Chapter Text
It was a random Tuesday, but something felt different.
I woke up drowsily to the fruity scent I’ve always been fond of. My eyes felt heavy to open and my eyesight was blurry, yet it still paved way to someone familiar.
“Good morning, Jagiya.”
Is this real or still part of my dream? It can’t be, she somehow looks different from when I was with her in my sleep.
“What are you doing here?”
My voice came out hoarser than I wanted her to hear. I tried sitting up but then my body felt as heavy as my eyes when I tried to open them fully earlier. She helped me sit up, took a glass from my desk, poured water from the pitcher beside it, and then gave it to me, both her small hands holding onto it with a face full of concern.
“Thanks,” I said softly, maybe in attempt to lessen her worries.
“I came here thinking you got rid of your fever but then it looks like I’m actually bothering you.”
“I did get rid of it. I only have slight coughs left, water’s all I need. By the way, what’s with the bonnet? Is your real motive to rob me? That’s rude, especially to a sick person.”
I then proceeded to do fake coughs in front of her and she laughed at my doing so. It looked like she’s not worried anymore, that’s all that matters.
“Oh, shut up. This-“ she points to the bonnet, “is my gift for your recovery.”
“The bonnet?”
“Not the bonnet, it’s under the bonnet. Take it off.”
It was a normal thing for anyone to say but the way she said it made me gulp in want for more water. I haven’t had breakfast yet although I feel full from all the water Rei’s giving me but I still need more, especially after she uttered those three, simple words. No one said a thing until she broke off the silence.
“Is something the matter?”
“N-no…nothing.”
Fuck, did I just stutter?
“Okay,” she said hesitantly. “But, close your eyes while you take it off.”
“Yes ma’am.”
I close my eyes while trying to shake off my previous thoughts. I then slowly lifted my hand, not for dramatic effect, but because I was still nervous around her.
Nervous? We’ve been best friends for nearly seven years yet I was still taken aback by those three words (or maybe even that dream).
My hand probably was in the wrong direction since she took it and led it to her bonnet. Her hand was still soft and holds the same fruity scent as her perfume. I reached her bonnet and took it off. I was about to open my eyes but she cut me off.
“Wait, let me fix my hair.”
So, it must be her hair that she wanted to surprise me. But I sense no difference. As she flings her hair around, it still smells like the same shampoo I gifted her when we were roommates.
“You can now open your eyes.”
I started to slowly open my eyes and what I saw before me, stunned me. Rei’s new honey blonde hair filled my view. Her hair color closely resembled her slightly tanned skin but still a visible difference that makes her skin glow even more. The new hair also enhances her features, like her eyes that look like they’re expecting a word from me and her lips that I’ve been paying more attention to right now than any other part of her face.
As I continue to study her, a blush crept into her soft, round cheeks and her plump lips started to thin into a shy grin.
“Does it not suit me? I wanted to try something new,” she fidgets her hair, “and you said you missed my blonde hair but this isn’t the blonde hair I had before so you may be disappointed but I still-“
“No, it looks great. Well, not just great. If I could think of words better than great, I would. But, I can’t just think of any so yeah it looks great. It really suits you-“
We started to ramble on about our opinions, then we suddenly stopped after realizing how fast we were talking and laughed at the same time.
“But yeah, it really suits you.”
Her earlier blush and shy grin came back and it was accompanied by a small thank you. This was the first I’ve seen her like this as she usually was the more confident between the two of us. Silence then came back after her whispered gratitude and she once again took the chance to break it off.
“Oh, I just remembered, you were muttering my name in your sleep…did you dream of me?” She said very teasingly while wiggling her eyebrows. It was my turn to reply to her previous blushed cheeks and bashful grin.
I tried forming the right words to say about my dream. But I just can’t form anything to say, especially when it was about us hooking up and then suddenly leaving me after.
“Uh, I can’t really remember what happened. You might have heard me wrong.”
“Okay…” she sounded unconvinced again.
“Anyways, have you really recovered?”
“Yes, why?”
