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The ringing beside Robin’s ears is loud, insistent. Only two people are allowed to call his private number at such an hour, and whenever that happens, he knows it’s usually because there’s something really important they need him for. Eyes barely opened, he blindly grasps at his phone, picks the call up and mumbles hoarsely to the screen, “Hola?”
He’s greeted by two booming screams, so loud he’s jerked awake completely and has to shove the phone away to avoid permanent deafness. “WE GOT THE CALL UP!!!”
Perhaps Robin can be forgiven for not understanding immediately what’s happening over there. After all, he isn’t exactly a morning person, and he just spent the previous night doing his special job, a fact that his two boyfriends know very well. So, after rubbing the sleep off his eyes and gingerly picking the phone back, he asks, cautiously, “What call up?”
He can see Zubi and Meri – because it’s them, of course – look at each other on the screen before turning back at him, rolling their eyes as if he’s just asked something really stupid. “The national team call up of course,” Zubi says in Euskara, the language Robin had picked up when he played for Real Sociedad. “We got the confirmation today. Meri was worried that Mister won’t call him because of his injury, but…”
Zubi’s still talking, but Robin doesn’t hear anything after “national team call up”. Because of course, it’s about that. The email to confirm their participation for the World Cup. One thing Robin has been dreaming of since he’s a kid, one thing he’s been working hard to achieve these past few years, one thing he’s been dreading and waiting for at the same time…
And also the one thing he’s immediately sent into the “trash” folder in his email, for it says exactly the opposite.
Robin hasn’t told anyone about it, his boyfriends included. He cannot. Especially now, when Zubi and Meri are so elated by their own call-up that they just have to video-call him in this eerie hour, obviously cannot wait to share this good news, and perhaps expecting to get excited together. So, taking a deep breath, he says heartily, “Congratulations! I know you guys will play well and bring Spain the World Cup again, after all, you’re top of the Premier League, aren't you…”
He knows it’s the right thing to say, for Zubi lets out a small giggle and a big smile spreads over Meri’s face before the latter asks, “How about you, Robin? Have you gotten your confirmation email yet?”
“No,” Robin lies, keeping his tone and face as neutral as possible. “Not yet.”
“Well, I wish they would be quicker,” Meri says. “Some national teams have released their World Cup roster, but I don’t think we have even had a full team yet. I wonder what they’re waiting for…”
Robin shrugs. “We are Spain, Meri. With all the talent we have, they might still be confused on who to choose. And it’s alright, there are still weeks ahead of the World Cup, we can wait. I’m sure the full line-up will be announced soon.”
They chat for a little while, until Robin excuses himself saying he needs to prepare himself for training. And after a few more exchanges of sweet words and promises to meet in Spain before the tournament starts, he finally hangs up.
Once Zubi and Meri’s faces fade from his screen, Robin just drops himself to the nearest chair, shakily letting out a breath he doesn’t know he’s been holding.
He’s happy for his boyfriends, he really is. And he certainly does recognize that they both deserve this honor, considering how well Arsenal’s season has been going and their own part in it. But the happiness also feels bittersweet because he cannot play alongside them. He can only be there as a spectator, cheering for them and hoping they’ll bring Spain the second World Cup trophy without being able to do anything on the pitch to help them.
Robin looks down at his trembling hands, a single tear runs down his cheek.
He’s aware he will have to tell his boyfriends, eventually. And he’d rather do it before they get to know the truth from the official line-up released by RFEF. But, Robin decides as he dries his eyes, he doesn’t need to do it right away. He’ll give them some time before he finally breaks the bad news, as gently as possible so they won’t feel guilty, or worse, try to kill Luis de la Fuente for him.
Zubi and Meri are celebrating right now. His personal grief can wait.