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1. I love your smile.
2. I love your laughter.
3. I love your energy.
4. I love your kindness.
5. I love your warmth.
6. I love your generosity.
7. I love your optimism.
8. I love your confidence.
9. I love your sincerity.
10. I love your light.
11. I love the way you never hesitate to help others.
12. I love the way you treat everyone like they matter.
13. I love the way you forgive too easily.
14. I love the way you trust too quickly.
15. I love the way you believe in people.
16. I love the way you refuse to hate.
17. I love the way you laugh even when you shouldn’t.
18. I love the way you cry when others suffer.
19. I love the way you make strangers feel like friends.
20. I love the way you shine without trying.
21. I love the wind you control.
22. I love the way you make storms feel gentle.
23. I love the way you dance through danger without realizing it.
24. I love the way you survive by being yourself.
25. I love your carefree spirit.
26. I love your elegance when you try not to show it.
27. I love your awkward honesty.
28. I love your stubborn refusal to be serious.
29. I love your soft heart.
30. I love your loud joy.
31. I love the god everyone adores.
32. I love the man no one takes seriously enough.
33. I love the twin of wealth and fortune.
34. I love the wind master who never looked down on me.
35. I love your ridiculous jokes.
36. I love your dramatic reactions.
37. I love the way you cling to life.
38. I love the way you cling to people.
39. I love the way you never let silence last too long.
40. I love the way you fill emptiness.
41. I love your hands when they guide the wind.
42. I love your voice when you call my name.
43. I love your eyes when you’re excited.
44. I love your smile when you think you’ve won.
45. I love your tears when you care too much.
46. I love your fear when you pretend you have none.
47. I love your bravery when you don’t notice it.
48. I love your softness when you think you’re being strong.
49. I love your kindness when no one is watching.
50. I love your presence when everything feels lighter.
51. I love the way you once treated me like a friend.
52. I love the way you never judged me.
53. I love the way you trusted me blindly.
54. I love the way you stayed by my side.
55. I love the way you talked to me like I was normal.
56. I love the way you made me feel human.
57. I love the way you never feared me.
58. I love the way you smiled at me like I belonged.
59. I love the way you shared everything without thinking twice.
60. I love the way you gave without asking.
61. I love every memory that still hurts.
62. I love every moment I almost forgot.
63. I love every laugh we shared before I learned the truth.
64. I love every time you called me your friend.
65. I love every time you believed in me.
66. I love every time you stood beside me.
67. I love every time you made me feel seen.
68. I love every time you made me feel safe.
69. I love every time you made me feel like I could stay.
70. I love every time I almost believed I deserved you.
71. I love your blindness to cruelty.
72. I love your refusal to notice darkness.
73. I love your light that never learned to fade.
74. I love your innocence.
75. I love your purity of heart.
76. I love your foolish hope.
77. I love your endless mercy.
78. I love your impossible forgiveness.
79. I love your bright future.
80. I love your fragile existence.
81. I love that you never saw what I was becoming.
82. I love that you never stopped smiling at me.
83. I love that you never feared the truth.
84. I love that you never hated me first.
85. I love that you never understood what I would do.
86. I love that you never had to.
87. I love that you were always too good for it.
88. I love that you stayed kind in every version of my memory.
89. I love that you still feel like wind.
90. I love that you still feel like freedom.
91. I love the god of fortune you were born to be.
92. I love the brother you love so dearly.
93. I love the world that loves you back.
94. I love the life you still deserve.
95. I love the happiness you chase.
96. I love the peace you believe in.
97. I love the future you don’t know I’ve already ruined.
98. I love the distance between what we were and what we are.
99. I love you more than I should ever admit.
100. I love you more than vengeance ever stopped me from loving you.
But there is one reason I can’t have you.
Because I am the reason your world collapsed.
I am the reason your brother is gone.
I am the reason your laughter once turned into silence.
And no matter how much I love you…
no matter how much I want to believe I could stand beside you again…
I cannot erase what I did.
So I will stay where I belong.
In the dark.
In the water.
Watching the wind I can never hold again.
"Shi Qingxuan."
If you ever smile again…
I hope it is because you forgot me.