Work Text:
The afternoon sun shone down through the trees in the Jujutsu High. Nobara ran her fingers through her short pretty ginger hair and let out a heavy sigh, looking up at the blue sky.
The weather was perfect. The breeze was cool, the grass beneath her was comfortable, she's getting prettier by the day and she should have no real reason to be this annoyed.
But she was.
A few distance away, Itadori held a baby (what the fuck? She never thought a baby and Itadori would be in one sentence but here they are) up high in the air, making funny faces.
The baby giggled, a wide toothless smile. Itadori's smile was as bright as the sun, making everything look like a perfect, happy picture.
It was a nice view, but Nobara was still irritated.
Fushiguro looked over at her, and they both sighed at the exact same time.
Itadori blinked at them. "Guys? You okay?"
The baby in his arms made a soft sound. He had shocking pink hair like Itadori (she thought pink hairs was impossible to have) but it's the bright blue eyes, looking exactly like a certain annoying person they knew.
For nine months, everyone thought itadori was dead after the incident at the Juvenile Detention Center. (She swore she saw his heart laying on the grass like an abandoned socks) Her pretty face was scrunched up with despair and grief.
Then, just two months ago, itadori showed up out of nowhere, shouting that he was alive and kicking in the least funny way possible.
Her pretty tears were wasted just like that.
Gojo-sensei had hidden him to keep him safe from the higher-ups and to train him. That was the official reason.
The first reason, though, was a total shock that she even thought she was dreaming, only accepting that it was still reality after punching Fushiguro's cheek strongly and hearing him curse because why would she do that to her precious smooth cheek? Self love, you know?
After the absolutely idiotic suprise of Itadori coming out of the box to suprise them that he's alive, Gojo sensei announced something that shortened both her and Fushiguro's lifespan by several decades.
Apparently, Itadori and Gojo-sensei had been dating (what the fuck?) in secret since the day they met. How can anyone date that white pole of a man is beyond her.
Gojo is a disappointment of a human but really? Dating a 15 year old? While being 13 years older? Give her a fucking break.
It was annoying enough on its own but she could bear that since Itadori is genuinely happy. Life is complicated and it's not a white and black world (she's trying to convince herself)
When Itadori was apologising to them after suprising them with his return (after 9 months) while Gojo-sensei was grinning as if amused, she thought atleast out of the three of them, Itadori got a guaranteed rich life.
Dating a rich sugar daddy, that is. Anyways, Gojo-sensei might be an childish teacher with a questionable character but he's not that bad.
She was proved wrong the moment Ijichi walks towards them with a baby in his arms. With suspiciously familiar pink hairs and blue eyes, his chubby little arms making grabby movements towards Itadori.
"M-ma!"
What the fuck did he just said?
Sooo, When itadori came back to life, Shoko-sensei did a check-up and found out he was pregnant.
Not only that stupid pedo teacher was dating her best friend he also fucked him until he got knocked up. Wow. Someone kill her right now.
Scientifically, it was impossible for a man to have a baby. Nobara had heard that white ass of a teacher yap something about itadori being a vessel might be the possibility of his pregnancy or that his semen (ew) was strong enough to knock up the boy.
But really, Gojo was Gojo. Anything was possible with him.
"A man cannot get another man pregnant. With the sole exception of Gojo Satoru, of course."
Principal Yaga had said that with a completely grim face, looking like he's one step away from executing his ex-student on spot.
The Gojo clan and even the higher ups were overjoyed, looking two steps away from dancing and throwing a party when they discovered that itadori gave birth to a baby, that of Gojo Satoru.
They don't give a fuck that it's a 15 year old. On another note, It was more than enough for them to completely put aside Itadori's looming execution aside. After all, it means Gojo lineage can continue.
Selfish crazy old fuckers.
A baby with Gojo's blood was bound to be overpowered. Even if the child didn't inherit the Six Eyes, a crazy strong cursed technique was guaranteed.
Itadori said he was greatly shocked when he heard he was pregnant. But Itadori being Itadori was too kind and loving to ever reject a life.
He had accepted the baby as easily as putting on his sneakers like any other damn tuesday.
Leiri-sensei showed her the video she had recorded. She had found the entire situation amusing and started filming from the moment she made the announcement.
The footage showed Gojo looking shocked before bursting into tears and laughing uncontrollably with pure joy before pulling Itadori into a kiss, as though the pink-haired boy had just given him the greatest gift imaginable who wiped the tall man's tears with a giggle.
Watching Gojo-sensei reaction bought relief in her chest. He looked serious about Itadori. Good. Her friend wouldn't be abandoned and cheated on it seems. She let out a smile.
Itadori named the baby Satoshi. It was a nice name.
Nobara might have actually liked the baby if he wasn't a mini-version of their stupid teacher. He had the same face, the same features, and those blue eyes with the exception of pink hairs like her friend. No six eyes though.
Because of his birth, a massive wave of new curses had appeared across Japan, just like what happened when Gojo was born according to Fushiguro.
Satoshi cooed happily, looking at Itadori with pure adoration and love—the exact same way his ridiculously tall father does whenever Itadori is in sight.
Then, the baby's wide blue eyes rolled toward Nobara. He stared at her for a second with no smile, then looked away with an annoyed expression like he saw a bug.
Like father, like son, Nobara cursed in her mind, eyes twitching.
But then she looked at Itadori's happy, smiling face. The annoyance left her, and her expression softened. She sighed.
At least he was happy. And honestly? She was happy too.
"The world's most handsome and strongest teacher has finally arrived!!"
The announcement pierced the quiet garden in the most grating, sing-song voice imaginable. Gojo Satoru stood right behind them.
