Chapter Text
Most days, Cas knew that being a father was one of the best things that ever happened to him; he truly did. Having a child in his life was extraordinary, and he wouldn't do anything to change that. However, it was moments like these where he wondered if it was possible for him to get a refund for his troubles. If he could return Ellie back to wherever hyper four year olds came from so he could finally have some peace.
"Daddy, come on!" she cried over the racket of the crowd. "Santaland is gonna open in five minutes."
Her little hand was in held tight in his because he knew that should he let go for a second, she'd take off immediately. Ellie pulled hard, trying to run ahead of all the people so they could get to the front of the line. She somehow managed to weave through the clumps of people with her chubby legs. Castiel was having a hard time keeping up with a toddler hyped up on pancakes with extra syrup.
"Honeybee, you know how hard it is for me to keep up in my old age," he joked. "Slow down."
Ellie stopped dead to look him in the eye with all the seriousness in the world. "Daddy, you're 26. Keep up."
With that, she started rushing again, and Castiel stumbled. Since when did his daughter have such sass? He dreaded to think how much more intense it would get as she got older.
****
They managed to get there a few minutes after the attraction opened, but there was still a massive line waiting for them. People fought to enter the roped area while workers dressed in red and green tried to keep them under control. Castiel sucked in his cheeks as his daughter cried out in dismay. Ellie's lip started to quiver and he went to reassure her before any waterworks could begin.
"Ellie, relax," he cooed, scooping her into his arms. "We'll get to see Santa, no matter what."
"Promise?"
"Cross my heart," he smiled.
He followed the flow of traffic to the entrance and joined the line, smiling awkwardly as employees wished him a merry Christmas. Ellie perked up as she soaked in her surroundings, eyes bright and a smile lighting up her features. Castiel's annoyance almost completely disappeared at seeing his daughter look so joyous.
"Daddy, look!" she giggled, pointing at the decorations.
The wall looked like the exterior of a cartoon train with loud colors. Castiel couldn't spare much time to observe it because he was walking, but he noticed the windows had little scenes inside of them. Ellie was delighted by them.
He was able to step through the line quick enough at first, red ropes guiding him where he had to go. At one point Ellie kicked until he put her down so she could go up and read a few of the letters on the walls. Unfortunately, this plan proved somewhat pointless once Ellie remembered she could not read well. Castiel agreed to help her sound out the words when they stopped for brief periods.
They both breathed a sigh of relief once they saw the line flowed into the fake train, which would take them into a large room afterward. He read up online how long the lien generally moved, and he'd found out just how many rooms there were before they go to see Santa. Castiel knew there was only more waiting to be done once they stepped inside the "train," but he focused on the fact that they were much closer to seeing Santa now than they were five minutes ago. As they passed by the windows Ellie had pointed out before, Castiel realized he didn't recognize what movie the scenes were from.
They stopped once more right outside the entrance of the train, where they were so close to being inside the freaking place it was frustrating. He knew if he let slip any complaint, it would only encourage Ellie to do the same--only worse.
"Is this your first time seeing Santa?" a deep voice asked from behind him.
Castiel whipped around to see Ellie standing in front of a (really hot, holy good God) man dressed in an elf costume. He had a warm smile on his face, lips pulled back to reveal perfect teeth. Castiel was physically taken aback by how stunning he was, but he tried to recover so he didn't make an idiot out of himself.
"No," Ellie shook her head, then paused. "Well, it's the first time I'm seeing the real Santa. I've seen fake ones all the time collecting for charity."
"First time, eh? Are your parents doing anything special to celebrate this special occasion?"
Ellie shrugged. "My daddy said we're going to see the Christmas tree, but I think we were gonna do that anyway."
The man feigned horror. "You're seeing the Santa for the first time and you're not doing anything to mark the occasion? I've gotta talk to this guy. Mind showing me where your dad is?"
Ellie nodded and pointed, which Castiel absently thought about chastising her for, but why do that when the handsome man was looking at him? Not just looking at him, but possibly even checking him out. Castiel blushed and ducked, but he regained his composure.
"Sir, this young lady tells me that this is her first time seeing Santa Claus and you're not doing anything to commemorate this event. Is this true?" the man asked, giving a wink.
