Chapter Text
Today, Gojo Satoru was going to die.
He stood in his penthouse kitchen at six-thirty in the morning, staring at the coffee maker while it sputtered and hissed in the quiet apartment.
The place was spacious, floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city below, expensive furniture arranged in perfect taste. Satoru had money and never saw a reason not to spend it.
Usually, though, it was a disaster.
A jacket draped over a chair. Papers scattered across the kitchen island. A half-finished bag of candy abandoned somewhere he’d eventually forget about.
Not today.
Today, the counters gleamed. The dishes were put away. The laundry was folded into neat piles instead of living in baskets for weeks at a time.
On the dining room table there was an envelope with his will neatly written and labelled.
The coffee maker gave a final beep.
He poured it into a chipped mug and took a sip, he winced realizing he made it too strong and decided to dump a few spoonfuls of milk and sugar into it to make it bearable. Unlike the day ahead.
Satoru’s phone lit up as he unlocked it to review messages while he was asleep, or trying to sleep. Turns out the night before your planned death was not the most calming to sleep through.
Most of the notifications were from Ijichi, updates from the higher-ups that needed to be passed down to staff members and students. Instead of answering them his eyes landed on the other messages from Megumi.
Gumi-bear: Don’t forget you’re supposed to review my mission report today.
Gojo stared at it, a familiar feeling crawled up his throat and settled heavily behind his ribs.
Gojo Satoru: Of course, do I ever forget important things? 😚
Gumi-bear: Yes. 8am.
Gojo Satoru: See you then
For most of his life, Satoru had never really considered his death. He was familiar with it, he was constantly surrounded by it since a teen and until recently, he felt invincible and everybody else saw him as that as well. Lately though, he would lay in bed for hours staring at the ceiling while his fan clicked rhythmically next to him. His mind wandered; Who would find him? Would they scream? Would they stand there in silence? Would his funeral be small? Who would actually show up instead of sending flowers and excuses? Would Shoko have the strength to cremate him the way he couldn't when Suguru died? Would his gravestone read ‘Satoru Gojo’ or ‘Gojo Satoru’?
His fingers tightened around the mug, the ceramic warm against his palms. He took another sip, it had already gone lukewarm.
Funny how priorities change, from sixteen to twenty-six.
Satoru changed into his teaching uniform to head to Jujutsu High, placing the empty mug in the dishwasher and eyed the linen closet in the hallway as he passed it. Inside was 15 meters of thick rope he had bought at the hardware store two weeks ago when he decided on December 15th, 2019.
Instead of lingering he grabbed his keys and headed out the door.
“Since we're already going to the shopping district, why don't we stop by the new Uniqlo that opened up?”
Satoru stood in the classroom doorway, one hand resting against the frame as he watched Nobara and Yuji argue before class had even started.
Nobara had both palms planted firmly on Yuji's desk, leaning over him with an irritated look on her face.
“The movie starts at five-thirty, Kugisaki. We still have to buy popcorn before it starts.”
Yuji leaned back in his chair, gesturing dramatically as sunlight poured through the windows and illuminated the side of his face.
Nobara scoffed.
“Then we'll go after the movie. Besides, none of us even want to watch Human Earthworm 4. That's literally just you.”
“Take that back.”
“It looks awful.”
“It does not!”
“It absolutely does.”
Yuji immediately pointed across the room.
“Fushiguro wants to see it too!”
“Don’t drag me into this”
Megumi groaned, he had his cheek resting in the palm of his hand looking out the window instead of participating in the conversation.
Satoru almost laughed.
As much as he would've loved to stand there and continue eavesdropping, he supposed he had to at least pretend to start class.
He clapped his hands together.
“Good morning my dear students!”
Nobara immediately dropped into her seat rolling her eyes at Yuji and sticking her tongue out.
“What are we fighting about today?”
“We're all going to Shibuya after school,” Nobara said, pointing accusingly at Yuji. “He wants to watch some disgusting body horror movie, but there's a new store literally right beside the theatre. It'll take five minutes to check it out.”
“It’s never five minutes with you Kugisaki!”
Satoru couldn't help but feel his heart sink.
God.
He was going to miss this.
He shoved the thought away before it could settle.
Megumi looked up then, still ignoring the bickering, eyes narrowing slightly.
“What's with your face?”
Satoru let a grin plastered on his face, he was glad that he had a blindfold because he was sure the smile didn’t reach his eyes.
