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The bitter cold prickling at Yosuke’s face wasn’t enough to fight the heat rushing from his chest to his cheeks. Mere minutes before, his best friend had draped an arm over his shoulders. Only seconds ago, Yu had offered to undress for the sake of sharing body heat to survive. And in that very instant, Yosuke realized that his mancrush on his partner that he’d been harboring in the depths of his thoughts was a little more like a real crush.
A lot more like a real crush.
Perhaps it was the potential imminence of their demise or Yu’s impending move back to the city, but the words started bubbling up before Yosuke could scare himself out of it.
“Hey, Partner?”
“Hm?”
“I think I—”
The doors of that dark shack burst open with a flurry of snowflakes glittering in the few shards of daylight that filtered between their friends’ silhouettes. They stood just across the snow-dusted threshold, each of them wearing different shades of guilt and relief.
The rest of Yosuke’s confession froze, stuck to his tongue like ice, blocking his throat, melting too slowly for him to say anything more.
Yu was going back to the city in one month. Yosuke couldn’t help but think that was a really short deadline for him to gather the courage necessary to confess to his best friend. Not that they wouldn’t still be in contact, but this was something he had to say in person if he was going to say it at all, and letting it marinate in the anxiety juice that kept his brain afloat until May sounded like nothing short of torture.
That said, the snow-covered police tape tangled between the bamboo trees made his crush feel small in comparison to everything else that was happening.
Maybe he could just pull Yu aside for a second and spit it out. Get it over with. And then they could focus on more important things.
“Hey, Yu?” Yosuke rested his hand on Yu’s shoulder, but as soon as Yu turned to face him, Yosuke immediately felt weird about it and removed his hand from Yu’s person. “Can we, uh, have a quick chat?”
“Sure.”
Yosuke had been hoping to have a little more privacy, but the forest and the fog made wandering off look too risky. Instead, he slowed his gait until the two of them were following the rest of the team at a distance close enough to see them but far enough to not carry his voice. “About yesterday, I, um, realized something? And like, I know this isn’t the best timing, but—”
“Senpai!” Yosuke winced, Rise’s voice hitting his ears twofold, amplified by Kanzeon’s speaker in his mind. “We’re going to lose you if you two lag behind like that!”
Yosuke’s frown deepened. He motioned to his partner and shouted back, “We’re trying to have a private conversation here!”
“Yosuke.” Yu placed his hand on Yosuke’s arm and shook his head. “Maybe we should discuss this later.” With a tilt of his head, he raised his eyebrows in Rise’s direction.
Later? After the raging storm of doubt and hormones and anxiety ate him from the inside? Rolling his eyes, Yosuke muttered, “Oh, c’mon, it’s not like she can hear everything—”
“Sorry, Yosuke, what was that about yesterday and your terrible timing?” There was an irritating ring to Rise’s tone that grated against Yosuke’s brain in all the worst ways. “I can barely hear you with how dangerously far you are from everyone else.”
Yosuke groaned and picked up his pace. “Fine.”
The good news was that they’d saved Marie in record time. The bad news was that after they’d done so, she’d all but confessed her love to Yu.
Yosuke knew he shouldn’t have waited to confess.
But then again, what difference did it make? What snowflake’s chance in hell did he stand against a hot girl?
It was Valentine’s Day. If he stood any chance at all, it would be then. Just his luck, with everything that had happened since his realization, he’d had zero time to figure out his chocolate situation. Whatever. He’d grab something from work after school. It was the thought that mattered, right?
Not like his puny box of last minute chocolates would be judged against the mountain of delicately wrapped homemade packages that had been stacked on Yu’s desk that morning. The mountain, having slowly grown throughout the school day, stood even taller after being relocated to a table at the Junes food court.
“Dang, Partner. That’s...” Yosuke attempted to swallow his nerves. “An intimidating haul.”
“I’m not looking foward to White Day,” Yu admitted in agreement. It sounded like a humble brag, but the tight line of Yu’s lips and the worried furrow of his brow told Yosuke otherwise.
“Hey, at least you got something.”
