Archive of Our Own

~~~~~

Suguru doesn't know why he agreed to any of this.

There have been a few times when he felt as though things were spiralling out of his control.

This is one of those times.

Suguru watches as his daughters make their way to their seats on the train, keeping a close eye on his surroundings. It is almost like his girls have decided to make this the most uncomfortable trip of his life. As if it weren't enough that he was being made to go to his hometown, Haruka and Fuyumi thought it would be nice to go there by train.

Suguru has to travel by train with five children. Four teens and one toddler. No Satoru to help him out either.

Satoru had been very apologetic about not being able to make it. He had tried his best to come at least until Hiezu, but the strongest sorcerer can't take a vacation just because he feels like it. He was needed overseas and had begrudgingly backed out of this family trip. Satoshi couldn't come either because he had to go on a long mission as well. Both of them promised to come towards the end of their stay, though. Suguru really hopes that they stick to their word, because he isn't sure how sane he is going to be at the end of this two-week stay in Hiezu, his hometown.

Yes, the girls wish to stay there for two weeks. Suguru will be surprised if he can make it to the one-week mark.

It's…not the place that he is wary of. It's the people. It's the memories.

His parents.

He hasn't seen them in almost twenty years. The last time he came here was when he was still a first-year, all bright-eyed and hopeful, albeit still nursing the heartbreak caused by his mother from when he had been preparing to go to Tokyo for the first time. He had been proud when he told his mother about the good he was doing for society.

The next summer, he wanted to destroy that very society. He had briefly entertained killing all non-sorcerers. Including his parents. No—starting with his parents. After all, if he had to commit, if he had to really go through with it with all his conviction, shouldn't he start there? So that there would be no going back? No second-guessing?

But he had been too much of a coward to do it. Or maybe, he would've done it, but Satoru stopped him before he went too far.

How was he supposed to face them again after entertaining such a thought? At that point, he couldn't even fathom meeting his mother's gaze.

And then, he was put on house arrest as a punishment for killing a villager while rescuing Nanako and Mimiko. It just so happened that he was pregnant, so he could convince himself that he could get away with isolating himself. He didn't pick up his mother's calls. Satoru told him that his parents were sending him letters, but Suguru didn't dare to read them.

All he did was wire them the money that he had. When his funds ran out, Satoru assured him that he could help. Suguru had no choice but to accept Satoru's generosity, seeing that he didn't have any money of his own anymore.

When he gave birth to Satoshi, his life revolved around his baby. And then he got pregnant with Satomi. It only became easier to convince himself that he didn't have the time or energy to visit his parents. If Satoru brought them up, Suguru would shut it down until Satoru eventually gave up asking.

Of course, Haruka and Fuyumi had to turn everything upside down.

"Mom, we forgot to give this to you last night..." Fuyumi says, at breakfast the morning after Mother's Day. It's just him, Satomi, and the twins at the table. The day before, Natsuki and the twins had planned a wonderful day for him, and his oldest children had come back home from their missions too, just to make him feel special. Suguru is still riding that high, so he doesn't see it coming at all.

"So...uh," Haruka trails off and fiddles with an envelope in her hand. 

"Does any of this have anything to do with that envelope there in your hand, Haruka?" Suguru asks, spotting the thing in his daughter's hand that she's poorly attempting to hide.

"Kind of?" 

Satomi scoffs. "Out with it, already! So much suspense!" She says, clicking her tongue. 

"Fine!"Haruka huffs, glaring at her sister before turning to Suguru. "Mom, when we were looking for albums for the photos a few weeks ago..." She trails off and looks at Fuyumi, who sighs and continues.

"...we found letters that you exchanged with your parents, specifically, your mother, many years ago." 

At the mention of his mother, Suguru's heart drops to his stomach. 

"A-and we thought...we thought..." Haruka trails off again at the sight of her mother's face going paler every second. 