“It might seem sudden but I decided that I kind of wanted to explore my love life and I want to start mingling with other people to date. Yujin-unnie wanted to go drink, so she insisted for me to join her to the new bar in Seoul later tonight. That way, she can drink her worries away from her breakup and I can find someone to maybe start hanging out with.”
“It is sudden but, alright?”
“So…maybe you want to join us?”
“For you to socialize with other people and leave me with Yujin-unnie in case something happens, right?”
“Precisely! I’m not forcing you, though.”
“Yeah, I’ll go.”
“Really?”
“For you. I don’t want you hooking up with some weirdo. So, I’m not only taking care of Yujin-unnie but also you, Jagiya.”
“Thank you!”
She slightly jumped from the bed to tackle me into a hug and I can feel her smiling against my neck. I don’t like the idea of Rei dating. Not because I like her or anything, but she’s a friend I truly cherish. However, if it makes her happy like this, so be it.
—
I’m currently standing outside my apartment, waiting for Rei’s call to know if they are near. Yujin-unnie’s using her new car to pick us up after she got her license just a month ago. I told them earlier that I would just grab a taxi to go there while Rei and Yujin-unnie can go together since their places are closer, but she insisted for me to go with them so she can flaunt her driving skills.
As I look at the skyscrapers surrounding my apartment, wondering if we’ll arrive safely at the bar, I got startled by a call.
“Jagiya?”
“Oh, quit calling each other that. It makes me want to vomit,” Yujin-unnie cut off Rei as she was about to respond.
“You’re just bitter after your breakup. Also, don’t stop looking at the road, we might crash.”
“Yeah…I don’t think I want you guys picking me up.”
“On your left.”
A grey Kia Carnival closes near where I stand. Yujin-unnie opens the passenger seat’s window.
“Get inside.”
I look at Rei and say, “Jagiya, is this really safe?”
“Maybe, well at least I’m alive.”
I hop onto the backseat and told Yujin-unnie to drive safely. As we drove off, I just noticed Rei’s phone is connected to the vehicle audio and is playing the playlist I made for her birthday three years ago. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling but should’ve stopped before Yujin-unnie looked at me teasingly. I mouthed her eyes on the road and thankfully she did stop.
About thirty minutes after, we arrived at the bar. I was the last to step outside Yujin-unnie’s car but instead of looking at the wide entrance of the bar, it was Rei who caught my attention and the loud music coming from inside couldn’t even pull me away from my trance.
She was wearing a simple white shirt with cap sleeves and a much more closed neckline than average. It wrapped around her so perfectly, you could see the outline of her body. Then, it was paired with a short, grey miniskirt and under it were same-colored capri pants. The look finished off with black knee-high stockings slipped into two-toned flat, leather shoes with a bow on the edge, adding a subtle cuteness to the overall chic appearance.
No one can pull this kind of look better than Rei. Even after examining every part of her outfit, I couldn’t look away from her. Thankfully, just right before she was about to turn to me, Yujin-unnie kept elbowing me on my side.
“Ow.”
“You’re too obvious,” she whispers.
“Obvious?” I whisper back.
“Here we go again, denying about your feelings.”
“I do not have feelings for Rei and even if I do, I will still choose to not put it in display if it means ruining our friendship and cutting off ties.”
“Don’t look at me like that and don’t bring my situation to yours.”
“It’s your fault for being affected-“
“Guys, what are you doing?”
It took a bit of time before we responded, “We were just admiring how the bar looks, right Liz?”
“Yeah, it looks great.”
“Okay then, let’s better get inside.”
Rei led the way while the two of us continued bickering with our eyes.
The bar was filled with different people at different areas. Some were sitting on the stools of the service bar, chatting with the bartenders or amongst themselves. Others were dancing on the dance floor to the loud music the DJ played. Most of the people here were settled in groups of familiars, chatting in different booths to conduct business deals, reconnect with past friendships, or even just interacting casually.
The one that stands out the most to me was the area where people played truth or dare. After observing for a while, we found out that if you couldn’t answer in truth or accomplish a dare, where the prompts were displayed on a big screen, you are obliged to donate half a million won to the bar and drink something they call “Death in the Afternoon.”