“Right.” Yu rubbed his neck. “Sorry.” He looked over his heap of chocolate. “You want some of mine?”
“Damn, that’s cold, Partner,” Yosuke laughed, quietly relieved that Yu didn’t seem to regard any of the gifted chocolate with the strong sense of sentimentality that would come with reciprocated feelings.
Yu stared at him blankly. “What? I can’t eat all this myself.”
“That’s hard to believe,” Yosuke said with a smirk. “I’ve seen you down bigger meals than this without a second thought.”
“Chocolate isn’t a meal.”
“Says the guy that ate grass.”
“That was one time.”
“Alright, alright,” Yosuke yielded, holding up his hands. The easy smile dropped from his face and his eyes darted across the food court. No one they knew seemed to be around, except his coworkers who were being paid to remain at their thankfully distant stations. “So, um, about what I was saying the other day—”
Yu perked up, his eyes brightening. “Yeah?”
Yosuke felt around inside his school bag for the box of chocolate. “I, uh, I’ve been thinking about things.”
Yu leaned in, eyes narrowed, resting his grin in his hand. “Have you now?”
“Dude, shut up,” Yosuke grumbled. “This is kind of, I don’t know, a big deal to me?” His hand shuffled through the items in his bag. How had he lost something he’d bought like twenty minutes ago tops? “I know you don’t really need any more, but...” He groaned and turned his full attention to his school bag. “Where the hell did I put that—”
A vaguely cocoa-scented belch erupted over Yosuke’s head. “Wowie, Yosuke! That was some scrumdiddliuptious chocolate!”
Yosuke flailed backward. “Ted!” He gripped the bench, deperate not to fall. “When did you—” The shock quickly gave way to frustration. “That wasn’t for you!”
“But earlier you said you bought it to share, and Sensei already has so much!”
Yosuke crossed his arms and frowned, barely stopping himself from a full pout. He had said that in the checkout line, back when he thought he could get away with owning chocolate for at least an hour. He caught a glimpse of Kanji out of the corner of his eye. “What about Kanji, huh? Maybe he wanted some.”
Teddie wagged a finger at him. “The early bear gets the honey, Yosuke.”
“You couldn’t have waited ten more minutes?” Yosuke groaned. He flopped over the table, pulling his hood over his head and pulling the strings tight until the hood puckered around his face.
Kanji approached, looking Yosuke over. “Damn, Ted. What’d you do?”
Teddie huffed. “Why would you assume it was moi?”
Kanji leveled a frown at him. “Ain’t it always you?”
Yu gave Yosuke a small pat on the back. He leaned in close, whispering, “We can chat later.”
Despite Yosuke’s best efforts, it was another three weeks before they were alone together again. Someone had quit at Junes, and Yosuke had the misfortune of filling all their scheduled shifts. Even without that, between all their friends vying for Yu’s attention it was nearly impossible to get the guy by himself.
Yosuke had started to doubt if he even still wanted to confess. What was he going to get out of this anyway? Peace of mind? Yeah, right. Telling Yu that he liked him that way would probably just taint all their good memories together, coat them in a layer of sludge that would make Yu think twice about calling his old bestie.
Half-filled boxes lined the wall of Yu’s bedroom, reminders of the deadline in two more weeks.
“So, Yosuke,” Yu said, breaking through Yosuke’s thoughts. He handed Yosuke a soda and joined him on the couch. “What was it you wanted to tell me?”
“What?”
Yu snapped his own drink open. “Back on Valentine’s Day...?”
“You still remember that?” Yosuke pushed out a weak laugh.
“You said it was important.”
Yosuke turned the cold, green can in his hands. “I mean, I don’t know. Maybe I was overthinking it. Like, blowing it out of proportion, y’know?”
Yu bumped his shoulder against Yosuke’s. “Tell me what it is and I’ll let you know if you’re overthinking it.”
Yosuke met Yu’s eyes. They were as intense and earnest as always.
Yosuke took a deep breath. “Yu, I—”
A knock rattled Yu’s bedroom door. “Big Bro, can you help me with the stove? It’s making that weird noise again.”
