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The television blared to life, and then Shane clicked some buttons on the remote as he pointed it toward the screen. It didn’t matter what show or movie played; he and Ilya often didn’t pay much attention to what was on TV when they spent time together during one of their rare visits. But it was summer now, and Ilya had come to stay at Shane’s cottage for the foreseeable month.
It was becoming a regular yearly occurrence for Ilya to spend the summers with Shane at his cottage. Ever since Shane had come out to his parents and subsequently revealed his lengthy relationship with Ilya Rozanov, there had been no reason to feign needing distance from each other anymore. Especially since Shane and Ilya had finally cleared the air between themselves—that this was something exclusive. Something serious.
And so, that was why Shane and Ilya were settling down at the cottage together for their third year in a row.
Just for the hell of it, Shane stopped flipping channels when he saw characters dressed in red and green. They were surrounded by snow and wintry decorations. Of course, it was one of those cheesy Christmas movies. He snorted and sat down on the couch next to Ilya. They watched in silence for several minutes. Ilya was popping pieces of popcorn into his mouth from a bowl on the coffee table in front of them.
“What is this?” Ilya said out of nowhere.
“What is what?”
Ilya gestured toward the TV. “This. What is this movie?”
Shane shrugged. “It’s a Christmas movie. Hallmark channel. They play them during July for some reason.”
“Hall... Mark?” Ilya sounded out the words separately, as if it was something alien and peculiar. “What the hell is a Hall Mark?”
“Well, for one, you’re supposed to say the words together. Like it’s one word. Hallmark.” Shane clicked on the remote to pull up the information box about the movie currently playing. Ilya leaned forward as if he was really interested in figuring it all out.
“So they play Christmas movies?”
“Well, yes. They have a lot of those. But they generally show romantic comedies. Family-friendly ones. They almost always take place in small towns. And they’re really, really cheesy. Like, the main man and woman always meet by spilling coffee on each other, or they’re both running for town mayor. It takes the entire movie for them to figure their shit out and get together.”
Ilya looked at him with a devilish smirk. “Oh. And you would know all about taking forever to express your undying love for someone, wouldn’t you? Is very relatable, yes?”
Shane rolled his eyes. There was a point in time where a joke like that would prod a bit uncomfortably at his emotions. But they’d had plenty of conversations over the past few years, and they’d reached a point where it was nothing more than harmless teasing.
“These stories only go through a few months or a year of their relationship,” Shane said. “It’s not the same as... us.”
“Ah. Yes, yes. I see,” Ilya said, turning his attention back to the TV. “Do you like these kinds of movies?”
“No. I think they’re stupid.”
“Then why did you put it on?”
“I can turn it off.”
“No,” Ilya said, giving an abrupt flap of his hand toward Shane. His eyes didn’t leave the TV. “Keep it on. I want to see where this stupid movie goes.”
·꙳⋆𖢔𖠰𖢔·꙳⋆
One morning, Shane woke up bathed in warm sunlight that was streaming in through the large windows. He rolled over without opening his eyes, reaching out with the intention of tugging Ilya closer. But his hand didn’t meet the familiar broad shoulders or chest, his fingers unable to slide into any fluffy curls. He peeked one eye open and found the bed empty.
Ilya must already be awake somewhere inside or outside the cottage. Shane rubbed his eyes as he sat up. He considered that his boyfriend might have gone for a run around the lake.
After changing into some comfortable clothes, he left the bedroom and turned the corner to walk down the hallway. He stepped down the short staircase and was about to enter the kitchen when he paused. There was a very faint sound of jingling music playing in the living room. Shane, feeling his curiosity piqued, walked slowly and quietly through the kitchen. He caught a glimpse of golden curls from over the top of the wooden bar that divided the kitchen and living room.
Shane leaned against the kitchen island, aware of the fact that his presence hadn’t been noticed yet. Ilya was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the couch, staring straight ahead at the TV screen as it played some movie. Upon closer inspection, Shane realized it was a Hallmark movie. More specifically, it was a Christmas Hallmark movie. He could tell from the Santa hats on a few characters’ heads, along with the music score that included the rhythmic chime of sleigh bells.
