Work Text:
"Breath in. Feel the air enter the naress. Follow your inhalation'ss journey through the nassal passssagess and into your throat. Feel the air flowing into your lungss. Experiencce the fullnessss in your ribss and your diaphragm."
A week and a some light sabotage later, found Lissarkh back in the emptying storage room, sitting seiza on the floor in front of 30 odd of her nest. This time, fortunately, she remember her plastoid greaves, tadun'bur she believed the older nestlings had called them, and was well padded from both chill and bruising from the hard metal decking. She'd even managed to wrangle other forms of cushioning her squishier companions to kneel or sit more comfortably. It was important for everyone to be comfortable on the floor for this gathering. A lesson in mediation was hardly a punishment, no matter what energetic younglings might believe.
"Breath out. Tracce your exhalation'ss passssage out of your lungss. Follow your breath through your throat and out through your mouth."
Lissarkh watched the slow rise and fall of chests before her, and felt quietly pleased by the turn out, given the short notice. Her students sat in front of her in their off-duty clothing; a eclectic mix of black undersuits, pieces of plastoid armor, surplus robes from the Order, and anything else they managed to find or acquire. Some radiating skepticism they would never voice, others glowed with honest curiosity, but most were tinted by mild interest. Soldier knew to take a reprieve from boredom when ever they could. Lissarkh could only hope that her lessons could bring them some peace.
"We focuss on the ssenssation of our breathing and allow our thoughtss to drift through our mindss. Thiss iss the sstart of meditation." She could hardly remember a time before meditation. The gentle voice of her crechmaster leading evening meditation before bed. The smell of incense in the initiate dorm's quiet meditation rooms. The feel of her master's mind guiding her deep into the Force. "Here we practicce clearing our mindss of fear and anxiety. Here we learn the sskillss to find inner peacce."
Her original plan had been to give a demonstration Form V, the form she had the next most practice with. Nominally for her Padawan's consideration but open to any interested. Shien So was her own Master's favorite form, and Lissarkh had a thorough education in its pros and cons of the more aggressive form under Master Koon's tutelage. Unfortunately, that plan had to be postponed until Lissarkh could finish growing back her sword arm and Solan-ishko to finish napping off zir concussion with Biter. Quite possible on Biter, truth be told.
"It iss ssaid that there are ass many wayss to meditate ass there are memberss of the Order." As personal and customizable as meditation was, Lissarkh could help but feel the saying was potentially hyperbolic. She had helped her Master with the last temple census as part of his counsel duties. There had been about seven thousand active Jedi Masters, Knights, and Padawans, about five thousand younglings and crechlings, and another thirty thousand members in the auxiliary corps. Of course that census was carried out before the war… "Ssome focuss by counting breathss. Otherss find internal stillnessss by performing katass or other movementss."
"Many in the monasstic order, find our ccenter by chanting mantrass or prayerss, or by conssidering koanss." It taken her many years to learn to appreciate koans, in meditation or in other contexts, but, as Lissarkh had grown and found places were logic simply did not apply, she'd come to find value in the confusion. She still preferred the click of beads counting the rhythm of a mantra for her evening meditation and slow moving katas when ever she could carve out a little time to start her day balanced, but changing habit helped growth. Repetition built skill, to be sure, but too much of one thing lead to complacency.
Lissarkh couldn't wait to see what her nestlings would decided to incorporate from her lessons. She could teach them different breathing techniques. Her mammalian crechemates spoke highly of cube breathing for handling anxiety, even if they decided to follow the Upas'ka's path and didn't need to keep up with daily meditations. Maybe she should also teach them about the four-eight-seven technique, another popular technique for mammals. She spent an idle moment thinking about leading more meditation classes or some of her men joining her in morning stretches. Lissarkh could also contact the Archive for additional resources to teach her nest.
She was getting a head of herself, it might be simpler if all involved to start at the beginning. "When we are firsst taught to meditate in the Temple, we sstart by recciting the Jedi Code."
This was a lesson she knew how to teach, for all she couldn't remember learning it herself. Padawan learners are given the opportunity to teach simple lessons to creche clans and young initiates or lay-younglings, under careful supervision. Lissarkh preferred to guide the little ones through basic mediation. She'd tried teaching hand-to-hand once, but had to yield the lesson back to the dorm leader after only a short time of sparring. It had taken a good deal of meditation with her master before she could trust herself around younglings, and even longer to forgive herself her prey drive.