“What's with whose face, 'gumi?”
He teased leaning against the desk.
Megumi just mumbled something under his breath and went back to looking out the window.. Satoru looked at his students and wanted to leave some good memories with these kids so cleared his throat and spoke using his heart not his head.
“How about we all go to the shopping district now?”
The room fell silent.
“We can check out Nobara's precious new store, buy some sweets, wander around a bit, and then you guys can watch your movie later without rushing.”
Satoru wasn’t sure why he said that, maybe he just wanted one more day. Maybe he wanted it to feel at least a little different from yesterday, and the day before that.
Yuji raised his eyebrows high and grinned jumping out of his seat and Nobara eyed Satoru suspiciously.
“Really? You would do that Gojo-sensei?”
“Don't we have class?” Nobara added. “Is it your birthday or something?”
Gojo feigned offense as he brought his hand to his chest and gripped the fabric dramatically.
“Is it so wrong that I simply wish to spend quality time with my favourite first years?”
Megumi finally spoke again. “You don’t do this without ulterior motives, what's going on? Are there curses in Shibuya?”
“Nope,” Gojo said popping the ‘P’
“A test?” Megumi continued.
Satoru shook his head, stepping forward to ruffle Megumi’s hair.
“No motives! Let’s go before Yaga catches me taking you three on an unauthorized field trip.”
Nobara and Yuji were already grabbing their things.
“Shotgun front seat!” Yuji yelled.
“You're not calling shotgun in Gojo-sensei's car!” Nobara snapped.
“I already did!”
“I'm sitting in the front.”
“You sat there last time!”
They disappeared into the hallway still bickering.
Satoru adjusted his blindfold before following after them when he felt a tug on his sleeve.
“Is everything okay?”
Satoru looked back at Megumi’s serious face, his eyebrows pulled together slightly with lines creasing which he only did when he was trying to figure something out. Satoru felt the same acidic feeling in his throat but swallowed and smiled.
“Why do you ask?”
Megumi hesitated, then let go of the sleeve, then walked past Satoru.
“You’ve been…” His voice trailed off before he let go of Satoru’s sleeve.
“Nevermind, remember to check my report when we get back.”
Megumi turned and started walking away.
Satoru watched him disappear down the hallway toward Yuji and Nobara.
The smile he'd been wearing all morning finally slipped.
Just for a second.
Then he put it back on and followed after his students.
The Shibuya shopping district was busy even on a random Tuesday morning.
Women carrying shopping bags walked side by side, laughing between snippets of gossip. Salarymen hurried past with coffee in one hand and briefcases in the other, glancing anxiously at their watches every few steps. Store employees stood outside entrances greeting customers while giant digital billboards flashed overhead.
“Here! It's this way!”
Nobara walked several steps ahead of everyone else, weaving through the crowd with complete confidence. Once they reached the store Satoru raised an eyebrow at the name, it sounded American.
The building was sleek and modern, large glass windows displaying neatly folded clothing and mannequins dressed in neutral colours.
“Uniq-low? When did this open?” He asked, tilting his head.
“Like a week ago, come on!” Nobara grinned, tugging Megumi.
Before anyone could head inside, Satoru reached out and tapped Yuji's shoulder. He was ruffling through his wallet before pulling out a sleek black card and handed it over.
“All of you get something.”
Satoru laughed as Yuji’s eyes widened.
“Huh?”
“Anything you want.”
Yuji blinked.
“Oh… Gojo-sensei, we couldn't-”
“Speak for yourself.”
Nobara snatched the card out of Yuji’s hand and headed into the store waving her hand at Satoru,
“Thank you, sensei.”
“Kugisaki!”
Yuji yelled back before quickly bowing again at Gojo and heading after her.
“What? He’s rich anyways.” Nobara called back with a laugh.
Yuji turned to look at Gojo who waved his hand dismissively.
“Don’t worry Yuji-kun, I can afford it.”
Yuji and Megumi looked back puzzled at their sensei but followed Nobara anyways saying they’ll be back out in an hour if lucky.
In the meantime, Satoru sat outside on a bench near the storefront with his blindfold pushed up onto his forehead. His Six Eyes usually fed him more information than he ever wanted, cursed energy signatures, microscopic details, endless data that never stopped pouring into his brain. Without the blindfold it was a different story.
