Work Text:
when noah woke up one random thursday, he hadn’t expected anything out of the ordinary to come from the day ahead.
he had gone about his usual routine, unworried about being late to his first class of the day only to end up sprinting to the front door in order to leave on time. he picked up gwen and hurriedly told her to get in, hadn’t been all that surprised when courtney was also climbing into his backseat.
he wasn’t jealous at all when he saw how close they were sitting. he wasn’t jealous when he dropped courtney off at her own apartment and gwen kissed her goodbye. he’s over it, honestly. he’s been over it. no faces flash in his mind and he doesn’t have to squash any thoughts reminding him of when he had that. seriously, it’s been over 3 months; he doesn’t even think about it anymore.
when he and gwen arrived at their shared university, they went their separate ways. gwen said she’d meet him for lunch later at the cafe they always meet at and the promise of good coffee and better food was enough to make him stay focused until lunch came along.
·. * ~ ☆ ~ * .·
‘where the hell is this girl? i swear she’s later and later each time we meet up…’
noah thinks as he looks around the small cafe, searching for his friend’s unmissable teal and black hair or the sound of chunky platform boots approaching. when he finds nothing yet again, he sighs and drops his gaze to the table, beginning to scratch at a coffee stain with the back of his nail.
he thinks nothing of it when the door opens; if it’s gwen, he’ll find out soon enough. he thinks nothing of it when footsteps start approaching him; whoever it is must be with the group at the table near him or something. he knows it’s not gwen, so he doesn’t look. he does look when someone slides into the seat on the other side of the table. sure enough, he was right. this definitely isn’t gwen. the only problem with who it is…
there is no problem. he’s over it, he said that already.
“hello, noah.”
his familiar voice greets. he looks the same as ever, though maybe his hair is a little longer than when noah last saw him. he can’t help but stare at the undeniably beautiful spaniard before him, wide-eyed and mouth slightly agape. he can’t say he’s happy about seeing the man, but… he’s not upset. maybe he really is over it.
“... alejandro.”
he eventually returns, willing himself not to stutter or his voice to shake.
“it’s, uh… it’s been a while, huh?”
alejandro nods.
“it certainly has…”
the two go quiet and noah is suddenly feeling incredibly awkward. he’s sure alejandro doesn’t feel much better, which is strange for the normally confident, sociable man he once loved. might as well just say what’s on his mind.
“what are you doing here? i thought you moved, like, 5 hours away.”
“ah, right. i did do that.”
he replies simply, almost as if he had forgotten. he looks out the window to his left, an unreadable expression on his face. if noah had to guess (even if it is heavily educated form his years of knowing alejandro), he’d say it looks a little like guilt. which is crazy, because alejandro? and guilt? in the same sentence? it’s unheard of. the taller man sighs and looks back at noah, the smallest of smiles appearing on his face.
“i came back recently. it was my own choice. i just… got sick of everything, you know?”
‘got sick of everything you left me for? wow. seems like that was totally worth it.’
noah ignores the thought entirely. he refuses to hang onto this. he will not be the bitter ex. he’s moved on. that’s what he’s told everyone, that’s what he has done.
“yeah, i get that. pressure got to be too much for ya?”
“i guess you could say that…”
he exhales and starts staring out the window again, a hand coming to fidget with the silver bracelet around his wrist before he stops himself and folds his hands neatly on the table. noah vaguely remembers him talking about how his parents had forced him to unlearn his habit of fidgeting, whether it was with his bracelets, necklace, hair, shirt or just his hands. he remembers how he would hate them even more with every new thing he learned about them. he can’t find it in himself to care much anymore. he’s an adult now, he should be able to handle himself.
“anyways,”
alejandro starts once more, his green eyes flicking up to meet noah’s dark brown ones. he smiles again as he speaks.
“would you, um… want to stay in contact? i know this is all a bit sudden, but… i really have missed you.”
noah pauses at the admission. what does he mean by that? how is noah supposed to respond? is he trying to get back together? is he even telling the truth right now? what if this is all just some sick joke? or he really wasn’t over it and his mind is playing tricks on him?
instead of voicing his thoughts, he smiles slightly and gives a small nod.
“yeah, i’ve… missed you too.”
alejandro smiles wider and grabs a napkin from the centre of the table, quickly jotting down his contact information and handing it to noah.
“here’s my new number. even if i didn’t have a new one i’m not sure you’d… still have it.”
noah winces slightly as he takes the napkin from the other man.
