Chapter Text
Together on the top of the world,
the top of the roof,
you promise it all.
Together, there, you talk of leaving.
I couldn’t wait to leave with you.
Then the words came;
“You’re not coming.”
It wasn’t your choice
it wasn’t your spite,
yet you didn’t fight.
So I ran, away away
away again,
like I did whenever you left.
It was never permanent, this
wouldn’t be either, yet it stung.
You chased, further further
further again,
as you always did when I left.
Begging for my forgiveness
I could never stay away.
Neither could you.
We had each other.
But that didn’t stop it hurting.
Your care manifested into
a key, a vehicle, a broken rule.
Together, for an evening
for a day, we left.
Disregarding safety, or anything
that usually mattered,
I pushed us forward and forward,
into the unknown,
and you
the goody-two shoes,
the one seeking, chasing approval,
never one to dare what we were daring
followed.
It felt like everything I needed---
Until we fell.
Down, down
down and
down.
A blinding light came and went.
Watching your eyes
flutter close and stay down,
the fear I felt
thinking,
had I lost you?
Had I done something unfixable
again?
And in those woods
you never should’ve been in,
I scream your name
I hold you tight
I look at those eyes,
closed
closed
closed
closed
then open.
All at once,
All the fear,
away away away
again.
But you speak of things
never seen.
A sword, a woman,
a light so bright it drowned the world.
And then,
the sun not far up,
we return, sneak into our beds,
hope no one knows we left.
Barely asleep, I feel you shift
you wake, you move
you get up and
you leave
again.
You fall
away away away
again,
but as you sneak into the dark
I follow you.
Out out out,
your footsteps carry you,
you follow when they lead;
out out out,
the door in front of you
you start to leave,
out out
Stop.
I stand in front of you,
confronting you,
ready to follow you
out.
You stand denying me,
“cover for me,
no one will know I left,
I’ll be back before dawn.”
So you leave, so I sleep,
so you go
out where I can never follow.
I never followed.
And dawn breaks,
and I wait,
I wait I wait I wait
for the time, the hour
you return.
You promised,
was it a lie?
Was it all a lie,
a joke, a trick, an oasis
imagined by the dehydrated eye
in a desert devoid of life?
Is that all it ever was?
No, no, no, no.
It wasn’t, you were the good,
the only good,
that existed in this world.
You didn’t leave,
you wouldn’t choose that,
no no no.
When she arrives and grabs my face and freezes me in place
I do not fight,
I cover for you,
like I said I would.
When she calls me a liar and sends shocks down my spine
I do not flinch
I do not cry,
I simply nod when she tells me to go along
to look for you,
to storm the place that you were seen,
to storm the people who took you,
to make them pay,
and to get you back.
And once, just once,
I agree with that witch,
and I listen.
The battle,
the smoke the flames
the cries of people
run run run,
isn’t it beautiful?
They pay, they pay
for what they’ve done.
Where are you?
The battle,
the cannons the shots
ring in my ears.
A flash of blonde hair
running running running.
Your blonde hair.
You stand before us
all of us,
and I jump out,
running running running
to you.
You look at me,
you don't look happy,
“This has to stop.”
…What?
Standing face to face
this was the battle
you wanted to lead.
This ‘civilian’ town took you,
they took you,
and even if they didn’t,
I thought you knew the world was bad,
I thought you knew,
it was just you and me.
Every other person in this world is
pain pain pain.
So what if we were lying,
don't you get it?
They’re lying too!
Believe me, trust me,
but you never did.
I thought it was you and me
but it’s just me,
alone alone alone.
No no no no no no,
it can’t be,
they’re
lying lying lying
to you, if I could just make you see!
But you don't.
You leave
leave leave leave
like she always said you would.
Guess you saw what she sees,
but you’re all wrong.
I’ll burn the world if that’ll show you,
if that’ll make you see.
Starting here, starting now.
The cries the screams
the running running running
it stops.
For a moment all is silent,
consumed by a blinding light;
a sword
held above blonde hair,
a cry,
and a fight.
A warrior with a tiara rested on her head
destroys it all.
She cuts, she slashes,
she stands taller than I’ve ever seen,
as the captain tells us to retreat,
she has saved it all.
As they leave, I stay in the shadows.
You’re wrong about me, you’ll see,
but before I show you,
maybe I can see you one more time.
The warrior is surrounded by the
sparkly, happy, smiling
disgusting princess,
pulled into a hug as
she falls to the ground,
no longer tall,
she falls to her knees.
And this warrior,
so unfamiliar,
so unlike anyone known before,
is gone. In her place,
you are on your knees,
embraced by that disgusting girl.
And you look right at me.
The warmth your eyes once held
replaced by coldness.
I never thought you’d replace me
this quickly.
Before a word can be said,
before an expression changed,
I disappear into the shadows,
where not even you can find me.
You’re gone gone gone,
and you will see.
You will see what you’ve caused,
what you’ve done,
the mistake you made today.
You will regret it.