A group of teenage boys in school uniforms walked by laughing obnoxiously, one of them carrying his blazer over his shoulder instead of wearing it. They were probably skipping class.
A woman pushing a stroller passed next.
She was texting one-handed while absentmindedly rocking the stroller back and forth whenever it slowed down. There were cartoon stickers decorating the back of her phone case, some children's show he'd vaguely seen advertised before.
Further down the sidewalk, an elderly man stood arguing with a salesperson outside a store.
“No, no, you're pointing me toward Harajuku.”
“Sir, that's the opposite direction.”
“Impossible.”
“Sir…”
Satoru felt the corners of his eyes sting. He had spent so many years above this life, living like a deity he had nearly forgotten. What life could’ve been. What it could’ve been with Suguru.
The first tear escaped, rolling down his cheek as Satoru quickly wiped it away.
Seriously?
Out here?
Crying in public?
He tilted his head back against the bench and squeezed his eyes shut. Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer of the modern era couldn’t even be alone for half an hour with his own thoughts.
His brain felt like a broken record.
Notice me. Stop looking. Notice me. Don’t look. Help me. Leave me. Look at me. Please. Please. I don't want to do this.
Iwantsomeonetostopme. Iwantsomeonetostopme. Iwantsomeoneto-
“Sensei!”
Satoru instantly pulled his blindfold down concealing the wetness of his eyes and the world was veiled into darkness again.
He made sure to put a smile on his face as his three students approached, Yuji carrying four shopping bags in his hands while Nobara had one and Megumi walked with his hands shoved deep in his pockets
“Well, well, well.”
Satoru leaned back against the bench.
“Looks like I need to check my bank account.”
Yuji immediately looked guilty.
A faint pink colour crept into his face.
“I tried to tell her to chill out on the shopping, Sensei, but—”
“—But I got the cutest stuff for everyone, so you're going to stop being a little rat, Itadori.”
Nobara plopped her bag down beside Satoru.
She rummaged through it before pulling out a cream-coloured t-shirt with a pokémon design printed across the front
“Yuji picked this one.”
Satoru held it up, nodding thoughtfully.
“I prefer Digimon, but I suppose this is an acceptable use of my money.”
Nobara rolled her eyes and reached back into the bag.
She grabbed a black jacket with two animated characters on the back of it that Satoru vaguely remembered as some anime that Nobara liked, mana? Nana?
“This is for me, isn’t it cute?”
Satoru threw a thumbs up as Yuji looked at the jacket touching the fur around the hood and Nobara swatted his hand away.
Satoru looked at Megumi who was standing back watching Satoru very carefully like he knew something was wrong, it made Satoru feel nervous for some reason. Him, the strongest.
“And did my ‘gumi-chan get anything?”
Nobara nodded, reaching into the bag again and pulling out a black t-shirt with a traditional art design of a tiger on it. It was really nice and seemed like something Megumi would actually wear.
“I didn't know my ward was secretly a fashionista.”
“I picked it-”
Nobara interrupted before pulling out one more thing and tossing it on Satoru’s lap. He looked down at the sunglasses, a pair with dark lenses and a simple black frame.
“We know your eyes are sensitive.”
She shrugged.
“Megumi saw them and said you should have them.”
Satoru stared at his lap and then looked up at Megumi, he tried not to let his lower lip tremble.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Not now. Please not now.
He took a breath before laughing light heartedly.
“Awe, so he does care about me!”
“Shuddup,”
Megumi’s ears were slightly pink, even when he was little he had done that. His ears would turn a bright red whenever he got embarrassed and everytime Satoru would point it out teasingly he would clap his hands over them and glare. Eventually he grew his hair long enough to hide them.
“Alright then.”
He pointed toward Yuji, who was still carrying an absurd number of bags.
“And what's all that?”
Nobara spun around immediately.
“Oh.”
A grin spread across her face.
“That's all mine.”
Yuji groaned and Nobara immediately started arguing.
Satoru let himself sit there for a moment, allowing them to bicker with each other.
Because somewhere deep down, underneath all the noise in his head, there was a small, selfish part of him that was desperately trying to memorize the sound.
The group eventually ended up at a local sweets shop.
It was small and warm inside, the windows fogged slightly from the difference between the winter air outside and the heaters running indoors. Soft music played overhead while customers sat around chatting quietly over drinks and desserts.
Satoru, naturally, had nearly ordered half the menu.
