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Outside, crickets chirped sharply in tune. White moonlight flooded the dim apartment, serving as its only light source. Koga sat cross-legged on the floor in the living room, his back dug against the leather couch. Five crushed beer cans lay sprawled on the floor beside him. He cracked a sixth can open and threw his head back to chug it. Leon wedged further in his lap, the corgi’s black, beady eyes looking up at him with concern. Koga lazily scratched his dog’s fluffy ears. He stared out the window, then back at his guitar sitting at his feet. The moonlight hit the wood at a sharp angle. The reflection emphasized the instrument, taunting Koga with his own shortcomings. A productive morning of composing a new riff had ended like this—drinking his thoughts away in the dark.
He angrily slammed down his sixth beer. The alcohol flavor stung in his throat, and his head throbbed and buzzed, and his stomach growled. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast, far too fixated on getting the guitar solo perfect for their next song. Koga blinked slowly at Leon before picking his guitar back up. His corgi could still sense something was wrong; his eyes—comparable to two giant black holes when they widened—stared back at Koga, who huffed and scoffed.
"Hey... quit lookin' at me like that, Leon. I'm fine. Just... tryin' to get this stupid riff right. The tempo's all messed up..."
A growing frustration overtook him throughout the day, rising higher until he completely wore his patience thin. He strummed, sweated, cursed, and failed. He looked down at his sweaty hands, burning hot in contrast to the frigid air coming in from the half-opened window. The guitar strings dug deep marks into his fingertips. Crimson blood glistened on the callouses of his trembling hands. His fingers twitched and stung raw as if they were sanded down to the nerve. Koga saw this as a clear sign to stop, setting his guitar down for the rest of the night. He sighed and opened his mouth to vent his troubles to Leon.
"D’you think he’s gonna like it? The riff... it sounds too loud. Too messy. Not like his stuff. His stuff is... damn near perfect. It’s like he doesn't even have to try. I gotta practice more, man. If I don't... he's just gonna keep lookin' down at me forever."
He lifted Leon, pulling the dog into his arms as if he were a stuffed animal. He nuzzled his face into Leon’s head, then affectionately scratched his belly and behind his ears.
"Why is he always so late anyway? It's too quiet in here... This lousy apartment just feels too big when he's gone."
Koga finished his slurred ranting to Leon, who lifted his head off Koga's lap, his tail giving a tiny wag as he heard the familiar sound of Rei's footsteps coming down the hall of their high-rise’s floor.
Koga drowsily pulled Leon back. “Hey... where ya goin'? Don't leave me down here...”
His hand clumsily reaches out to the cardboard pack on the floor to snap open a seventh can. His fingers are loose, and he's visibly struggling to even get a grip on the tab. Completely lost in his own head, he failed to hear Rei twisting the doorknob with his key to unlock their apartment. Before Koga’s thumb can even pop the metal open, a pale, cold hand unexpectedly wraps around the top of the can, firmly pulling it out of Koga's weak grip. Koga blinked up in dismay, his brow furrowing as he huffed and grabbed at the air to try and get his beer back.
"Hey—! Give it back, bastard... I wasn't... I wasn't done yet."
Rei set the unopened can far from Koga’s reach on the coffee table. He gathered the crumpled, empty cans on the floor to dispose of them. His voice dropped low and firm when he finally spoke up.
"You are entirely done, Koga. Look at your hands; you can barely hold it. I will not sit by and watch my wanko poison himself out of spite."
Rei guided Koga from the floor to the couch. Koga slouched back against the sofa, his voice dropping from a strained attempt at shouting to a frustrated, pathetic whine. He didn't need Rei babying him like this, handling him with care.
"I'm not... I'm not spiteful. I'm just tryin' to think... the music won't work..."
Rei got up from the couch to grab him a glass of water. Koga blinked, and Rei teleported back to the sofa in an instant. Rei pushed the glass to Koga’s lips, who began a barrage of feeble protests.
”Don’t wan’ water—…want my drink back..”
