Work Text:
It's late. You should be going to bed, but you can’t stop staring at your phone. You’ve got work in the morning and it's way past the time you typically wind down for bed.
‘Heard the mission was a success! Drinks on me this weekend :)’
You stare at your message. You know Leon won’t reply today. You always message him on the days he returns but he's always too tired and preoccupied to reply the same day. He’ll get back to you tomorrow or the day after. You know this. You still wait to see if those text bubbles appear.
You miss him. It’s normal to miss friends but this feels different somehow. The feeling sits weird in your gut. Maybe it's because you haven't gotten laid since he’s left, or maybe because you haven’t hung out with anyone either. Both of those answers don’t explain how heavy your heart feels. Something is missing.
You sigh as you turn off your phone, finally deciding it's ridiculous to stay up much longer. You need to get ready for bed. You start your nightly routine; brush your teeth, skincare, and set out an outfit for work tomorrow.
Each step is filled with thoughts of Leon. You wonder how he’s feeling? Missions always make him struggle with his emotions, He’s talked about this with you a few times. Most of the time he feels blank, like his mind refuses to process what he’s been through. A few other times an overwhelming sadness runs through him. He never goes into much detail, but you can see it in his eyes.
Just before you slip into bed, you hear a knock at your door. You jump as your hand grips your chest. Who could that be? It’s almost eleven and you’re not expecting anyone. Your heart pounds as you check the peephole before opening the door.
“Leon?” it comes out as a gasp. Why is he here? Maybe he’s a mind reader and knew you wanted him.
“Hey” He sighs numbly. It snaps you out of your thoughts. You can see how exhausted he is. The bags under his eyes droop and his eyes lack their normal shine.
This is weird…
“Um. Hi..” you reply as you shift your feet. There's a strange feeling sitting in your heart. It’s heavy as you look at him, taking in his appearance. His sweatpants are halfway tucked into his socks, his hair is disheveled, and his jacket is not fitted properly on his shoulders. “What's up?”
“I need uh- i just- I wanted, um,” He stumbles over his words. You see how little energy he has.
Hearing him struggle makes your mind attempt to fill in the blank. ‘You’ you automatically imagine him saying before rolling your eyes at the thought. He’d never say that.
“A distraction?” You finish for him. He pauses for a second before nodding his head, though he doesn’t look convinced of the answer.
“Yeah..”
You can’t help but feel a bit sad at his confirmation, which feels odd to you. You know what you are to him. You’ve been well aware of what your relationship is based on. You are friends who are in a tough field of work. Friends who have trouble building relationships outside of work. Friends who need… distractions.
“Well I'm sure I can provide plenty of that.” you smirk as you open the door wider, inviting him inside. You’re not sure if you’re hiding your disappointment well enough.
You lead Leon to your couch and sit next to him, hand rubbing on his chest. You’ve done this plenty of times before. If you’re not casually hanging out after work, you're having sex. He gets too caught up in work so he needs something to take his mind off it. The same applies to you. This is normal for the both of you, although it is weird that Leon has randomly shown up at your door. This mission must’ve been rough. His hands find your waist as he leads you onto his lap.
“What kind of distraction are you wanting tonight?” You whisper in his ear. Normally Leon prefers to be in a submissive role, but sometimes that takes too long. Sometimes something nice and easy, almost domestic, is what he needs.
“Whatever you want” Leon says as he buries his head in your chest.
“Ohh, how can I ever decide..” You lift his chin to start kissing behind his ear. Your lips leave soft pecks on his skin before taking gentle bites, leaving red spots down to his shoulder. Your tongue gives little licks over the new marks to soothe the sensitive skin.
You feel Leon’s arms wrap around you and pull you closer. You take it as encouragement at first, but something just feels off. Leon is still. Completely still. He’s not making noise or opening his neck more to give you access. You pause for a second before pulling away to stare at his face.
At first he refuses to look at you even though he’s aware of your gaze. You gently cup his cheek and push it towards your direction. His eyes are red and glassy. No tears have fallen yet but they threaten to.
“Oh Leon,” you gasp and distance yourself. “What's wrong?” You start to spiral thinking maybe you made him uncomfortable. Maybe you misread things? Maybe he said no and you didn’t pay attention? He has never cried around you.
“Nothing,” he says as he rubs circles on your waist. “It’s nothing. Keep going.” He snaps out of his trance and tries to pull you closer, but you stay in your position.
“No Leon. It’s not nothing.”
He won’t meet your eyes. His lips are pursed and he refuses to look at you. “I don’t.. I can’t talk about it.”
“Okay,” You sigh and get off his lap, choosing to sit next to him on the couch. His hands struggle to let you go. “Okay. We don’t have to talk about it. But we’re not going further when you’re in this condition.”
Leon nods as his eyes shut. He stands up to begin taking his leave, assuming you’re kicking him out. You grab his jacket and he stops in his tracks.
“You don’t have to leave. Stay for a bit. It might take your mind off things.” You tilt your head with a small smile. He’s still standing and refusing to look at you, but he’s not leaving. You open your arms and signal for a hug which he, surprisingly, immediately accepts.
Leon's arms wrap tightly around you, tighter than you expected. You rub his back gently and refuse to let go. He doesn’t cry, but you can feel his heavy breath where your neck meets your shoulder. He buries himself into that space to be as close to you as possible. You’ll stay like this as long as he needs. It’s weirdly intimate for you two. You laugh at the thought. You’ve seen every inch of each other and explored various kinks plenty of times, but a deep, emotional hug feels strange to you.
Eventually you feel him start to pull away. “I’m sorry.” He says as he sits on the opposite side of the couch from you.
“Don’t apologize. That’s what friends are for.”
“Right, friends.” He doesn't seem convinced of that word either.