"You girls...seriously," Satomi slaps her palm to her face. 

"We thought we should write to our gra–your mother, just to tell her that we exist..." 

Suguru is almost catatonic. He tells himself that he should move. Say something. Ask the girls for the envelope. Scold them for crossing the limits. For poking their noses into something that even Suguru hasn't dared to deal with, all these years.

"And she wrote back saying that she'd love to have us in the village for the summer and get to know us. She wrote that she tried calling you, Mom, but you never picked up. She said she'd really love for you to come visit your old home and parents…if-if you w-wish." Haruka's voice trembles as she summarises the letter.  By now, the twins must be aware that what they thought was benevolent is having the opposite effect on Suguru. 

Suguru loses all his appetite. He wants to scream. He wants to hurl. He wants to run away and hide. 

Home? 

This is his home. Has been for the last fifteen or sixteen years. Home is Satoru. Home is his children. The Suguru of the past? The home of his past? They're all buried deep inside the darkest pits of his heart. 

Why did his kids, however well-meaning they are, decide to do this? Do they really think that he was stable enough for this? 

"Mom, let me call Dad. Girls, you went a little far this time," Satomi says, her voice stern as she berates the twins.

Suguru finally looks up at them and can't help but feel bad. Both Fuyumi and Haruka look very guilty and even have tears in their eyes.

He knows that they didn't mean to overstep like that. They don't know anything about Suguru's past. All they know is that he's their Mom. Not the special grade high school student Suguru. Not the small village bumpkin Suguru. Not the quiet Suguru who never fit in. Not the Suguru who craved to be understood by his parents.

"Mom, we're sorry," Haruka says first, and Fuyumi nods fiercely. The two of them are a little frantic as they come closer to him. 

That's when something slides out of the envelope. 

Before the twins could make a move, Satomi bent down to pick it up. She gasps when she sees what it is.

And then she holds it up in front of Suguru to show him. 

It's a faded photo of Suguru and his parents. 

Suguru doesn't even dare to reach for it.

Suguru's fingers grip the strap of his shoulder bag tightly. He has the letter and the photo in the bag. He doesn't know why he's carrying it. He doesn't know why he agreed to any of this. He could've said no and handled the twins being sad for weeks until they eventually got over it. Kids do get over being told no, right?

But Suguru couldn't bring himself to, especially when he knows that his children crave normalcy sometimes. Being born a Gojo had its privileges, but it also meant that they could never have normal lives. And it didn't help that both Satoru and Suguru were estranged from their families.

But his children weren't at fault, were they? How could he ignore the innocence in their eyes? How could he deny them this experience that they long for? Haruka and Fuyumi have never asked him for anything. Suguru has unwittingly neglected the twins, middle children that they were, at many points in their childhood. It was his fault and not theirs that they grew up to believe that all they needed was each other and that they shouldn't bother Mama because he had to look after their younger brother, who was a baby and needed more attention or their older sister, who got sick very often.

And now, when they're finally asking for something at the risk of upsetting Suguru, he couldn't bring himself to say no to them. Even if it meant that Suguru had to face his demons. He had to face his past and maybe, finally, make peace with it.

"Excuse me, may I help you?" Suguru hears a voice behind him and turns to see a tall man looking at him intently. He leans down as if to pick the suitcase Suguru is holding.

"He can pick it himself, dude. And if he can't, his daughter will help him," Satomi butts in, inserting herself in the gap between Suguru and the stranger.

The man, who seems to be an alpha, backs off at the sight of another alpha, making a face and muttering something under his breath. Suguru sighs.

"Satomi…"

"You know he was hitting on you, right? You have to know that," Satomi insists.

"I'm very much aware. Thank you for doing what you did, but I know how to stand up for myself, you know?" He explains, not unkindly.

