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“Alright everybody, settle in!” Robby clapped his hands.
Day shift stood, albeit half asleep, ready for morning huddle. Trinity and Dennis each had a cup of coffee from the local cafe near their apartment. Samira sipped from her water bottle. Frank and Mel stood off to the side, splitting a bagel. Victoria was the last one to join, Cassie handing her one of the two iced teas she was holding.
“Good morning, good morning, good morning,” Robby greeted quickly. Baran stood behind him, a quirk to her lips.
“As you know, yesterday I had our monthly department head meeting. Our patient satisfaction scores are abysmal.” Robby told the group. Murmurs broke out between defensive, resigned, indifferent.
“I don’t care about that, I know you all do great work, everyday. However, in order to satiate Gloria’s request for reparations, I did read over all of them. Insincerity and unsympathetic were the two most used words.” Robby sent a pointed look to the group of residents and medical students.
“Dr. Al-Hashimi had a team building idea, to remind us all about the delicacies of our work. Baran, floor is yours.”
“We did this in my first week of medical school, you will all be given an egg-“
“What is this high school?” Trinity snickered.
“The idea is that you can care for something other than yourself.” Baran started to pass out eggs to each resident and student.
“Ground rules, no boiling, no breaking, no throwing. How you choose to care for your egg is up to you, but please don’t let it get in the way of patient care.”
“How will you know if we just buy another egg?” Cassie asked, rolling hers between her palms.
“It’s honor code.” Baran answered easily.
Robby clapped his hands together, “Okay, off you go.”
“Dr. Robby, shouldn’t you also have an egg?” Trinity smiled conspiratorially at him.
“Sorry?”
“Wait, that’s true, those patient satisfaction scores reflect you too.” Victoria grinned.
“No-“
“The attendings can also carry one, I think it would be a display of good faith.” Baran took an egg for herself and held one out to Robby.
“Fucking fuck, okay.” He snatched the egg from her.
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“Okay Dana, how much?”
“I’m not holding onto your egg for you, Robby.” Her eyes didn’t even flicker up at him.
“Oh c’mon Dana, you know I don’t have time for this.” He pleaded. He even tried his sad eyes on her.
“Robinavitch, you’re good, you’re not that good.” She brushed past him.
“Dr. Langdon,” Mel approached him, holding her egg close to her body, “What are you going to do with your egg?”
“I don’t know, maybe leave it somewhere for the day and come back to it.” He shrugged. Mel’s little pout worried him.
“But won’t your egg get lonely?”
“It’s not actually alive, Mel.”
“Yeah but we’re supposed to treat them with kindness.”
Frank sighed, he relented. “Okay, what are you going to do with your egg?”
“Build it a nest.” She smiled and walked away without further explanation.
He nodded slowly. “Wait, what?” He chased after her.
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“Okay, Huckleberry, you must have some farmer bullshit I can use to keep this thing intact.”
“Well….I think the best course of action would be a several-“
“Forget it, I’ll Google something.” Trinity leveled with him.
Victoria came up next to Cassie. “I’m ready for the next patient.”
“Okay, I just need to finish this chart and then Eggward and I-“
“You named your egg?”
“Of course, it’s like a baby. You have to give it a name.” She smirked a little. “What’s yours?”
“Oh, right, umm, Eggy?”
“Oh my god, Victoria, do you know how to have fun?” She laughed at her. “C’mon, I’ll show you, kid.”
“Hey, Samira, do you want to jump on this trauma with me?” Baran grabbed a pair of gloves.
Samira begrudgingly followed. She gave a tense smile in return.
“Are you feeling alright? I know you have been under a lot of stress with the fellowship decisions and-“
“I don’t know what do with my egg.”
“Sorry, what?” Baran laughed almost incredulously.
“I just,” a big sigh, “if I put it in my pocket, I risk crushing it. But then again, if it’s alone at the desk, someone could take it, and then-“
The impeding ambulance sirens cut her off.