Scary.
All the three of us try to avoid that place and acquaint ourselves towards the service bar. As we find ourselves on the stools, we order our drinks. I ordered their strongest draft beer, Yujin-unnie ordered a scotch whiskey, while Rei ordered a sunset cocktail.
“You’re going hard tonight,” I point out.
“You have Wonyoung to thank for that.”
“Oh, shut up. You guys have never entered into a relationship.”
And then she gulped down her whiskey. The bartender, Rei, and I looked at each other with wide eyes. Rei brushed it off for Yujin-unnie with an awkward laugh and signaled the bartender to bring another whiskey for her.
“That’s exactly why I’m here,” she says while patting Yujin-unnie’s back as she starts breaking down.
As much as the thought of Rei finding her potential match tonight hurts me, I should be there for her to support her happiness. Too bad her happiness is my sorrow.
“Me too.”
Yujin-unnie’s crying stopped and Rei also stopped patting her back for both of them to look at me. They look astonished from what I just said and I cannot blame them, I’m also shocked from my impromptu statement.
“I mean, I’m not really on the hunt to find someone but if someone might interest me, why not try, right?”
Yujin-unnie looked like she couldn’t believe it but still looked proud. On the other hand, Rei’s expression is something I couldn’t decipher.
“That’s good for you,” she says and gulps down on her cocktail.
Did I offend her?
“I’m not trying to possibly steal people that you may like, and you should tell me who you like so I won’t get in your way. But since we’re already here with a lot of people that are maybe available, I should try…I guess.”
“I’m not offended, don’t worry. I was just taken aback, like Yujin-unnie.”
“Yeah, what about your long-time crush?”
I eyed her to shut up and she puts a hand over her mouth. Unfortunately, Rei saw me.
“What’s this about and why does Yujin-unnie know but I don’t?”
She seems angry.
“This is just a schoolmate I’m close with. I don’t have a crush on her but Yujin-unnie thinks I do,” I eyed her again to stop her from making more misunderstandings, “It’s something she teases me with. That’s all, don’t be angry,” I finish off.
“First, you think I’m offended. Now, you think I’m angry, Well, I’m not. I’m just confused about all these revelations about you. I just thought we don’t keep secrets from one another. But I guess I’m mistaken.”
She finishes off her cocktail and orders another. I finish off my beer too and ordered another also.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s-“
“Hey, do you mind if I grabbed you to the dance floor?”
This tall man with bleached hair suddenly approached us and tapped Rei before she could finish off what she was about to say.
Instead of Rei replying, I said, “She was about to say something, let her finish first.”
“Oh, I’m sorry for being rude to interrupt. It looked gloomy here and-“
“You aren’t interrupting anything. And sure, I’ll go with you.”
“Alright!”
I was pissed when the guy cheered in getting Rei as if she was some prize to be won. My heart clenched at the sight of the guy grabbing Rei away from us (from me) and how Rei denied we weren’t in the middle of something. All I could do is look away and accept how louder my heart sounded than the music they danced to.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, it isn’t your fault. It’s mine. If I accepted how I truly feel about Rei and told her about it, I wouldn’t be in this mess where my best friend is mad at me.”
“You’re finally admitting what you feel, but it takes courage, you know.”
“Then…you’re really brave unnie.”
“Hmm?”
“You’re brave for telling Wonyoung about how you feel, unlike me. It’s doing more harm than good, I should have listened to you.”
“If you think I only told her to know about how I feel, you’re wrong. I told her to understand why I acted that way around her and to also help myself relieve the hidden emotions I’ve buried alone to endure.”
“But…do you regret it?”
“We might have broken up but I don’t regret in telling her. At the very least, I got to experience a part of my life being with her and her love that she showered me generously.”
Yujin-unnie can be cool even if she acts childish most of the time, but that’s where her charm lies in. She has the time to live freely and happily but when the time needs her to be serious, you can trust her to be. Even if we bicker a lot of times, we also talk deeply about things often. She’s a dependable person and she’s always someone I’d run to if I needed advice on things.
