Chapter Text
sin, Oh sin,
Please, I beg of thee …
… wouldn’t it be nice to have a casino in Hell?
Slight came to Ire’s domain every fucking day. It was terrible.
There was no passing of time in its domain. It was just darkness, darkness, darkness. No sun nor moon to tell the time, and neither would Ire tolerate any sort of clock. Ire never tolerated anything in its domain. Never. Anything or anyone here came against Ire’s will.
…… Well, Slight was technically here with permission. But it was getting repetitive. Ire never cared for the passage of time, but they surely knew now, because Slight would come the same time every day.
Drugs. Every fucking day. Drugs drugs drugs. Ire was sick of it.
And yet, for some reason, they still entertained Slight.
Not today. No.
Ire stepped up to a pond begrudgingly. They hated the sinners that were here. They were probably something like Litany's Guilles, but it didn't care. They were always so terribly annoying. It was good they were usually dead, Ire thought, as they kicked at one of the sinners' head. It was frozen solid, under a thick layer of ice. Ire stares at it for a moment before dissipating into smoke, and possessing the sinner's body.
Ire could possess dead bodies. It came natural to it. Bodies of those fallen to Wrath were especially easier- alive or dead, in that case. Ire could pass from one body to another in each body of 'water' in its domain with ease, idly moving deeper and deeper into the pond. Eventually, it slipped out of the last frozen body, sitting at the bottom of the pond, barely physical.
Each lake was deep. It was made up of hundreds of dozens of sinners, all fighting to reach the surface and push the others down. Yet there were also hundreds that lay at the bottom idly, not caring for the water filling their lungs, nor the lack of oxygen in a place with no plants. Neither did they care for the boiling temperatures of the water when they were alive to feel it- they simply let the others push them down, thinking they might do everyone a favour by not encouraging hurting others directly. It was idiotic. Stupid. Ire hated those sinners the most.
Yet as Ire sat at the bottom of the lake, staring directly at the frozen face of a sinner just like that, they felt nothing.
No anger. No nothing. Because those were the only fucking options Ire had.
Anger. Nothing.
It pissed Ire off. That they knew nothing but anger, anger but nothing. That Carnation could talk about paradise, that Mime could talk about feeling 'good', and Ire knew nothing about it.
As the water heated up and the sinner in front of Ire slowly began to wake, Ire felt the same anger it had known its entire life grow in its stomach. It didn't care about the boiling water, it just wanted this man dead.
So much for feeling nothing.
It was so damn repetitive.
Claws grasp at the sinner's neck. Their face infuriated Ire. They were already choking on the water, so being strangled barely did anything, and that only served to piss Ire off more. It ripped at the sinner's skin, watching the blood mix with the viscous lake for a moment before continuing to tear at the man's face until they were completely disfigured. Ire barely cared to pay enough attention to know exactly when they died. Nobody around them cared, either. Ire clenches its teeth, and pushes the body away, but it only moves so far in the water. Annoyed, it creates chains to weigh it down, maybe chain the body down to another spot, but it was so unbelievably slow that Ire couldn't help but disfigure the body more. Eventually, Ire realized the domain had cooled down and frozen again, the body along with it. They were already losing their colour, especially with the incredible blood loss, and Ire watched in silence. Nothing.
Ire killed a man and nothing changed. They were just back to sitting at the bottom of the lake, doing nothing yet again. They calmed down, sure, but now they were just back to square one. They didn't really know what they were trying to do by killing the guy. His blank face just annoyed Ire.
It was so repetitive.
Everything annoyed Ire. Ire hated this place. Hated this domain. Hated this lake. Hated this soul. Hated this everything. Ire hated everything.
No. Ire didn't hate everything.
But it didn't know anything but hate.
"Iree?"
Ire hadn't noticed Slight had entered its domain. They usually noticed visitors, since nobody was welcome, but they were barely used to Slight being allowed in. It grumbles, dissipating a little into smoke.
Unfortunately for Ire, they were not dense.
"Ire," Slight calls, tapping at the frozen water of the pond Ire had hidden itself in. "I know you're in there. You're terrible at hiding yourself once I know your tricks."
"..."
"Ire, come on."
"I don't want your fucking drugs," Ire finally says. It's difficult to become physical in the frozen lake. They project their voice through their domain, since they know Slight couldn’t hear them otherwise.
