Chapter Text
“Did you ever imagine this?” Olruggio asked one perfect evening after the kids had gone to bed.
“Hmm?” Qifrey hummed, meticulously washing up the dishes.
“This. Us. The atelier. The kids. It’s almost too perfect.”
Qifrey smiled,
“No. I honestly hadn’t. I didn’t think I’d make it this far.”
“I did.” Olly confessed.
Qifrey raised his brow, a grin forming on his face.
“You did?”
“Well-to be honest I hadn’t pictured the girls. But now I can’t seem to imagine a life without them.”
The two men smiled as they fell into their nightly routine. Qifrey washed, Olly dried. Then they gathered up the ingredients for their midnight snack (tonight they were to have a classic, a willowgrape cocktail).
These days Olly noticed that Qifrey washed longer than usual. Instead of scrubbing at individual spots he vigorously scrubbed at the entire dish for minutes. He suspected he couldn’t even see the grime anymore, but Qifrey hadn’t said a word about it. He wanted to keep to routine. The thought of Qifrey’s sight worsening by the day made Olly’s heart break. It had certainly been getting worse ever since they broke his curse.
“Qifrey–you know we could always switch if dryin’s easier for you.” Olruggio finally voiced, after he noticed that the man had been scrubbing at a pot for nearly five minutes.
Qifrey frowned,
“Washing is just fine…The water doesn’t touch the bare skin anyway.”
“That’s not what I–” Olruggio was cut off by the sound of small footsteps running in.
“Master Qifrey? Master Olly?” Coco shyly asked, standing quietly in her nightgown, eyes squinting open.
“Is everything alright Coco?” Qifrey placed the pot back in the sink and walked over to the child, dropping to his knees in front of her so he could hold her hand.
“Can I join you tonight?” She asked, eyes adjusting to the light.
Qifrey turned towards Olly.
“We were plannin’ on makin’ somethin’ for adults only…But I suppose we can change our recipe. If Master Qifrey says you can stay up…” Olly said, leaving it to his friend to decide.
Coco looked expectantly towards him.
“You really should be getting some good sleep right now…” Qifrey trailed off.
“I can’t sleep!” Coco said suddenly, her words rushing out. Something in her expression turned dark for just a second.
“You can’t sleep? What’s the matter?” Qifrey asked.
Coco fidgeted with her gown, purposefully looking away from her masters,
“I just…can’t.”
Qifrey nodded and stood, moving his hand to Coco’s shoulder to guide her into the kitchen. His eye met Olruggio’s.
Something is wrong. It seemed to tell him.
“How about you stay until you get sleepy then? We can all share a refreshing drink.” Qifrey said, carefully putting away the bottled spirits they had planned on using.
Olruggio set a third glass on the table.
“What can I do to help?” Coco asked.
“You can start by cutting these prism lemons and mountain apples.” Qifrey handed the cutting board and knife to Coco,
“Be sure not to nick yourself!”
Coco nodded assuredly and got to work.
Olruggio noticed that the slices Coco cut varied in size. One was thick while the next was paper thin. Her hand shook ever-so-slightly as the knife came down. Qifrey was right. Something was distracting her.
Their eyes met again, Qifrey nodding towards the table. Both men sat down on either side of Coco.
Qifrey carefully began to stir all of the ingredients together within the spirits bubble, taking each new slice from the cutting board and mixing it in with spicebark and honeytree nectar. As he began to pour the trio’s drinks, Coco began to sniffle.
“S-sorry.” She said, tears falling down her face.
“Whatever is wrong, Coco?” Qifrey asked.
“It’s nothing really–” Coco took a sip of the mocktail, immediately spilling it over her nightgown.
“Doesn’t seem like nothin’.” Olruggio noted, joining his link rings together to dry off the girl’s clothes.
Coco sighed from the warmth and set her now empty glass back onto the table.
“You can tell us these things you know. Master Olly and I are here for you.” Qifrey picked up Coco with a swift motion of his arms and brought her over to the couch, letting the child cry as he held her.
Olly abandoned the drinks and placed himself next to Qifrey. He cautiously placed a hand on the girl’s back.
Silence fell over the room except for Coco’s sobs. Olly looked worriedly at Qifrey. He simply had no clue what to do in these types of situations. People often went to him in tears, begging for his help. He used to freeze up. Now he talked them through it, asking what they needed. Most of the time it was a medical cure that he was forbidden from giving, but he would always fly them to the nearest doctor. If it truly was a case where magic would help, he’d make them a spell free of charge. He decided to take this approach with Coco.
“Is there anythin’ we can do to help?” He asked in a soft voice, not wanting to alarm her.
“This is nice…” Coco admitted, pulling her head up from Qifrey’s shoulder to meet Olly’s gaze.