“You need to drink more often. It’s fun seeing you miserable but also mature, like how someone older should be.”
“Oh, shut up,” she jokes while slowly sipping her whisky with a smile, a contrast to earlier.
We kept finishing our drinks, ordering even more, while talking about several things. When we get out of here, I expect a headache to follow from the enormous bill we must pay later on. I’d also wish to say I wasn’t bothered by my situation with Rei but I can’t help taking small glances to where she is. Every time I take a glimpse of her dancing, I do not know what to feel. How can I be bitter for the happiness of a dear friend?
My last look towards Rei that night was blocked by someone.
“Hey cuties, want to join our next round of Truth or Death? A lot of the players are drunk and it’s a bore to play with mindless people,” she pouts.
“Actually, I don’t think-“
“Sure!”
A drunk An Yujin has appeared. This was the reason why Rei wanted me to accompany her and this lightweight unnie as I am the only one who has a high alcohol tolerance between the three of us.
“Yay! Let’s go then!”
I pay our bill and after that, this petite girl linked her arms with me. I know I said I’d explore my options here but I don’t think someone who blatantly clings to strangers is someone suitable for me. Her grip’s kind of tight too.
“I’ll agree to play with you but please don’t include my friend no matter how much she insists. She’s drunk and I don’t trust her when she’s drunk.”
“Alright! It’s you who I want to play with.”
I could only reply with a short, awkward laugh, wishing she would let me go. Yujin-unnie, who’s beside me, looks like she’d fall anytime so I kept holding her. This situation I got myself tangled in is strange.
“I forgot to introduce myself. The name’s Luisa.”
“Hello Luisa, I’m Liz.”
“Pretty name,” she says with a big smile spread on her face.
Up close, the truth or dare section looks overwhelming. As we go nearer, I see what Luisa said; a lot of them seemed too drunk to play, even worse than Yujin-unnie – I speculate it’s from the deadly punishment drink. The tipsy lot looked serious in playing this game, giving their all, but still a hint of playfulness. The big screen, that everyone inside the bar can see, displays not only the prompts but also the name whom it targets.
I see groups huddling over people making out, crying with their makeup ruined after dramatically explaining something, dancing questionable moves my imagination has never thought of, and a whole lot more that’s tiring to say.
This area is definitely another world to delve in.
“Good evening, ladies,” a woman at the counter greeted and added, “do you wish to partake in a game of ‘Truth or Death’?”
“Yes. Is there any fee we must pay to join?”
“For the first five truths or dares, it is free. If you wish to continue, you may approach me to extend your participation and pay 10,000 won for another five prompts.”
“Then, I’ll just use my first five.”
“Please write the names of who want to participate,” she hands a sheet, “and sign next to the name.”
I write my name and sign next to it.
“Will your friend not join?”
“She’s too drunk to act decently, is she not allowed inside?”
“It’s alright, she can accompany you. It’s merely a bummer that another pretty lady can’t join,” she winks at Yujin-unnie and she replied with a bashful grin, “Please head inside now, thank you.”
“Thank you.”
As the three of us head inside, I noticed a prompt for Luisa displayed on the big screen. It reads, ‘Dare: Bring someone to join and make her drink a shot of vodka.’ Luisa then looks at me, pleadingly.
“Where’s the glass?”
She claps with a big grin as a reply. I gulp down the vodka she gave me in less than a second and I hear cheers from a lot of people. My face could only turn red in return.
“You’re good!”
“Thanks. I can take it pretty well.”
“Thank God I picked the right person. Finally, this night won’t be that boring with someone who won’t be drunk easily.”
‘Congratulations,’ the word appeared on the screen after I drank the vodka.
A few seconds later, my name suddenly appeared with the prompt, ‘Truth: Give three descriptions of someone in this bar that you want to make out with.’ My heart’s beating quickly after I read every word, I get nervous since I’m not the straightforward kind. Also, who the hell comes up with these things?
“You should just make up a lie, you don’t want to lose 500,000 won all of a sudden just because you’re a virgin, even in making out. But, I know you actually have someone in mind.”
“What the fuck? You scared me unnie, and you’re sober? That was fast.”