"There are two variationss of the Code. The older, and a bit more sstraight forward, iss the code firsst we learn as initiatess." This was the version she had more experience teaching but… Lissarkh looked at the tired faces of her students and struggled to reconcile the present with the memory of lessons from a more peaceful time. It would be simpler, yes, but perhaps to simple. These students had fought and bled beside her, to infantilize them would be condescending at best. It still felt wrong to dismiss the older version completely. Some preferred the shorter mantra even after graduation. Perhaps, this too was a lesson in balance.
"The ssecond, more modern and more often ussed by Jedi, iss phrassed ass a koan, each a sstudy on the identity of oppossitess" A strong emotion brought her attention back to the crowd of slowly breathing beings and Lissarkh reached out with her senses to decipher the meaning. Quibble, never without a question or curiosity, practically radiated his desire to ask a question. Trying to stay silent and not disrupt the lesson must be a trial for him. Hopefully she could correctly guess his unvoiced question. Likely it was to do with the Code itself or the concept of a koan. Most struggled with concept of a koan when first introduced. It might be best to give an explanation up front.
"A koan iss a sstatement or quesstion that cannot be undersstood by logic; made to lead the quesstioner into doubt and out into pure consscioussnesss without concceptss." It wasn't the best summary but it was at least a start. Lissarkh could go in more detail and give examples, but then she'd risk straying off topic. "The sstanzass of the modern Code are not a true koanss, merely worded ssimilarly. It iss possssible that thiss ssimilarity wass an attempt to promote contemplation, but thosse who were there for the Rewording refuse to confirm or deny." She remembered, with nostalgic embarrassment, being a young padawan and trying to trick Master Yaddle into divulging the answer; aiming to win her class the freedom from their final exams that Master Mephasm had promised.
Lissarkh dragged herself from her memories and into the present, settling more comfortably in her tadun'bur and began to recite the lesson she knew by heart.
"There iss no emotion, there iss peacce." With long practice she breathed to match the verse and sank into the Force. Habitual serenity flowed into her even as she felt interest and confusion rise in the small collection of her nest. Perhaps now would be a good opportunity to clear up a potential miscommunication and dispel any myth. "If we cannot moderate our emotionss, then our emotionss control our actionss. If we cannot control our actionss, then we cannot be presserverss of peacce."
"We do not aim to quash all feelingss, but to sstrive to masster our emotionss ass we masster oursselvess." It was frustratingly common to meet people who truly believed that Jedi either possessed no emotions or had suppressed them to the point of emotionlessness. They felt as much as any other sentient, but they couldn't risk letting their impulses sway them. In this, Lissarkh felt her nestlings understanding; as boisterous as they were, they knew falling to pieces in the middle of a battle was a good way to get someone killed. She breathed out her frustration and worry; acknowledging the feelings, but releasing them to the Force as burden to be shared. "Emotion, yet peacce."
Lissarkh reached out to her men as she waded into the Force, watching how her nest opened like flowers to her senses as the meditation stilled their minds. Well, most of them. She was fairly sure that Swing, Bask, and possibly Goose, had fallen asleep by this point, Drake and a shiny who hadn't decided on their name both couldn't seem to still their minds enough settle into the rhythm of their breathing. She was surprised only five had their attention slip from the lesson. Normally, she'd be down half a creche clan by now. Mediation, and peace for that matter, were skills that took practice to find easy.
"There iss no ignorancce, there iss knowledge." Here was the stanza that had caused her the most confusion as a youngling. It had taken learning about thermodynamic systems and the concept that cold should be considered the absence of heat, for the line to finally make sense. "Ignorancce iss an abssencce of knowledge, rather than a sstate of being." The Order's purpose was not only to be protectors of the peace but to be record keepers, educators, and seekers of truth. That was why the Temple housed one of the finest archives in the Republic. Darkness thrived where the light of knowledge had yet to reach. "If knowledge iss ssought, then ignorancce no longer exisstss."
