Chapter Text
2007
I hate Hawkins. I don’t understand why we had to move here. Mom and Dad didn’t even ask me, one day they just told me we were moving and suddenly a month after we were packing boxes. Nobody asked me if I wanted to leave Chicago. I hate that they made me leave my friends. They just did it, they said it’d be easier to start over here. But start what over? I didn’t want to start over. I had friends in my old school, actual friends, and now I’m forced to go to a new school.
Dad always tells me to get myself together. Says that boys don’t cry. Mom says I’ll make new friends and that I’ll be okay. I hate Dad. I kind of hate my Mom too, for not convincing my Dad to stay in Chicago.
This is my first day in Hawkins Middle school and the day feels like forever. My Dad just dropped me off and didn’t care about me crying the entire car ride, in fact, he told me off. Said I cry like a baby and that I’m too old for acting like a little kid. But whenever I tell him that I’m already ten years old and I can make my own decisions he tells me I’m just a little shit. It gets confusing sometimes. It makes me sad, even.
It takes me twenty full minutes to actually find the right classroom and I am way too late already. The teacher will probably be mad at me and I can already feel my stomach twisting in a weird, uncomfortable way. It’s very similar to when my Dad yells at me. Not as bad, but feels pretty close.
When I step inside, I tuck my head down and close the door behind me as quietly as I possibly can. Dad always tells me off whenever I shut doors accidentally harder than necessary, so I pay extra attention to not make loud noises. Wouldn’t want the teacher already have a bad opinion about me. Only then I look around the class and see everyone stare at me. I quickly turn my head to look at the teacher instead and she smiles at me warmly. She seems nice, but still - I am terrified.
“You must be Steven.” The teacher says and I swear to God if she asks me to introduce myself I’m going to pass away. I don’t want to introduce myself. I don’t want to be here. I want to go back home to Chicago.
“Yes.” I reply quietly, nodding my head and feel my palms getting sweaty. I’m pretty sure I’m already embarrassing myself.
“Why don’t you introduce yourself to the class?” She asks and I feel like my lungs nearly give out as my breath hitches. I hate this. But I know if an adult asks something, I have to do it, otherwise they’ll be mad.
Everybody is staring at me when I finally look up again and my first coherent thought is that I hate being the new kid. I turn toward them anyway because apparently that’s what I’m supposed to do. I must look ridiculous right now. “I’m Steve.” Nobody says anything, it’s just my own voice that’s echoing inside my head. I’m Steve. Oh my God, I sounded so lame. “We moved here from Chicago.” Still nothing. My eyes are drifting over the kids, one of them is drawing on his notebook, another is playing with his fingers. Nobody cares, which should probably calm my nerves because I don’t care either.
No, I lied. I care a little. A lot, actually. I was kind of hoping someone would at least want to be my friend so I wouldn’t feel so alone all the time. Eventually, the teacher tells me to find a seat but there aren’t many left. Most of them are already sitting with their friends and I feel like I could cry if I wasn’t strong enough to hold it back. I always do that, I’m good at this. I know how to maintain these shitty emotions to myself. I make my way to the back of the class slowly, and then one of the kids yell at me.
“Hey!” He practically yells. So loud I jump a little and I feel my heart thumping inside of my chest. I don’t understand why I react like this to loud noises but I don’t like this feeling. I feel the exact same whenever my Dad raises his voice at me. My eyes land on that kid. He has curly hair and seems like the kind of kid my Dad wouldn’t want me to be around. He’s waving both arms around dramatically and I already know where this goes. He’s going to make fun of me.
“New kid!” He yells, again, and it’s making my stomach drop. Half the class groans, the other half don’t even care about him.
“Edward.” The teacher says in a warning tone of voice. “Please stop yelling.”
“I’m helping.” The kid points at the empty chair next to him and smiles so wide I honestly don’t know if he’s just messing with me. “Sit here.”
A part of me wants to run away as far as I possibly can because I know if I tell my Dad I sat beside a kid who looks like he’s already failing classes he’d tell me to stay away from him. Another part of me is relieved someone is offering a seat. But there’s still this strange feeling inside of my chest that tells me he just wants to laugh at me. I’m easy to pick at. I know that.