"Yes, it's true," Castiel played along. "Is there something wrong with this?"
"Is there something--of course there's something wrong with this! This is a right of passage, a transition from being a baby to a young girl. Sir, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you're going to have to step up your game here."
Ellie giggled at the theatrics, and Castiel gave her a brief fond look.
"I suppose you're right," Castiel said and bent down to his daughter's level. "Ellie, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for this terrible crime. Can I make it up to you, say, with a trip to that candy store? Dylan's-something-or-another."
"Deal," Ellie nodded, beaming at the man and her father. "And it's Dylan's Candy Bar, Daddy."
"Awesome!" the man exclaimed, giving her a high five. "Ellie, is it? Is that short for something?"
"Eloise. E-L-O-I-S-E."
"Like Eloise at the Plaza, right? Man, my cousin Jo used to secretly love that book."
"Ellie's mother was a fan of it, too. You were correct in guessing her namesake," Castiel supplied.
Castiel couldn't be sure, but he thought the man looked almost disappointed at this piece of information. He immediately wished he could remedy it, but Castiel didn't know how to tell him that Ellie's mother had never really been in the picture without seeming like he was oversharing. Instead, he cleared his throat and looked at the time on his watch, eyes widening at what he saw.
"We've been standing here for almost ten minutes. Shouldn't this line be moving at least a little?" Castiel asked.
The man frowned. "You're right. I'm just gonna go check on a few things. If you'll excuse me."
"I like Dean," Ellie commented as the man went to go find one of his coworkers. "He's really funny."
"How do you know his name is Dean?"
"He told me."
Dean. Putting a name to the gorgeous face was nice. It suited him nicely, Castiel thought.
"I like Dean, too," Castiel said, more to himself than to anyone else.
****
Dean came back ten minutes later, his face grim. It contrasted the cheery nature of his costume and what it represented. Castiel feared the worst.
"Should I be concerned?" He inquired once Dean put himself back in the front of the fake train.
"They're having some weird system crash. None of the photos are processing or something, so therefore no one can buy any of their pictures until it's fixed," Dean informed. "Sorry to say that you're stuck here until it's fixed. Unless you're going to leave?"
No! Castiel thought, staring at Dean.
"No!" Ellie shouted. "Daddy said we're going to see Santa. I wanna see Santa!"
Castiel could hear her voice start to waver, and when he looked over he noticed her eyes were beginning to water as well. Hurriedly he went to console her to prevent the temper tantrum he knew would be making an appearance soon.
"Honeybee, I did promise you we would see Santa, but if you throw a tantrum, I'm afraid the promise becomes void, " he said, scooping her into his arms.
Ellie sniffed, eyebrows furrowing. "What does void mean?"
"It means the promise doesn't hold anymore, and we have to go home. Do you promise to be on your best behavior?"
"I promise," Ellie said, even though tears still threatened to spill over.
He tickled under her armpit, which resulted in Ellie squealing and trying to get away. He didn't relent until he was satisfied there was no more danger of her throwing a fit. She gasped and pleaded for him to stop, and Castiel obeyed and put her back on the floor.
"We're staying," Ellie told Dean, like he needed further confirmation.
"Awesome!" Dean grinned.
Castiel smiled at the sight of the man beaming at his daughter. It made his chest lighten and his stomach fill with butterflies. When Dean caught his eye, the beautiful expression still on his face, Castiel blushed and had to avert his gaze.
"Well, since we're all stuck here, why don't we find some way to entertain ourselves?" Dean clapped his hands. "Just give me a sec."
He went back to rummage in a box. Ellie leaned against the rope, excited to see what Dean was looking for. When he apparently found what he was looking for, he smiled brightly and stood up.
"Wanna join me in coloring some of these pages?" he asked Ellie.
"Yes, please," Ellie replied, because Castiel made sure she knew her manners.
She flipped through the book. When she found one she was satisfied with, Ellie ripped it out as delicately as she could manage. Dean handed her a box of crayons and took the book from her so he could choose his own picture. When he was finished, he raised an eyebrow at Castiel and nudged the coloring book in his direction.
