Chapter Text
Wakatoshi had always been admired by peers. He was well off as a child, he was tall, athletic, conventionally attractive, and highly praised by the adults in his life, excluding his mother.
Now years later Wakatoshi is lying in his bed pretending to still be asleep on a dreary Sunday morning. It was 8:30AM, he would usually be out on his run by now, but he decided his bed was where he wanted to be this morning.
His wife, Yukina, was making breakfast for the two of them in the other room. Wakatoshi could hear her as she prepared whatever it was she had decided to make this morning. Yukina and him married when they were both 21 and it had been an uneventful 6 years.
Most people dream for years to have a life like his. Professional athlete, beautiful wife, nice home, and generational wealth, but he was never happy with it. Something about it all was off.
Yukina was kind, forgiving, and thoughtful. She was a perfect wife at her core. She just wasn’t perfect for Wakatoshi.
His mother and Yukina’s father thought they would be perfect for each other all those years ago, and Wakatoshi felt inclined to agree. From an outsider’s perspective they were perfect. Both of them were very well mannered and would fit together in a lovely traditional marriage, but that’s not what Wakatoshi wanted.
He didn’t want this.
He wanted something else.
He wanted someone else.
***
When he met Yukina for the first time, she was very nervous, and you could tell she wanted it to work out.
"Hello, you're Ushijima, right?" she said as she stood up from the table in the nice café their parents arranged for them to meet in.
"Yes. I assume you are Maekawa?" Wakatoshi said in his usual tone.
"I am! It's nice to meet you. My father was excited for me to have a chance to be with someone like you."
"Thank you. It's nice to meet you as well. My mother was very insistent on me saying yes to your father's request."
"Oh… uh, did you not want to say yes?" she said, sounding a little hurt.
"I am just usually very focused on my volleyball career that I do not maintain a very good social life. My best friend was the one who tended to get me out, but I haven't seen him much after high school. I have never pursued someone romantically before."
"I guess that makes sense. I'm not very outgoing socially either. Mostly just out for walks and such. I never found much interest in parties or clubs." She pleasantly made small talk with such ease and enthusiasm that Wakatoshi never could.
"Neither could I," he responded flatly. His mother was right; she was perfect for him on paper. Every time Wakatoshi laid eyes on her, she was so picture-perfect. She always knew what Wakatoshi wanted and what he needed. That's why Wakatoshi never left. That's why he married her two years after they met. That's why it's been six years since then, and he's still married to her. His life is perfect.
So why isn't he happy with it?
"You're very quiet," she stated, the kind of way Wakatoshi would when he didn't know what to say. Not with malicious intent, but just to express something they noticed.
"I get that a lot. Like I said, I don't get out much aside from when my best friend would drag me out from the dorms."
"You keep talking about this best friend of yours. Will I ever meet him?" she asked, not knowing that Wakatoshi doesn't even know the next time he'll see him.
"He moved to France for school three months ago," Wakatoshi said as if that one sentence didn't break his heart. Satori was what gave his life meaning throughout high school: him and volleyball. Sure, he had other friends on the Shiratorizawa Volleyball Team, but none like Satori. He had his roommate, Reon, who he had been friends with since middle school, and while he was very dear to Wakatoshi, their relationship was never like his and Satori's. If Wakatoshi could only interact with Satori for the rest of his life and never see another human again, he probably wouldn’t even mind it that much.
“Do you get to see him much? Or call?” she asked innocently.
“We call often, but he is busy with school and I’m busy with volleyball.”
The two talked and talked and got to know each other. Wakatoshi enjoyed himself; how could he not? She was charming and well spoken. She did most of the talking. In a way it felt kind of like being around Satori. Except she wasn’t Satori. He couldn’t be with Satori. It wouldn’t work. So he settled with Yukina. They had a good life.
Eight years later, he’s sitting in his kitchen as Yukina sleeps in their shared bedroom. Something kept him awake this night, and almost like it was planed, his phone lit up with a message from Satori. After the first year of Satori living abroad their contact somewhat fizzled out. Not because of some big argument or fight, they just kind of drifted apart. For some reason that was worse than if they had fought. The last time they texted was last year when Satori’s chocolaterie ended up on television and Wakatoshi messaged him to congratulate him.
Wakatoshi opened the message.
It read
“Hi toshi!!! I’ve been missing you and js wanted to see how you’ve been doing. so how’re you doing??”