Chapter Text
thursday 9:53 am
cocktavia added bellamyBAKED, commandercandles, greenbean, lincoln, gryffinwhore and jaspdaddy to 'operation braven'
cocktavia: bellamy augustus blake this is an intervention
bellamyBAKED: an intervention for what?
bellamyBAKED: is this about the boner thing bc i told you i am NOT a sex addict i just had a highlighter in my pocket
jaspdaddy: nah dude this about you being in love with raven
greenbean: and making it uncomfortable for everyone involved.
gryffinwhore: tru
bellamyBAKED: um raven and i are just pals guys
lincoln: boii she wants to marry you and live in a nice house on a hill with your two kids marla and juan carlitos
commandercandles: dont forget their chocolate labradoodle ruth bader ginsbark
bellamyBAKED: ok 1) raven and i will name our purebred collie boneia sotomayor get it right
bellamyBAKED: 2) yall childish me and raven are jUST FRIENDS
bellamyBAKED left 'operation braven'
commandercandles: hes sprung oml
cocktavia added bellamyBAKED to 'operation braven'
cocktavia has placed restrictions on 'operation braven'
bellamyBAKED: octavia u bitch lET ME OUT OR I AM TELLING RAVEN AND SHE WILL BEAT YOU UP YOU LIL SHIT
cocktavia: if you tell her i will literally show the entire country footage of the time you got drunk and stood naked in the backyard singing 'its a hard knock life'
bellamyBAKED: u wouldnt
cocktavia: [backyard-bellamy.vid]
bellamyBAKED: eu0bf0wuqrbfuqwudcbnhUJIJNHBUJINIHBHBUIHJBIJIJ
cocktavia: we did this bc we love you
bellamyBAKED: squad help me
lincoln: i would but u were making heart eyes @ raven when we were at the gym and u were SUPPOSED to b spottin me and i literally could've died
bellamyBAKED: i told u i was just impressed by her curl up ability with her brace on nOT MAKING HEART EYES
lincoln: the barbell was on my neck for a full 12 secs before you noticed
bellamyBAKED: let it go lincoln gOD
jaspdaddy: bellamy the first step to rehabilitation is admitting you have a problem
greenbean: and you have a problem
bellamyBAKED: i am going to tell mom
gryffinwhore: dude this was your moms idea
bellamyBAKED: uagursng
bellamyBAKED: raven and i are PLATONIC
greenbean: sure and im secretly a wizard
--
11:11 am
the delinquents
mechamami: do you ever make an 11:11 wish then realize time is an illusion
cocktavia: ???
cocktavia: are you high or-
mechamami: no i was just wishing for a pressure regulator and then realized that life is shit and dreams are dead
jaspdaddy: rt^^
lincoln: rt^^
commandercandles: rt^^
greenbean: speaking of being high
greenbean: does anyone know where i can aquire sum good kush
bellamyBAKED: lol ask ur drug addict friends not us
lincoln: when bellamy's name is bellamyBAKED but he's actually never smoked marijuana
cocktavia: or been high like at all
bellamyBAKED: that's the joke
cocktavia: your whole life is a joke
jaspdaddy: rip bellamy blake. brutally murdered by his baby sister
greenbean: gone but never forgotten
lincoln: today heaven gained an angel
cocktavia: i thought you and jasper had some leftover from your birfday
jaspdaddy: we accidentally smoked it all watching this harry potter marathon on tv
jaspdaddy: what an experience
bellamyBAKED: we get it u smoke weed
mechamami: thats such a good meme another gold star meme is [sure-jan.jpeg]
jaspdaddy: i loved the brady bunch movie
jaspdaddy: the brady bunch was generally iconic
lincoln: marcia marcia marcia was my sexual awakening
gryffinwhore: i never really got into the brady bunch but i loved full house
commandercandles: see clarke i told you we were soulmates
commandercandles: full house is my favorite thing
gryffinwhore: lexa you only said the soulmate thing to get me to buy you pizza
commandercandles: and you did because we're soulmates
mechamami: full house wasnt even that good a show
commandercandles: i spit on your grave
mechamami: lexa every episode is just half and hour of catchphrases set to a laugh track
commandercandles: hOW RUUDE
lincoln: have mercy
commandercandles: you got it dude
gryffinwhore: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake up san francisco !
bellamyBAKED: cut. it. ouuuuut.
jaspdaddy: you're in big trouble mister !!!