“Luisa gave me a glass of water.”
Yujin-unnie never fails to amaze me. She becomes sober as fast as getting drunk.
“Since you’re sober, do you want to join?”
“No, I’m already having fun seeing you miserable.”
“Oh wow, how the tables have turned.”
“Wise words, right,” she questions smugly.
Luisa interfered, “People are looking, you should answer or you’ll lose a lot of money and drink ‘Death in the Afternoon’.”
“Right…Okay, if I could describe who I want to make out with,” I say with the embarrassment consuming me, “she is shorter than me, has pretty eyes you can’t look away from, and speaks softly that puts you in a trance.”
I could hear the people around me teasing, others whistling at my comment, and I even see two people elbowing Luisa teasingly. If those three descriptions imply Luisa, I’m scared a follow-up prompt would be to actually make out who I want to make out (and in this instance, people, and maybe even Luisa, expects me to choose her).
Congratulations.
It takes around three prompts to get back to me, this game feels kind of unfair on how it returns to me fast. The new prompt is now a dare that reads, ‘Dare: Call your ex and tell her/him you miss them.’
The problem is, I have no ex but I doubt people will believe me.
“Excuse me, but I have never been in a relationship.”
“You’re saying this pretty girl has never been in at least one relationship? Boo,” someone from the back shouts.
“If I can’t do it, which is really impossible that’s why I can’t, would you guys allow my friend the burden?”
“What the hell,” Yujin-unnie whispers.
I hear all of them agree so Yujin-unnie has no choice to do the dare. Sorry, unnie.
She puts out her phone and scrolls through her contact list. As I look over her, I still see that her contact name for Wonyoung is still ‘Forever” with a bunny and heart emoji beside it. All I can feel for her is sadness but I guess not all things in this world is forever. She dials Wonyoung’s number and in less than thirty seconds, she answered the call. Everyone became silent and all you could hear was the music the DJ was playing.
“Hello?”
“Wonyoung?”
“Ah…yes? Is there something I can do for you?”
“Not really. I’m just calling to say I miss you.”
The phone was silent for a minute.
“I’m sorry if I-“
“Me too,” she replied with her voice shaking. The minute of silence between the two was probably due to Wonyoung trying to hold back her tears and Yujin-unnie being confused while letting her try to form the words she wants Wonyoung to say.
“What?”
“I miss you too. Why don’t you come over my new villa tonight? I did tell you you’d be the first person to see it finished.”
“Sure,” then she hangs up.
Everyone jumped around her while unnie softly teared up.
Congratulations.
After our prompt, it was Luisa’s turn. Another dare but this one seemed the most bizarre since I played. ‘Dare: Do a mild body shot of vodka with the person on your left.’ Unfortunately, I’m the person on her left.
“Is it really alright?”
“Yeah, but I don’t really like skin-to-skin situations.”
“Don’t worry, that’s why it’s mild. A mild body shot doesn’t need you to drink the alcohol directly from the other person’s skin.”
“I see.”
“Do you want to be the person drinking or the one being drank?”
She says it so shyly as she fidgets her little fingers. I don’t know if I should be amused or annoyed by my luck. Both scenarios are bad but drinking sounds better, I don’t want to lie on my back waiting to be drank.
“I guess I’ll be the one drinking, if that’s fine with you.”
“Yeah,” she says as she fidgets her fingers more carelessly.
Luisa plops down on the steel table, it looks uncomfortable and cold but it’s the only thing she can lay on. A waiter brought a shot glass of vodka from the service bar we were at hours ago and gave it to me. I slowly placed it on Luisa’s belly and tried to balance it. I’m impressed how Luisa makes it stay still because if it were me, it would’ve fallen off a dozen times from my uneasiness.
“Are you sure you can do this,” Yujin-unnie asks.
“I basically have no choice or else Luisa would be forced to pay and drink for the punishment.”
I gulp down my embarrassment praying Rei’s not seeing this right now. Although, I know she’s too preoccupied by that asshole. As people were cheering me on, I slowly tilted my head towards Luisa and the shot glass. As I draw near, I see how much she’s quivering, it made me a bit less scared knowing I’m not the only one.
