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The sound of the birds chirping in the early morning as they all awoke from their good night's sleep, the sun's bright rays beaming through the curtains. As dark as they went they never fully blocked out the sun's beams. Minho always hated the day,the sun was too bright for him, his headaches would only get worse and sleepless nights didn't help. He wished it was always night, he wished the dark could stay around forever, he found comfort in it.
But of course as much as he wanted he couldn't spend every hour closed up in his dark, messy room, because eventually he closest friend, Jisung, would come dragging him out and begging him to do something. Minho hated the fact that someone else was taking care of him, it made him feel pathetic. Yet everyday his only thought was how much he wished that comforting darkness could swallow him whole until every little feeling was gone.
No one was awake, he knew that with certainty. It was 7:55 and a Saturday, why would anyone be awake?
At least it was quiet, the other's noises would always make him feel worse.
Minho shifted in his bed, turning to face the door away from the sun only to be greeted with the sight of a very tired Jisung fast asleep in his desk chair. Right, he had forgotten all about the night before. Not too soon after the memories began flooding back into his brain, the tears, the ache in his heart, Jisung's hug, his overwhelming emotions, it was just a pain to think even think about it
He stared at Jisung's peaceful sleeping face, a stark contrast to his pitiful face just last night, when he found pathetic Minho in his room doing stuff he never imagined he would do. Gosh how much he hated seeing that pity on his best friend's face, it was one of the worst sights that just so happened to replay over and over in his head.
The feeling of the bandages on his arms made him momentarily forget the image that he deemed awful, he didn't remember changing them so why did they look fresh? He then looked at the culprit who was now awake.
"Are they too tight?" Jisung asked, even in the dark his hamster eyes sparkled.
Minho shook his head in response to which Jisung sighed in relief as he just stared at him laying in bed.
"Did you sleep well?"
"I slept fine." Minho's voice came out a little more harsh than he had intended to. "sorry" he mumbled out "I didn't mean to be so rude"
"it's alright, are you hungry right now? I can go make you breakfast if you want, actually you don't get to choose i'll just go make your favorite type of pancakes" Jisung replied.
"You don't even know how to cook"
"Chan taught me, i'm sure I can do it"
Jisung's attempt was a huge failure in which they had to wake up Chan to cook them some special pancakes since they did not want to be eating burnt pancakes for breakfast. Chan had decided to leave them both alone, going straight back to sleep. Minho was glad for that.
Both of them sat side by side in silence just eating their delicious meal, it was comfortable for a bit until Jisung spoke up again.
"Are you sure you slept well? I mean you do still look very tired and the way you're up early i would suspect you didn't sleep very well. You know you can tell me what's wrong right?" Does this boy ever know when to shut up? Minho just drowned out his words until he really was being snapped back into reality when the other members started entering.
There it was again, that aching feeling in his heart that his mind couldn't catch up to, something he could never understand.
They chatted and the room quickly got noisy. He began eating quicker to go back to the comfort of his dark room only to be stopped by Jisung.
"wanna join us? We're going to watch a movie"
As much as he wanted to say no he thought maybe it would help take that aching pain away, so he ended up joining them.
The living room filled up quickly but he had already secured a spot on the couch next to his best friend. Everyone else settled in their own spots preparing for a fun morning. Jeongin had chosen the movie since it was his turn to choose, he chose a funny yet scary one.
The movie went on, the occasional laughter and commentary from his friends would be heard but Minho didn't crack a smile. That aching feeling stayed, in was the same one he felt just last night, a horrible feeling that made him want to cry and spill out everything right then and there in front of everybody.
But he couldn't, he couldn't let them see how weak and pathetic he really was. They would all start laughing in his face and call him stupid names if they found out, or maybe even leave him and let him go die in a ditch somewhere, not that he minded anyway. Surely they were already getting annoyed and tired of him and wouldn't care when the dark would swallow him.
As if to respond to his overthinking, under those bandages that covered deep wounds and scars that he had once done, some recently and others already cured, started aching those fresh red lines. It only ever provides temporary relief, that was the worst part.
He wished that the temporary relief would stay forever just like how the night time comforts him in his pure loneliness. Oh how he wished it could all swallow him whole and he would never have to feel the pain again, but it's only ever temporary.
The movie didn't do much to entertain him, only made him think about how pathetic he is and only added to the terrible aching.
Maybe he should just let the comfort of the darkness take him, he was feeling a bit tired after all and it would provide him relief, yet only temporarily.
And so he did, he let his friend's voices drown into a background noise that blended in with the movie's sounds and let the dark swallow him whole as he let his body rest against Jisung's in hopes that the aching wouldn't follow him into his comfort. If only it were true.
"Sleep tight Minho."