"We sstrive to sseek the truth where ever we go, to learn all we can, to be sstudentss all our livess." Come to think of it, Solan-ishko was scheduled to return the Temple soon so ze could sit for exams in person, perhaps Lissarkh could bring back some digital files back from the Archive and set up access to them for her nest. It would be worth it, even if she would have to parley with the autocratic Madame Nu to do so. Remembering the end of a rather spectacular lecture her sister-padawan had received from said Master of the Archives, after Knight Swan dared to say she already knew everything she needed too about Alderaanian heraldry. Lissarkh added "Only foolss believe they know all there iss to know."
The refresher on the storied art form had ended up coming in useful, it turned out. Bultar managed to thoroughly distract the Alderaanian noble while Lissarkh swiped her key card. There was always more to learn about the universe and the people that resided there in."Ignorancce, yet knowledge."
She couldn't help wondering how the her men felt about learning. They were all skilled and that must have meant flashlearning was effective, but the process hardly sounded pleasant. Her nest, at least, still seemed interested in learning; they'd shown up to listen after all. Mynock, an attended of her Soresu demonstration and who had just chosen a name last week, seemed to be the next casualty to somnolence having listed onto their batcher's shoulder. Lissarkh wasn't entirely certain if said batch-mate had chosen a name yet. They had been part of the latest shinys to arrive from Kamino and, by all reports, had handled themselves well in their first firefight. She really should bring them to the Temple on her next visit. It would be a good way to expand their horizons and a chance to supplement their sparse kits from Kamino.
"There iss no passssion, there iss sserenity." Here lay Lissarkh's greatest struggle and another tenet that could use a bit of translation. Passion was a complicated concept to explain to those not raised in the Order. "For good or for ill, passssion hass many meaningss to many peopless. To the people of the Order, passssion can be loossely transslation to ssuffering." It originally pulled from a somewhat archaic definition of the word, but it had grown to mean more. Passion could mean not only suffering of body or mind, but also emotional suffering and the feelings that lead to such suffering; anger, attachment, fear, hatred, even greed. Lissarkh's battle was with her desire to hunt and her fear of losing herself in those instincts. For all the horrors and suffering of war, it had been a relief to find an outlet for her prey drive; hunting through Separatist bases and ferreting out their secrets with her nest. A way to release pressure before the pressure released itself.
"There iss no wissdom to be found in pain, merely disstraction." It was easy to wrap oneself in ones problems, until that was all one could see; losing sight of the world outside the problem and, more importantly, the way out. Suffering for suffering's sake was not as heroic or virtuous as it sounded; a lesson that Chief Medic Egg has tried to impart many in their nest. Wisdom could be found on the other side of passion but rarely in its grasp. "If we cannot sstop the ssuffering then we let passssion passss through uss and, when it has gone passt, we can find sserenity in itss wake." It was best practices to try and head passion off at the pass, but there were times when passion and suffering simply could not be stopped. Then all there could be done was to breath and let what would happen, happen. When all had settled, there would be lessons to learn and peace to be found. "Passssion, yet sserenity."
In the old stories, Sith always thrived on passion, on the suffering in the universe. What if this war was the Sith's agenda? What if all this fighting was simply feeding the Dark side? What if—
Lissarkh focused on the feeling of breath exiting her lungs. Her nest had been injured in their last mission, yes, but they would all heal. She sent her mind skimming over the nestlings still in the medbay; there sheltered 18 starlike lights in the Force. Four were medics on shifts, glowing bright with determination and care. Five of their patients were still awake, their pain smoothed over but at their core prickled with the need to move. The remaining nine slumbered, wrapped in the sweet cotton that sang to her of pain medication and sedatives.
The most injured of her nest checked, Lissarkh cast her mind along their bond and brushed her mind her Padawan's presence in the Force; she was met with distant cool softness that slipped through her claws. Sleep and good dreams for Solan-ishko, at least. Lissarkh followed the connection to Biter, finding similar sleep softness in her Captain's mind but the coolness she'd found in her Padawan had frozen to icy frost in his dreams. It was always more difficult to touch a force-null's thoughts at a distance, but familiarity and the lowered guard of trust let her nudge his nightmare into something more pleasant.
