Work Text:
MC wakes up feeling like shit. They have a splitting headache, their throat feels like somebody clawed at it from the inside, and as they sit up, a wave of nausea strikes them so hard they immediately have to lay back down. MC is well and truly sick.
MC is also, as of recently, living with several demons who don't know how human illnesses work. So while they want to just pop an advil and go back to bed, their lack of willingness to get up, overall pale complexion, and flinching away from every noise has worried the demon brothers, to the point of asking for help from the only other human who might know what has happened to their personal human.
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"It's as I thought" Solomon says, with his hand your forehead. "You are definitely sick".
"Yeah, no shit, can I go back to bed now?" you say, already trying to turn over, but you get held back.
"In a bit, but despite your illness, you do still need to eat something, I brought this remedy I used to make---"
"No, no, that doesn't even look edible, the smell is completely off, no. Just get me a gatorade or something, I'll be fine." You smack away the contaminated thermos of something that would definitely make you feel worse. Solomon gives a pout, but still screw's the lid back on, and looks back to you with a determined smile.
"You do need to get something other than electrolytes in you. It's this or something else, I won't leave you alone until you eat something".
You give up. Reaching towards your bedside table, you grab a book of your own written recipes. "Fine. Here. I've got a recipe in here titled 'Healing Broth'. Go give this to..." who should he give it to? it takes a while for you to consider your options, but after several minutes of silence, you finish "Go give this to Satan, tell him the title of the recipe, tell him to follow it exactly for me, and tell him that if he please does this for me, I will allow him to ask me.. 10 questions about myself or the human world, AND I will answer them as truthfully and/or earnestly as I can."
So Solomon goes to find Satan, which turns out to be not difficult at all, as Satan was walking towards the door to leave the house.
"Satan, hello, I'm so sorry to bother you on this fine day" Solomon puts on his winning (fake) smile and approaches the brother.
"What do you want, I was on my way to go do something?"
"Oh, was it urgent?"
Satan was on his way to go pet the strays he's been secretly caring for. But he doesn't want Solomon to know that. "...No, I guess not? Why? What do you want?"
"Oh, well, as you know, our poor MC is not feeling the best, and they've given me strict instruction to find you and ask you to make this for them. Their exact words were to tell you it's a recipe in here labeled 'Healing Broth', you must follow it to the letter, and that they will reward you with knowledge upon completion of the task"
"What kind of knowledge?"
"They said you could ask and have answered 10 questions about them or the human world to them"
"Fine. Make it 15 and we've got a deal."
"That's not for me to decide."
So Satan goes to your room. And finds you face down on your bed in a position akin to that of a pretzel with stomach problems. "Make it 15 and we've got a deal", to which you promptly jolt awake, let out a groan, and give a lazy thumbs up before going back to trying to block out the lights and sounds and feelings of acid crawling up your throat.
Solomon, figuring his work here is done, leaves, and Satan throws together the broth as is written, trying to make it as good as possible despite the complete lack of measurements or clear tasting instructions in your recipe. When it's done, he puts it in a mug and brings it to your room.
"Hey, I got the broth stuff. Your recipe writing skills leave a lot to be desired, by the way, so it's not my fault if it doesn't turn out how you want it."
"Mmmmm. Oh, hey. Yeah, thanks, just leave it on the table."
"No. You can't just go back to sleep and let it get cold, get up" and he grabs your shoulders, raising you into a slightly more upright position before putting the mug in your hands. "Besides, you owe me."
"Fine, fine. But can I do my part of the deal later, I've got a massive migraine right now."
"Why did you even try to make a deal at all if you weren't going to go through with it?"
"You were my only choice, I needed to be sure you'd agree". You take a sip of the broth and add "This is good, by the way. Thank you."
"How was I your only choice? There're five other people in the house."
"Do you really want me to answer that? I'm going to start counting these questions in your total."
"Fine, count it, but tell me why."
"Okay, let's see. Well, there's Lucifer, he can cook and is technically supposed to see that I maintain my health while I'm here, but asking him to make broth for a lowly human would hurt his pride, or his smug demeanor about me needing his assistance would be overbearing, and he'd definitely make me pay him back in a demeaning way.
Mammon can't cook to save a life and also would run my already low funds into the ground if I asked him.
Levi also can't cook and won't leave his room to begin with.
Asmo can theoretically cook, but is terrified of the microplane because it might chip a nail, and has treated my recipes like an almond mom who believes there's no such thing as healthy fats in the past, and the only thing filling about this recipe is the fat, so that's a no.
And Beel would just eat it himself.
You were the best option, someone who will actually read the recipe, follow it, and you like asking questions, so I figured paying you back would be easy, since I'm a chronic yapper already."
By the end of your rundown, Satan looks. Kind of proud of himself. Maybe even a little smug. By default or not, MC thought really hard about which brother to ask for help, and he came out victorious. Take the small wins over your brothers when you can.
MC interrupts his internal celebration over his brothers, having finished their mug. "Can I answer the rest later, I still have a migraine and want to go to bed."
"Oh, yeah." He snaps out of it, getting up to leave. "If you need anything else, let me know. There's plenty more broth in the fridge."
"Thank you" you set the now empty mug down and turn over to go back to sleep, fully unaware of the ego boost you just gave the wrath avatar.
"We still need to work on your recipe writing skills after you've gotten better"
"Yeah Yeah, I can read them just fine, let me sleep."