“What are you watching?” Shane said suddenly, and Ilya jerked at the sound of his voice.
“Shane! Shit. When did you get there?” Ilya said, clutching at his shirt over his heart.
“Just now. I can’t believe you snuck out of bed to watch...” Shane trailed off and simply gestured toward the TV.
“Hallmark.”
“Yeah, I can see that.” Shane walked around the wooden divider and down the steps to join Ilya on the couch. “Why are you watching Hallmark?”
Ilya looked at Shane as if he were offended by his question. He raised his eyebrows and tipped his head toward the TV. “Is Christmas in July, Shane. They show movies all month long. Why are you not watching Hallmark?”
“Because I don’t like Hallmark?”
Ilya slapped a hand over his mouth, and Shane felt like he had committed some grave sin by being honest about his television preferences.
“Shane! How could you not like this?”
“I just don’t,” Shane said, trying to fight back the smile forming on his lips.
“You showed me.”
“Yeah, because there was nothing else on. And I thought we were just going to make fun of it together.”
Ilya opened and closed his mouth several times. Then he sat back with a huff, tearing his eyes away from Shane to direct them back on the TV. Shane was confused by his reaction. They’d first watched Hallmark a few days ago, and Shane hadn’t seen any of their movies playing on any of the TVs ever since. But Ilya seemed to have suddenly become a big fan of them.
“Have you even watched any more of these movies since that first one?” Shane said. He was genuinely curious.
“Yes,” Ilya said, still refusing to look at Shane. “When I can’t sleep. I come out here and watch on low volume. Then go back to bed with you.”
“Oh. I’m sorry you couldn’t sleep. You could have woken me up.”
“No. Is fine.” Ilya was quiet for a moment. Then he mumbled, “You probably would not want to watch stupid Hallmark movies anyway.”
Shane glanced over at Ilya to see the scrunched-up pout on his lips. His eyebrows were drawn together, and he had his arms folded over his chest. Shane couldn’t even begin to gauge if Ilya was actually upset over this, or if he was joking around.
“Ilya, are you sulking over me not liking Hallmark movies?” Shane said.
“No.”
“Ilya.”
“Fine. Yes. It does not matter.”
Shane sighed in equal levels of exasperation and adoration. “Ilya. You’re allowed to like Hallmark while I don’t like it.”
“But what is not to like?” Ilya said, waving his hands around. He looked between the TV and Shane’s face. “They met while hosting camp for kids, making gingerbread cookies. Now they compete to see who makes best gingerbread house. She is going to win. No questions asked. But point is that it is very cute. Very sweet. I wish I could meet my lover through baked goods, having enjoyable time playing with kids. It's so cute, Shane. Isn’t it so cute?”
Shane really couldn’t contain his laughter this time. He threw his head back and let everything out, covering his mouth only when he noticed Ilya staring determinedly at him.
“So, you’d rather have met me through a baking competition?” Shane said.
Ilya seemed to consider this, glancing away in thought. “Might have been fun to beat you at different activity. Win your heart outside of hockey arena.”
‘You would have me in every universe anyway,’ Shane thought to himself. It was true, after all. He couldn’t envision a future that didn’t include having Ilya by his side.
“We do host a kids camp,” Shane chose to say instead. The charity that they’d established years ago was still proceeding very successfully.
“True.”
“Yeah? So we’ve already met half of the requirements. Would you maybe want to bake some gingerbread cookies?”
Ilya’s eyes trailed over to Shane’s, slow and cautious. When their gazes met, there was the slightest twitch at the corner of Ilya’s mouth, and then he was leaning further into Shane’s space.
“Together?” Ilya said. “You would bake gingerbread with me in July?”
“Yeah, of course. Why not? I think I have all the ingredients we’d need here at the cottage.”
“Today?”
“It can be today. Or tomorrow. Whenever you want.”