"Dad has put me in charge of protecting all of you. You should take it up with him," Satomi shrugs and tosses her backpack onto her seat. Suguru rolls his eyes, feeling fondly exasperated at how seriously Satomi is taking the role that Satoru jokingly gave her. She acts like it doesn't bother her, but Suguru is aware that she hates it when random alphas approach Suguru or her omega siblings. Every alpha in the twins' and Natsuki's classes is scared of her, and Satoru actively encourages it!

"Mama, I'm sitting with ne-chan!" Natsuki says, plopping into the seat next to Satomi's. Suguru will sit next to Ruriko while the twins choose to sit together.

They could have taken a flight and arrived in a fraction of the time. Satoru had certainly suggested it more than once. But of course, Haruka and Fuyumi had insisted on the train. They want the authentic experience, they said.

They want to watch the scenery change through the window, eat station bentos and switch trains the way travellers used to. They want to travel the way Suguru had when he was their age, making the long journey between Tokyo and Hiezu whenever he went home to visit his parents.

Suguru didn't have the heart to tell them that there had been nothing particularly romantic about it.

Back then, train travel had not been a charming experience. It had simply been the cheapest option available. He didn't have a wealthy husband or father capable of arranging first-class tickets and private transport to take them to their final destination. He’d travelled with heavy bags, cramped legs, and whatever money he could afford to spend.

But the twins are excited, and he doesn't want to burst their bubble. After all, there will be plenty of opportunities for disappointment later.

Soon enough, they will discover that Suguru’s childhood had not been the idyllic countryside story they seemed to imagine. They will learn that grandparents won't be automatically warm and understanding simply because they are family. They will learn that the world outside Tokyo, and especially outside the insulated environment in which Satoru and Suguru raise them, can be far less accepting of people who stand out.

The countryside he remembered was beautiful. But it was also small. And small towns remembered everything and forgave very little.

Where they are going, even being omegas can invite judgment. Being a sorcerer is another matter entirely. The children had grown up surrounded by people who treated their abilities as something extraordinary. In Hiezu, those same abilities will be viewed with suspicion at best and fear at worst.

Suguru looks out at the passing landscape and exhales quietly.

Almost twenty years. Nearly two decades since he had last been there.

His daughters probably think it's going to be a joyful reunion, but Suguru isn't a naïve teenager anymore. He knows not to expect much.

All he knows is that the moment he senses anything wrong, anything at all, he's going to put his children on a plane and fly them home. He has spent too many years building a life where his children are loved exactly as they are to let anyone make them feel otherwise.

_____

They de-board at Yonago, the nearest railway station to Suguru's hometown, before getting into the minivan that Satoru arranged for them. Suguru watches as Satomi loads their luggage into the van with the help of the driver.

"Mom, you look pale," Satomi says, glancing at him, nervously bouncing Ruriko in his arms. She isn't being fussy. If anything, it's Suguru who is restless and filled with dread. The scenery around him is as familiar as it feels unfamiliar. And he hates that he feels like the fifteen-year-old version of himself all over again. The air around him is as clean and unpolluted as it can get, but it suffocates him nevertheless.

"I'm fine," Suguru says, and Satomi does her usual eye roll, choosing to stay quiet instead of a snarky remark at Suguru's attempt at lying.

"It's just two weeks," Suguru says, but it's to convince himself rather than anybody else.

"You know you don't have to do this, right? We can go back. Sure, Haruka and Fuyumi would be very upset, but they'll get over it."

"Satomi, I can't break their hearts at this point."

Satomi looks like she wants to say something, but nothing comes out. She just sighs and shuts the doors of the boot.

"You want to say something," Suguru says, looking at her face.

But before she can say anything, they are interrupted by the twins, who speak over each other and then giggle.

"One at a time, girls," Suguru says, shaking his head.

"Mom, we need to goooo!"

"We told Getou-san that we will be there in time for dinner, Mom," Fuyumi says, and for a moment there, Suguru gets a whiplash. The Getou-san in question is not him, but his estranged mother. Suguru himself doesn't always associate himself with Getou. He doesn't know how to feel about it.