I then took the shot – first drinking down what I can drink from this angle, and then grabbing the shot glass with my mouth and lifting my head to consume the rest of it. Everyone’s cheering again.
Congratulations.
Luisa thanks me for what we just did and before I could reply with you’re welcome, another dare displayed on the big screen and it was for me.
‘Dare: Make out with the person you want to make out with the most.’ How funny.
I imagined my future, losing a ton of money then drinking the worst drink I might ever have, over choosing not to kiss someone over this stupid game. I mean, I have a lot of money so I can easily pay this amount and I have a high tolerance with alcohol so this doesn’t scare me.
So, I was about to tell them I’d withdraw from this dare but I could hear people chanting Luisa’s and my name. Luisa then tugs me by the sleeve, catching my attention.
She whispers, “Don’t worry, we’ll make it short. It’s just a kiss.”
I nodded to what she said and closed my eyes as I face her when she held my shoulders. I hear murmurs and noticed she broke off a bit but put her hands back. However, the person who’s holding me doesn’t seem like Luisa. Just as I was about to open my eyes, this person held me by my nape and kissed me.
Strawberry.
Her lips that felt full tasted like strawberries with a hint of a fruity cocktail. She smelled very fruity too but more strongly of strawberry. I grab her waist to lessen our gap and my other hand grabs her hair to pull her even closer. And as I move my hands around her shirt, it gives way to the faint abs I feel on her.
Everything about her reminds me of Rei but I don’t want that. I’m supposed to move on from my feelings that I ran away from, especially when Rei’s about to hook up with that douchebag. But no matter how much I try to run away from my imagination, I could still picture making out with Rei.
We continue for a bit long and I could hear people whistling once more. Yet, it didn’t make me stop since I wanted more from this person. I wanted to continue making out with this person whom I haven’t confirmed if it was even someone familiar. I know we’ve been making out for more than what this dare requires but it doesn’t make me stop, until her whimper does.
She sounds so much like Rei when she’s trying to lift something heavy or when a sudden jolt of pain hits her. My eyes widened from how similar she was to Rei and broke off from the intimate moment. And, it really was her.
Her honey blonde hair that was dyed just for me disheveled, her lipstick with mine stained messily on her pouty lips, her shirt crumpled and a bit lifted that showed more of her hourglass figure, and the blush that crept her cheeks like how they always crept when I complimented or have done something to her that made her happy or embarrassed.
“How- What are you-“
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done this!”
Rei bolted out of the truth or dare area, leaving me dumbfounded. I wanted to process this fast so I can chase after her fading silhouette but it still felt like a dream just happened, something unreal.
On an outside perspective, I looked like I malfunctioned. I couldn’t do what I wanted to do nor say what I wanted to say in this moment where the whole crowd was looking at me until Yujin-unnie slightly shook me back to reality.
“Go after her.”
Right when she finished her sentence, I ran out of the truth or dare area faster than Rei did earlier. I looked around through other areas, the service bar, the private booths, and even the dance floor where Rei was a couple hours ago. I then saw her figure and approached her in an empty hallway where people passed frequently to enjoy other amenities this bar offers.
As I go near her while she looks out the window at the end of the hallway, I noticed tears falling down even when her head was down. Those tears kept falling to the bottle of soju she was holding. It gave my heart a pinch knowing I was the reason behind her being sad.
“Hey. You know you shouldn’t drink a lot.”
I tried my best to say it as soft as I can but it still gave her a bit of a fright. She hurriedly wipes her tears.
“What are you doing here?”
“That was my question, until you ran off.”
“I’m sorry for what I did, it was something very sudden for me to do, you might be confused.”
“Sudden? So, that wasn’t intentional?”
“Yes…”
“Oh, okay. That’s right, you wouldn’t do that,” I said that might’ve sounded bitter.
After a few seconds, Rei broke off the silence again, “What’s wrong?”
“Hmm?”
“You seem off?”
“I don’t get it, what do you mean?”