Even without turning around, Nobara could practically feel the obnoxious, blinding grin stretching across his face. Her migraine throbbed again. Beside her, Fushiguro let out a low, miserable groan. Already halfway into covering his face.
But Itadori instantly lit up, his face glowing. She makes a mental note to ask about his skincare routine. "Satoru-san! Welcome back!"
Not surprisingly, Itadori was the only person on the entire planet genuinely happy to see Gojo ever.
"YuUuUuUujiiiiiii! I missed you so, so, so much!" Gojo whined loudly.
Nobara internally gagged. He dragged out itadori's name in a way that sounded downright disgusting. Before anyone could move, Gojo threw his arms around his student, nuzzling their cheeks together.
Itadori just giggled, completely unfazed, and patted Gojo's back comfortingly with his free hand while his other arm securely held their child.
Looking at them, Nobara realized something: Itadori wasn't raising one child. He was raising two. And the bigger one was supposedly his spouse.
She and Fushiguro exchanged a look of pure horror as Gojo leaned in and gave Itadori an affectionate kiss right in front of them. It was too much pda for a good day.
Gojo then scooped his son out of Itadori's arms, holding him up high. "Look at my little prince! Did you miss your daddy? Yes, you did! You’re just as beautiful as me, aren't you, Satoshi!"
Satoshi looked completely unimpressed. With a tiny, chubby leg, the baby kicked Gojo straight in the face.
It was, without a doubt, the single best thing to happen all day. Nobara burst out laughing, loud, while Fushiguro's lips twitched into a satisfied smirk.
Itadori, meanwhile, immediately panicked, waving his hands around. "Satoshi, no! You shouldn't kick Daddy's face!"
Gojo sighed dramatically and pulled off his sunglasses. The frames were bent and cracked.
Satoshi was barely two months old, but he had clearly inherited enough of Yuuji’s monstrous physical strength to break ordinary glasses with a single kick.
Holding his broken specs, Gojo looked down at his son with a mixture of pride and fake hurt while Nobara's mood finally took a turn for the better. In the world only two people could hurt him, after all.
Itadori was too kind but it seems like his son was a good news for Nobara's life. Hehe.
Maybe having a mini-Gojo around wasn't entirely bad after all.
"Hey! That's not fair, Satoshi," Gojo whined, pouting like a toddler (she shivered in disgust) as he held his broken glasses. "Daddy's face is a national treasure. You can't just kick it!"
Satoshi just blew a tiny drool bubble in response, looking completely pleased with himself.
"See? He's a menace," Nobara said, crossing her arms and finally sitting up. "He’s barely out of diapers and he’s already doing justice."
"He's not a menace, he's just energetic!" Itadori defended quickly, taking Satoshi back into his arms. He gently wiped the drool from the baby’s chin with his sleeve, his eyes full of warmth. "Right, Satoshi? You were just giving Daddy a big, strong greeting."
The baby cooed happily, snuggling against Itadori's chest, a complete contrast to the cold shoulder he had given Nobara and Gojo just minutes before. It was almost scary how fast the kid could switch his attitude.
Gojo leaned down, resting his chin right on top of Itadori's pink head, wrapping his long arms around both Itadori and the baby. "Hear that, Satoshi? Your mommy is always on my side. You're outnumbered." He cackled like he won in a competition (with his own son? Really?) and Fushiguro rolled his eyes.
"Who are you calling mommy?!" Itadori yelled, his face turning bright red, though he didn't really pushed Gojo away.
Fushiguro rubbed his temples, looking like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole.
"Can you two take this somewhere else? We were supposed to be studying before you brought the circus here."
"Aw, Megumi-chan, don't be so grumpy! Look, I brought souvenirs to make it up to you!" Gojo reached into his pockets and pulled out... a handful of crinkled, cheap candy wrappers. "Oh, wait. I ate those on the way."
Nobara's lips twitched. She reached into her pocket, her fingers brushing against the cold metal of her hammer. It was a miracle this man was the strongest jujutsu sorcerer alive, because right now, she had a very strong urge to exorcise him herself.
"Anyway!" Gojo cheered, completely oblivious to the danger. He slipped his ruined glasses back onto his face, one lens completely cracked, giving him a ridiculous, lopsided look. "The weather is too nice for studying. Which is boring! Let's go get ice cream! My treat!"
"Ice cream?!" Itadori's eyes lit up instantly. "Satoshi, we're getting ice cream!" Satoshi babbled happily. Babies are such simple creatures. When their mother is happy, they are happy as well.
Nobara looked at Fushiguro who looked at her as well.
It was a total mess. Their teacher was an idiot, their best friend was secretly married (soon to be anyways) to said idiot, and there was a baby breathing down their necks.
But as itadori started walking ahead, happily chatting away to a laughing Gojo, Nobara found herself standing up and brushing the grass off her skirt.
"Hey, Fushiguro," Nobara called out, a small, genuine smirk finally slipping onto her face. "He said his treat. That means we're ordering the most expensive things on the menu."
Fushiguro let out one last, quiet sigh, but his shoulders relaxed as he stood up too. "Obviously. Let's empty his bank account."
Nobara jogged a few steps to catch up, yelling at the top of her lungs, "Gojo-sensei! I want the limited-edition strawberry parfait, and you're paying for three of them!"
"Okay!"
If it was any other day he would've refused, but Yuuji walking beside him with their child in his arms, smiling at him with so much love and adoration as Satoru bought him closer by the arm around his waist, he was in an undeniably happiest mood ever.
He loves his life so much. As they say, happy wife happy life.