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Liam and I started hang out under the willow tree after school. He'd always bring me a sandwich so I didn't need to eat whatever poison my dad made that night (I was grateful he tried to cook, though). I opened up my sketchbook while Liam ranted about Mrs. Walker; his algebra teacher. He paused his monologue and stared at my drawings for a moment, analyzing each detail in a similar nature to a hawk. His silence initiated me assume he was spacing out, in which I said, "Go on." He didn't.
He started again, but this time, spoke of something completely unrelated to what was stated prior, "Your drawings..." His words were sweet and simple, and he looked genuinely mesmerized at what he saw. He scooted close to me, observing over my shoulder. It was adorable as hell, the way he stared. "They're beautiful...you did that by yourself?" I grinned. "Yeah, but a lot of the time I draw with references. That's why the anatomy kinda... improved over time."
The funny thing was, I drew pretty much exclusively plus-sized women. Girls with bodies with mine. I think it was because it felt familiar. Like I was looking into a mirror. Or maybe it was because it was the only time a body like mine would be considered art.
Whatever the reason was, I really enjoyed it. And Liam seemed too, as well. It was sorta mind-baffling how he liked what he was looking at. Most people would be amused, but in a bad way. In a way that said yuck, fat drawings? as they continued an unfulfilled life of keto dieting and calorie cuts. The thought of this made my grin slowly dissipate. I spoke once more, "Why exactly do you like it?"
I had expected his answer to be 'the lineart' or 'the color' but that answer never came. He sat there for a second until the words were found; "Because. They're beautiful. And not just as drawings, but as representations of people. There isn't enough love for big girls these days. But they deserve it too. They always have. They're the most gorgeous beings out there. I would choose a chubby girl over a skinny one any day."
I started to tear up, but I tried to hold it back. I would soon learn to know that Liam always noticed things. He always knew and understood. He put a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, hey, what's up? You can talk to me." he said, switching his position to sitting in front of me. My bottom lip quivered. "I just...did you...did you really mean it when you flirted with me in the bathroom that one day? Was there actually something there? Was it to tease me so I wouldn't get my hopes up?" Liam held my face and made me look at him, giving me butterflies despite my emotion.
"Maple...I don't really know how to word this." he said. "I didn't know you that day. But what I did know was that you were one gorgeous, shy girl." his voice was soft, and he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. The atmosphere was gorgeous, everything was so...in place. The orange glow of the descending sun gave the environment a hue just like a deep honey--ironic for how sweet the moment was.
I looked up at him with yearning green eyes, illuminated by the sunset. It's still hilarious to think I was so head-over-heels within the first month of knowing him. He continued speak while I listened intently. I wanted each word to be stuck in my mind. "And that gorgeous, shy girl was talking to me. Hell, she noticed I was there, and that's already a lot to me. And now I know her a lot better. I'm happy that my flirting got me this far. I'm sitting with my face right in front of the most beautiful human to have ever walked this earth. But there is one more thing I want."
I let out a small huff of laughter and replied, "And what would that be?" Liam said the words I'd been awaiting. "A kiss." My face immediately flushed, but I attempted to compose myself before I finally pressed my lips against his. Both of his hands rested in the grass on each side of my body. He kissed me slowly,- tenderly, savoring the moment.
After a bit, he pulled back, his eyes wide. "Woah..." he said, seemingly starstruck. I couldn't help but giggle. "'Woah' what?" I said a bit teasingly, wanting to hear him put his amazement into words. "That was...wow...You're a really good kisser." he said. I blushed and grinned. "You're not so bad yourself, handsome." I said, a bit quieter due to my currently flustered state. He let out a slightly teasing gasp, but was still noticeably wound up, "You just called me...handsome?" I nodded and smiled, accepting it despite being apprehensive beforehand.
"Am I dreaming?" Liam asked. I couldn't help but enjoy how thrilled he was just because of a kiss and a compliment. This was the first time I felt...wanted. "That's what I should be asking." I remarked. Liam shook his head. "No, no, I just got all I ever wished for!" I playfully scoffed. "Well I did too! I got kissed and fawned over by a hot guy!" I retorted. "That's a first for me, you know!" Liam shook his head, "There's no way!" I nodded, "Oh, yes there is! Nobody's ever...y'know, wanted me the way you do."
Liam held my hand, his thumb circling the gem in the center of one of my rings. "Well I want to make you feel wanted, pretty girl." After he said this, he looked back up at me. I wish I could see myself in his eyes. I wish I could know the feeling of excitement he experienced when he saw me. I was worth everything to him, and I wanted to understand that. And maybe I would if he would keep feeling it. Maybe it would be a feeling that happens to him so often it just seeps out, and I can open my eyes and realize why I was worth so much to him. And maybe I'll never know. But I'm okay with not knowing. The only thing I need to be aware of is that he sees me as his entire world.