"We both know you don't mean that, love," Slight hums in response. Ire doesn't care to see what she does, glaring at the ground they sit on. "It's alright. Today, I had something different in mind! I figured you might get tired of just pills all the time. Of course, I did bring your favourites."
Different? “What are you on about?”
Slight chuckles. “How about I tell you, eye-to-eye, face-to-face?”
“….”
Begrudgingly, Ire ‘swims’ to the surface. They take a moment to appear at the surface, starting to feel upset. They had told themself that they wouldn't entertain Slight this time, they wouldn't give her the time of day, and yet —
They don’t materialize at first, but Slight waits, pretending not to notice the buildup of smoke. Eventually, with a groan, Ire slowly shapes its form and sits atop one of the frozen sinner’s backs. Slight ‘smiles’, standing idly with her hands on her waist. She’s brought her briefcase just as always, and nothing else.
“So?” Ire glares up at Slight.
Slight seems to enjoy the attention. “What? Already sick of my products?”
“Yes.”
“You wound me.”
“Good.”
“Someone’s cranky,” Slight laughs, and takes out a pill bottle anyways, holding it out to Ire. Ire snatches it from their hands, holding it in its own for a moment.
“Shut the fuck up,” they growl, gripping the container hard. Their claws dig into the plastic until it breaks, the pills falling out into its palm. Ire only glowers at them. “Fuck you.”
“At least take me out to dinner first,” Slight responds, earning a sharp glare from Ire. “Not funny?”
“Never.”
"What'd I expect?" she sighs, very discreetly just so glancing at Ire's direction. They stare at each other in silence as Ire stuffs the pills all at once into its mouth. Slight seems content. "Taste good?"
"It tastes like nothing."
"It'll take time to kick in."
"It never does."
"Yet you let me in anyways."
A part of Ire knew Slight was right. A part of Ire knew Slight was wrong.
Ire glances at Slight, who is humming quietly to itself, fiddling with something in her briefcase. Her products never worked. Ire knew that. There was no way 'drugs' could ever work on Ire- Ire had no body to intoxicate, no blood to have alcohol in. No stomach for the pills to go to. Neither did Slight, but they worked on her because she was basically made for this. It was her purpose. It wasn't Ire's.
Yet, in these moments, Ire felt a sensation it never did before.
Ire was never truly physical. It was always just an illusion, a bunch of smoke haphazardly put together to make up a random shape it called itself. Slight had a body, Slight had blood. Ire was just smoke. That's why it couldn't use syringes, no matter how much it tried. No matter if it were possessing a dead man or not. Because a dead man can't get drunk.
Ire was as good as a dead man.
But, in these moments, Ire could feel itself relax. Despite having no muscle, no flesh to actually relax, no brain to receive signals, Ire could feel any sort of tension fade, as it stared at Slight idly. It was ironic- as sinners stared at Slight, it strained their eyes, caused them more pain than good- but Ire felt good. Maybe.
It was probably the pills. Ire just happened to look at Slight whenever they'd kick in. She sort of drew attention her way, anyways.
"....."
Ire couldn't bear to look away.
A dead man like itself yearned for any sort of life. Slight gave Ire life. They didn't want to let go of that.
"Feel it working?"
Ire blinks. It hadn't noticed Slight was watching them curiously, with a hint of amusement. They shoot him a glare.
"No."
"You're not Stem, love. There's no harm in telling a little truth every so often."
"I'm not lying. It never works anyways."
Ire hated the idea of depending on Slight.
"Stop changing the subject. What did you mean by 'something different'?"
"Hm? Oh, yeah," Slight chuckles, shutting her briefcase and standing up straight. "We're going to a casino!"
Ire stares at Slight.
"What?"
Ire had no body. It had no lungs. No brain. No blood. But it did have a heart.
And its heart could never leave its domain.
So, Ire had lived its entire existence there. The endless empty swamps, the occasional hill, occasional mountain. The strong, cold winds coming from nowhere, the utter silence. Ire had only recently found that it could create small pockets in the air. If it tried hard enough, it could pry open a little opening in the atmosphere that'd let it into wherever it wanted. But only for so long, only so often. Meeting with Slight so many times had, admittedly, tired it out a little, so that had been a (minor) part of the reason it chose not to leave for so long.
Ire hated its domain. It was empty, hollow. It reminded Ire of itself.
Empty. Hollow.
It hated that.
Only when Ire felt the annoyance simmer into something more was it not empty. And it was just the flames of its anger, the ones that melted away the ice and spread. It was hard to get excited over useless fucking flames. It was hard not to find the screaming and shouting annoying, too.