"No, thank you," Castiel said politely. "I haven't colored anything in years."
"Come on, man," Dean urged. "You're never too old to color!"
"It's true, Daddy," Ellie said matter-of-factly.
Castiel gave her forehead a quick kiss. "It's fine, Ellie. I'm perfectly content watching you."
"Your daddy's loss," Dean shrugged.
They all sat down, Castiel and Ellie leaning against the wall. Castiel spoke the truth: he enjoyed watching his daughter try to color neatly in between the lines. Her eyebrows furrowed and her tongue poked out a little as she concentrated. Castiel wished he could take a picture.
As the man--Dean-- and Ellie colored, Cas took the time to really observe him. He was tan, almost golden--unusual for someone staying in New York for the winter. His skin tone made his many, many freckles stand out even more on his cheeks and nose. When he interacted with Ellie, he conversed with ease and looked like he took her words seriously. Despite only meeting Dean twenty minutes before, Castiel knew he was enamored.
"So, I never really caught your name," Dean said, still looking at his page.
"Castiel," he replied.
"Dean," Dean told him, and Castiel didn't tell him that he knew. "Pleasure to meet ya, Castiel."
"I assure you, the pleasure is all mine."
They both made eye contact then. Castiel felt his cheeks flush, but he just could not look away (and he thought this was where the word "cliché" would come in). He could see Dean's face turn a deep pink. Was that a good thing? Castiel hoped it was a good thing.
"W-Why do you have a coloring book on hand? Do things like this happen a lot?"
"Eh," Dean shrugged. "Not really. I've worked here long enough to know to always be prepared, though. Not everyone's kids can be as nice and patient as yours."
Castiel snorted. "Ellie is not a patient girl. You must have some kind of effect on her because she is, in fact, very impatient."
"Da-ad!" Ellie whined. "Don't be emba-embar- ugh!"
"Embarrassing?" Castiel supplied. "I'm just telling the truth, Honeybee. Have you thanked Dean for the coloring page?"
"Thank you, Dean," Ellie said politely, still glowering at Castiel.
"No problem, sweetheart," Dean said with a lopsided grin. "And don't worry; I'm sure your dad is just being a meany."
"I take offense to that," Castiel said, eyebrows furrowed. "Are you trying to put Ellie against her own father? I've already promised to take her for candy."
Dean surrendered, hands up in the air. Ellie asked Dean for a color her box was missing, and once he gladly handed it over, they all fell silent. Castiel listened to the sounds around him: a few children wailing, parents desperately trying to shut them up, workers frantically assuring everyone the line would be moving very soon.
"Is that true?"
"Hm?"
"Is the line really going to be moving faster?"
Dean shrugged. "No one really knows. We just say that so people stop asking the same questions over and over."
"Ah."
Castiel drummed his fingers against his legs, trying to think up a new topic of conversation. He didn't want to stop talking Dean. He found to man extremely pleasant to speak with (and, well, look at), and Castiel didn't want to let this opportunity to learn more about Dean go to waste. As Ellie stuck her tongue out in concentration, he said:
"Do you live in the city?"
Dean raised an eyebrow at him, and for a few seconds Castiel berated himself. Of course Dean lived in the city! He worked here. Dean probably thought he was a complete moron-
"Actually, no," Dean said, surprising and relieving Castiel in a confusing rush. "Born and raised in Kansas myself. My brother lives here with his wife because she's working towards getting her PhD in Classics over at freaking Columbia. I come up here every year to work Santaland while I visit them."
"Must be nice to have a job that lets you take off for such a long time," Castiel said, then winced. "Please don't take that unkindly."
"Nah, you're cool. And I guess that's just one of the perks of being a writer," Dean shrugged. "You get to work your own hours."
Castiel perked up in interest. "You write? May I inquire what about?"
"Mostly just small poems and short stories now, but I have written a few novels. Mystery shit--I mean, stuff."
Castiel grinned. "I must say, I'm more of nonfiction person, but if you were to tell me the titles..."
Dean chuckled, flipping his coloring page over. "Oh no, I am not telling you jack, man. It's bad enough my family reads them, but a cute stranger? No way."