“yeah, i… i didn’t.”
he huffs out a quiet laugh, neatly folding the napkin and leaving it under his hand on the table.
quiet passes between them once more and after a moment, alejandro drums his fingers against the table as he stands. noah watches as he grabs his bag and stands at the side of the table, subconsciously straightening his posture.
“well, i’ll be off then. i’ll text you soon, yeah?”
“yeah.”
is all noah says in response.
with that, alejandro nods and turns to the door, strutting out as he slings his bag over his shoulder.
noah is left in shock. did that really just happen? he lifts his hand to see the napkin underneath it, alejandro’s number written down clear as day. yup. it wasn’t his imagination.
and as if the universe felt like it needed to convince him further, gwen sits down across from him, a baffled look on her face as she looks between the now closed door and a very torn noah. she leans slightly closer over the table.
“was that-?”
“yes.”
he replies quickly, already knowing exactly what she was going to say.
she whistles and leans back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. she stares at him expectantly and noah just looks at her with a raised eyebrow in response. she rolls her eyes.
“well?”
“well what?”
“what happened? was everything cool?”
‘well, there wasn’t any screaming involved if that’s what you mean.’
“it was…”
he thinks back on their short talk, glancing at his hand on the table. he rests it on his knee instead, subtly wiping the sweat that had been pooling there on his jeans.
“... civil…”
“no shit, you’re still sitting here.”
noah rolls his eyes and groans, dropping his head onto the table.
“god, i don’t even know… he gave me his number, he said he missed me, and i said it back. which i don’t even know whether or not that’s true !! on my end and his !! this is just… a lot…”
he concludes, lifting his head from the table and running a hand through his hair. he hasn’t seen the guy in three months after they broke up and while he’s not happy to admit it, he’s not over it. he honestly just assumed he’d never have to see him again. after all, he left to go study law or whatever and why would you ever need to come back when you’re busy making a future for yourself? when noah dies and goes to hell for being a sarcastic asshole towards almost everyone, he thinks his punishment will be being forced to go through something like this over and over again. it wouldn’t surprise him.
“i’ll bet.”
is all she says. she rests her elbows on the table, her arms still crossed and it reminds him of the way a certain someone used to sit all the time. someone he just saw for the first time in months. how not over it is he, really? how long has he been living in denial? he’s snapped out of his thoughts by gwen’s voice once again. when he looks at the goth across from him, she looks a little guilty. and when she starts,
“when i saw duncan again like, four months after we broke up,”
he knows why.
“it was a lot. i wanted to scream. i desperately wanted for him not to notice me, but of course, he did. and we talked. and it was weird. it’s bound to be after a breakup, especially one like ours.”
noah remembers what gwen had told him over the phone the night everything went to shit. she told him all about how he lied to her, told her he and courtney were officially over and how she found out that wasn’t exactly the case when she noticed all the notifications he was getting from her. hearing her damn near bawling her eyes out over the phone was heartbreaking and she didn’t seem much better when he arrived at her apartment with chocolate and gummy worms. so, yeah, he can imagine that things were a little awkward after that.
noah just nods and gwen continues.
“i wasn't over it and he wasn't over it and i didn't forgive him, but i didn't try to rip his head off, no matter how much i wanted to. not even when he said he wanted to get back together.”
sorry, what? noah wasn't aware of this !! sound the alarms, gwen didn't tell him something !! this is vital information he didn’t know about !!
his eyes go wide and he opens his mouth to speak, only for gwen to shove her hand into his face, and while unconventional, it shuts him up well enough.
“let me finish.”
noah sighs but nods as he peels her hand away from his face. gwen laughs quietly before she starts again.
“anyways, yeah. he said he messed up and he missed me. i said I didn't miss him. sure, it might've been a little harsh, but i didn't want him thinking i actually wanted to get back with his ass. so when he was done begging, i left. i didn't wanna get involved with him again, whether it be romantically or platonically.”
noah thinks that's fair. more than fair, really. he wouldn't haven been so friendly with alejandro today if he did anything similar to what duncan did.
gwen pauses to sigh, but a small smile soon spreads across her face, her gaze flicking around the cafe for a moment before landing on noah once more.
“and after making that decision, i'm doing great !! i've moved on and that green-haired asshole is nothing but a speck of dust in the distance. so you know what the moral of the story is?”
he tilts his head to the side, almost like the way his dog looks at someone whenever she thinks they have food. he smiles slightly at the thought of ark. he should visit her and his mom sometime soon.
“what?”