"Drink, Koga," Rei replied, rumbling in an unwavering voice that left no room for argument. He tilted the glass just enough to force Koga to swallow a few gulps.
Koga took the water, his cheeks puffing up for a split second before he deliberately and weakly blew it right back into Rei's face. He didn't have the energy for the water to do anything too menacing other than soak Rei's bangs and his front shirt.
"Ugh, you're such a brat," Rei sighed and closed his eyes as water dripped off the tip of his nose. He set the glass down and reached into his pocket for a handkerchief, disregarding his soaked face to wipe off the water that dribbled down Koga's chin. "Are you finished throwing your tantrum? Twenty-one years old and you still spit your medicine like a toddler."
Koga sleepily glared at Rei, his fingers weakly gripping onto Rei's arm. "Shut up, bastard..." Rei found the contact endearing despite Koga's words. Rei wiped his own face, his red eyes locking onto Koga with a heavy, uncharacteristic seriousness. "Now that you have washed my face... tell me, Koga. Why are you sitting in the dark, trying to drown yourself in trash beer? What is troubling you?”
Koga frowned, his nose scrunching and chest tightening as he let go of Rei’s arm. “Nothin’s troublin’ me… dumbass! Just leave me alone,” his voice cracking slightly as he tried sounding intimidating. “I’m just drinkin’. Rockstars drink. Jus’ go to bed ‘n stop suffocatin’ me.”
Instead of leaving Koga alone, Rei pressed the matter further. He wouldn’t leave Koga’s side until he was okay. He reached out with his right hand, gently running his fingers along Koga’s jaw. When his hand reached Koga’s chin, Rei firmly held his face still by his jaw, preventing him from turning his head away.
”You have no need to lie, wanko. Your refutes are loud, but your eyes see through me like glass. Talk to me.”
“I said drop it!” Koga hissed, baring his teeth as he squirmed weakly against Rei’s hold. The room spun from the sudden movement, nausea beginning to accumulate in his stomach. Seeing Koga so utterly disheveled broke Rei’s heart, a look of pure concern taking over his face. “Don’t look at me like that, Rei. I don’t need your damn pity. I’m a grown man.”
Rei’s hands met Koga’s. "I do not pity you," he murmured, his thumb brushing softly against the back of Koga's hand before lifting his hand to leave a soft kiss. "I care for you. There is a difference."
The lingering warmth of Rei’s lips was what finally broke the last of Koga's walls. His eyes turned wide and glassy in the dimly lit livng room. His grip on Rei’s hand tightened, this time not pushing him away. Instead, Koga desperately held on so he wouldn't have to go through his struggle alone.
“The song I’ve been working on… It’s a mess, Rei. It doesn’t sound like you at all. ‘N if it doesn’t, how am I supposed to keep up with you?” Koga watched Rei’s lips move, but he couldn't piece the sounds together. His mind was entirely underwater. Giving up, he let his eyelids drop, slipping away for what felt like a second. When he opened them, the world tilted, and Rei was suddenly much closer.
”Rei… Rei…”, Koga began to slur, head swaying as he lifted it from the sofa’s arm. He briefly paused to gather what he had left of his thoughts. “I jus’… don’ wanna be left behind.”
Koga’s emotional distress combined with all the alcohol causes his stomach to violently turn. He suddenly chokes on his words, his face goes pale, and he clamps a hand over his mouth. His eyes watered as he looked at Rei in embarrassment. Rei—without disgust—immediately hauled Koga’s limp body with immense strength into the bathroom, plopping him down just in time infront of the toilet. Rei held back Koga’s hair, rubbing circles into his back as he dry heaved and sobbed.
”’M sorry, ‘m so so sorry.. I didn’t mean to- I..” Koga frantically tried explaining himself to Rei, sniffling as tears rolled down his cheek and gathered at the bottom of his chin. Rei softly kissed Koga’s head, pulling him close as he whispered sweet reassurances to Koga.
”Shh… It’s okay. Just let it out, puppy. I am here for you. You’re alright.”