Castiel felt his entire face light up like a Christmas tree (no holiday-related pun intended), and he could see the moment Dean realized what he said. The men both looked down at the floor, flustered, Ellie still coloring on the floor. Castiel scratched at his wrist, plucking up some courage while fighting a smile.
"You think I'm cute?" Castiel muttered.
"Well, um--I, you see," Dean stuttered, hands flailing about as he tried to recount. Eventually, he gave up and morphed his lost expression into a small smirk. "Have you seen you?"
Castiel lost his battle, and his face bloomed into a full smile. Dean reciprocated the grin, teeth glinting in the light and eyes crinkling. Before they could stare (into each other's souls, honestly) for too long, Ellie walked over to her father and tugged on his hand. Castiel actually jolted from some sort of trance and bent down to his daughter's level.
"Daddy, I made this for you," Ellie said, handing over her colored picture; it was folded in half.
"Thank you, Honeybee," Castiel replied with sincerity, taking her offering. "You know I love your creations."
He stood back up, pocketing the paper in the side of his trenchcoat. He lifted Ellie up to his side once more, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Castiel thought that had to be crashing, her large amounts of sugar from her breakfast probably leaving her system. He gave her a little shake and kissed her cheek.
"C'mon, Ellie, we're gonna meet Santa soon," Castiel whispered. "You wanna be awake for that."
"She crashin'?" Dean asked. "Here, maybe a little bit of sugar will give her a jolt."
Castiel wanted to tell him that she had plenty of sugar that morning, but then Ellie perked up and snatched the candy cane before he could speak a word. Castiel gave her a look, but her only response was an innocent look as she bit the plastic wrapping off. He shook his head, but decided not to scold her.
There were a few minutes of silence; they weren't necessarily awkward, but Castiel found that he could not look at Dean. He thought once more of his words and his cheeks heated, so he hid his face in his daughter's curly hair. Ellie continued eating her candy, not noticing what was transpiring between her father and the man dressed as an elf.
"So, Cas..." Dean trailed off, rubbing the back of is neck. "I was just wondering--"
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we thank you for your patience. Santa's elves have solved the problem, and the line can begin moving once again," said a lady elf into a megaphone.
There was a dull cheer from worn-down parents and cranky children alike at the news. Castiel looked at his watch and was shocked to discover they had been waiting nearly 40 minutes for the system to be fixed. Dean looked equally surprised at the news when Castiel relayed it to him.
"Well, I guess that means you two are on your way to meet Kris Kringle himself!" Dean exclaimed, not sounding as excited as he looked. "Lucky you."
"Yeah, lucky us," Castiel responded, hoping he didn't sound as glum as he felt.
He wanted to say more to Dean, maybe make some sort of move, but he found himself speechless. They stared at each other, each one just about to teeter into saying something but too nervous to actually do so. Castiel felt actual sadness because he had to leave Dean, a man he had not even known for an hour. Was it odd to hope Dean felt the same despair?
"Hey, buddy, the line is moving."
Castiel jerked his head to the right to see a pissed-off father with twins in his arms. This was the cold bucket of reality that he needed; Dean was a stranger. A beautiful stranger, but a stranger nonetheless; nothing would come of Castiel's crush. He told Ellie to say goodbye to Dean, and she gave him a slow wave with the candy cane still in her mouth.
"Thank you, Dean," Castiel said. "You have been wonderful."
And with that, Castiel turned around and walked into the train.
****
The pair had to wait another half and hour before they got to meet Santa, and it was a nightmare. Ellie's sugar crash made her grumpy, and Castiel knew it was only a matter of time before she finally had a meltdown. He also was in a sour mood, and his daughter's behavior was only making it worse.
"Eloise, I already told you that I would take you off this line if you didn't behave. I don't care how close we are."
"No, Daddy, no," Ellie said, stomping her foot. "I want to see Santa."
Castiel felt his anger rise, and he had to take deep breaths to stop himself from yelling at her. Just as he was about to speak again, a finger tapped Castiel's shoulder, making him turn around.
"Sir?" asked a redheaded elf. "Are you two ready to meet Santa?"
