Work Text:
The shore has witnessed all the tears that landed on its hand—the sorrow waiting to be taken away.
The night’s breeze cooled the surroundings, a proper reward for the young hardworking men of the southern coast. The long nights were no more. Despite the new, warm season that came, for this young fisherman, Ajax, it is a cycle of mundane moments—wake up, eat, fish, drink, and sleep. His soul is still aching for a thrill since his life changed three years ago. That was the last time his heart felt overjoyed venturing to an unknown territory.
This is yet another night that he resisted from letting himself be taken away to the depths of the underwater.
With the nighttime sun adorning the waters, the fishermen anchored their boats and left the water. The smell of the sea mixed with the smoke of freshly-baked fish pies. One could hear these poor workers’ tummies gurgle despite the sounds of big chains and heavy steps in the docks. All their damped wellies marched through the cobblestones, to the stone houses and taverns.
“Let’s go for a drink?” One of his peers asked. Most of the bachelors head to the tavern for a drink after work.
“My house is still miles away.” He resisted.
“Only for tonight. My birthday.” Another insisted.
His peers started chanting, teasing him to join. The chant flipped his refusal into an agreement.
The night is still young and the sun is few hours from setting.
***
On his way to his cottage, not far from the seaside town, the thin veil of mist covered his way. He ensured that before he headed out after the celebration, his head is in the right state to walk. He was made aware that his life is in monotone and monochrome yet it doesn’t give him enough reason to turn himself into a hedonist and waste his life away. He is looking for enjoyment, but not enough to become a man of pleasure.
As he looked up to the moon, it is shining brightly, smiling at him. The sky is covered in thin blanket of clouds. The moon is up. It must be late.
“Why don’t I take a little walk?” He is still tending his head from an almost-getting-drunk state. He has high tolerance yet he got carried away when one of his peers started talking about getting married soon. They are all in the same age where they are in need of a wife.
The cold wind didn’t bother his mind. He walked in a different direction from his house, with an aim to clear his mind. This night is for wandering and wondering about the could’ve beens and should’ve beens. The sky is cloudy still. The navigating stars are nowhere to be seen. Quite unusual for a summer night.
A bunny hopped in front of him in surprise. He lost his balance and his face almost fell flat on the wheatfield. Fortunate enough that his mind is still attentive to his surroundings. He pursed his lips and decided to look for the bunny. There is no hope for him as the wheat are standing tall. The little critter has a large leverage hiding in the field. There is no use for looking anyway. He has nothing to do with the creature.
He glanced at the sky; the cloud is still blanketing the stars. When he returned focusing on his mind, he realised he is far from the thing he is aiming for—clarity of mind. There is no peace. There is no answer. Questions seem to pile up, along with the sorrow that keeps creeping with the guilt that he feels. The bunny has only distracted him from that.
When he thought he reached the end of the field, not from afar, he saw a light.
It is a golden light that seemed to emanate from deep inside the thick woodland. He has stepped into this woodland before with his betrothed. A familiar forest isn’t a threat to his tipsy head at all. Little steps towards the light, he could hear a faint sound of music—a music that would tempt anyone’s feet to dance to its tune. There is no sound of wind nor birds, only that sweet music of merriment.
For him, a little night adventure won’t hurt. “I have nothing to lose anyway. I already lost the only one that I have.” His courage is only a façade for his never-ending longing for his dearest. He is still hoping for the day that she’d be in his arms once again. Once that happens, he promised not to let her go.
He kept on walking with his thoughts about life on the side, and the following the light on the other.
***
When the light seems to become brighter and brighter, Ajax heard the humming wind clearer. There is a delicate blend of lyre, whistles, and a familiar voice. Delicate and cold yet powerful and warm.
He took a glance back from where he came from, he cannot retrace his steps. The navigator stars are obstructed by the canopy of trees he cannot measure or climb up to. The moonlight is present but the moon is nowhere to be seen. Afar is only filled with darkened mists that sends shivers down the spine—somewhat the thrill he’s seeking for but the light and merriment sound like a better adventure.