“you don't have to try and be friendly with your ex, noah. especially if you're not over it.”
noah's small smile fades. it turns to more of a contemplative look as he drops his gaze to the ground beside him, looking at all the little dark brown flecks in the wooden floorboards. he doesn't really feel like getting called out right now, but apparently it's unavoidable with gwen. he sighs.
“seriously. i get that he's handsome and relatively nice, but i don't want you doing anything you'll regret. so maybe just… take a step back for a little while longer, okay?”
noah takes a moment to think about it. he should probably listen to her, considering she's usually right, especially about stuff like this. he's not sure if she's psychic or if she has some sort of mind reading spirit whispering in her ear all the time, but she's somehow able to tell something might go wrong and always makes an attempt to stop it before anything can happen. noah groans quietly, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. he rests his hand back on the table with a small huff before he finally answers her.
“okay…”
gwen smiles and the topic is forgotten quicker than izzy forgets to take her meds. they don't bring up the subject again, instead actually getting some food and coffee and talking about how their first classes of the day went. gwen talked about courtney, because of course she did. he smiles knowingly at her when she first says her name and she rolls her eyes fondly before going back to gushing about her pretty hair or how smart she is and how she can't wait for their date tonight.
noah isn't jealous. he might not be over it, but there is no way, no chance in hell, that he is jealous.
·. * ~ ☆ ~ * .·
for the record, he said he should probably listen to gwen. he never said he actually would.
okay, well, technically he actually did say that, but what is a verbal agreement if not a promise bound to be broken?
but a few days later, as he sits down at a booth table and spots a familiar, charming smile thrown his way, he's starting to think he maybe should've kept his promise, because his heart jumps at the sight. not good.
“noah, good to see you.”
he greets, his voice as smooth as ever and as much as noah doesn't want to admit it, still just as intoxicating. definitely not good.
“hey, alejandro.”
he almost ends at ‘ale’, but he forced himself to say his full name. he can't start calling him the nickname he used to again. this isn't a date like old times. they're just two people catching up who happen to be exes. and this is how noah is going to get over it, he's decided.
it’s just coffee.
“sorry i'm late. got stuck in traffic.”
alejandro waves a hand in dismissal and it reminds noah of all the other times he did that whenever he apologized for being late. he holds back a sigh.
“it's fine. i know you're late to a lot of things, not just our meetups.”
he doesn't call them dates. noah is grateful. he’s not grateful of the reminder that alejandro knows him.
the smaller man takes off his jacket when he sits down, pushing it to the space on the side of the booth as he looks around at the lively diner the two have found themselves in.
“so, where'd you hear about this place? i didn't think you'd ever want to step foot in a diner. normally you avoid places like this like the plague.”
alejandro laughs and joins noah in looking around, smiling at all the pretty, purple lights and the vintage decor covering the walls.
“ah, yes, i usually make my meals myself. i rarely go out to eat, it's only for special occasions. or if heather decides she needs to drag me out to some party and she ends up either high or drunk and i take her to mcdonald’s because she won't stop whining about it.”
he chuckles quietly and noah huffs out a laugh. his amusement is slightly dulled by one thought:
‘who’s heather?’
“but i put that rule aside because, well, this isn’t really a meal. just coffee.”
he automatically assumes she's a girlfriend. surely she is, because there's no way alejandro's still single when he looks like that. he honestly hopes that's the case. then he wouldn't be feeling the horrible, disgusting, tiny spark of hope in his chest. it's not meant to be there. this isn't anything. he doesn't love him anymore. he doesn’t.
alejandro must somehow see the thoughts running through his mind, because he soon makes a noise of realization and continues.
“oh, right, you don't know her. heather is my best friend.”
god damn it.
“she can be kind of annoying sometimes, but i love her. she's like a sister, you know? oh, of course you do; you've got eight.”
god fucking damn it.
noah laughs a little and hearing the fact that alejandro remembers something about him hurts somewhere. it's not like he expected him to forget all about him, maybe just that he hoped he would. he's honestly not surprised he remembers his sisters, though; they had been pretty intense the first time they met him.
‘stop it. not thinking about the past right now. you're moving on.’
“right, no i totally get it. does she also give you aggressive advice?”