“Was it something I said?” Qifrey asked. Olly could practically see the gears turning in his head. The man was going over every word he had said today. Of course he would blame himself first for the child’s misery.
“No! No, not at all!” Coco was quick to reply.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. You’re not obligated to tell us anythin’.” Olruggio decided to add. Stars know he could remember when he was a kid. Adults were the last people he wanted knowing his problems.
Coco nodded, wiping away her tears as she snuggled into Qifrey’s lap, letting herself be held by her teacher.
After some minutes Coco spoke up,
“I’ve just been feeling wrong lately. I have nightmares about you Master Qifrey. Where the silverwood is back and it just–” More tears fell down her face.
“It hurts so much to watch. And then there’s others with my Mom…And Agott. And Tetia and Richeh and Tartah and Custas! And when I wake up from them in the morning or the middle of the night it makes my tummy squirm endlessly.”
“Have you ever felt this before?” Qifrey asked, brushing the tears off of the child’s face.
Coco nodded,
“I’ve had a similar feeling whenever I take one of the Tests, or when someone assumes I’ve been a witch all my life!”
“Does your heart race when you get this feelin’?” Olly asked. He was beginning to get a sense of what Coco was feeling.
“Mmhmm.” Coco nodded.
“Does your body feel tense? Like you can’t ever relax?” He followed up.
Another nod.
Olruggio put a hand on Coco’s knee and squeezed lightly.
“Seems like you’re sufferin’ from anxiety.” He said.
“Anxiety?”
Olly and Qifrey nodded.
“Anxiety is that feeling you just described.” Qifrey began to explain.
“You see–many of us have it. Up until a few months ago it was my every waking day. Consuming me. Now it’s much less intense, but it still lingers.”
Olruggio shook his head in agreement,
“I get it whenever I’m crunchin’ on my work. It keeps me up late and makes me so nauseous that I don’t want to eat.”
“So this feeling…it’s normal?” Coco asked, a glimmer of understanding in her eyes.
“Absolutely.” Qifrey and Olly replied in unison.
“I suppose that makes me feel a bit better…I thought something was wrong with me.” Coco admitted.
“Of course not!” Qifrey gasped.
“Not at all.” Olruggio followed.
“I’ve had it since I was younger than you are now.” Qifrey said.
“Same here.” Olly agreed.
“Is there a way to fix it?” Coco asked.
“Well…there’s no medicine for it if that’s what you’re askin’.” Olruggio admitted.
“Oh…” Coco trailed off.
“But–” Qifrey said, holding up a finger,
“–there are lots of things you can do to help yourself. Things such as not isolating yourself all alone. That’s probably the worst thing you could do.”
Olruggio shared daggers at Qifrey. Sometimes the man was such a hypocrite.
Qifrey noticed the expression and laughed guiltily.
“Trust me, that’s what I did my entire life. It allowed the silverwood to be at bay. And you know that that is not good.”
Coco nodded sternly.
“That’s why I came downstairs…I just felt too alone in my bed.”
“Great instincts Coco. Wish someone had done the same…” Olruggio praised.
Coco giggled as Qifrey’s face turned a bright shade of pink.
“Again, I admit to my mistakes. You’re already doing far better than I ever did.” Qifrey laughed.
“Qifrey…I need you to stop hidin’ from me. What can we do to help you? What can I do?”
“Oh Olruggio…”
Olly shook away his memories of that one fateful night. The night everything he knew changed. The night everything was different, if only because this time it seems, he thought to bring the girls with him. An intervention of sorts. One that led to him and the girls dedicating their waking hours to help rid Qifrey of his curse. The night that led to Qifrey being freed.
“Talking about it has helped…but the feeling still won’t go away.” Coco confessed after they had fallen into a comfortable silence.
“In that case, how about we try another technique? I want you to lie back, close your eyes, and listen to my instructions.” Qifrey said, positioning a pillow behind Coco’s neck.
Qifrey lowered his voice to barely just above a whisper, soothingly running a hand down Coco’s arm.
“I want you to breathe in for the next four seconds. One. Two. Three. Four. Good. Now hold your breath for four seconds. One. Two. Three. Four. Now breathe out for four seconds. One. Two. Three. Four. Now hold again–One. Two. Three. Four. Now continue on–” Qifrey continued to count out loud for Coco. Her shaky breath began to steady after a few rounds.
Olruggio found himself following Qifrey’s advice, the man’s soft words tickling his brain. He could listen to him talk like this all day, his voice was so soothing. It was moments like these that he found himself especially grateful for their life together. Qifrey was never more in his element than he was when teaching the girls. He thrived in it. It made Olly burst with pride.
“Try doing that for as long as it takes. It’s advice that was given to me by my own Master many years ago to help me focus on my studies.” Qifrey finally finished, looking expectantly at Coco.