“You’re acting weird. You act like this whenever you’ve done something wrong or when you’re keeping something from me. I didn’t voice it out earlier at the service bar or even in the morning when I visited but it also felt like you were keeping something that I can’t pinpoint what exactly,” she sounds offended.
“I’m not keeping anything from you.”
“Yes, you are!”
This is the first time Rei shouted at me. I thought I was the most bewildered person here but Rei seems more shocked than me. Her previous widened eyes looked down to her fidgeting hands.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have screamed at you. I know I shouldn’t but I still did. I’m sorry. I thought I knew everything about you and I want to know everything about you but it still is your decision to not tell me everything. I should’ve been a better friend for you and not be sulky about this whole thing. I’m so sorry Liz, I’m sorry for doing all of this to you,” she continues to ramble on with a shaky voice and her head still down.
I cup her face that made her stop talking. I examined the continuous flow of her tears and the already tear stains that marked her cheeks. I see her mouth quivering as she tries to stop crying but it still fails. Instead, she cries even more once she sees me up close. She’s vulnerable and it’s all because of me.
“This is all my fault. I should be the one to say sorry,” I told her before I pull her into a kiss.
The kiss was slow and sloppy, tasting like salted strawberries from her lip balm and our tears, mixed with a hint of soju she drank recently. We were consumed by our respective hunger for each other that we took our time exploring each other’s mouths. The pace then sped up when Rei’s tongue pressed against my lips, wanting to enter. I proceeded to open my mouth and she hurriedly clashed our tongues together. My knees could only weaken and bend as we made out more intensely.
Before I could pull away from our intimate moment to breathe for a while, Rei beat me to it. I thought she pulled away to do the same but it seems like I am mistaken.
“This is wrong,” her voice says as she cups my face, looking down at me with concerned eyes.
I could only stand up properly at my confusion and replied, “I’m sorry, I thought you wanted to…”
“I don’t know what I want. You are a precious friend to me and I’ve only been seeing you as my friend. But…now? I get this weird feeling in my chest whenever I see you with someone else. I mean, this is not the first time but this feels more tangible,” she shares her opinion while trying her best not to look at me.
I reply by cupping her face and slightly pulling it for her to face me.
“If you think that way, you know it’s not wrong.”
“It’s not wrong to love someone, I know that at least. However, it could be a different case for friends, especially best friends.”
“Jagiya, if I told you I saw you more than a friend for years, would you distance yourself from me?”
“You…what?”
“Naoi Rei, I love you as my most cherished friend and that will not change. But I also love you more than a friend and I have loved you that way ever since we’ve gotten closer. Whenever it’s your birthday, I’d always keep myself awake to rush myself in greeting you first when the clock hits midnight. Whenever you’d feel homesick, I try to make the onigiris you love most from your mom even if I suck at cooking. Whenever you’re sick, I’d always wanted to be the one to take care of you. And I also hate getting sick, but if getting sick means getting rained on to accompany you dancing under the falling waters from heaven, then I would gladly be sick.
I love how you’re a little bit shorter than me but still act like you’re taller. I love seeing your faint dimples and round cheeks getting rounder when you smile and laugh. I love the way you laugh at my jokes even if we both know they aren’t funny. I love how you constantly change your hair color, hair style, and appearance to experiment how you look best even if all of it suits you. I love how your voice changes depending on your mood, how it gets softer when you feel shy, louder when you get excited, and sweeter when you call me Jagiya. I love everything cute and awkward about you, Jagiya.”
As I say the things that I love about her the most, I only realized late how my tears continued to fall. Rei, who also cried with me, brought her hands up to my face and wiped my tears while I state my confession.
“Liz, you loser.”
“Yeah, a loser who’s fallen in love with you too deep she can’t escape from it.”
We both chuckle at our current states. It was Rei’s turn to pull me in another kiss, her arms resting at my shoulders while her hands circle around my nape, and mine resting at her waist to pull her even closer. Our bodies hugged perfectly, fitting with one another as if they were only made for each other.
