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The server was much quieter than before, everything felt gloomy. It was as if the light of the server had been extinguished. Nothing felt the same, everything felt like a task for almost every islander. Everyone knew the reason, they just didn’t want to believe it.
Ash didn’t want to believe that his boyfriend was dead, he couldn’t do anything to save him. He let him die right in front of him, he didn’t even do anything to help him.
Ash had promised Juan that he would protect him at all costs, that he wouldn’t have to worry about getting hurt.
So why had he failed Juan? He had lied to him.
Ash sat on top of Juan’s bed, the covers that used to be so soft when he laid next to Juan, felt rough without his presence. Ash had not only failed to keep his promise, he had also failed as a boyfriend.
Why did he not break the reactor? Why did he not punch Aldo in the face when he pulled that lever? Why did he not protect Juan? Wasn’t that the job he had told himself was the most important? To keep Juan safe?
Juan should’ve been lying next to him at this moment, resting. Juan should’ve been healing from the mission, annoying Ash, getting all over his personal space, and yapping non-stop…
Why?
That question pestered Ash’s mind everyday since the incident.
But before Ash could think further, there was a knock on the bedroom door. Ash quietly got up from the bed and went to open the door to find Foolish.
“Heyyy Ash… I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to come with me and Tina to tell Jschlatt about Juan’s passing… I understand if you don’t want to, I know how hard it’s been for you.” Foolish mumbled quietly, fidgeting with his fingers. Ash had noticed a change in Foolish, he seemed more quieter and closed off. Who wouldn’t be?
“I wouldn’t mind…” Ash whispered back, his volume was so low that Foolish barely caught on what he had said.
“Thanks, Ash…” Foolish gave him a soft and warm smile, but Ash could tell it was hard for Foolish to even muster up that singular smile, if you could even call it that.
Ash only gave a single nod before Foolish walked away, this was going to be difficult…
Ash had known about Juan’s dad for a bit now, he knew how much Juan loved Jschlatt. He didn’t know how Jschlatt would react to the death of one of his kids, he just hoped he would take it well.
—
Foolish, Ash, and Tina made their way to Jschlatt house. It was a pretty two-story brick house, better than other houses in the island.
Ash did not expect to see Quackity and Katie already there, it had been a while since he had seen them both. They were about to get their mood ruined by the upcoming news.
The trio approached the other trio, Quackity was the first one to notice them.
”Oh hi there!.. Where’s Juan? He’s always with y'all, and why is Ash here?” The hybrid questioned the trio as he looked at them with only confusion. Foolish sighed, Tina immediately started to sob at the mention of Juan’s name.
“That’s why we are here…” Foolish mumbled as he looked up to face Quackity and Jschlatt as well as Katie, “Juan… umm…-“
“He’s dead.” Ash spoke before Foolish even finished the sentence, everyone went quiet. Quackity stood still, processing the information he was just given.
Juan was dead? How?…
Katie was also quiet from the shock, even if she wasn’t that heartbroken, that was still her brother. Quackity had to sit down on the grass that now felt like sharp needles against his skin. Quackity didn’t even notice when tears started to fall down his face.
Jschlatt’s eyes dilated after he heard the news, just for a second. He couldn’t allow himself to show weakness in front of so many people. He didn’t even think, his brain went to autopilot as he spoke.
“Who?”
Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing and turned to look at the older male. Ash expression turned from sad, astonished, and then pissed.
“What the fuck do you mean, ‘who’?” Ash asked, his voice cracking from how pissed he was.
“Do you not even remember your own son?” Tina asked, her voice trembling from how heartbroken she was from Juan’s death and for Juan himself.
“Oh, he’s my son?” Jschlatt kept up the act, he had to hold back the lump that was building inside his throat. He wouldn’t dare show a single tear while everyone was present.
“Are you that much of a monster that you don’t even remember your own kid? Why kind of father are you? Not father of the year, let me tell you that.” Ash spoke with pure hatred towards Jschlatt, no really, wha kind of father was this guy?
“I don’t have time for that kind of stuff.” Jschlatt mumbled, waving his hand in the air. He turned to walk towards his house’s entrance. He didn’t get far before Ash ran up to him and pushed him to the ground.
Quackity’s breath hitched when he saw Ash literally pushed his boyfriend to the ground. Katie covered her mouth, staying quiet the whole time. She was mortified, this was getting out of hand.
Foolish and Tina immediately stepped in before anything escalated, they both grabbed Ash to try and calmed him down.
“You’re no worthy to be called a father..” Ash spat at Jschlatt, still staring at the older man who was still on the ground. Jschlatt’s eyebrows furrowed as he stared at Ash, why was he so worked up?
Quackity immediately regained himself and went to help Jschlatt stand up.
”Are you okay?” Quackity asked the taller man who just gave a single nod and left without saying anything. Quackity followed after him, but not before giving Foolish and Tina one last look.
“I’m sorry…” Quackity seemed to mumble before making his way inside the house.
“I’m going to kill that man… He’s not going to see daylight ever again…” Ash hissed whilst clenching his fists so hard he drew blood. Tina and Foolish had to take him away before he actually stuck to his word.
The only one that was left was Katie, and there was only one question she could think of.. Why?
Why was Juan taken away so early in life? He was a young soul, he wasn’t deserving of death just yet. No wonder the server seemed quieter, because it was.
Juan was basically the star of the North and the server. She knew how much Juan meant to a lot of people, mostly Ash. It was no surprise he reacted that way when Schlatt didn’t even remember his own kid.
