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Gun was released from prison. How long had it been? The years seemed to fly by while he was cut off from the outside world.
He didn’t tell anyone about his release. He told the guards to make it a quiet affair. He didn’t mind being in prison, but his sentence was completed whether he liked it or not. He didn’t have a scarf to protect against the stinging wind of late autumn, so he pulled his shirt collar a little higher before leaving through the gates.
He booked a few nights at a cheap motel, but had no idea where to go. Since before his conception, he had a purpose to follow. Now he had none. No more goals in life, no more ambition to follow. No structure. Just him and a society that both feared and scorned him.
He was tired.
Tired of always living in the shadows.
He may have longed for a normal life in his childhood, but as he grew older, it became clear that it simply wasn’t meant for him.
There was no point in pondering the “what-ifs.” His fate was set in stone from the moment he was born.
Thus, he decided to return back to where he belonged in Japan. There was no one who needed him in Korea anymore, after all.
Maybe the Yamazaki syndicate didn’t need him either. They were running under some perfectly capable acting leaders for the past several years, and Gun had already long since accepted Korea as his new home. Even so, it was probably the most logical option. At least Japan wouldn’t charge him rent.
He decided to take an evening stroll through Seoul one last time before taking the bus to the airport.
The graffiti on the walls still hadn’t been removed after all this time. He always found it amusing how the local high school delinquents thought they were on top of the world after intimidating their classmates a little. They wouldn’t last a moment in Gun’s world.
Well, Goo did, but from the moment they met, he made it clear he was no ordinary troublemaker. Who knew that their fight that day would spiral into so many years spent together?
Gun looked at the ground as he walked, kicking the little pebbles on the sidewalk. How was Goo? Was he doing well since Gun went to prison? He hoped that he stayed on the down low after being absolved of all responsibility for their shared actions.
Gun sighed to himself. Knowing Goo, that was unlikely. He probably went right back to the underworld, but all Gun could hope for was that he didn’t get caught like Charles Choi did.
He glanced back up for a moment and found himself looking at the familiar face.
His roots had grown back into blonde, and his eyes seemed wearier. Even so, his gaze was unmistakable.
Goo’s eyes widened upon registering Gun’s presence. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally spoke.
“Hey…”
Gun blinked.
They stared at eachother for a long time. Neither of them seemed to know what to say to the other.
Eventually, Goo spoke up again.
“It’s been a while, Gun.”
“Yes… it has,” Gun replied simply.
“You got released?” Goo asked.
Gun nodded. “A few days ago.”
“I see.” Goo looked at the ground for a few moments before rummaging through his coat pocket. He took out a small paper slip and quickly scribbled on it with a pen before handing it to Gun.
“I changed my number,” he told him.
Gun glanced at it before putting it in his pocket.
“Do you have a place to stay?” Goo asked.
“Don’t worry about me,” Gun replied. “I still have some money.” I’m leaving soon anyway.
“Didn’t they take your money after going off to prison? You can’t possibly have that much left over. You can crash by my place. It was once yours too.”
“You still live in the same house?” Gun asked.
“Why not? I had no reason to leave just because you moved out.”
“Well, I just assumed you would have moved up to a giant penthouse or something by now.”
Goo scoffed. “And wait through a five minute elevator ride every time I want to leave?”
“Hm. I suppose that makes sense…” Gun mumbled. “Thanks.”
“Of course.” Goo responded.
They didn’t talk much on the way home. Gun already knew the path well and walked a step ahead of Goo. Though the trees they passed by were dry and lifeless in the colder weather, they had grown noticeably in height since the last time Gun walked along the path.
Once they arrived, Gun hung his coat up and found his old pair of slippers in the closet, one of the few belongings he didn’t take with him after moving out. Goo still had it lying around.
It all felt so familiar.
“Help yourself,” Goo told him. “I have spare clothes in the bottom drawer if you want to take a shower or something.”
Gun showered as quickly as he could, trying not to use too much water. Goo’s shirt was a bit tight on his wide frame, but the clothes fit well enough. Were his clothes always a little loose on Goo when he stole them, or was his prison workout routine just that potent?
He went back downstairs. Goo had his sleeves rolled up, chopping up tofu, cabbage and mushrooms. Surprisingly, his movements were careful and his hands were slightly shaky while gripping the knife. Gun always found it strange how confident Goo was around sharp objects in combat, but seemed to lose all his expertise when he had to apply the same tools to mundane tasks.
“You’re making nabe?” Gun asked.
Goo set down the knife. “It’s not as good as when you make it,” he admitted.
Gun rolled up his own sleeves. “I can make the soup base,” he said. “Where’s your miso?”
“It’s in the cabinet down there.”
Gun opened it.
“You only have instant miso? No wonder it’s never been as good as mine.”
Goo chuckled. “I guess I can’t do anything by myself.”
Twenty minutes later, Gun set down the completed dish on the table. Goo quickly scooped a portion into his bowl and took off his glasses, blowing on the steam rising from the soup. In contrast, Gun immediately scooped a spoonful of vegetables from his bowl into his mouth, letting the scalding heat radiate through his mouth.
“It's not that bad, eh?” Goo grinned.
Gun huffed and crossed his arms. “I’ll give it a 6 out of 10. It’ll be much better if you ditch the instant stuff.”
