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The first time Karma noticed anything off was back in first year.
Every once in a while Nagisa would pass on having lunch with him a few days in a row then come back after like nothing happened.
It was odd but, at the time, Karma hadn’t suspected anything.
That changed during third year, he was searching for Nagisa at lunch and couldn’t find him anywhere.
He checked around with Kayano, and Sugino, and basically anyone else Nagisa tended to hang out with but he was nowhere to be found.
Right before the end of lunch Nagisa appeared again.
“Where’d you run off to? I’ve been looking for you.”
“Oh, sorry, just went to eat lunch by myself. What did you need me for?”
“Just wanted to run over your notes again, since when do you eat lunch by yourself?”
“I just feel like it sometimes, nothing to worry about.”
Yeah. Whenever Nagisa said something was “Nothing to worry about” it was always something deeply concerning.
The last time he’d said it was when Karma inquired about the gym teacher he’d supposedly taken down. Karma only learned later that the very same gym teacher had injured several students and challenged Nagisa to a fight with a real knife.
“You sure?”
“Of course. C’mon, my notes are in my bag.” And he topped it off with the “Of course.” That meant he knew it was something worrying and chose to hide it anyway. Just perfect.
~
The next day Nagisa was a bit quieter. Karma followed him when he hid away for lunch.
Karma knew something was wrong but he didn’t know what to expect.
Safe to say he was surprised when Nagisa didn’t really do anything odd or out of character.
He read a few chapters of the book they were reading for English, wrote some stuff in his notebook, and did a bit of studying.
The only notable thing was that he didn’t seem to eat lunch. Karma walked up to him.
“Whatcha up to?”
“Oh, hey Karma, just doing some studying. Were you interested in my notes again?”
“Nope, just curious.” He plopped down beside Nagisa, “What’d you have for lunch?”
“Nothing crazy, rice, egg rolls, some veggies.” Karma had been watching Nagisa all lunch and hadn’t so much as seen a bento box. Why would Nagisa lie about eating lunch?
Karma decided not to push it for now. He wasn’t the type to dance around the issue but Nagisa often was and sometimes it was more effective to use someone’s own tactics against them.
~
It was mostly the same the next day, Nagisa skipped lunch and lied when asked what he’d eaten. Only, he was even more out of it.
He looked tired, he’d zone out randomly and even when he was talking his eyes seemed shallow.
No one else seemed to notice.
Near the end of the day everyone was walking back into school after gym—which Nagisa had been noticeably dazed and slow throughout—when he collapsed to the ground.
Karma rushed to him and checked his breathing and pulse. His heart rate was noticeably slow and his breathing was slightly uneven.
“Get a teacher!” Someone shouted.
Mr Karasuma heard it and quickly ran towards them. “What’s-“ he took in the scene in front of him. “What happened?”
“He just dropped!”
“Any idea why?”
“I-“ Karma hesitantly spoke, “I don’t think he’s been eating.”
Mr. Karasuma’s usually immovable expression shifted slightly. “Karma, get him on his side,”
Karma moved Nagisa to the back wall, in the shade, and turned him over, unsettled at how light he was.
Mr. Karasuma nodded, “Someone else call an ambulance.”
“There’s no way they’d make it up the mountain.” Isogai pointed out.
“Shit, okay, then someone get some kind of sweet drink from the vending machine. Karma, try to wake him but be careful with it, nothing too aggressive.”
He called to Nagisa and gently squeezed his shoulders. Kayano ran back with a strawberry pop of some kind.
“Give him the soda when he wakes up.”
It was only a minute or two before Nagisa’s eyes lightly fluttered open but it felt like so much longer. Karma shifted him semi-upright. “Drink.”
Maybe out of confusion or maybe out of tiredness—it didn’t really matter—Nagisa slowly sipped it without question.
Mr. Karasuma sent everyone else back to class, worried that all the eyes would be overwhelming.
After ten minutes or so Nagisa’s mind was clearing and Mr. Karasuma gave him a meat bun from his own lunch which Nagisa quickly refused.