It was obvious how elated Ilya was becoming from the proposal. He began explaining how the two characters from the movie had gone about making the cookies. Shane knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he was going to search online for a real recipe with steps laid out. Or maybe a recipe existed in one of the clunky cookbooks stowed away in his kitchen cabinet. Still, he listened to Ilya’s rambling, endeared by his enthusiasm.
“There is important other step,” Ilya was saying. “But...”
He trailed off, looking away from Shane as if he was unsure of himself. Shane frowned, not liking his hesitance.
“What is it? Tell me, Ilya.”
Shane reached out to slowly trace his fingertip along Ilya’s jawline. The tender contact caused Ilya to meet his eyes again. He still seemed reluctant to voice his thoughts, but his mouth finally opened.
“Once cookies are made, we would have to eat them while watching Hallmark. But it’s okay if you don’t—”
“I would love to make gingerbread cookies and watch silly Hallmark movies with you all night.”
“All night?” Ilya said quickly. His eyes went wide with a blend of surprise and excitement.
Shane knew his surprise was rooted in his awareness of Shane’s strict routine. He wasn’t the type to stay up late—mostly due to his internal clock causing him to reliably get tired around 10pm. But he wanted to try since this seemed so important to Ilya. He wanted to contribute to creating more fond memories for Ilya and himself to look back on.
“Don’t get upset if I fall asleep?” Shane said.
“I will carry you to bed if that happens,” Ilya said with an affectionate grin.
“You’re gonna wake me up.”
“Then you will see your strong boyfriend taking such good care of you. But... I will try not to wake you.”
It was clear that Ilya was thinking very far ahead, intent on the whole thing happening and going smoothly. Shane couldn’t even be surprised by his own anticipation seeping in as a result.
Later that evening, they were back on the couch together, the coffee table in front of them laden with a tray of fresh gingerbread cookies and two glasses of milk. The cookies were circular and devoid of any icing decorations. It wasn’t like Shane’s kitchen had been prepped for making wintry baked goods in the middle of summer.
Shane bit into his second cookie, silently noting the overly spicy taste. It wasn’t bad, but there could have been less cinnamon included in the dough mixture. Ilya was the main culprit regarding that. He'd been insistent that a singular tablespoon ‘couldn’t be enough,’ going so far as to slip in a second one while Shane had his back turned.
At least the cookies were edible.
Ilya was a very capable cook. He just happened to become... inspired, on occasion. He tended to think outside of the box, trying to create new dishes by substituting ingredients for more ‘fun’ ones.
‘Spontaneous’ was the word that Shane would use to describe Ilya’s cooking habits.
Shane needed directions to follow. Recipes were meant to be followed perfectly if a flawless result were to occur. For him, going off the book would lead to an unpredictable taste. He liked knowing what to expect and going about a procedure that would help him achieve as much.
And yet, as Shane looked away from the TV screen to observe Ilya’s side profile instead, he found that he couldn’t even be mildly annoyed.
There was a white smudge on Ilya’s cheek from when Shane had flicked some flour at him earlier in the kitchen. Ilya had started it, to be fair. Shane had been minding his own business mixing ingredients together in the glass bowl when a cloud of white dust fluttered onto his arm. When he’d looked up, Ilya had a serious expression on his face, which immediately broke and was replaced with a wicked grin once he had Shane’s attention.
The initial taunt had led to both of them grabbing for a few too many handfuls of flour. The white powder only managed to cover half the counter and part of the floor before Shane halted them to a screeching stop, doubled over in laughter while declaring a truce. Ilya obeyed, only to be strictly directed to clean up the mess with a broom and some paper towels while Shane finished making the cookies.
He wasn’t upset with Ilya. The mess in the kitchen had only occurred because Shane took the bait. It was hard to help himself when it came to Ilya; competition was simply coded into their entire beings. They would always react to blatant provocations, especially when it was between the two of them.
Light from the TV screen danced across Ilya’s features, flurries of red and green indicating the Christmas theme of the movie currently playing. Shane could only assume something troublesome was happening since the corners of Ilya’s lips were dipping down into a frown. The characters could be heard arguing back and forth, clearly in the middle of some frivolous quarrel.