Yosuke covered his face and groaned into his hands. “Again? Really?”
Yu shot Yosuke an apologetic look. “Coming, Nanako.” He leaned over, quietly adding, “Sorry. Raincheck?”
“Yeah, that’s—” Yosuke sighed, running a hand through his hair. “That’s fine.”
Yu stood up. “You wanna join us for dinner?”
Yosuke smiled in spite of himself. “You know it, Partner.”
The remaining days disappeared in a hectic whirlwind of finals, baffling weather, fending off one last world-endingly misinformed diety, and farewell party planning.
With all of these things crammed into two weeks, Yosuke’s crush seemed like little more than an insignificant distraction that occasionally tugged at the edge of his thoughts.
But now, with Yu standing before him on the train platform with his bag under his arm and a heavy smile that he struggled to hold, Yosuke realized this was it. Yu was really leaving. Sure, he’d be back to visit, but all their daily conversations and quiet moments had slipped away before Yosuke managed to truly grasp how much they’d meant to him. Before he had a chance to put those feelings into words and say them out loud.
Who was he kidding? He’d had plenty of chances to say them out loud. He was just a coward.
“Yosuke.” Yu addressed him with a nod.
“Partner.” Yosuke pushed out a grin and offered his hand. Yu clapped his own into it, as though the strength of their bond could be measured by the sting felt in their palms. “Thanks. For everything.”
“That’s my line.”
Yosuke’s grin fell to his shoes, but he gathered himself and brought his head back up. Their eyes met. Yu’s gaze felt more intense than usual somehow, and Yosuke found himself chuckling awkwardly just to avoid drowning in anxieties. “You better keep in touch, dude.”
“Likewise,” said Yu, giving him another nod.
The train pulled into station, slowing behind him until finally coming to a stop and opening the doors.
Yu hadn’t let go of Yosuke’s hand yet.
“Shoot me a text when you get home, alright?” Yosuke gave Yu’s hand a short squeeze, trying to signal for Yu to let go.
Yu didn’t.
The others wished Yu their final goodbyes, and still Yu held Yosuke’s hand hostage in a vice grip. Yosuke shot nervous glances at the rest of the team, who looked just as perplexed as he was. He turned back to Yu. “Hey, Partner?”
“Hm?”
“What are you doing?”
“Cashing in that raincheck.” As the doors began to close, Yu stepped back onto the train, hauling Yosuke in with him with such force that Yosuke stumbled into him and he had to grab one of the overhead handles to catch his balance.
The doors sealed behind them. “Dude!” Yosuke blurted out. “What the he—” He yelped as Yu pulled him further down the train’s straightline path, past another passenger, and into another car. The train lurched forward, and they nearly fell again.
The grin that stretched over Yu’s face was wild and candid, unrestrained ear-to-ear, like he hadn’t a single fuck left to give.
Yosuke’s heart leapt into his throat at the sight.
Yu quickly regained his footing, and took off again, tugging Yosuke along behind him to another car. With nothing left to lose, Yosuke matched his partner’s pace, the two of them tearing through car after car together until they tripped over each other’s feet and toppled over to the floor.
Even with the dull ache pulsing from where his shoulder hit the floor, Yosuke could only laugh when he rolled onto his back and saw Yu hovering over him, barely containing his own laughter.
“So about that thing you wanted to say to me...”
“Dammit, Yu,” Yosuke wheezed through his breathless chuckles. “You already know, don’t you?”
Yu perked a brow at him. “I have an inkling.”
“God, this is so embarrassing.”
“It’s alright,” Yu assured him. “I think we’re alone now.”
The empty car was quiet, save for the steady rhythm of the tracks below, rattling in time with the heartbeat thudding against Yosuke’s ribs.
He took Yu by the collar and yanked him down into a kiss, tense and unsteady at first, then slowly easing into the shape of his partner’s lips once it became clear that Yu had been craving that exact same thing.
After parting, Yu smiled down at him fondly. “I like you, too, Yosuke.”