“Your blood sugar is all screwed up, you need to eat.” He offered again.
Nagisa didn’t respond.
Karma piped up, “Nagisa, if my theory is right you haven’t eaten in like three days, you need to eat something.”
He turned to Karma, looking at him like a deer in headlights.
“What, you thought no one would notice you hiding away and skipping lunch? My only question is why.” Nagisa turned to hide, “Nagisa.”
“I just haven’t been super hungry lately.”
“That’s not how the human body works.” Karma wasn’t going to let this go.
“I don’t know what else to tell you.”
“How about the truth?” Nagisa still didn’t give. “You-“
“It’s a health thing, a diet that I go on sometimes.” He nervously fidgeted with his fingers, “It usually doesn’t go over two days at a time but I got a bit carried away.”
Karma didn’t buy that for a second—frankly, Mr. Karasuma didn’t seem to buy it either. It was oddly worded and completely out of character for Nagisa. They both held off for now.
Karma offered the meat bun. “Eat.”
Hesitantly, Nagisa held it and took a small bite. Before long he’d finished the entire thing.
“Not hungry my ass.” Karma smirked.
Nagisa rolled his eyes but there was no heat. He laughed lightly, “Thanks Karma, and you too Mr. Karasuma, thank you.”
“It’s my job to keep you kids safe, no thanks necessary.”
“Maybe, but even if you’re only doing it for work it means a lot that you’re always here when we need you.”
Mr. Karasuma didn’t seem to know what to say for a moment. He pulled out a few thousand yen bills, gave them to Nagisa and gently ruffled his hair. “Get some more food on the way home, okay? Can’t kill the octopus if you can barely swing the blade.”
Nagisa briefly hesitated to take the money, “Okay, but I’ll pay you back.”
“Not happening.” Mr. Karasuma and Karma exchanged glances as he walked off.
They both knew that Nagisa was still keeping something from them and Mr. Karasuma knew Nagisa would never say it to him willingly.
He left it in Karma’s hands.
As soon as he was back in the building and couldn’t hear Karma asked again. “Okay, now tell the actual truth.”
“Huh?”
“You lied to Mr. K, I want the truth.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah you do. Don’t lie to me, you suck at it.”
“I told you already, It’s a diet thing.”
“I don’t doubt that, what I doubt is that you chose to do it.” Karma’s gaze was firm, “I also have a feeling that going longer than ‘normal’ was intentional, not accidental.”
He wasn’t budging.
“Nagisa, please.”
That made Nagisa stare, surprised.
Karma didn’t say please. He made a point to avoid the word, it made him vulnerable. It showed that he cared.
Most people didn’t deserve it in his mind, but Nagisa did.
Karma watched as he considered what to say, whether or not he should lie. His shoulders slumped and he pulled his knees close.
“It’s a diet my mom puts me on when she thinks I’m gaining too much weight.”
Karma’s intense anger seeped into his expression.
Nagisa noticed, “It’s not that serious, really.”
“It is that serious. I picked you up earlier and you were really light, alarmingly light.”
“You’re exaggerating it.”
“I’m not. If your mom thinks that’s healthy she’s completely mental.”Nagisa looked astounded, like Karma had revealed to him a secret of the universe. “I’m not a doctor but even I can tell you’re super underweight. You’re functioning on the bare minimum, it’s no wonder you’ve been so out of it lately.”
He didn’t respond.
“I’ll be back in a minute, just stay there.” Karma got up and made his way inside. All eyes turned to him as he walked into the classroom.
“He’s doing better, I’m just grabbing his stuff and taking him home.” He strolled across the room, grabbing his bag then moving towards Nagisa’s.
Right as he bent down to pick it up Nakamura whispered in his ear, “Text me all the details later.”
Karma looked at her and was again reminded of how annoyingly perceptive she could be. “Shut up.”
He walked out without giving her another glance, knowing that he’d probably end up on a call with her later that night pretending to be emotionally detached when recounting the day’s events.