And that was all there was. Emptiness. Flames. Screaming. Shouting. That was all. That was all Ire could tolerate. Everything else was stupid. Meaningless. Seriously, who would make little paper stars to pretend to be actual ones so that they could mimic stargazing whilst on the only thing they could call 'pretty' in its domain, the only hill that, for some reason, was soft and round rather than hard and edged, that had grass rather than hard 'gravel' and charred embers, that was far from any lake or any structure, that was-
..The hill ….
… Occasionally, there was something in Ire's domain. Ire barely acknowledged those somethings. They never really mattered, because they never had anything anyways. No meaning, no nothing.
Slight hummed, holding up her hand and making small motions whilst looking at the sky, at Him. Ire watched in disinterest. She seemed to be measuring the distance to something. Eventually, after standing in silence, Slight put her glove back on and turned to Ire cheerfully. "Okay! Here, follow me."
"You do know I can't leave my domain, right?" Slight starts walking, and Ire follows behind, the smoke slithering against the ground lightly. Slight only hums in response.
"Yes. But we're not leaving your domain, love," Slight says matter-of-factly. She's walking in a direction Ire recognizes. There was something that way, but it wasn't a casino …
Ire squints its eyes in the general direction Slight is going. Nothing, for miles and miles. "It's my domain. I know there's nothing there."
"Mhm?"
Ire glances at Slight, who doesn't look back. It snarls. "Are you doubting me?"
Slight laughs. "No. But I do know that there is certainly something over there."
"..." Ire grumbles. "You've literally never been there."
"It's alright. I know a lot of things, love."
Ire takes note of how Slight hides her gloved hand, and how it seems a little more damp than it was a few seconds ago.
There were sometimes cracks in Ire's domain. They were always too small to amount to anything, yet too deep to go anywhere. Ire had tried to escape through there sometimes. They'd nearly asphyxiate each time. It was nothing.
Yet, for some reason, this time, in place of the crack was a casino.
It was difficult to see things on the horizon. Slight was distracting, and, for some reason, kept handing Ire pills. They did nothing, but Ire wasn't looking forward- instead focused on the pills in the palm of its hand. It wasn't until they were at the casino's doorstep did they notice. It really should've come much earlier, though, since it was Ire's domain- Ire knew of everyone and everything that came here, whenever. Yet it hadn't noticed anything. And here they were.
The casino wasn't too tall, wasn't too short. It definitely towered over Slight, but Ire could probably create a body as tall if it wanted to (it didn't). It was almost loud and obnoxious, but only with its lights. For some reason, the walls were bedazzled with little lights, and the ground had floor spotlights. There were still swamps around, and the light reflected off the surfaces of the ice, illuminating parts of the sinners Ire had never seen before. The building itself did seem rather small to Ire, but it was hard to focus on that when it was a wonder by itself how the casino got here in the first place.
And, for some reason, for the first time, Ire found a place in its domain that was naturally warm. As if that made it better.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Slight’s smile is audible, and she gently holds out a hand for Ire. Ire stares at it for a moment. It’s her right hand - which was odd, because every sin was left-handed. Perhaps it was different with taints, but the right hand was the righteous hand of Him. They almost hesitate to take it. But eventually, Ire materializes, and Slight takes that opportunity to grab their hand excitedly. “Good sin, are you slow. Come on!”
Slight immediately clutches their hand tight and almost runs inside, dragging Ire along with her. “—Hey!”
She giggles in response. “I haven’t been to a casino in so long, love, forgive me for being a little excited.”
Ire just stands there, completely bewildered. The inside is almost brighter than the outside, much to Ire’s surprise— they’d never seen such light unrelated to Him before, much less in their own domain. The walls were a dark golden colour with sparkling gold pillars and rounded ceiling, with a glass chandelier hanging in the middle. It was larger than it looked on the outside, with different sections for what Ire assumed to be different types of games. Immediately to the left of them was an—empty— cashier’s cage, and underneath them was a soft, embroidered red carpet with gold accents. Everything here was unknown to Ire. “How did you—“
“Ooh, we don’t have money to gamble, do we?” Slight interjects, staring at the empty cashier’s cage. “I didn’t think about that.”
“You didn’t—“
“And there’s barely any currency useful to us, either,” she sighs, thinking out loud and completely ignoring Ire, putting a finger to her eye and tapping her.. ‘chin’. “That makes it lose so much value, doesn’t it? Hmm…”
“Slight, you—“
“I wonder if sin accounted for that.”
sin? “You asked sin to make this place?”