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Robby was typing at his computer, his charts had gotten backed up this past week. He couldn’t help it, he was putting out fires from admin left and right.
A tapping sound against his computer caught his attention. He slowly raised his eyes. Trinity stood there, an egg in each hand.
“Dr. Robby, you abandoned your egg.” She held it out to him.
“I left it in the fridge.”
“That’s against the rules.” Trinity offered. He took and rolled it on the desk a little.
“No, it’s not, I made the rules.” Robby’s pushed himself away from the desk. Trinity eyed his egg.
“Have you seen Mel?” Dana inquired.
“No, not recently.”
“Sorry if I wasn’t clear enough. Go find her.” She shooed Frank from the desk area.
He checked the break room, the supply closet, the little alcove. Finally, he found her by the security office.
“Hey, Dana was looking for you - whoa, what is this?”
Mel was huddled over a nest made of gauze, packing materials, cotton balls, sports tape, and steri-strips.
“I made a nest. I figured the security office would be the safest place for it.”
“…Right, anyways, let’s go.”
She gave her egg a gentle pat and a very serious look to Ahmad. She followed Frank, “Where’s your egg, Dr. Langdon.”
“Can’t tell you, it’s a secret.”
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“Psst, come here.” Dennis pulled Trinity by her arm, into the supply closet.
“Whitaker, people might get the wrong impression-“
“Haha, very funny. I need help. I need you to trade my scrubs in for me.”
“What? Oh my god, do not start stripping!”
“What? No, no, no. I had my egg in my front scrub pocket and it cracked when I bent over.”
Trinity burst out laughing, despite herself.
“I’m serious, Trin, I have egg yolk all over me, if I go out there everyone will know.”
“Okay, give me your scrubs.” She held her hand out, her other hand covering her eyes.
She crept out of the storage closet, and maneuvered to the scrub dispenser. She passed Victoria on her way.
“Do you have DoorDash?”
“Yeah…why?”
“Whitaker broke his egg, he needs a new one.” She lowered her voice.
“Oh, perfect, he can have this one.” Victoria handed her an unbroken egg.
“Where’s this from?”
Victoria smiled. “I took the leftovers from Dr. Al-Hashimi.”
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Robby tore off his PPE. His patient was going up to surgery now. He really needed a snack. His fingers drummed against the machine, waiting for his granola bar to fall. That’s when he saw it.
In one of the empty slots was an egg. It was several spaces back, so someone would have to order it multiple times to eventually get the egg. He laughed to himself and hit his credit card against the machine again.
“Hey, Dana, come here.”
She leaned against the vending machine, “Robby, please tell me you’re not spending…$3.75 to steal one of your resident’s eggs.”
“No of course not, put your little hands in there and catch it when I press the button.”
Even though she grumbled, she knelt down and put her hands through the vending machine door.
“Where’s your egg, Robby?”
“Not a clue.”
The egg dropped into her hands safely.
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“I just don’t know what to do.” The patient weeped into her hands.
Samira had been sitting with this patient for almost 40 minutes. She was a psychic influencer on TikTok who was convinced that she was going to get hurt due to some premonition her witch girlfriend had told her.
“Okay, Celeste, maybe we should look into other signs, that point to a better outcome.” Samira’s hand rested on her shoulder comforting.
“Dr. Mohan, I am cursed, I’m going to be doomed. I checked all of the planets. Even my Co-star app told me I was in need for change.” She dried her tears with a tissue.
Samira looked around helplessly.
“The astrology girlies on TikTok say I need to do an egg cleanse.” Celeste wailed.
Samira held out her egg to the patient. “I actually have an egg not me. I’d like you to take it, if that will make you feel better.”
“Are you sure?” The patient asked, her voice quivering. She took the egg reverently in her hands. Samira nodded.
“Thank you Dr. Mohan.”