As annoying as Nakamura could be she knew how to keep a secret. Almost scarily so.
Karma almost didn’t even realize she wasn’t into guys, almost.
He slid the classroom door shut behind him, sighed, and walked back around to Nagisa.
“C’mon,” Karma pulled him up by the hand and Nagisa stumbled immediately.
He steadied himself and apologized, “Sorry, everything went dark for a second.”
“That’s iron deficiency, yet another side effect of this dumbass “diet.””
“Where are you even dragging me?”
“We’re using the money Mr. K just gave you and getting you a proper meal.”
They walked down the mountain, mostly in silence. Near the bottom Karma spoke up, “So, where do you wanna eat?”
“Well, Mr. Karasuma gave me-“ he pulled out the bills and was about to start counting when Karma snatched them from his hands.
“Ah ah ah, no restrictions. We use whatever Mr. K gave you and I’ll cover the rest, kay?”
“But-“
“Rhetorical question. Now, non-rhetorical question: Where are we going to eat?”
“I’m fine with whatever, you can pick.”
“No. Pick somewhere.”
“Uh, I dont know, maybe that nice ramen place by your house?”
“Perfect, let’s go there.”
~
They got a table for two and before long Nagisa had eaten two full bowls, Karma hid his smile behind his hand.
Nagisa was in much better spirits as they paid and left.
“You want me to walk you home?” Karma asked.
Nagisa’s face fell, “Home…”
“What?”
“Nothing, just…my mom’s gonna be so pissed when I get home, not only am I really late but I also ate a bunch of ramen.”
“Why don’t you just come over to mine for a while then?“
“You sure?”
“Yeah, we can watch a movie or something. The director of that crime flick you liked just released a new movie.”
“…Okay, yeah. Sounds good.”
~~~
Karma’s house was warm, not just the temperature but the energy as well. Nagisa’s apartment was always tense, even when his mom was in a good mood something could always set her off, it was like walking on a tightrope.
As obnoxious as Karma could be sometimes Nagisa was never on edge with him. Contrary to what most people thought Karma didn’t hurt people for no reason, sure he had a tendency to take it a bit far but there was always logic behind it. Even if sometimes Nagisa didn’t fully understand that logic.
He put his bag down in the usual spot by the door, took off his shoes and followed Karma into the living room.
“You want anything? Food? Drink?”
Nagisa sat down and pulled his knees up to his chest, “After that meal? No, I’m good.”
“Kay, I’ll just start up the movie then.” Karma hopped onto the couch next to Nagisa, arm up on the back cushions, and flicked through Tubi for the Movie.
A few minutes into the movie Nagisa glanced at Karma, just in time to watch him quickly turn back to the TV.
He felt a light warmth cross his face.
About half way through Nagisa felt his eyelids grow heavy. He tried to stay awake but it’d been a long few days, he drifted off.
~~~
Karma noticed that Nagisa was drifting off but he was still surprised when he felt his weight on his side.
He stared at Nagisa’s serene expression, he looked so peaceful.
Karma gently took out Nagisa’s pigtails, he remembered Nagisa complaining one day about falling asleep in them and having a headache.
Soft blue strands passed between his fingers as he brushed a hand down Nagisa’s head.
Karma wrapped his arm around his shoulders and pulled him just a bit closer.
For once Karma had no idea what to do.
He’d spent years observing every detail and finding the best way to move forward but he’d never dealt with a situation like this. He could go to the police, report child neglect, but with Nagisa’s attempts to hide it or brush it off there’s no way he’d let Karma do it.
If he did it anyway would Nagisa ever forgive him? It was selfish but he was the first and only person Karma had ever gotten close to.
Karma had already pushed him away once, he didn’t want to make the same mistake again.
How do you give help to someone who doesn’t want it?
Karma listened to Nagisa’s soft breaths and decided that he’d figure it out later, for now he let himself hold the boy he’d fallen for. To hide away in the house that didn’t feel like home until Nagisa stepped in.
To forget for just a moment how unfair the world was.