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A brisk fall breeze blew at the bundled pair as they promenaded around the reflecting pool at the National Mall. Toby's brown overcoat contrasted Tabitha's bright red flannel.
As they often do when hanging out together, they had chosen a writing challenge for their conversation. A way to keep themselves sharp and the conversation interesting. Today's challenge was to use as many plosives as possible.
Tabitha took Toby's hand as they walked and she said, "I had a good time today, Toby. The News Museum was particulary pleasant." She stopped to pull out her checklist and crossed off the News Museum. "Plenty of pages of places to puruse"
Toby let out a light chuckle. "I thought that perhaps the reflecting pool would be a good place to do some reflecting."
"Or to play pool." Tabitha quipped.
"Previously, I had people pass through my office to represent people with minority identities. They posited that perhaps penning presidential prose proving that these people posess benign perogatives. I told them that the President bringing press to these people would bring predators to prey upon them." Toby cleared his throat. "This part is bound to be pensive, so perhaps we punctuate this plosive practice by placing a period?"
Tabitha's smile wavered at the serious tone of Toby's voice. The difference between that and his happy voice is subtle, but she had spent enough time with him to tell the difference. "Positively."
Being a serious discussion, Tabitha found a bench for them to sit. As good as they are at walking and talking. This was going to deserve her full attention.
She took both of Toby's hands and waited for him to speak.
"One of the people there was educating me on different types of minority identities. He-" Toby paused. "Actually this person told me that they consider themselves to be neither a man nor a woman. I'm still trying to learn about this cross-sex stuff. There is a not a lot of literature available with which to educate myself."
Tabitha interrupted to say, "Well I doubt you'll find it in the Library of Congress, but I assure you that people like that have written plenty. We can try to find some together."
Toby nodded. "I'd like that. Well, the relevant part is this. During a discussion on ways that the administration could make people with minority identities more visible,"
Tabitha interrupted again, "Well you could start by hiring some."
"Yes we could. Although this person pointed out we likely already have hired several, who just are keeping their private lives private. It would take someone brave enough to come out publicly to bring the desired attention. And someone willing to put up with the press."
Tabitha shifted in her seat uncomfortably. She let go of Toby's hands.
Toby looked down at his still outstretched hands. "He- This person was telling me that someone can be attracted to the same gender or they could be attracted to the opposite gender. Straight or Gay. But those weren't the only options. Someone could be attracted to both..."
Tabitha stood and faced away. Toby got up and gently turned her towards him. "Just like you."
"Yes I'm bisexual Toby. But I can't come out publicly. It's like you told me when we first met. About the landmines. If I were to do that, everybody would pay attention to my sexuality instead of my poetry. All of my poetry would be viewed through the lens of a bisexual poet. No one would care what I have to say. And I still have a lot to say." She looked at her feet.
Very gently, Toby put two fingers beneath her chin and turned her gaze to his eyes. "I agree. I wasn't going to say you should come out."
She blushed slightly from her quick assumption. "Oh. Okay. What were you going to say?"
"This person said that someone could also be attracted to neither gender. To not be sexually attracted to anybody. It's called being 'asexual'"
Tabitha sat back and pulled Toby with her.
Toby's voice got softer, sadder. "For a long, long time I've felt like I was broken. Like something was missing. I know I feel love. I love my sisters. I love my friends and the President. And I love my ex-wife."
Tabitha noted the present tense about Andy.
"But none of that love ever transferred to anything sexual. Of course Andy and I had sex. Or tried to. We tell people that we pursued IVF because of Andy's fertility issues, but that's not the whole picture. It's possible she could have gotten pregnant with... ah... persistence. But we could never really make it work. It's one of the many issues that led to our divorce." Toby looked down at his feet.
Tabitha places a hand beneath his chin and pulls his faze up to hers. "You aren't broken Toby. You and I have had sex. It wasn't bad at all."
"But even if you were" he cleared his throat, "satisfied. I never was. In fact it's something I find unpleasant."
"Why didn't you say so? I would never want to force you to do something you're uncomfortable with."
"I didn't want to disappoint you. And doing that would have reinforced the idea that I'm broken. But listening to that explanation, I think I've finally figured it out." Toby kept eye contact. Unblinking. "Tabitha, I'm asexual."
Tabitha leaned in and gave him a long hug. "I like you a lot Toby. I like your mind. I like your voice. I like spending time with you, and I like how much you like spending time with me. I like the way you get nervous when you have something serious to say. I love how you write. And I love you more than I could ever like sex."
Toby let out a deep sigh of relief. " I like spending my time with you.It makes me feel seen. The way you think is unique. I say that I am part of a small handful of writers that can do what I do. But there is no one that can write like you. More than anything else, I want to experience you. And life with you. It has been a long time since I've been happy. But when I'm with you, I can't imagine that I was ever sad."
"So what now?" Tabitha asked.
"I suppose thats really up to you. I see three options. Either we can continue to be together like we have been and work out this incompatibility between our sexualities,"
Tabitha interrupted again, "There are many words I could use to describe us, Toby. Incompatible could never be one of them. I know what you think the other options are Toby. Don't ever think about them again."
She brushed a hand against his face. "Can I kiss your cheek?"
Toby blushed as he nodded. Tabitha leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I love you Toby. I want so badly to spend all our time together."
The two of them got up and walked away from the reflecting pool. It was time for Toby to go back to the west wing and Tabitha to go write. They shared a long hug and left with lighter hearts.