As much as she despised Juan, it didn’t mean she didn’t care about him. He was still her sibling, her younger brother. She was supposed to protect him, so why didn’t she? Was it the right call?
No it wasn’t, she had hoped it was.
The realization finally hit Katie, Juan was actually gone. No respawn, not an extra life, no healing, nothing.
He was gone.
Katie sat down on the front lawn, she didn’t even notice a tear rolling down her face. That single tear turning into gold. She couldn’t let anyone see her in such a vulnerable moment, everyone will find out about her secret identity. She couldn’t dare risk it, so she used the waystone to go back to her home.
—
Inside of Schlatt’s house, Quackity was trying to make the taller man speak as to what had happened. Why he had acted like he didn’t know Juan?
“Jschlatt… dear, talk to me…” Quackity held Schlatt’s hand. The taller man was just looking outside the window, not speaking a word.
“Why did you act like you didn’t know Juan..? Your- I mean.. our kid?…” Quackity questioned the older male in front of him, yet got no answer in return. It wasn’t until Jschlatt turned to face Quackity and hugged him tightly, the bird hybrid was confused as to what had just happened. Yet, he didn’t dare pull away, he just let himself enjoy the moment. He hugged Jschlatt back, no complaints.
“Just… tell me when you feel comfortable…” Quakity spoke softly, caressing his partner’s hair carefully. He didn’t want Jschlatt to feel pressured into telling him.
—
Later that night, Quackity was already asleep beside Jschlatt. Quackity had cried himself to sleep, Jschlatt heard all of it after he faked being asleep.
The whole time he had just been staring at the wall, one of his kids was dead. How did that happen? Why did it have to happen? Why didn’t he show a bit of sympathy?
Why had he been such a coward?
He knew that this was going to change everything, this death wasn’t just something the island was going to move on from so quickly. Yet, he acted like it didn’t matter when it did. He knew what kind of mistake he had just made.
He made it seem like Juan was just something he would forget about, move on from. Why couldn’t he show some emotions? Matter of fact, why didn’t he?
Why was he a coward? What kind of father was he that he chose to ignore his son’s death just because it would ruin his image? Why did he choose to ‘forget’ his son?
Then it hit him..
He hadn’t been present enough for Juan.
He didn’t know what he liked, disliked, who he loved, who he hated, what he did.. Why?..
He knew the answer to that.
He didn’t care enough to ask.
He didn’t know a single thing about his son, and it was all his fault. He had no one else to blame but himself. Juan had put a lot of effort to build a bond with him, yet he was ignored in return. Now, Jschlatt had to deal with the endless thoughts of what could’ve been between his him and his son.
—
Jschlatt couldn’t walk around the island without thinking of every single thing Juan had mentioned at least once. He couldn’t stop thinking about the little comments Juan used to make, how he acted, what made Juan himself.
He hated this feeling, he absolutely despised it. He didn’t want to keep thinking about Juan, yet he couldn’t do anything to stop his mind from thinking about it.
Jschlatt had stopped socializing with most people, not like he loved socializing anyway. He hated how pathetic he was, he hated it so much. Why did he get attached? Why did he agree to be Juan’s father? Why?!
Not even he knew the answer to that. Maybe he wanted to feel something other than emptiness inside his heart. Maybe he wanted to feel what it was like to be loved by someone who wasn’t your partner..
Jschlatt didn’t know, but what he knew was that he needed something to make him forget about today. Just some alcohol… Shouldn’t hurt…
—
The alcohol didn’t hurt him directly, but it did hurt the people around him. One of those people was Quackity, someone who had been with him through everything. The duck hybrid did his best to help Jschlatt stop drinking, did it work? Hell no, but at least he tried unlike the others.
Jschlatt didn’t hurt Quackity while he was drunk, no, he had changed. He cried non-stop, he sobbed against Quackity’s shoulders until there were no more tears left.
He vented every single night to Quackity about the mistakes he had made while Juan was still alive, and now there wasn’t any way to undo those mistakes.
Quackity did his best to comfort his boyfriend, but he was also experiencing grief from the loss of their son. He knew neither of them showed Juan the love he needed until it was too late.
He was too late, and he didn’t realize it until now.
For now, he just wanted to be there for Jschlatt and Katie.. It was the least he could do.
—
It had been exactly 2 weeks after the news of Juan’s passing had been brought to Jschlatt’s attention. It hasn’t been easy on Jschlatt, he didn’t want people to see him so miserable. He hated the idea of people pitying him, he hated the fact that people would be all over him if they ever saw him in such a pathetic and pitiful way. So, he stayed quiet and never let the islanders know about his depression.
He only trusted Quackity and Katie at the moment, and it would stay that way until he felt comfortable enough to talk to other people.
Yet, even at times, he felt like he would be judged by them if they ever saw him cry over and over again. So, he mostly masked his feelings during the day, but when everyone was sleeping, he would lay awake at night. He sometimes wondered what he could’ve done better, what he could’ve said during arguments with Juan…
Did he have a part of this?
He started to wonder as he laid beside Quackity, who was asleep, whilst staring at the wooden ceiling. He just wished to know if his carelessness towards Juan had played a role in his passing.
But would had he changed even if he knew early on that Juan was going to die? Would he have started to spend more time with his son?
Did he care enough to even have thought about Juan before his passing? He easily knew the answer to that question, no.
It was his fault, he knew it. Jschlatt sat up from his bed, already getting teary eyed once again. He wiped off the tear before standing up to walk towards the window, he stared at the view in front of him. The dark night sky being covered with dark, sad clouds.
If he could have one wish, it would be to bring Juan back…
And make everything right.