Castiel blinked in confusion, for they were nowhere close to the front of the line. He opened his mouth to ask the elf why they were being singled out to skip the line but shut it at the mischievous look she gave him. Castiel decided it was better not to question his good fortune, and with a sigh, Castiel nodded and gestured for the elf to lead the way. Before he started walking, however, Castiel grabbed Ellie's hand because she was flighty when she was mad, and he would not have her running off ahead of him.
"Daddy," she whined, but knew better than to finish her complaint.
At long last, the Novak pair reached the stall where a Santa was waiting inside. Castiel thought he was going to cry with relief the moment he saw the man through the stall's entrance, and at Ellie's insistent tugging, he let go of her hand. The girl sprinted ahead and into the Santa's open arms, and he chuckled with delight as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Excuse me," Castiel said to the elf who led them there, "but why did you pick us to cut in front of everyone? Ellie wasn't creating a fuss."
"Let's just say, a certain elf took a shining to you," responded the elf with a wink before she turned to the camera.
"Dean?" he asked after a pause, but the elf only offered up a smile.
In a blur, the picture was taken, and the two were sent out of the stall with a pin each. Ellie's mood had significantly improved now that their goal for the day was complete, and she rambled on about how happy she was to finally meet the "real Santa." Castiel was feeling much better as well, but it had more to do with one of Santa's helpers than Kris Kringle himself.
The two were escorted to another line to pick up the picture. This one was longer than Castiel would have liked, but he and his daughter passed the time by planning out the rest of their day in the city. Ellie was still stuck on the candy store idea, and though Castiel knew that more sugar was just a recipe for disaster, he reluctantly agreed. Just as Ellie started explaining another one of her ideas for the day, Castiel was at the front of the line and he went to the available register.
Before Castiel could get a word in, the woman in charge of the register asked, "Are you Castiel?"
Taken aback, he stuttered out, "Um, y-yes?"
She grinned. "Perfect, just give me one second."
In a flash, she crouched down, and despite not wanting to be rude, Castiel peered over the counter to see what on earth the woman was doing. However, he only caught a glimpse of her enormous green hat and two open cabinet doors. Catiel drummed his fingers against his leg as he waited for the elf to finish whatever she was doing.
"Thanks for waiting," she rushed as she popped back up. "Here's your photo, free of charge."
Castiel almost dropped the picture in surprise as it was shoved at him. "Free of charge?"
"Well, technically, it cost a pretty penny. Let's just say, a certain elf took a shining to you."
"Strange," Castiel said. "Another elf told me that--"
"Next in line!" the woman shouted over him.
Castiel wasn't exactly the best with social cues, but he could understand when he was being dismissed. With a huff, he grabbed Ellie's hand and dragged her away from the suffocating crowd and into a clothing department. Ellie ripped the photo from his hand, but Castiel said nothing as he mulled over the morning's events. He believed meeting Dean would be a one-time stroke of luck, but it appeared he was not the only one struck by the encounter. Castiel wanted to ponder the situation more, but his daughter tugging on his sleeve interrupted his thoughts.
"Daddy, this is for you," she said, handing him a slip of paper.
Castiel--
If you need anyone to show you around the city, I can personally arrange for one of Santa's elves to be your guide. Give me a call (you know, if you want).
555-342-9935
--Dean
Castiel read the note once, twice, three times and could not fucking believe his luck. There was no way that this was reality, but when he pinched himself, Castiel was still in the same spot holding the note. He read it over once more just to be sure, then wondered why the hell he wasn't plugging the number into his phone already. Castiel fumbled with the device until he got to his contacts app, but just as was about to start typing Dean's contact information, Ellie decided she was done staring at her picture.
"Daddy, I'm hungry," she said, handing him the picture once more.
Castiel sighed, but pocketed his phone. "Honeybee, you just ate breakfast a few hours ago. A big breakfast, I might add."
"But I want a second breakfast," Ellie suggested, batting her eyelashes. "I had pancakes, but no waffles."
Castiel liked to consider himself a parent with good discipline, but even he had his weak moments. His daughter was all dolled up thanks to his sister, hands folded like a prayer and eyes pleading. He didn't think God himself could say no to Ellie, not that he would voice such a blasphemous thought out loud.
"Fine," he conceded, "but you are getting a side of fruit with your waffles. And not a lot of syrup!"
