SwampJuice



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    When Jamil Viper first met Kalim Al-Asim, he was given one command above all else: treat Lord Kalim as your god.

    Jamil thought it was figurative.

    He was wrong.

    Kalim isn’t some “secret heir” that was hidden away until now to protect him from assassinations and kidnappings. He’s a deity. An ancient god who saved the Asim Family Founder from dying in the desert and is the reason for their endless wealth now.

    Kalim is The Oasis Maker. His unfathomable magic can make it rain gold just as easily as water.

    But despite being able to defy the laws of reality itself, Kalim is mentally just a child – a sneaky runaway from the heavens who just wants to play in the mortal realm.

    To do so, Kalim must have a human anchor to keep him tethered to this world.

    Unfortunately, he chooses Jamil.

    Watch as Jamil endures the chaotic ups and downs of:

    -Growing up with a childish but terrifying god with little restraint or social sense (and is ESPECIALLY protective and attached to Jamil)

    -Struggling to repress his own growing romantic feelings

    -Desperately trying to hide Kalim’s true nature from everyone (especially the suspicious eyes of those at NRC)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,124
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    198
    Kudos:
    592
    Bookmarks:
    118
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    10,532

    15 Jul 2026

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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Nah, Shane would be a terrible Traitor,” Ilya said. Ilya took hold of Shane’s face, squishing his cheeks and making his lips puff out like a fish. “Everyone look at this face. You really think he can lie?” Ilya yanked Shane’s face closer to him, making Shane stumble. Some of his ginger ale sloshed out of the can. “You think he can lie to me? Please.”

    Shane rubbed his cheeks with a frown once his husband released him. “Thanks, I guess.”

     

    OR: Shane and Ilya go on the very first MLH edition of The Traitors and chaos ensues.

    (Chapters will alternate between the full Traitors episode and the Twitter reaction)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    91,154
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    698
    Kudos:
    2,406
    Bookmarks:
    771
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    53,992

    19 Apr 2026

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    Shane Hollander can't stand being touched.

    Each touch leaves behind ugly marks and pain, and it's the reason why he never had a Dom or any serious relationship. His friends—and in particular Ilya Rozanov—propose a bet to find him a compatible Dom, someone whose touch doesn't burn.

    And it turns out that the most compatible person is much closer than one might think.

    OR
    touch-starved feral cat Shane vs grumpy protective Ilya

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,704
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    278
    Kudos:
    2,093
    Bookmarks:
    359
    Hits:
    31,778

    18 Apr 2026

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    Flying down the ice, Ilya takes the puck around the back of the net and backhands it towards the farthest corner of the top shelf of the Metros net. It’s a nearly impossible shot, especially at this speed, but Ilya’s executed it perfectly. Surely not even Hollander could-

    Hollander’s glove whips out at a blinding speed and snags the puck out of the air, and Ilya snarls, hissed Russian profanity spitting between his clenched teeth.

    The score is only 1-0 in favor of the Metros. But that single goal might as well be worth 10 with how impossible it feels to match. All they need is one goal. One.

    But it seems like Hollander isn’t going to let them have it.

    OR

    Shane goes on a slightly different path, becoming a goalie instead of a forward and joining the draft one year earlier than Ilya. In different positions, and in different draft years, they're not pitted as rivals against each other from the start, but they catch each other's attention anyway. Shane's goalie-ness allows him to be freer about who he is and what he wants, and Ilya tries not to trip over his skates as he catches glimpses of those freckles behind a hockey mask.

    (He doesn't quite succeed).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,150
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    522
    Kudos:
    2,078
    Bookmarks:
    769
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    49,343
  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Well. I came out to the team as gay a few weeks ago. Apparently they decided they’d rather spend their time calling me a ‘geisha whore’ and standing around than doing their fucking jobs,” Shane said, dejectedly. He kept his voice low as they got into position for the game to start so the ref wouldn’t hear. His eyes trained on the ground, ready for the drop. He couldn’t force himself to look at Ilya in that moment.

    “What.” Rozanov’s voice was low as he growled the word out.

    Shane braved a glance upwards, hoping he wouldn’t see more disgust. While he did find it in Ilya’s eyes, it seemed to also be mixed with a twinge of sadness and pure, unadulterated anger. Ilya let out a harsh puff of breath.

    Unsure of how Ilya felt about his confession, Shane went on, “Yeah it’s whatever man. Sorry, I shouldn’t have-“

    “No. You don’t apologize. Motherfuckers.”

     

    AU where Shane is slightly older than Ilya. Shane captains the metros while Ilya captains the centaurs. Shane tries to come out to his teammates and much to the horror of the centaurs, they do not take it well.

    Aka Ilya decides it’s time for Shane to learn what it means to be loved and supported… romance shall ensueee

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,839
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    865
    Kudos:
    4,237
    Bookmarks:
    1,287
    Hits:
    98,612

    12 Apr 2026

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