From careless footsteps and wandering directionless, he is now treading without making the leaves rustle or the twigs snap. He must not draw attention of whoever are in the lightened part of this unfamiliar forest.
Such a graceful voice stirred up a memory from his heart. It kept on reeling him in. Memories after memories kept on flashing back. The longing glances, the soft kisses, the simple banters, the shared laughter, the little adventures. His eyes widened as soon as he confirms the owner of the voice.
Surrounded by lights, a woman was sitting atop a giant mushroom. Her light blonde hair matches perfectly with the pure white clothes she’s wearing. She looks like the light he’s been following earlier. In the middle of deep and dark forest that seems like no human has been, unknown creatures are living. A lot different from the forest where they hunt and sometimes tryst during the first months of their relationship.
Around her are bunch of creatures, both human-sized and foot tall, dancing in circles. They are all wearing clothes ranging from leaf armours to impractical long translucent gowns. Some are sitting in the air beside the golden-haired woman, playing their own instruments to match her voice. Not afar there’s a cottage but everyone seems to take part in the merriment.
A lump formed in his throat, followed by cold sweat. He nearly broke a stick when he stepped back. He is still adjusting his body while holding on the trunk of the tree. He’s extending his neck to get a better view of the lady. His stealth isn’t the best but everyone else is occupied—it’s his edge on them. These creatures weren’t paying attention to the happenings outside their little village.
He’s too close from getting choked from his tongue when the lady’s golden eyes caught a glimpse of his own. His ever-blue eyes weren’t so blue at that very moment. This is the moment he was waiting for. If she’s in his arms again, he’d never let her go. After retracting in an instant, he took another peek. He shook his head, thinking it might be an illusion. The golden-haired lady caught his eye sent him a wink.
“It’s her” He whispered in his mind. No sound escaped from him yet in his mind, he’s exclaiming in different emotions he cannot fathom. He could hear his heart beat louder than the orchestra of these folks. He wanted to jump but it would only make him noticed.
The song finished and everyone dispersed to go to their own partners or grab some food and liquors in their towering buffet. Their chatters are the only thing that occupies the forest. There are no crickets or birds or any hunters. When he can hear them, they sound muffled.
“Lumine, can you fetch us some drinks?” A fairy waved at the golden lady.
“Will do!” Holding a tray, Lumine’s eyes were fixed in Ajax’s location. The fairies around her doesn’t seem to bother as long as their human captive would give them what they asked for. Her eyes are moving to a location, signaling him a direction without uttering a word.
***
His wariness of the surroundings made his mission successful. He managed to sneak to the back of the cottage where fairies are nowhere to be found. There were no lights in sight either. Only him, the barrels, crates, and the person he thought he lost for a long time.
Without making a sound, Lumine placed the tray atop the crate of cups. “What are you doing here?” She placed both of her hands in his face—he is warm. Her breathing started to run fast. She pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows, filled with unanswered internal interrogation. “You’re…. You—”
He placed his hands on her back, pulling her closer, “I am only thinking about you and I ended up here.”
He endured years thinking she’s already six feet under and will never be in his arms again until his own death. His grief knocked on his door on daily basis that they eventually turned into close friends. Even his summers and brightest days became monochromatic and lifeless. He was even sent home up in the cold north for a season, yet he only found himself wandering aimlessly, seeking thrill he cannot explain. Venturing to physical unknowns only made him number and more detached to himself. His reason of returning to the south, being a fisherman once again, was his family that needed his help. But there is a different pain that a dearie gives. A soothe to one’s exhaustion when alive; a belladonna in water when gone. Everyday feels like a slow death. There is no scarcity of ladies with golden hair, yet for him, she isn’t someone who could be replicated by mere physical appearance.
