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It wasn’t exactly the best selling day for anybody. Race was a little disappointed in himself for not selling his goal for the day. He practically dragged himself to the lodging house, beating himself up.
When he got to the bunking room all the boys were comparing what they earned that day. When he approached it he noticed Jack had gotten home early and was on the bottom. He climbed up the ladder and laid there, his mind racing.
Earlier that day Race had received news that his dad was getting out of jail two years earlier for good behavior. He dreaded thinking about seeing his father again.
Jack had noticed race wasn’t his cheery self and didn’t say anything until it was supper time. All the guys were going to Jacobi's. But one. Race. Jack had waited for him to get out of bed. But he didn’t.
“Hey you coming, Race?” Jack had concern in his voice but didn’t think much of it. “Yea I guess.”
He didn’t sound too sure but put on a smile so no one could pity him.
He walked in the back and practically didn’t touch his food.
Albert walked up to him “all the older boys are playing poker tonight if ya wanna join. Yous prolly beat us. Every round.
“Ok but prolly not all night, I’m kinda tired.”
“Great I’ll go gets the cigars and cards” he ran off to get everything ready.
Race went back to the bunk in the corner so he could get his stuff ready for bed. Jack came over and race hopped off the ladder so he wouldn’t be in his way. “You don’t have to leave, I just forgot my hat.”
Race didn’t respond.
“Hey, is everything ok?” Jack had a feeling something was going on but he knew race wouldn’t say anything unless it got out of hand.
“Yea. Great. I have to go” Race didn’t want to have this conversation right now so he went to help Albert, leaving Jack with a concerned look.
That night race won everything, as he usually did. But he was distracted the whole time, and his poker face was the best it’s been. He went to bed happy with the 14 cents he had won (race didn’t want to take their money). He instantly went to sleep with Jack below him worried because he usually talked about their day in bed.
Race had spiraled in thought all night. Worried if he was going to have to see his dad after years, what he was going to do after he grows up and will be kicked out and other small things.
In the morning Jack was already gone because he was working today. But race didn’t get up. He couldn’t. Nobody noticed the lump in the corner because everyone was worrying about themselves.
Everyone left to go sell papes, but one person, Race. He was too lost in thought to get up or even hear anyone. When he tried to get up he couldn’t move. He laid there for hours or minutes he couldn’t tell. Race wasn’t keeping track. He sat up and curled up in a ball on his bunk. A single tear fell which turned into multiple then into full out sobbing, but no one could hear.
He didn’t know what he wanted at the moment, Jack, his mother or space. He had one do those things but he wasn’t satisfied. Jack was basically his older brother, he didn’t want to admit it but Jack was kinda a role model to him.
That’s what he wanted. Jack. The door opened, maybe his wishes came true, he looked over it was just the wind, the door was not fully closed so it blew open. Race felt stupid for hoping for something like that. When race was upset he twirled his hair but in an aggressive way. It tangled very easily because he didn’t comb it this morning.
He laid back down and waited. For hours. Hoping no one would see him like this. He cried. Silently. His fingernails digging into his arms leaving marks. He had calmed down but stayed still, not moving, creating a permanent dent in the thin mattress in the corner.
The door opens and race instantly knew who it was just by the thumping of crutchie’s crutch. Crutchie had always been home first because he can sell the fastest. Crutchie thought he was alone until race sniffed, practically making him jump out of his skin.
”Race you scared me I thought- race are you ok? Race,”
Crutchie walked as fast he could over to his bunk. He couldn’t really see because he was on the top bunk and crutchie couldn’t climb up there. “Don’t worry I’ll go get Davey. I’ll be right back.” Crutchie hurried out of the room.
Crutchie had been there countless times where race completely shut down locking everything and everyone out. But he still didn’t know how Jack got him to open up. So crutchie went and got Davey.