Can Suguru really see it like he has lost his identity when he has gained so much in life after becoming a Gojo? It's not the significant elevation in status that made his life better, but the acceptance, love and belonging that he gets from Satoru. In fact, Suguru doesn't even care all that much about the Gojo surname either. It will all be about the life he has built after leaving his painful past behind. He built his whole world and identity from scratch, and coming back here, to this village and to his parents, is opening the doors to a room that he had no plans on venturing into ever again.

Children always keep you on your toes, don't they? They make you do things that you once swore you'd never do.

"Yeah, we're coming. Let's get in, Satomi," Suguru says, and settles Ruriko into the car seat that the driver had already set up for her.

Once they're all settled in, Suguru takes one good look at all his children. It is possible that their idea of him and his past will be completely different after this point. Suguru only hopes that they understand the reasons and the intentions behind his decision to stay distant.

"Yamada-san, let's go," Suguru says, and he feels as though he is laden with concrete. Satomi turns around from the front passenger seat and raises a brow, like she is asking him if he was sure.

And all Suguru can do is shrug.

The things you do for your children.

_____

"Wow, this is really a village," Haruka says, scratching her head as she looks around at the unanimated streets.

"Of course, genius. What were you expecting? We're in the middle of nowhere right now," Satomi retorts and Haruka pouts, hearing that.

"Mom, we take a left ahead, right?" Fuyumi asks, interrupting her sisters. When she doesn't hear a response, she turns to Suguru, who has been biting his lip raw ever since they entered the village.

He can't help but notice that Hiezu looks smaller than he remembered.

As he watches the countryside unfold in front of him, he sees that while everything feels smaller, narrower, the village has not nearly changed as much as he would have expected. Sure, he can see some supermarket chains and a few new restaurants, but the landscape remains the same. The rice fields with their neat, green patches, the mountains in the distance, the small houses nestled between fields and now-better roads, the distant sounds of crashing waves in the Sea of Japan…

The nostalgia Suguru feels at the sight is tinged with bitterness, to say the least, which he knows is no fault of the village landscape itself but its people.

He still remembers feeling as though he had been stripped bare when he stepped out for the first time after his first heat. The whispers about his presentation, the special attention to his body, the catcalls from alphas he used to play with, the loose clothes that he started wearing to hide from the stares…

He looks at his children, who are open, wild-spirited. He had been like them once, and then he had to change.

He'd never let the world change them like he let it happen with him. He would never tell them that they need to hide to survive.

He looks back at the road, the empty houses, some shuttered storefronts and the absence of children running through the streets. Japan’s countryside has been shrinking for decades, and Hiezu is definitely no exception.

He hears excited chatter from the children, talking about the tranquil landscape. Fuyumi even asks the driver to let her roll down the window so that they could breathe the fresh countryside air. To them, it looks like the countryside from books and movies, the kind of place people escape to when they are tired of city life, a place where the air feels cleaner, and the sky seems larger.

To them, it's a place where their Mama had grown up, so he couldn’t entirely blame them for romanticising it.

And it was beautiful, objectively speaking.

Their excitement twists something uncomfortable in his chest because he knows they had expectations for this trip. They want stories, they want family, and they want to see the places Mama talked about, sometimes.

But what Suguru has never told them is that there is a reason he only talked about those things, why he had edited his childhood heavily for their sake. He didn't want to tell them about the loneliness, the isolation, the feeling of being different.

He had raised them to be loud and expressive. Even Satomi. Sure, he clashed with her on many things, but he'd never take away her right to express her grievances and to stand up for what is right, even if it meant that Suguru was in the wrong. None of the children had been taught to carefully monitor every word that came out of their mouths or to hide parts of themselves.

His gaze drifts back towards the road ahead. Somewhere not far from here stands the house he hasn’t seen in almost twenty years. The house that his parents still live in.