His eyes started to water. His grip on her is growing stronger and stronger.
A loud call on her name was heard once again. It is in higher pitch merged with impatience.
“Wait for me, I’ll serve them and I’ll return here.” He gently let her slip out. She tops all the cups with liquor and walks back to him once again, “Wait for me.” Then sprints out to the front of the cottage.
His mouth ajar, the ends of his mouth are pushing up. The muscles of his cheeks cannot remember the last time they were flexed like these.
As soon as she returned with another towering cups on the tray, he met her with assistance. He placed her tray on a crate and then pulled her in another tight hug.
Without hesitation, he loosened a bit to reach her head and pulled it close to his. The gravitational pull of their lips was inevitable—their bodies have been craving to be united again.
He flustered in her actions. She used a force to push him, “I know you missed me but this can’t be right.”
He furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head in slow motion. His confused gaze was holding her genuine ones. He has wished for this moment to come despite the hopelessness death could bring. Still, he couldn’t wrap his head around the words she said. “Do tell me. I’ll listen.”
She then walked towards him and embraced. She can hear his heart beating and feel his warm body. “This body isn’t real. If you kiss me, you’ll get stuck here forever. These creatures, this everlasting food, these overflowing drinks, the whole merriment—they’re not real” She looks up to him teary-eyed. “Is that what you wanted?”
Is that what he wanted? To live with her forever in exchange of lifetime slavery to the fae folk? He might have wished for another life to be with her but definitely not the life in the fairy realm.
“Let me live here with you.”
“No... I thought you’d listen.”
“I do”
Lumine’s head took the weight of his heavy burden, the eagerness. She could barely look into his eyes. “I don’t even want to be here. I don’t want you to do the same mistake”. Ajax may not be able to see it but he can hear from her voice that there’s only a matter of time until she bursts into tears.
Back when she’s still living in the real land, when her mood drops down, he always pulls her for a warm hug. The hug that isn’t just a “hug”. It’s a whole understanding without saying any word. It’s a soft whisper of “I am here”, a reassurance that the person would never walk alone I this life.
He then pulled for another hug. Their bodies drawing closer gave her more strength to confess. She indeed isn’t alone now. He found her.
“I am listening…” he buried his fingers in her hair and caressed it.
She looked up to him. Their gazes met and locked. “I am a slave of this world now. If I only didn’t eat the food they laid on the table when it was late at night and I am overworking in the fields.” She pursed her lips and took a deep breath, “Never call your name to be the blame for this. I might not be with you soon but I do always find a way to be with you.”
Quite perplexed, he furrowed his eyebrows, then turned into relaxed state when he prioritized thinking that she’s making an effort to still be with him. “And how could I find you?”
“I am taking a form of a small creature, as I cannot go back to my body anymore. Be it a bird, a bunny, everything!” He then remembered that earlier, before he entered the dark forest, he crossed with a bunny that nearly made him stumble. “The bunny earlier…”
“I gave you a warning.” She closed her eyes, shook her head, and smiled, “You never changed, don’t you? You are still my beloved… my eager, my stubborn beloved.” She reached for his lips but abruptly controlled her reckless movement. She had her eyes wide upon realizing the little embarrassment on her end. “Listen: before they call my name once again, turn your waistcoat inside out, or your whole shirt. Peek on the merriment and throw a rock. You’d understand”
He nodded yet it didn’t convince her. She asked him once again, “do you understand?”
“Yes”
“That would be my last request. Remember, I’ll always be with you.”
In a swift action, he did what he was told. She just stood there with her arms crossed with her foot lightly tapping the grassy floor. He picked up a mossy rock as large as his hand. She walked beside him and placed her hand atop the rock. “Please live your life… for me. I’d always be with you. I don’t want to see you weeping because of me. That’s far from the life we wanted.”
