, Anders was thoroughly enjoying toeing the line.
“I’d prefer enhancements to your natural charm if they weren’t going to get all over the carpet,” Fenris replied.
“Don’t worry,” said Anders. “I’ll get him back.”
“That does little to reassure me. Or clean the carpet.”
“No, but it does reassure me.”
They got to the car and looked at each other a bit awkwardly for a few seconds. Awkward moments like that had happened a lot over the past couple of days. Anders smiled at Fenris. He had glitter in his hair.
Fenris decided that this man would be the death of him.
---
As Anders had promised, Sebastian got what was coming to him the following day when he dumped a box of pink glitter all over him.
And the day after that, Sebastian got him back by tipping a shoebox full of glitter down the back of Anders’ shirt.
The day after that, the entire early morning logistics team had a talking to by Aveline, who was one of the store’s managers. She told them that the glitterbomb epidemic was going to have to stop posthaste or there would be repercussions.
And as nobody was willing to find out what those repercussions were, the glitterbombing stopped. Anders and Sebastian even had a (mostly) polite talk about how they’d have to make truce.
Anders, of course, was well aware of how smug Sebastian had been during that particular conversation. He had, after all, gotten the last glitterbomb in.
And Anders wasn’t about to let him win.
Which is why the next morning Sebastian found Skittles mixed into the M&Ms trail mix he’d left in his locker.
And the day after that, Anders found his locker glued shut.
The day after that, Garrett sequestered them in his office and told them that even though he and Marian found all of this incredibly hilarious (and he made absolutely certain to point out that they did, in fact, love every minute of the prank war), they were going to have to stop or Aveline would find out again and the threat of repercussions that she had promised would become very real and no one wanted that.
Sebastian was okay with this. And he was smug about it, again. Because he had won, again.
The two of them had break afterwards. The rest of the team had already had theirs, but since Anders and Sebastian had been held up they were allowed to take a late break. So it was just them, alone in the breakroom, and Anders was moody as he sat at a table and ate some vending machine peanuts. Sebastian was a couple of tables away, working on a fancy three-dimensional puzzle of a Chantry. The breakroom had a couple of puzzles in it which most of the employees ignored, but Sebastian had really been getting into this one over the last couple of days. Probably because it’s a fucking Chantry, Anders thought.
“Well,” Sebastian said as worked on his puzzle, “I guess our little prank war is over.”
“Guess so,” said Anders.
“It was fun, though,” said Sebastian. “Oh, while I’ve got you here, I've got a question. And I hope you’ll forgive me for prying, but… are you and Fenris…?”
“Are we… what?” said Anders, even though he knew full well what Sebastian was asking. “Are we roommates? Are we going to get drunk tonight? Are we going to lick a lamppost in winter? Are we…”
“Together,” said Sebastian.
Even Anders didn’t know the answer to that question at that point. “That’s, uh, personal,” he said.
“Fair enough,” said Sebastian. “I’m glad you guys can stand each other.”
What was that supposed to mean? Was it a joke? Was it all in good fun? Anders could never tell with Sebastian.
So Anders didn’t say anything, and Sebastian didn’t say anything, and eventually Sebastian left the breakroom and Anders was all alone.
He was still bitter, though. At Sebastian’s smugass smile and smugass accent and smugass joke directed at him and Fenris.
He stared at the Chantry puzzle for a few minutes. Its existence was pissing him off.
So he got up, walked over, and backhanded it, sending pieces flying all over the floor.
He felt better.
---
It would be an understatement to say things got a little tense after their shift was over.
Sebastian demanded to know who did it, and Anders rather proudly claimed responsibility, and the resulting verbal sparring probably would’ve ended in a shouting match if Fenris hadn’t practically dragged Anders outside of the building. They didn’t say much on the drive home, but as soon as they were in their apartment things got a little heated. “So, what, are you mad at me now too?” Anders asked.
“I’m not mad,” Fenris said flatly.
“Well, good. Because some people sure do get touchy about a fucking puzzle that you can do in like a fucking half an hour.”
Fenris sighed and put his hands on the counter. He wasn’t looking at Anders. “Why do you have to be so difficult?”
“Difficult?” Anders was standing behind him.
“Would it really have been so hard to just, I don’t know— let it go? Stop with the juvenile pranks a little while ago?” Fenris was still keeping his voice even, but there was an edge there.
“Do you even know why I knocked down his stupid puzzle in the first place? I wasn’t just being petty. He was asking about us.”
“Us?”
“Yes. Us. You know, that thing that we aren’t talking about? Which, actually, maybe we should be talking about?” He didn’t get a response, so he stepped closer until he was practically hovering over Fenris, who still had his back to him. “Are you listen—”
And that’s when Fenris whirled around and shoved him up against the wall and Anders let out a little gasp of shock before Fenris kissed him, hard, and for a few fleeting seconds Anders felt disoriented about the fact that Fenris had somehow figured out how to tower over him despite being shorter than he, but he accepted it, ohhh he accepted it and responded in kind, gasping for breath and digging his fingers into Fenris' back before Fenris pulled away and looked at him. His eyes were a dark, dark green. “Does that count as talking about it?” he growled.
Anders was out of breath. “I don’t know, we might have to try again to be sure,” he breathed.
“You’re insufferable,” said Fenris. His face was inches away from Anders’.
“Really? Because I think you’ve got something digging into my thigh that rather likes me,” said Anders.
And that’s when Fenris pulled away from Anders and headed towards the door.
“Wait, where are you going?” Anders asked.
“I need some air. I’ll be back.” Fenris grabbed his coat— the one that had once been Anders’— off its hook and went outside.
---
Anders lasted about five minutes alone before he went outside too.
Fenris was standing at the edge of the apartment building looking out into the courtyard at nothing in particular. He was wrapped up in the coat that Anders had given him. Anders walked up behind him. “Fenris?” he asked.
Fenris moved a bit, so Anders knew he’d heard him, but he didn’t say anything.
“Fenris,” Anders said again. “The reason I got upset with Sebastian is because… well… I mean, he can insult me all he wants. I’m an asshole and I already know I am. That's nothing new. But I wasn’t sure if… I wasn’t sure if maybe he was insulting you too. And that’s not something you deserve.”
Fenris looked down. He still wasn’t saying anything.
And a few moments passed and Anders walked up behind him and put his arms around him. He nuzzled his nose into Fenris’ neck and breathed him in. They were quiet, for a moment, and then Anders said, “So. How far down do these tattoos of yours go?”
And Fenris relaxed into his arms. “Want to find out?”
“Mmm, let me think,” Anders hummed. “Yes.”