greenbean: oh my lanta
cocktavia: no way jose
jaspdaddy: im w raven full house sucked
jaspdaddy: family matters was a gem tho
mechamami: if someone told me that one day jasper jordan would be a man after my own
heart i would have kicked them in the jaw
mechamami: look @ me now
cocktavia: djwjedfrgjedfj bellamy hates full house too ok
bellamyBAKED: um no i love full house
cocktavia: and bellamy LOVES family matters ! he was urkel for halloween last year remember ??
bellamyBAKED: HUIJNBGTYHNOKUSWA
mechamami: i thought he was some spanish guy
bellamyBAKED: i wAS SPANISH COMMUNIST ASSASSIN RAMON MERCADER !! YOU JUST KEPT TELLING PEOPLE I WAS URKEL U EVIL ASS SEA WITCH.
cocktavia: bell take a chill pill let us not have a repeat of the time you got us all kicked out of the walmart because you had a meltdown over them selling pocahontas on dvd
bellamyBAKED: tHAT MOVIE IS DISGUSTINGLY INACCURATE ??? LIKE HOW DARE DISNEY TAKE THE STORY OF AN ELEVEN YEAR OLD GIRL WHOS HOME WAS INVADED BY WHITE DEVILS AND TURN IT INTO AN ANIMATED ROMANCE STARRING OG WHITE DEVIL HIMSELF MEL GIBSON
cocktavia: it was a good movie imo
bellamyBAKED: IHATEYOU MOM SHOULD HAVE ABANDONED YOU AT THE HOSPITAL YOU RAT
cocktavia: omg let the record show i wasnt the one who got too real
mechamami: bellamy calm down you're going to get ur phone snatched
bellamyBAKED: RAVEN I S2G OCTAVIA HAS BEEN DISRESPECTING ME ALL DAY IM GOING TO FIGHT THAT LITTLE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABORTION IM S
jaspdaddy: bellamy u ok bud
greenbean: did his head explode omg
lincoln: he was literally growling at his phone while typing and wallace noticed and confiscated it
cocktavia: im cryiNG
mechamami: cold world no blanket son
lincoln: bellamy is sweating so hard rn
greenbean: to the windows to the wall sweat is drippin off my balls
gryffinwhore: angry bellamy is honestly so relateable
12:25 pm
greenbean: wow this chat is so chill without bellamy's constant speeches abt life and shit
jaspdaddy: i know like this is the first time since freshman year my phone has been silent for an entire class period
mechamami: same sinclair keeps giving me this look like hes waiting for my phone to blow up with bellamys latest rant of the day
cocktavia: speaking of my big brother
cocktavia: im not going to b at lunch bc im sure bell is going to attack
lincoln: i gotta keep my lady company
commandercandles: lincoln is tryna cop a succ
lincoln: tru
1:06 pm
operation braven
gryffinwhore: [braven-exposed.jpeg]
gryffinwhore: are yall seein what i am
cocktavia: they look like the people on the cover of romance novels im so mad theyre not together
jaspdaddy: ive actually never seen bellamy this happy before ???
lincoln: ive never seen bellamy happy at all
greenbean: tru
commandercandles: tru
cocktavia: send me more pictures i want to frame them and hang them around the house
lincoln: put them in a slideshow to help convince them they belong together
jaspdaddy: [braven-is-real.jpeg]
greenbean: [braven-porn.jpeg]
greenbean: bellamy is going to fuck us up when he sees this
commandercandles: carpe diem bitches
commandercandles: [raven-is-going-kill-me.vid]
commandercandles: raVEN CAUGHT ME AND KNOCKED MY PHONE OUT OF MY HANDS
cocktavia: "lexa r u filming me ?" "dont b so self obsessed raven"
lincoln: "lexa puta if u post off guards on snapchat i will FUCK YOU UP"
gryffinwhore: she knocked that out of your hands so quick im cryin
jaspdaddy: look at bellamy @ :26 he looks so proud of his woman
2:30 pm
bellamyBAKED: got my phone back and im comin for all you hoes
bellamyBAKED: thats what yoU GUYS WERE DOING AT LUNCH I HATE YOU
bellamyBAKED: raven is so badass i want to marry her
cocktavia: we4pgfEWFHBjefeafvhnadijvfhljeaieadv
lincoln: s c r e e n s h o t t e d
jaspdaddy: congrats u have completed the first step towards rehabilitation
greenbean: [chandler-bing-i-knew-it.gif]
bellamyBAKED: aS A FRIEND
lincoln : too late biatch [braven-confirmed.jpeg]
bellamyBAKED: no braven NOT confirmed