“The life we could’ve had, if they only spared your life” He threw the rock where the light is. At the back of the cottage, it was dark. The fair folk barely noticed who is in there, that there are two human souls in there. He pulled her close. “They took you away from me”, his eyes finally sprang tears. These were the tears he held for years. They are heavy that left him gasping. It all happened within few moments that felt like seconds.
Both of them watched the lights go, like a blown-out candle. The forest smelled like ashes and there are literal ashes and glittery dust flying all over. Was it the end?
Even the cottage left no trace. Not a single twig from it thatched roof nor a huge block of rock left.
His tears replaced by a smile when he realised she’s still in his arms, but the expression turned sour in an instant. When he turned to see her face, she’s still smiling yet she’s slowly disintegrating into ashes and glittery dust. He ran his fingers through her hair and held on it.
For not long, she also joined the fairies. Even the blonde hair that was left tangled on his fingers slowly turned into dust.
***
Ajax’s head throbbed as if someone kept on smashing it with a mallet. He ran his fingers and caressed to calm it down. It is his price to pay for a night of spontaneous adventure that brought the colours back to his life. Years he wasted waiting for that moment to come.
He saw himself back in a familiar house. It wasn’t his but it is the place he used to visit before.
He saw his waistcoat and sleeve filled with greige dust. He wondered how he got it but when he turned his sleeves to get a better view of it, he saw how it glimmers. His adventure was real!
A loud knock emanated from the door. He stood yet his head pulled him back on the soft bed. His head was heavy bearing the memories of yesterday.
A blond man opened the door. He was only a bit taller than Lumine and his face was only more masculine than her. He was carrying a tray with soup and coffee. He placed it on the table near him.
He is Aether, Lumine’s twin brother. He’s the only family left for her. When Ajax and Lumine became betrothed, he witnessed the eternal love of his sister to this redheaded fisherman. She always tells him stories about her trip to the shore and the port, and how happy she was to be with this man. She never made her life about it yet it is evident that their bond did something for her. With the love in her mind, she was more sincere and hopeful to her everyday life. Indeed, the lovers painted colours in their lives. When she found lifeless on the moorland, he went to the port to tell her lover. As a respect for her lived life, he didn’t throw the gifts nor burned her letters. The memory of the lovers is still alive in the very same room where the redhead stays at the moment.
“Open the drawer on the table. You’d find a letter there. I believe it’s from her.” He hurried to pick up the tray and leave the room.
“But how did you know?” Ajax’s question startled the young blond man. He stopped standing in the doorway.
“I saw it one day in the backyard, through twigs and pebbles. That was months after she parted. I took note of it. It is quite surreal, you know? Then I kept seeing birds, bunnies, all sorts coming with their own object. Rain or shine, they’d find a way to find their way here. They finish every Thursday.” He took a deep breath before finally leaving, “That’s all you need to know.”
***
His stay in her old house, being taken care of by her own brother, was short. After the blond man left the room, there were no further exchanges. He washed the dishes then bid goodbye. The air was still cold in that house. Even their eyes never met.
He only stayed there a little while after he finished his soup and coffee. He wasn’t able to open the letter yet he put it in his pocket. When he opened the drawer, the letter was atop the pile of their old love letters. He only picked the one he was told to pick.
When he was out walking towards the coast, where he lodges, on the small hedges not from afar, he saw a bunny emanate from it. It was cream, almost resembling the lightest blonde hair. Was there even a bunny in that colour?
He stopped. It was carrying a red berry between its mouth. It is just looking up at him when he’s comically tall beside the strange creature. It then started chewing the fruit. The bunny didn’t leave in the sight of a human—it could be her? He pulls out the letter from his pocket and knelt. “Is this from you?” The animal hopped yet it still remained in place. He placed it on the floor, enough height for the bunny to sniff. The bunny, with its reddened mouth, placed itself, making an imprint on the letter.
He chuckled at the sight of it. It might really be her. A moment later the bunny hopped far away, in his opposite direction, never to be seen again.
She’s gone again.