Goo laughed. “As strict as ever. Fine, I’ll go shopping tomorrow. Anything else you need from the store?”
“I can just go with you. It’ll be easier,” Gun told him. “-If you don’t mind,” he added quickly.
“Sure, you can. Just make sure to wear your jacket, it’ll be a cold day,“ he said, checking the forecast on his phone. “Or don’t,” he added. “I’ve seen you go shirtless in a snowstorm before.”
Gun rolled his eyes, but the corners of his mouth curled into a small smile.
After the meal, Gun helped Goo put away the dishes before retiring to the guest bedroom, which was also his old room. It was not in his original plan to spend the night there, but he figured he could wait a bit before returning to Japan. Besides, they still had a lot to catch up on.
***
The next morning, Goo went downstairs to find Gun already in the kitchen.
Gun turned his head to look at him. “Oh, you’re up. Can I use your eggs?”
Goo waved him off. “Yeah, yeah, use whatever you want. We’re going shopping today anyway.” Goo grabbed an apple and quickly rinsed it before biting into it. A few minutes later, Gun set down a plate of scrambled eggs on the table.
“Are you planning on staying here tonight as well?” Goo asked.
“If you don’t mind.” Gun replied.
“I don’t, but tell me what you need besides miso if you plan on cooking more.”
Soon, they were walking along the street again, heading for the local grocery store. The conversation was slow at first as it had been the previous night, but they began talking like old friends as they approached the store.
After all, weren’t they just that? Old, reunited friends?
After getting their groceries for the week and dropping them off back at home, Goo suggested going to the clothing store, since Gun still didn’t have many clothes to his name after getting out of prison. Gun agreed.
The two of them wandered aimlessly around the store for several hours. They didn’t keep track of the time. Gun picked up some items, but most of the time was spent continuing their conversation and messing around. By the time they finished, the sky was dark and snowflakes were drifting down from the clouds.
“The first snow of the winter,” Goo murmured.
“It’s a bit late this year,” Gun remarked.
Gun’s black sclerae seemed to be an endless void, but they still reflected the light of the streetlights. He held out his hand. A few snowflakes fell on his hand, melting instantly.
“But hey, better late than never, right?” Goo continued. “Let’s take the scenic route,” he said, pointing at the park. Gun nodded.
The thin layer of snow on the ground crunched softly under their steps. They sat down on a bench. Goo pulled his scarf up a little higher.
“This is nice,” Goo said.
“Hmm.”
“It’s been a while. I missed hanging out with you, you know.”
“So did I.”
Goo raised his eyebrows. “Is that so? You didn’t seem to want to see me while you were in prison.”
Gun replied without hesitation. “There was no reason for you to get involved with me in there.”
Goo’s smile dropped.
“Is that why you took all the blame? So I wouldn’t get involved?”
“It was my choice to join him. It was my consequence to bear.”
“Why did you bear my consequences in my place? I also chose to get involved with you two, Gun. Quit acting like we’re so different in that regard.”
“It doesn’t matter, anyways. What’s done is done, and you should have just forgotten about me. I don’t understand why you invited me back into your home.”
Goo stood up, clenching his fists. “How could I forget about you? Didn’t those years we spent working together mean anything?”
Gun’s voice rose. “Why would you care? It happened so long ago!”
“Because we were friends!”
Goo’s words reverberated in the air. Gun stared up at him until Goo sunk back onto the bench.
“Aren’t we still?” His voice was soft.
Gun struggled to answer. “We were…” He sighed, looking straight ahead. “Well, I… haven’t been fully honest with you.”
“Oh? Out with it, then. What am I missing?”
For once in his life, Gun had hardly processed his own decision before he allowed the words to spill out of his mouth.
“I had feelings for you.”
Goo flinched.
“...I still do,” Gun continued. “Back then, I just couldn’t allow myself to stay in your life and ruin it.”
Goo closed his eyes and looked down.
“How could you say that? Did you seriously think you were doing me a favor? The time I spent with you were some of the best years of my life…”
Gun looked up at the sky. “They shouldn’t stay that way. You deserve to move forward. I already sacrificed my future when I joined Charles Choi, but you still had your whole life ahead of you. I couldn’t drag you down.”
“Just ‘cause you decided to stick with that man doesn’t mean you have to spend your whole life shackled by the past,” Goo told him. “Your life isn’t over just because his life is.”
Gun continued to say nothing. Goo lifted his head too.
“Besides… I have feelings for you too.”
Gun’s breath hitched. He turned back towards Goo.
“I don’t know when it started, but I’ve had them for a while,” Goo continued, still gazing at the stars. “Even after everything, you stayed on my mind.”
“Knowing that wouldn’t have changed my decision back then.”
“Is that so? Damn.” His playful grin returned. “I should have known. Well, does knowing the truth now change anything in the present, then?”
Gun thought about it for a moment. “It’s been a long time…”
“It has. But it seems your feelings haven’t changed, and neither have mine.”
Gun reached out with his hand resting on the bench and laced it with Goo’s.
“Since we both feel the same… let’s be partners again.”
Goo’s eyes twinkled. He moved closer to Gun and rested his head on his shoulder. Gun did the same in return.
As they sat there, watching the snow drift down from the sky, they both shared the same thought.
I missed you.