“Huh? Yeah,” Slight finally turns to face Ire, staring at them as if it were obvious. “How else would I have conjured a casino out of nowhere?”
“Why the hell would you do that??”
“Didn’t I tell you?” Slight tilts her eye. “I figured you’d want something a little different. And, you know, I’m not just addicted to drugs,” Slight laughs lightly, turning and beginning to walk to one of the sections. Ire stutters, taken completely off guard.
sin wasn’t… well, sin wasn’t a distant being to them, but neither was sin very close to them. Ire never considered talking to sin, much less asking them for anything …
And Slight asked sin to make a casino in Ire’s domain? Just to change things up a little?
… The casino was very warm inside. The walls blocked the endless cold winds. Ire stared at Slight, and that weird, terrible feeling came back. They quickly follow behind in her footsteps.
"Slight!"
She stops, turning to face Ire. "Hm?"
"Look, I-" why were they wording it so softly? Ire takes a breath. "I'm not- I never agreed to this??"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not going to just- play random-ass games with you just- just because you want to! Just because sin agreed to make a fucking casino in my domain, without my permission, mind you! What the hell- what the hell gives you the right to start building shit here??"
Slight doesn’t respond immediately. "Hm," she stares at Ire, before sighing and looking to the side. "Well, I suppose you're right, aren't you?
Ire stutters. Stutters. Fuck. "Don't fucking give me that look."
Slight sighs again, this time more dramatically. "What look? I'm not even looking at you, love."
"I- I told you to stop calling me that-?!"
Ire was losing its composure. It was obvious to the both of them.
Yet, over what?
I won't let Slight get the better of me. This- this stops now.
Ire steps closer. Slight stares at them. "You're giving mixed signals here, babe."
Ire growls. "That name isn't any better."
"You're right," Slight chuckles. "It's why I more commonly use 'love'. It gives people the sense of what He gives sinners, doesn't it? Not that you'd know."
Rage boils deep within Ire. It can hear faint groaning from outside the casino. It takes another step towards Slight. "I hate you."
Slight only hums. "I know."
Ire grabs Slight by the collar of her shirt, bringing her closer and growling in their face– well, eye. "You're not taking this seriously."
She makes a strained chuckle. "Yeah? You think so?"
"Yes," Ire's grip tightens. "Do I need to remind you whose domain you're currently in?"
"Depends on what kind of reminder we're talking about here."
That annoys Ire greatly.
It suddenly throws Slight to the side, into one of the shitty slot machines. She makes a hard landing, and Ire can hear the machine break. Slight groans. "Fuck.."
Ire doesn't look at her, clenching its fists. "I'm kicking you from my domain. Don't ever come back."
Yet a part of Ire screams that–
"Huh?" Slight sits up a little, making a pained sound as she does so. Ire glances at him.
She's a mess. She looks frazzled, even. Already is he bleeding, the wrecked machine poking at her skin, her flesh, her blood. Some of her bandages have come undone, and light beads of sweat form. The machine itself isn't so bad, but Ire did throw her with such force that it definitely could not be working, lightly crushed under Slight's weight. But, despite its initial looks, is stronger than Slight's flesh.
Flesh. Meat. Blood. Bones.
Ire looks away.
Slight lets out a weak laugh. "Did- did you hate the casino idea so much?"
"I hate you so much."
"Ouch."
"Shut up!" Ire creates a dagger, quickly throwing it at Slight in a fit of rage. It lodges itself in Slight's shoulder.
"Grgk-!" Slight quickly puts a hand to her shoulder, apply pressure as the blood seeps through her fingers. The dagger, made of Ire itself, dissipates into smoke, and she stares at the wound. "Fff- fuck. Haha."
"Does that hurt?"
"It does-" her voice is strained, and she lets out a breath. "But you don't know what pain feels like, do you?"
Ire twitches. A scream rings out from outside, followed by the same yelling that Ire's come to associate with this intense anger. It stomps over quickly, before promptly kicking Slight in the side. She reflexively moves a hand to hold that part, making a choked, pained sound, as her bloody hand stains her clothes and more blood escapes the wound in his shoulder. Ire leans in. "Then tell me. How does that feel, Slight? If you want to help me feel so goddamn bad?"
"Hhhah.." Slight breathes. It doesn't respond immediately. "E- exquisite," she manages eventually. "Th- the best I've felt. Ever."