Koga’s violent heaving finally subsided into shaky breaths and exhausted shudders. He turned around, pulling Rei into a tight hug. His shoulders slumped in relief, feeling warm and safe in Rei’s arms. Rei kissed the tears from Koga’s face when they pulled away, causing him to flush and smile weakly. Koga’s adorable snaggle tooth made an appearance in his grin, making him irresistible to Rei’s affectionate pecks.
"R-Rei..." Koga mumbled, his eyelids drooping heavily as the sudden adrenaline crash left his limbs feeling like sandbags. He couldn't even hold his own head up anymore; it rolled weakly onto Rei’s shoulders. Koga blinked back more tears as Rei flushed the toilet, the sound covering his sniffles.
"Do not speak, my dear," Rei muttered, his voice low and calm. "You have nothing to apologize for.” Rei grabbed a face towel to wipe the dampness off Koga’s face.
”’M tired….” Koga fully slumped into Rei’s hold, his guard completely lifted under his boyfriend’s care.
”I know, baby, how about we get into bed,” Rei cooed while lifting the younger man into his chest. Koga didn't fight it this time. He just absentmindedly buried his face into Rei's neck, his fingers weakly knotting into the fabric of Rei's wet shirt. Koga was too exhausted to care about Rei calling him silly petnames like baby, and far too tired to care about putting on his prideful wolf persona.
Rei carefully placed Koga onto their bed, stripping him of his water-stained shirt, replacing it with a soft, oversized black shirt of his own. He thoughtfully placed a trash can beside their bed just in case, along with a bottle of water, and pulled the comforter all the way over Koga’s body to subside his shivering and laid by his side. Leon—who had been anxiously pacing outside their bathroom—relaxes when he’s finally resting in the bed at Koga’s feet. Koga let out a sigh at the familiar feeling, a warmth coursing through him as the alcohol begun to overtake his consciousness. Before he loses his consciousness completely, he’s blindly reaching for Rei. Koga’s fingers twitch against the sheets until he’s found Rei’s hand.
”Stay…” he mumbles, his voice slurred, nearly inaudible. “Don’…. leave..”
Rei squeezes his hand, locking their fingers together. He brushed a few stray strands of grey hair off Koga’s forehead. "I am right here, wanko. I will be here when the sun rises. Sleep now."
Rei stayed awake for the rest of the night, listening for Koga’s breathing finally turn steady.
Koga wakes up with a pounding hangover, wearing one of Rei's oversized shirts, with a glass of water on his nightstand. He grimaced when he recalled as much as he could of the night—knowing he said something embarrassing, but no idea how embarrassing it got. Koga cringed, his inner voice flooding his mind: Why am I in bed? Did I ruin everything? I probably looked pathetic.
Koga stumbles out to the kitchen, clutching his head. Rei was already awake and had cooked warm breakfast soup. When Koga asks what happened after Rei got home last night, he joked about Koga being a "lightweight," without explaining further to protect his pride.
"A lightweight?" Koga grumbled, his voice rough and gravelly from sleep. He pulled a chair out at the kitchen island, the wood scraping against the floor and making his head wince in pain. "Shut up, stupid vampire. I am not a lightweight. I just... forgot to eat."
”Psh. Whatever you say, doggie.” Rei dished out a bowl of freshly made miso soup for Koga and poured him a glass of orange juice. Instead of taking his seat at the kitchen table, he stood beside Koga, ruffling his rough, grey bedhead. He expected a lecture about drinking alone in the dark. He expected Rei to look at him differently. Treat him softer, like he could easily break. Instead, Rei ran his fingers through the grey locks, and Koga looked up through his blurry, hungover vision. Rei’s sparkling, red eyes were filled with the same exact unconditional warmth from Koga’s hazy memories of last night.
He picked up his spoon, blowing gently on the hot soup. "Thanks for the food, Rei."
"Anytime, Koga," Rei whispered, smiling all dopey as the morning light softly shone through the kitchen blinds. "Eat up. We have a new song to perfect today.”
Koga didn’t have to remember every single detail of the night before to understand, Rei wasn’t going anywhere.