“Are you sitting down or are you gonna stare at the chair all day?” Eddie asks and a couple of kids start laughing and my face gets hots and I probably look like an overripe tomato. I knew it. I knew he’d be mean.
“Shut up!” Eddie yells again while he gestures dramatically toward the class before his eyes land right back on me. My eyes are burning and I feel confused, because he just made fun of me and now he’s telling the kids to stop laughing at me. My feet are practically glued to the floor and I tear my gaze away quickly.
“Relax, Steve,” Eddie sighs and pulls the chair out himself for me and pats it, “you can be my best friend from now on.” He says it so simply it catches me off guard. I don’t know what I expected but definitely not the weird kid wanting to be my friend. Maybe it means I’m weird too.
I don’t say a word, I just sit down beside him and place my backpack in my lap, hugging it close to my chest as I take in a deep breath, because it helps sometimes. Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed breathing helps.
The teacher starts talking again and I start pulling my books out of my backpack, telling myself it’ll be fine. Mom told me it’d be fine. I believe her. I always believe her because she keeps comforting me whenever I have a fight with my Dad, and it’s really always fine the next day. Because my Dad sometimes apologizes, but even if he’s not, he’s being kind to me the next day.
“I’m Eddie.” I hear him say quietly and I glance at him, and up close he looks even stranger. His hair is mess and his hair is long, definitely not looking like everyone else’s. The next thing I notice is his backpack covered with stuff, messy handwriting and a couple of pin-buttons. One of them says Black Sabbath, the other says Metallica. I assume they’re some unknown bands because I’ve never heard about them. Then I glance at his notebook and it has drawings all over it. Good ones, even, and it kind of surprises me.
“Steve.” I whisper before I can think twice, my voice barely audible because I wouldn’t want the teacher to tell me off for speaking in class.
“Wanna sit with me at lunch?” Eddie’s voice gets a little louder and I quickly look up at the teacher because I’m sure she hears we’re talking.
“Sshh.” I hiss quietly and furrow my brows together. Yes, he’s definitely the kind of kid my Dad would hate. Mom, too. But she’d probably smile politely and then complain about him in the car. For some reason I don’t mind. Because for the first time since we moved in Hawkins, I don’t feel left out for a couple of moments.
“Shushing me already?” I can tell Eddie tries to whisper but he very obviously fails and I feel scared but excited at the same time.
“Stop talking.” I whisper and try to act like I’m paying attention to what the teacher is saying.
“Say yes and I’ll shut up.” He says with a grin and the next thing I hear is the teacher cutting herself off mid sentence and clearing her throat as gives us a look. My blood runs cold.
“Sorry.” I hear myself apologize and thankfully she goes back to talking about math.
Eddie snorts so hard and so dramatically I can’t help but to turn toward him again. God, he’s annoying. But he’s the only one who wants to be my friend so I can’t let myself mess this up. “If she Mrs. Wilson catches us talking again, I’m blaming you.”
“What?” I manage out with my eyes going wide and shake my head instantly. “You’re the bad influence."
Eddie gasps like someone punched him in the chest and for a second I fall for his stupid act. Really, he should be an actor or something. “That’s so mean.”
“Fine, fine,” I whisper and open my math book, a little smile tugging at my lips. “You said if I say yes, you’ll shut up, right?” I ask and shake my head in disbelief. “So fine, yes. I’ll sit with you at lunch. Just shut up, please.”
“Really?” Eddie’s tone of voice now sound genuinely surprised and now I can’t decide if he’s still acting.
“Yes, just – please.” I repeat and gesture with my hand for him to keep it down.
“Usually people tell me to go away.” Eddie adds as he leans back in his chair, obviously not caring about math at all.
Weird. Eddie doesn’t seem like the kind of kid who has no friends. But now that I think about it, he sat alone until I decided to sat beside him. Or, more like until he talked me into sitting beside him. But he seems cool, and he’s still the only one who willingly offered a seat. I don’t reply, instead I just sit up a little straighter and take notes, trying hard to focus on the class because if I ever get a bad grade, my Dad gets mad. I can’t let Eddie divert my attention.