“like she’ll die if she doesn’t.”
he rolls his eyes, keeping the amused smile on his face as he talks. noah snorts at his answer.
from there, things feel… natural. like old times, in a way. noah finds himself smiling and laughing the whole night through, whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing, he isn’t sure. but he feels pretty good right now, so he’d say it’s not bad. gwen might disagree, but she doesn’t need to know about this. does he feel bad keeping secrets from one of his best friends? of course. does he know he probably should’ve listened to her? yes. but right now, he isn’t thinking about it, so he doesn’t care. all he’s thinking about is how he’s having a surprisingly nice time.
he has a good time at the diner, and because he had such a good time with a guy he thought he would never see again and hate for all eternity, he accepts his offer to continue their conversation at his apartment. he has a good time on the car ride there, he has a good time when they keep talking at alejandro’s apartment, and he has a good time when they end up busting out the wine. he doesn’t think about how he’s directly going against what gwen told him, he doesn’t think about how it was good advice, he doesn’t think about how things ended between he and alejandro.
he doesn’t think at all when their lips come crashing together.
·. * ~ ☆ ~ * .·
noah isn’t having such a good time when he wakes up the next morning.
he can feel sunlight shining directly over his closed eyelids, and he groans at the disturbance of peace. reluctantly, he blinks open his eyes and stares at the just barely open curtains across the room from him.
and then he opens his eyes wider, because his bedroom has blinds, not curtains.
‘shit.’
he sits up in bed, — one that he is only now realizing is definitely not his own — ignoring the headrush he gets with the quickness of the action, and turns to his left.
‘fuck !!’
of course, sleeping peacefully next to him is alejandro. noah stares at his familiar sleeping figure, recounting the events of last night in his head as his grimace grows. he really should’ve listened to gwen. god, he’s such an idiot !! it was just meant to be coffee, what the hell was he thinking when he took that first sip of wine?!
he swiftly gets out of bed and begins collecting his clothes up off the floor. every second he spends getting ready is filled with guilt and dread and fear of alejandro waking up while he’s trying to leave without him noticing. once he’s fully dressed and got his bag and jacket, he rushes out the front door, just as he had the other morning on the day he saw him again in that cafe. he continues booking it down the stairs and eventually, out the actual building. it might be the most he’s run in months, maybe years.
he exhales heavily once he’s out on the street, shoulders hunched and messenger bag almost slipping off them a few times. he walks for a while, just trying to get some distance between himself and the apartment building like alejandro might come rushing out at any second and he’ll be forced to talk about what happened with him.
once he decides it’s safe to stop, he looks around. he looks at the street he’s found himself on, lined with little stores and cafes and the likes. he recognizes it. he’s pretty sure gwen’s street is a little over 10 minutes away by car. he looks up at the shop he happened to pause in front of and wastes no time stepping in when he sees it’s a record shop, not enough people for it to be crowded, but enough for his quiet voice to be drowned out along with the music. he pretends to look around for a bit before stepping into an empty corner and immediately calling gwen. it rings once, twice, three times, before she picks up.
“noah !!”
uh oh. she sounds worried. does she know? how would she?
“where the hell are you, man? i thought you died !!”
“… why?”
“you weren’t answering your phone at all last night !! extended team e-scope was tryna get a hold of you and when you didn’t pick up after 8 missed calls, they asked me to call you. you didn’t pick up a single time. you scared me, dude !! don’t ever do that again, god.”
“oh, sorry i was… a little busy…”
there’s a pause. noah winces at his own words and he can practically feel gwen’s suspicion through the phone. he sighs.
“listen, um… do you think you could pick me up? i’m at that music store you like, what was it? bittersweet records, or something, yeah. i think… i think i messed up.”
gwen wastes no time hanging up after hearing that. she also manages to get there in about five minutes. noah doesn’t want to think about how she did that or how she still has her license with the amount of not-so-legal turns she makes all the time.
he drops into the passenger seat of her car and keeps his eyes glued to the dashboard, fidgeting with the strap of his bag as gwen stares directly at him, her gaze looking rather sympathetic and concerned. after a few seconds more of silence, she starts driving. and after a few minutes of driving in silence, she finally speaks.
“so… what happened? are you alright, dude?”
“yeah, i’m fine, i just…”
he thinks for a moment, refusing to look her in the eyes and instead focusing on his fidgeting hands. this was a bad idea. he should’ve listened to her. this wasn’t meant to happen. he can almost feel his phone buzzing in his pocket. he is not excited to receive a message from him, but he can’t help but wonder what it might say. he doesn’t want to dwell on the thought for very long though, so he sighs and finally looks at the goth.
“i’m definitely not over it.”
it doesn’t take her very long to figure out what he means by that. she gapes at him and he looks away again when she focuses back on the road.
“noah…”
“i know, i know, i should’ve taken your advice… but it was just meant to be coffee.”
he whines, sinking further into his seat.
“it’s never just coffee.”
she sighs. noah nods sadly in response.