Davey had been selling with them for more than a year now, and had witnessed this once or twice before. Davey is pretty good with getting the other newsies to open up but not race, no one could get him to talk but Jack.
Jack was unavailable right now. So the least he could do was try. Davey had sold all of his papers and went to visit crutchie. Crutchie came as fast as he could walk, out of breath he said “It’s Race, he’s done it again. He won’t talk to me and I’m pretty sure he hasn’t eaten and I don’t know what to do-“
“It will be fine, he's gonna be ok,” Davey assured him. They both walked back at a quick pace, Davey could have walked faster but he didn’t want to leave crutchie behind.
Race had felt relieved when crutchie left. With his eyes swollen, hair tangled and half his body freezing and the other sweaty he had thought of his mother. She would be disappointed in him. She disapproved of smoking, gambling and lying, which made race feel terrible and everything held him back from crying, because he knew he was an expert on all of those things and did them daily. He was taken aback when his mother was holding him in their bed, humming.
Davey and crutchie had sped up the stairs to discover race in the same spot. “I’ll try to talk to him, why don’t you get him some food and water.”
Albert had gotten back and felt bad because he usually checked up on race. But he stopped after a little while, Al doesn’t know why he just didn’t. Albert pushed Davey out of the way to talk to race but was too harsh.
“Race you gotta get up man, yous gotta go sell if ya don’t you’ll be kicked out.” He tried to be thoughtful but it came off as demanding.
Davey kicked him out and read him a book. It usually worked for the others but not race. Race couldn’t really understand because he was too lost in thought.
Crutchie walked in with some water. “Al, why don’t you wait until Jack gets out then help Davey sell race shares of Papes so he doesn’t get booted.”
Davey walked out and Al followed. One by one the other newsies came back but didn’t do anything, but watch.
Crutchie had hopped up the ladder and rubbed races back. Crutchie knew the lullaby his mother sang him because Jack told him just in case this happened. Race just closed his eyes and cried silently. All he wanted was Jack. But he couldn’t say that.
Crutchie set down a sandwich and Jack came busting in with Al and Davey followed. Jack had kicked everyone out. Race appreciated that. Jack's voice soothed him. It was a sound of comfort, home, and familiarity.
Jack had brushed through his hair that was tangled. Race had a really bad habit of biting his lip when he was upset, and Jack noticed.
Jack had just talked and Race slowly began to answer more clearly and open up.
“Would you like to talk about it?” Jack had hoped he would answer but nothing.
They laid there for a while until race moved just a bit to see the letter under race. He reached for it and race didn’t stop him. Jack carefully read about the news of his father. “Race, I'm so sorry I- I didn’t know…is that the only thing that’s bothering you?”
Race shook his head. Slowly Race began to explain how he didn’t know what he was going to do and he was scared of his father and how he would be such a disappointment to his mother if she was still alive.
Jack just listened and that’s all he needed. Someone to hear him. He slowly rolled out of bed and buried his face into Jack. Race needed a while to be able to talk to other people. But he stuck to Jack like glue all night.
Later all the other newsies were sleeping and race and Jack were still awake. With Jack on the bottom bunk and race on the top. Jack could hear race tossing and turning.
“Hey are you awake?” Jack wanted to make sure he was alright.
“Yea” his voice sounded shaky like he had been crying.
Jack got up and climbed up into his bed with him. Race buried his face into Jack. He felt safe and comfortable.
“I was a little scared.” Race had muffled
“Why?” Jack wondered if there was anything else bothering him.
“Because a little bit ago there was this really scary monster under my bed.” Knowing Jack was below him a little bit ago.
Jack just laughed and was glad he was back to his normal self. Race fell asleep right after Jack hummed the same lullaby his mother did. Jack felt this sense of relief and also fell asleep. Next to each other they both had the best sleep they have had in a long time.
In the morning Jack had made sure race got out of bed and was ready to go sell. That day they sold together so Jack could make sure Race was ok.
The endddddd :D