Frank ran after Mel. “Hey, Mel!” She turned at the sound of his voice. “Have you seen my egg?”
“I thought you hid it?”
“I did but it’s not there anymore.”
“Well, who last got something out of the vending machine.”
“I don’t know- wait a minute. You knew where I hid it?”
“Yeah, I saw it when I got those fruit gummies, they’re my favorite. But they changed the green flavor from apple to lime.”
Frank looked around conspicuously.
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“How’s Eggy?” Cassie asked as she walked through the ambulance doors
“My egg?” Victoria looked at her confused.
“Yeah, did you want Eggy to have a play date with Eggward?”
Victoria scoffed. “Umm, what?”
They stopped by the security office. Normally Ahmad would have the door open, welcoming the girls to stop in chat.
Today, however, the door was closed. Ahmad stood guard outside.
“Hey, Ahmad, can we grab a piece of candy?”
“Sorry doctors, no candy bowl today. I’m on guard.”
“For what?”
“I’m guarding Dr. King’s egg.”
“Oh you have got to be kidding me.” But even Victoria couldn’t hide her smile.
“Let me see your egg.” Trinity held her hand out expectantly.
“No way, I already lost one, I can’t risk breaking another.” Dennis shied away.
“Relax Huckleberry, lightning doesn’t strike twice.” She held her hands out again.
He tossed it gently underhand to her. She examined it.
“You should give it a name.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because it’s fun.” Trinity smirked. She threw it back to Dennis. He fumbled momentarily before securing it.
“Be careful-“ as he said that, Frank and Mel bumped into him.
“Sorry, Whitaker.” Mel called over her shoulder.
The egg landed on the ground.
“Shit.” Dennis looked down at it, it hadn’t broken. However, it did roll. It rolled and rolled and rolled until it met with a rolling gurney. The bed crushed it, smearing yolk all over the floor.
Trinity barely stifled a laugh.
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“Alright team, let’s huddle before night shift starts rolling in.” Robby clapped his hands. “Let’s see ‘em.”
Cassie presented her Eggward, nestled in a papoose from an arm sling. He was perfectly in tact.
Victoria brought forth two eggs. “Eggdwina and Eggatha.” She shared.
“How did she get two?” Dennis whispered to Trinity. She gave him a knowing smile in return.
“Here’s my egg.” Trinity stepped forward.
Robby’s eyes narrowed. He patted down his empty pockets. “That’s my egg.”
“Can you prove it?” She challenged.
Mel stepped up with her nest. Her egg was nestled in its homemade cocoon.
Frank stepped forward, empty handed. “I don’t know where my egg went.” He shrugged.
Robby stepped forward, “Here you go.” He dropped the egg into Frank’s hand.
Trinity harrumphed at the hypocrisy.
“My egg is that yellow smear between Central 5 and Central 6.” Dennis offered.
“I gave mine to a patient.” Samira supplied. Everyone turned and looked at her questioning. “Long story.”
“Alright, everyone, I hope you have all learned a valuable lesson.” Robby tried dismissing the group.
“What was the lesson exactly?” Trinity pressed.
“Don’t trust your attendings.” Frank mumbled under his breath.
“Don’t wear light colored scrubs.” Dennis added.
“Stay up to date on all the TikTok trend?” Samira tried.
“The idea is that you all got closer. You worked together to either take someone down,” she nodded at Robby.
“Or relate to your patients,” smiling at Samira, “Or relating to each other.” Mel and Frank looked at each other.
“You will not always be successful, in saving or treating your patients. But you will always have a team member to work with you. To ask for help when you need it. That is how we boost our patient satisfaction scores.” Robby continued.
“Hey, Dr. Al-Hashimi, where’s your egg?” Cassie inquired.
“Oh, I left it in a bush outside. Safest place is anywhere that’s away from here.” She smiled.
Just as she said that, Jack came strolling in with the rest of the night shift.
“Guys, you will not believe what I found outside.”