Chapter Text
26) Who kissed who first?
When Rafael was in high school, he liked a girl who was way out of his league and too pretty for him. She was too smart and too good and too everything, even too tall for him. She was perfect, and Rafael spent more than a year pining over this girl. He never told her how he felt, he just admired her from afar, too afraid to do anything.
Rafael feels like he's in high school again.
Literally staring at Sonny Carisi across the conference table, he feels 17 again. He'll never tell Carisi how he feels, he'll never tell another soul the thoughts he has towards Carisi. He's embarrassed in his own head of how he feels. He's embarrassed of all the time he had spent growing out of his confidence issues only for it to be shattered by a thirty-something year old who grows a really awful mustache.
Carisi writes quickly on the legal pad. He's helping Rafael with another case, and it's far too late for them to be alone together. Rafael is far too tired for this.
"Something I can help you with, counselor?" Carisi slowly looks up, drawing out a blink and Rafael figures he's feeling the lateness of the hour as well.
You're even beautiful with dark circles under your eyes, Rafael thinks.
Immediately, he replies, "I think we'd better call it a night."
Carisi looks at the stack of files he needs to take notes on. "I still got a whole stack over here--"
"We'll pick up where we left off tomorrow."
Carisi marks his spot and stands. "If you say so, I'm not arguin'."
Rafael follows the younger man up, pulling on his suit jacket as well.
"Thanks for your help, detective."
They meet at the door. Carisi reaches for the doorknob.
"Goodnight," Carisi mutters, then leans over and pecks a kiss to Rafael's lips. "See you tomorrow," he adds, then steps out the door while Rafael just stands completely stunned.
Rafael replays the last minute in his head at least ten times, trying to decipher whether or not he was daydreaming Carisi kissing him goodbye. It's not unlikely, he's daydreamed about kissing Carisi before. And he's so tired, maybe it was a dream.
Footsteps echoing down the hall knocks Rafael out of his trance. In seconds, Carisi is in front of him again.
"Did I just--"
"I think so."
Carisi runs a hand through his still-perfect hair. "Jesus, oh god. Barba, I'm so sorry."
"I...it's ok, Carisi."
Carisi rubs his eyes. "I'm so embarrassed. It's like calling your teacher 'mom' or something, kissing your coworker. I can't believe I just did that, I'm such a--"
Rafael takes hold of Carisi's hands and pulls them away from his face.
"Carisi, it's ok."
Carisi looks at Rafael fully for the first time. "It is?"
"It was just a little bit..."
"Moronic? Idiotic? You've got a bigger vocabulary than me--"
"I was going to say fast."
Carisi's eyes widen. Rafael slowly smiles, feeling calm yet excited, and no longer unconfident.
"Oh...fast," Carisi repeats, slowly starting to match Rafael's smile. "I can do slow."
They lean together, this time meeting in a sweet kiss. Carisi's mouth tastes like the coffee they just drank, but Rafael doesn't mind. Carisi's mouth feels hot and inviting, he feels amazing.
Rafael pulls away first, feeling much more awake but knowing they need to go home to rest for tomorrow's trial prep.
"Go home Carisi," he says to a blissful looking detective.
"See you tomorrow," Carisi says, kissing him one more time.
Rafael feels the tingle of Carisi all the way home, the anticipation of tomorrow making him too excited to calm down for sleep.
He feels like he's in high school again.