"There iss no chaoss, there iss harmony." She'd heard that this stanza still caused debate among the more philosophical Masters. It was an argument of a fundamental sort, could logic be found at the root of all things or was not everything able to be explained. Apparently the topic was controversial enough to be banned at the interfaith conference at Jedha. Supposedly a fight broke out the last time the subjected was opened to debate. Lissarkh wasn't sure which side of the debate she championed. She should probably spend some time searching her feelings on the matter, but that would first require people to stop trying to kill each other.
"It iss eassy to dismissss what we do not understand asss Chaoss" Just as easy to look no further than the easy explanation. Much of the training they received as Padawan apprentices boiled down to learning to look beyond the simple answer. "Much of what appearss to be chaotic at firsst glancce, hass a pattern if one takess enough time to undersstand." It took practice to find the flow of movement or follow the lines of cause and effect. Lissarkh was still learning how to do this in her new environment. "When we find the truth, when we find balance, then we can find harmony." Master Tholme once explained that it was the job of the Consulars was to promote such understanding, the job of the Guardians was to protect the harmony understanding brings, and the job of the Shadows was to hide harmony in chaos. "Chaoss, yet harmony."
Lissarkh turned her attention back to the people in the room. Slink's attention seemed to have wandered a bit; on to something funny, it would seem, if the brief flashes of good humor were anything to go by. One of the pilots, Chipper, she believed his name was, had also started to think about other things. Probably his beloved LAAT, from the mix eagerness and affection. Zap, on the other hand, was focusing a bit too hard on her lesson. Focus was a good thing for mediation, but too much was a distraction peace. All things in balance and balance in all things.
"There iss no death, there iss the Forcce" Lissarkh felt the air go heavy at the mention of death, the feeling of everyone awake snapping their attention back to her. Death was a constant companion them. Her nest been fortunate in the last raid but they hadn't always been so lucky. She'd felt her little stars be ripped from their orbit and ice-cold vacuum replace them. The pain from the first loss of her nest had stopped her in her tracks; Biter, then a lieutenant, nearly had a heart attack before she'd starting moving agian by rote. She knew they held their own remembrances for the dead; Lissarkh was careful to gave them a respectful distance during those times, and ran interference to keep her Padawan and the few officers on board from interrupting or disturb. "We believe that no one iss truly gone, they have merely rejoined the Forcce."
"Death iss a part of life, but it iss not the end of it." All things that live, must also die. The Cosmic Force feeding the Living Force, and the Living Force returning to the Cosmic Force. Beyond that, every life left an impact on the worlds and lives around it; a unique thread in the tapestry of the cosmos. "The influencce of a life livess long after they passss from thiss universse." Influences that would last long after their names were forgotten. As small as a laugh or a turn of phrase, or as large as the fall of a people or the preservation of millions of lives. It was impossible to tell until long after the event. Gone, yet not forgotten. Forgotten, yet not gone. "Death, yet the Forcce."
The completion of the Code settled something deep within Lissarkh. It reminded her that she was still a Knight of the Jedi Order. Too often she'd found herself scrambling to fit new roles; trying to become a General, Tactician, Administrator, Politician. She was grateful for the down time, for a break from alien rules and requirements. Here and now, she was a teacher. Here and now, she was a Jedi.
But all things must come to an end, and now it was time for Lissarkh to bring her lesson to its conclusion.
"When we sspeak thiss Code, we know it connectss uss to generationss passt." It was the traditional ending to a lesson about the Jedi Code. A link to heritage that didn't need shared blood to bind and tradition that stretched long before their birth. A reminder that even their eldest of their number had started here, exactly where they were now. A memorial for those who came before.
"When we teach thiss Code, we know it connectss uss to generationss yet to come." They knew that the Order couldn't live in solely in their past; they had also to look to their future. They had a mission not only to nurture their own younglings and crechlings, but to teach future generations, regardless of their origin. There was comfort to knowing that, as long as there were those willing to carry their lessons, their legacy would live on.
"With thiss Code we know we are never alone." Now her nestlings here could share in that comfort; to join the past and future, to know that there would be those to remember them. The darkness and fear of war was isolating, but together they had a chance to win. To find slivers of peace and harmony. To bring kindness where they could and understanding where they couldn't. Together they would weather the storm and dream of brighter tomorrows.
May the Force be with them all.