The kiss this time was slower but felt deeper, as if we were trying to memorize every inch of our mouths. I grew impatient by the thought of our tongues’ last encounter, pressing mine against her lips. She softly squirmed from the contact and opened her mouth to accept my hot, messy tongue. I cupped her face more intensely than the last and shoved my tongue deeper, making her moan against my lips.
I felt surrounded by heaven and its angels with all the sounds coming from both our mouths clashing, Rei’s soft moans as her knees slowly gave up, and the feel of her body against mine.
We both noticed the frequent passersby that kept double-looking at the sight of our making out but we didn’t care. In my opinion, the thrill of this public intimacy made me more turned on and I couldn’t help myself kissing deeper into Rei’s mouth, especially when her moans urged me to continue even bolder.
My hands travelled back to her waist as my mouth found a new target to suck, her neck. I took a slight break to breathe before going back to her smooth neck, a canvas that invites me to paint dark red and deep purple onto it in the form of hickeys.
But before doing so, I slowly went to her ear and nibbled it a bit. I went behind her ear and sucked it a little, eliciting a soft moan from her that was mixed by the sound of being tickled.
“Do you have work tomorrow?”
“No,” she answered with heavy breaths.
“That’s good to hear,” I replied with a smug grin on my face.
I proceeded to suck on her neck to give her hickeys. She may not have work tomorrow but in the scenario of going outside, people will know she’s someone that isn’t available. My greed for marking her as mine after wanting her for years drives me to suck even harder, but not to the point it hurts her. It’s a bit painful but with pleasure, her breathy moans are evidence to that claim.
After placing about three or more hickeys, I balance it out by also sucking onto the right side of her neck. She continues to whimper, faster and more evident, as she grips onto my hair harder, pulling it closer into her neck.
After I finished ruining her neck, I went back to her mouth and crashed our lips more hungrily. It was faster and deeper, losing the time to breathe. While making out again, I accidentally brushed my knee against the inside of her thighs.
“Sorry-“
“Fuck,” she whimpered with her head down on my shoulder.
I certainly didn’t move my leg but I could feel movement from her. She slowly bucked against my knee but I stopped her by her waist.
“Jagiya, we can’t do this here.”
“I know but- fuck,” she says as she pushed away my hands and started rolling her hips again.
“Let’s go somewhere else.”
“Fine. My place,” she pouts but I steal a soft peck against her lips, making her smile.
—
I wake up to the same sweet scent I woke up yesterday but combined with the smell of the liquid detergent I often use. My sight was slightly covered by someone’s hair, honey blonde I believe, and the bright light coming from the window made me squint my eyes. I moved the strands of hair away from my face and I see Rei, who looked at me when I moved from her shoulder.
The memories of last night came back to me. The make-outs tasting like liquid courage, intense movements from pushing away our clothed selves, and the worships coming out from both our mouths. A slight red crawled on my neck and up to my cheeks after the quick nostalgia.
I continue looking around and I saw Rei and I wearing different shirts, both plain white, from last night. Mine was the shirt I frequently wore whenever I came to her apartment and hers was the shirt I left here a week ago, still smelling the same scent that lingers around my place.
“You look tired.”
“Hmm, I kind of am,” I murmured as I snuggled back in Rei’s neck, eliciting a soft laugh from her.
“Shouldn’t I be the one to say that?”
“No, you have so much stamina. My hands still hurt until now and my mouth feels kind of numb,” I joked while laughing which she replied with a soft slap.
“Shut up,” it was her turn to look red.
Silence then engulfed the room. But it wasn’t the kind of silence that was awkward to maintain, it was the kind of silence that emitted peace and yearning to stay.
Rei hugged my back to pull me even closer in an embrace, with the hand under my head to caress my hair.
“I wish we could stay like this forever,” Rei’s words that broke the silence lingered.
“We can.”
“So that means…”
“That means?”
“We’re together?”
“Do you want to back out, after last night?”
She tickles me in response after I questioned teasingly, our laughter replacing the earlier silence. After a minute or so, we cuddled back in our previous position before the light bantering.
“Then that settles it, we’re together.”
“Of course, Jagiya,” I reply with reassurance as she kissed my head, and snuggled deeper into her hair.