Right.
In Ire's fit of rage, they'd forgotten that Slight was into this.
"Is that so?" Ire narrows its gaze. It morphs its 'hand' into a blade, putting it up to Slight's skin and lightly cutting into it. She keens. "The best you've ever felt?"
His response is delayed, under heavy breaths. "Yes."
"Tch," Ire slices a bit of flesh off, causing Slight to make a pained yelp, having let her guard down. It stands up and turns around with little hesitation, moving to walk out. "I hate you."
"I-" Slight starts, but is cut off by a hiss of pain as they try to follow. Ire doesn't stop.
Ire meant it when they said that they hated her. It always did. They didn't lie. It was hard to, anyways, when all they felt was hate anyways.
Yet, this time, a small part of Ire was screaming from within- a small voice in its head, telling it-
"I- Ire."
Ire felt a disturbance. It turns to find Slight, uselessly grasping at the smoke that was Ire. She had, no doubt, teleported, but her legs were weak and blood already formed a puddle underneath her.
"Don't go. Please?"
She wasn't even looking at Ire. It opens its mouth to respond, but notices something.
Slight’s hand, her left- was now exposed, as they held onto nothing— Ire. Ire could now see how blood dripped from it, a deep gash that wasn’t there before, that Ire had not cut. It’s then it realizes — sin. It was sin’s way of punishing Slight for even daring to do what Ire now reprimands her for. And this, this made Ire feel things.
They felt angry. Furious. Livid.
Hatred. Disgust. Horror. Awe. Disbelief.
How - how could Ire ever even begin to comprehend-
Ire shakes off Slight's hand and sneers at her. "Look at you. What, have you formed a dependency on me?"
They hate how their voice trembles ever so slightly.
Slight gives an eventual nod. "Yes," she answers with little hesitation. Her legs shake, and blood stains the carpet. Her breathing is ragged.
Ire narrows its eyes. "You just see me as one of your drugs, don't you? Another way to get that little high that you crave so much."
"...." Slight takes a moment to respond. She coughs. "I- I didn't think that mattered to you."
Ire pauses. It shouldn't. It never did. Not before-
"Shut up."
"Make me."
"You have some nerve," Ire growls, pulling Slight by her collar and forcing her to look at them, "For someone who can't even fucking stand up straight."
Slight chokes lightly on her own spit. "Are you trying to change the subject, love?"
"...." Ire's grip tightens. "Stop fucking calling me that." Ire hates it.
"So you are," Slight hums. "Is there something you want to tell me, Ire?"
"I don't see how there could be," they grumble.
"Like, I don't know.." Slight looks to the side lazily. "Have you perhaps .. felt something other than anger, Ire?"
"..." A pause. "No."
"I don't like it when you lie, love."
"And I don't like it when you treat me like a fucking child!" Ire hurls Slight back to the ground, it cracking underneath her with the sheer force used– it was hard for them to restrain their power in their domain. Slight makes a small shriek. "You seem to forget whose domain you're in. Who you're at the mercy of."
Slight doesn’t respond. She can't seem to get up this time, and Ire huffs. They clench their fists, and, for some reason, step closer.
"Fine. Fucking fine. Yes, I have been fucking feeling things I've never felt before. I couldn't ever name them. Whether they're because of your stupid fucking drugs, I don't know. But what I do know is-" Ire kicks at Slight's leg, and she jumps in surprise. "Every time I fucking look at your pathetic ass I feel different. It isn't anger, but it isn't nothing. And- and that's the only reason I keep you around. The only reason I pretend to like those stupid fucking drugs of yours. So don't overstep your fucking boundaries."
Ire takes a moment to breathe. They continue, stepping on and grinding into Slight's knee painfully- "But, for your information, it isn't working now. In fact, just looking at your sorry, pathetic excuse for a sin right now only fills me with hate. If that wasn't obvious by the bastards yelling outside. So don't act like you have any fucking use to me. Because you don't. You're nothing."
"..." Slight sits there, dazed. She stares at Ire for a moment, before looking down, and then looking back up again. "..Ire?"
"What could you possibly want?"
"Do you .. have feelings for me?"
"What?"
"I mean.. you said it was something you felt when looking at me, and that you wanted me around because of it, and you also seem to hate seeing me hurt, and-"
The words fade away in Ire's mind, numbed by the shock of Slight's words.
I ……
"No, I.. couldn't."
But they could.
That's what they wanted, after all.