After like ten minutes, Eddie slides a piece of paper in front of me. I glance sideways at him first with a confused expression before I read it.
Friend application
- yes
- definitely yes
I try not to smile. I try really hard. But I catch myself grinning as I underline ‘definitely yes’ and slide the paper back toward Eddie.
“Yes!” Eddie yells and my grin falters immediately, staring at him horrified while he pumps his fist into the air.
Half the class turns toward us and I bury my face in the palm of my hands, wanting so badly to disappear right now. Eddie is crazy. He’s the worst. And I just accepted to be his friend.
“Edward!” Mrs. Wilson warns and I hear Eddie giggling under his breath.
“Sorry.” He mutters, but he’s definitely not sorry. Has he got no shame? He just interrupted the class. And somehow I still envy all the ridiculous confidence he carries inside of him. I wish I could be like him. And I still want to be his friend, even if he managed to embarrass me three times in a row.
I hear the teacher sigh loudly, like it’s not her first time dealing with Eddie being loud. Only after she starts talking I pull my hands away from my face and I grin. I grin. I should be ashamed. Instead I feel amused. “You’re insane.” I whisper as quietly as I can.
“I don’t care. We’re best friends now. You’ll just have to put up with me from now on.”
I shake my head, the grin still lingering on my lips. Then the bell rings and I watch Eddie jump out of his seat and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do now. Everybody else starts moving so I stand up too, glancing around and seeing everyone else talking to their friends.
I stand there with my backpack hanging off one of my shoulder, suddenly feeling stupid. I glance at Eddie like he’s a lifeline I can hold onto, but he’s not looking at me, he’s shoving his stuff in his backpack carelessly and I feel like an idiot. I should move. Eddie was just joking when he said we’d be friends. Best friends, even. But then he turns around me so fast and so suddenly I very literally flinch. Because there for a second I thought he wanted to punch me. I don’t know why I thought that.
“Jesus.” Eddie pulls his eyebrows together and studies me looking at him with a scared expression on my face. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Sorry.” Then he just grins and grabs my hand. “C’mon. I’ll show you around.”
“Okay.” I agree quietly, waiting for the uncomfortable feeling that’s sitting in my chest from being startled. Eddie starts walking, practically dragging me out of the classroom with him, and only lets go of my hand when we’re already walking side by side on the corridor.
“So, there are three floors,” Eddie starts and I try to focus on his voice. Because whenever I let myself focus on anything else, my mind lags a second behind. I hate that it does that. But this school is loud, way louder than my old school.
I hear a loud thump coming from behind me and I jump out of my skin but I turn around. “Fuck.” Eddie cusses as he turns around too, noticing one of his books fell from his backpack and he picks it up while rolling his eyes. “Forgot to zip my backpack.”
Did he just say ‘fuck’? Jesus. My Dad would straight up kill me if I said anything like that.
“You’re jumpy.” Eddie says while tilting his head because of course he had to notice that I get scared easily. I hate that he noticed.
“And you’re talking dirty.” I shoot back, shaking my head, trying to hide the fact that he’s right.
“Dirty?” Eddie laughs and starts walking again and I follow him like I’m some kind of puppy.
“You said a bad word.” I insist but catch myself smiling too. I wish I could do that, too. I wish I wouldn’t care about what people would think either.
“That wasn’t a bad word.” Eddie replies while he puts the book back in his backpack.
“It definitely was. And zip your bag.”
Eddie rolls his eyes in a dramatic way like he seems to always be but zips his bag anyway. “You’re bossy.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “I’m not bossy. I’m just helping.”
“That’s exactly what I said in class.” Eddie replies instantly and points a finger at me like I just stole his own personal line.
“You’re impossible.” I say with a small laugh.
“Still, you choose to be my friend. You underlined it. And it’s an official document so you can’t take that back.” Eddie explains and he sounds so serious about it I almost believe it.
“You’re making that up.”
“Am not.”
“You definitely are.”
“I am not.” Eddie insists harder and I don’t know why that makes me laugh again.
Maybe because Eddie is ridiculous, maybe because he’s the first person who actually made me feel good since we moved here. And that’s the exact second I realize that for the first time all day, my stomach doesn’t hurt anymore.