There were mochi, parfaits, cheesecakes, tiramisu, cream puffs, pancakes and several drinks spread across the table.
Everyone began to dig in laughing and talking about Christmas coming up and their plans.
Despite being the biggest sweet tooth in the room, Satoru found himself staring at the spread without touching any of it.
The thought of this being his last meal with all his students made him feel sick, they had no idea what Satoru was going to do when he got home that evening and they would have no idea until someone found him.
He disappeared for days at a time, how long would it be until Shoko decided to swing by or Ijichi used the spare key? He might be there for days before anybody decided to go see.
Because he was the strongest, he didn’t need help, he was always okay.
“-ojo?”
The voice snapped him back to reality as he turned to look at Megumi who was sitting next to him, he was poking at some tiramisu that Satoru ordered as Nobara and Yuji were trying a milkshake that was kiwi-banana and laughed at how gross it tasted.
Satoru looked back toward Megumi.
“What?”
Megumi rolled his eyes.
“I said…”
He stabbed his fork into the tiramisu.
“Why aren't you eating?”
Ah shit.
Satoru didn’t realize how long he had been zoning out for. It was very unusual for him to turn down sweets so he forced himself to grab a mochi and pop it in his mouth with an exaggerated crunch and smile with his mouth full.
“What- you worried?”
He shrugged his shoulders going back to his food.
Satoru just reached over to grab a bite of Megumi’s tiramisu and before he could protest he put a hand on Megumi’s shoulder. Would this be the last time he’d touch Megumi? He wouldn’t see Megumi tonight surely because of the movie, he wanted to give him a hug.
“You don’t need to worry Megumi, I’m the strongest.”
They got back to Jujutsu High around three in the afternoon.
The sun was lower now, the campus quieter than it had been earlier that morning. Winter air swept through the pathways as students from other classes (the three second years) drifted back toward their dorms.
Satoru walked with his hands tucked into his pockets while the three first years followed beside him.
For the last time. His brain wouldn’t stop reminding him.
“Well.”
Satoru stretched his arms above his head dramatically.
“Today was time well spent.”
“We didn't even train.”
Megumi muttered it without looking up from his phone.
Yuji and Nobara, meanwhile, were still snacking on sweets they'd brought back from the shop.
“Today was awesome Gojo-sensei!”
Satoru felt a genuine smile come to his face, Yuji, he was a ray of sunshine. He couldn’t imagine Sukuna’s vessel and the boy being in the same body, so Satoru made sure to hide the last finger where nobody could find it so that Yuji would be able to live out the rest of his days without fear of execution or his youth being robbed from him.
He would be okay.
“I'm glad.”
Satoru grinned and spun around so he was walking backwards.
“Well, I won't bother you three any longer. I know you have a veeeery exciting movie to get to.”
He wiggled his fingers dramatically.
“Try not to have too much fun without me.”
Yuji laughed.
“We can invite you next time.”
Next time.
Satoru nearly stopped walking before turning back to walk straight.
“Wow. How generous.”
They reached the dorm entrance.
The conversation naturally slowed as everyone prepared to separate for the evening.
Satoru reached out first.
He patted Yuji on the shoulder.
Yuji smiled up at him automatically.
Then he did the same to Nobara.
She swatted his hand away immediately.
“Don't be weird.”
“I'm always weird.”
“Exactly.”
Then he looked at Megumi.
Megumi was adjusting one of his sleeves absentmindedly.
“You’re going with them right?”
Megumi nodded.
Satoru let himself have a moment, so he leaned forward and hugged Megumi tightly.
“What are you doing?”
...
“I love you.”
Satoru murmured under his breath, voice cracking.
“What?” Megumi replied confused and stiffened at the hug.
Satoru hesitated and tried to commit Megumi's hugs to memory, his hair was softly brushing against Satoru’s cheek. He was taller, nearly up to Satoru’s chin at this point. When did that happen? He used to fit in Satoru’s lap and hide behind his legs in grocery stores.
Satoru pulled away and placed his hands on Megumi’s shoulders.
“I said leave your report in my office, I’ll have them done for you by tomorrow.”
“Gojo-”
“Megumi let’s go, we need to take the train!”
Satoru used Nobara’s interruption to start walking away waving his hand goodbye to his two students and his kid.
maybe
He didn’t turn back but when he got to the empty classroom he let himself cry.