Shane turned back toward the TV, if only to avoid being caught staring. Sometimes he got into an observant mood where Ilya’s face was simply more interesting than anything else around him. The only other thing he would consider just as equally deserving of his rapt attention was a puck gliding across the ice.
“He is being ridiculous,” Ilya grumbled.
Shane glanced over and couldn’t help snorting at the sight of Ilya’s scowl. His eyebrows were drawn together, conveying his very serious emotions.
“What is it now?”
“We are watching same movie, yes? Do not tell me you agree with Jake’s decision to cancel the annual Christmas party?”
“Well, if Jake wants to...”
Ilya whirled his head around at Shane’s words. Shane bit the inside of his cheek to stifle the laugh that was threatening to tumble out.
“Sarah deserves better than some man who will not think twice about destroying her hard work! She has been planning this party since year before. He is... what is word... overusing his power...”
“Abusing his authority?” Shane offered.
“Yes, that,” Ilya said, snapping his fingers. “Anyway, he will not win her heart like that. He needs to stop thinking about money and help her.”
“Right. He's an asshole. So, you hate him?”
“I am still deciding.”
Shane shook his head, leaning back comfortably into the couch cushions. Ilya remained cross-legged in his spot at the edge of his seat. He reached blindly toward the tray on the table, grabbing a new cookie and bringing it to his lips as he watched the movie.
Shane savored any occasion where he could witness Ilya’s passion. Despite seeming annoyed by a certain male character’s antics, Ilya was undoubtedly enjoying himself. Shane spent a greater portion of the movie glancing between the screen and Ilya’s reactions to dialogue and plot points.
Shane didn’t even realize he’d nodded off until he opened his eyes to the same dark living room. The TV was still on, but the volume had been significantly reduced. He wasn’t even sure if the movie playing was the same one from before. Remnants from a broken dream were still floating around the forefront of his mind.
He started lifting his head from whatever cushion it had sunken into only to feel it moving in response. A hand came up to gently press his head back down. He realized then that it was Ilya’s shoulder that he’d been sleeping on.
“No, no. Go back to sleep,” Ilya said softly. He ran his fingers through Shane’s hair as if to help him relax.
“Is the movie over?” Shane said.
“The first one we were watching, yes. But another is on now.”
“Do you wanna finish it?”
Ilya didn’t answer immediately. He hummed thoughtfully. The blunt scratch of his nails felt pleasant against Shane’s scalp.
“I can watch it tomorrow. It will be playing again,” Ilya said.
“Okay.”
Ilya shuffled around a bit, his hand slipping out of Shane’s hair. Shane couldn’t suppress the weak groan in the back of his throat—it felt like a loss. Ilya whispered an endearment in Russian as he used the remote to turn the TV off. There was just enough light from the lamps outside that Shane could make out Ilya’s silhouette as he moved to stand in front of him.
Shane blinked slowly, his vision still blurry from having woken up a short time ago. He felt hands slipping under his thighs, and then he was being lifted up. His arms automatically found their way around Ilya’s neck, his ankles locking into place at his lower back.
“It is bedtime for you,” Ilya said as he began walking through the room.
“For you, too,” Shane said petulantly. He didn’t want Ilya to leave him alone in their bedroom.
“Of course it is. That is why we go together.”
Shane hid his smile in Ilya’s neck. For some reason, his mouth kept moving. He barely had the energy to keep his eyes open, but he still felt the need to speak.
“I need to brush my teeth,” Shane said.
“We will make layover at bathroom.”
“I don’t want to turn the lights on.”
“There is phone flashlight.”
Shane hummed as he considered the option. He really couldn’t complain about a solution to his dilemma. He nuzzled his nose into Ilya’s hair, inhaling the scent of his minty shampoo.
“Love you,” Shane mumbled.
He felt Ilya’s fingers flex in their secure hold under Shane’s thighs. His head pressed in a bit closer to Shane’s as he continued carrying him.
“I love you, too.”