"But Daddy," Ellie whined, "waffles are good with a lot of sywup."
"Syrup," Castiel corrected, scooping her up. "And you reached your syrup limit with your pancakes."
"Aw, Daddy."
Herald Square was incredibly hectic, but Castiel had learned to expect the frantic holiday shoppers after a few visits to his sister. He weaved through the crowds while clutching Ellie tightly, all while she chatted animatedly about how she still couldn't believe she met Santa Clause. Castiel didn't put her on the ground until they reached a small cafe that looked clean and empty. They were quickly seated, and once Castiel plopped down in his seat, he realized just how tired he was. New York always exhausted him; he'd say that was the reason he didn't visit Anna as much as he should, but that would be a lie.
"Sir? Are you ready to order?"
The pair ate their second breakfast in near silence, and Castiel thought that Ellie was just as tired as he was. That's why he made the executive decision to end their tourist trip for the day and return to his sister's apartment. Ellie tried to put up a fight, but her yawns interrupted her argument and eventually just gave up. Castiel paid the bill, picked her back up, and ventured into the chilled air and tourist-filled sidewalks.
****
"I take it you too had fun," was what Anna said when she opened the door.
Ellie was asleep on his shoulder and probably drooling on his expensive coat, but Castiel was too tuckered out to care. He didn't answer his sister, just dragged himself in and threw himself on the couch with his daughter on top of him. Castiel was all ready for sleep to take him, eyelids closed and breathing even, but what Anna said almost had him throwing Ellie off of him in panic.
"Who's Dean, and why does he want you to call him?" Anna asked, a teasing lilt in her voice.
Castiel shot up from the couch. He paused for a moment to put Ellie back down, but then he went to grab the note out of Anna's hands. The paper probably fell from his coat while he was entering the apartment. If he was honest, he had completely forgotten about Dean's note in his exhaustion, but now all he wanted to down was grab it out of her hands. He demanded it back, but Anna just grinned and took off.
"Anna, give it back!" he said, giving chase.
"Not until you tell me who this Dean is!" Anna laughed. "Is he your secret lover?"
"Don't be ridiculous. You'll wake up Ellie!"
"Castiel's got a boyfriend!" she sang, dodging his hands. "Castiel's got a boyfriend!"
"Anna, I'm serious," Castiel said sternly, getting incredibly frustrated with his sister's antics.
"So am I," she shot back. "You'll get your note back once you let me in on the gossip."
"Anna, just give me the note-"
"Cas and Dean, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-"
"If you don't hand it over right now-"
"I-N-G, first comes love, then comes-"
"Anael!"
Anna stopped short, mouth frozen open with shock. Castiel wanted to slap his hands over his own mouth, but the damage was done, and he just wanted the note back. Without a word, Anna handed over the slip of paper over to him and retreated to her room. He wished he had the courage to apologize, but Castiel was never good at that.
"Daddy?" Ellie asked, voice groggy. "What's happening?"
"Nothing, Honeybee, go back to sleep," Castiel whispered, grabbing a blanket and draping it over her. Ellie went back to sleep without a fuss.
Castiel looked to his sister's closed door, but he decided it was best not to disturb her. Instead, he shifted his attention back to the paper that had caused his lashing out in the first place. It was much more crumpled and little torn now, but Castiel didn't mind because he could still read all of the words without trouble. He ghosted a hand the phone in his pocket, wondering if he should make the leap and contact Dean. If Dean didn't want to be contacted, he thought, then he wouldn't have given Castiel his number in the first place.
Right?
Right, Castiel told himself, whipping his phone out. He quickly created the new contact and opened the text message app before he could second-guess himself. His finger hovered over the send button for a moment, but Castiel pressed down and closed his eyes.
<< Is this Dean?
A few minutes passed. Castiel turned his cell phone over and over in his hand, wondering if he had made the right decision in reaching out to Dean. Maybe there was a window when he was supposed to call Dean, and it passed. Maybe Dean had given him a home phone number and couldn't receive the text. Maybe Dean didn't want-
>> I am only if this is Castiel.
<< This is Castiel.
>> Hi Cas
<< Hello, Dean.