The girl slowly repeated the breathing for the next few minutes. Qifrey and Olly watched over her with concern.
Coco slowly opened her eyes,
“I think it’s mostly gone away.”
“Fantastic!” Qifrey beamed.
“Thank you Master Qifrey, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” Coco smiled, sitting up on the man’s lap.
Her head turned towards Olruggio, making the man startle a bit. He had fallen so under the spell of Qifrey’s voice that he had gotten almost a little too relaxed. He sat up and attempted to correct his posture.
“Master Olly, what do you do to help yourself?” Coco asked, both her and Qifrey looking at him.
“Uhhhh…” Olruggio trailed off. How to explain to a child that his whole life he had prioritized his work above his health, often ignoring his own body screaming at him to calm down. Taking another shot of alcohol to distract his mind or chugging down his sixth energizing potion for the day. Definitely not healthy coping mechanisms and definitely not one any twelve year old should be using.
“I–er–I can’t really seem to think of–”
“Master Olly helps himself through cooking! Using one’s hobby is an excellent way to distract oneself from the feelings within. Most nights he’ll come in completely stressed and he’ll leave with a ginormous smile on his face!” Qifrey interrupted, looking over to Olly with an expression that said “you will not tell Coco of your vices”.
Olruggio hadn’t considered their midnight delights as a coping mechanism but now that he actually thought about it…
“Cookin’ does help distract me. Not to mention, it gives me somethin’ to eat. Sometimes distraction and a good meal will do the trick.” Olly agreed.
Coco’s eyes widened.
“I could sew! It’s something familiar that quiets my mind and body. It’s like I become a whole different me.”
Qifrey smiled softly, his hand tousling the girl’s hair.
“Exactly! You transform when you sew. You’re quite a master. Your mother taught you well.”
Coco’s slowly growing smile had dimmed.
“Most of my nightmares are about her. I dream that she’s still–” Her eyes welled with tears.
“These things take time.” Qifrey said.
“I just don’t understand why I still relive it…It’s been months now!” Coco sniffled.
“It’s your mind working through the trauma. Sometimes the awful things that happen to us stay within us. It takes time to heal from them. Even if they’ve already been fixed in the real world.” Qifrey explained.
“Is there a way to fix it?” Coco asked.
“Problems of the mind don’t have just one easy fix. You must work at it. Like we said earlier, talking it through is the most important. Let yourself process it outside of yourself instead of keeping it all in.”
Olly nodded.
Coco swallowed back her last remaining tears, her face steeling in determination,
“I promise I’ll come to you, or Master Olly, or my friends, whenever I feel like this! I’ll work through it!”
“Atta girl.” Olruggio patted her back, sharing a smile with the other two.
“Would it be okay if I cooked with you sometime Master Olly?” Master Qifrey? Or worked on the table while you two cook? I think it would help me get back to sleep.” Coco asked shyly.
So much for their midnight delights.
“Absolutely.” Qifrey and Olly agreed.
After they had finished their drinks and gotten Coco back to bed, Qifrey and Olly sat back down on the couch.
“Did we handle that alright?” Qifrey asked, concern wrapped around his features.
“You did fantastic.” Olly turned to face him, placing a hand on Qifrey’s shoulder. Their touch had gotten much more casual lately. Olly loved it.
Qifrey’s hand moved up to squeeze Olly’s own.
“It wasn’t just me.” Qifrey smiled, his blush barely noticeable under the candlelight.
“You helped her too. You gave her the time and space to explain herself. You make a great teacher you know.”
“I like helpin’ the girls. It’s nice to be able to. Makes me feel like I’m doin’ some good in the world.” Olly replied.
Qifrey took Olruggio’s hand from his shoulder, maneuvering around so he was leaning with his back against the other man. He slid down until his head was in Olly’s lap. He placed their conjoined hands back on his shoulder and settled in against Olly. His eye was closed. Both of their breaths hitched.
Olruggio was glad that Qifrey couldn’t see his expression. He was positive he was burning. Surely his face was shocked at Qifrey’s casual initiation of intimacy. Even though the silverwood was gone, their relationship hadn’t changed like Olly had hoped. He knew Qifrey needed time and he would continue to give it to him for the rest of their lives if necessary. Which is why it was so shocking when Qifrey would make moves such as this.
The pair stayed silent, their breathing falling into sync. Olruggio ran a hand through Qifrey’s curls. Qifrey continued to give squeezes to Olly’s hand.
It was everything Olly could hope for.
The next thing he remembered it was day. Light streamed in through the windows. Something delicious wafted over from the kitchen. He peeled open his eyes to see the girls spread out on the floor beneath him, practicing their spells. A carefully tucked blanket fell off of him as he sat up and stretched.
“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Qifrey teased as he brought a tray of pancakes from the kitchen.
The girls and Olly perked up.
Good morning indeed.