He grips his bag tightly, the one with his mother’s letter folded carefully inside, where she wrote that she wants to see him and her grandchildren.

"Suguru, are you sure?" Satoru asks, hugging him from behind as Suguru reads the letter for the third time that night, the paper creasing beneath his tight grip. "We can send a message instead, if you don't want to go. And the girls won't do this again, they promised me. Don't be too mad at them, okay?" Satoru says, kissing his nape as if to soothe him. Suguru closes his eyes, feeling Satoru's soft lips brush against his skin, making it tingle.

"I'm not that mad at them anymore," Suguru mumbles. "Besides, what they did was wrong, but the truth is that I can't keep running away from it all. Satoru, you've built a beautiful cocoon for me, and I think I've gotten so comfortable that I forgot where I actually come from, what my roots are. I think I should go back."

Satoru doesn't say anything. He simply rests his chin on Suguru's shoulder while he plays with his hair.

"They're getting old, too. I don't know how long I have until they…" Suguru chokes up a little despite himself, and Satoru immediately hugs him tight.

"Whatever you do, I will try my best to make sure you are not uncomfortable."

"Satoru, you really do baby me so much. You've made life too easy for me. I need to experience uncomfortable things, you know?" Suguru says, turning a bit just to kiss Satoru on the cheek.

"Hmm, not till I'm alive. Or any kid of ours is. Till your very last day, we will strive to make it comfortable for you. It's the least we can do for our Sugumama, no?" Satoru says, gently pulling him into his lap.

"You're silly," Suguru says, booping Satoru's nose to see him laugh. The same laugh as Satoshi and the twins. His heart feels so full that he doesn't quite recall the sinking feeling reading the letter gave him.

Soon, the driver stops the car by the gate of his house. Everything looks the same but different. His parents have had everything repainted and repaired, but Suguru knows that this house has seen better times.

As everyone gets out of the car, Suguru busies himself in undoing the buckle of Ruriko's seat. It is when he picks her up that he hears the clang of the gate opening.

"Ah, here you all are."

Despite himself, Suguru's eyes feel moist at the sound of his mother's voice. He holds Ruriko close to himself, trying to pace his breathing so that he can compose himself. Ruriko looks up, her blue eyes bright and smiling. She has no idea about her mother's turmoil, does she?

Deep down, Suguru knows that he misses her. Over the years, the searing pain has faded into a dull ache that makes itself known on her birthdays or on Mother's Day. Every year, he would think about how he could handle one of his own children being estranged. Every time, he realises that he's the biggest hypocrite to have walked on Earth.

"Suguru, you are here," his mother says. He turns to see her standing a few feet away from him.

His mother is right in front of him. The same mother he hasn't spoken to all these years. The woman who said she wanted to see him regardless.

His mother, Getou Sachiko.

He can see that time has changed her a lot. He can see it in her wrinkles, the hands that tremble despite her best attempt to keep them steady. Her hair has greyed more, and she looks frail. In her mid-sixties, she's not as robust as she used to be.

He remembers how she used to be the pinnacle of delicate beauty. The ideal omega. Her height and build had been that of the perfect omega. Not too tall, not too fragile. Petite enough to be paraded around like the trophy omega wife and sturdy enough to have a healthy baby.

Her only flaw had been that she hadn't been able to have a baby until her mid-thirties. Roughly the age Suguru had his…last baby.

By the time Suguru was ready to go to Jujutsu Tech, she'd already turned fifty.

If it were up to you, she wouldn't have lived past fifty-one.

The thought comes unbidden and leaves him shaken.

For a few moments, Suguru is his seventeen-year-old self again, briefly entertaining the thought of ending everything, starting with his own parents.

It's that every thought that has kept him away all these years. How can he possibly think he deserves to come here when he imagined the unimaginable? He had once thought himself capable of parricide. And he knows himself; were it not for Satoru's intervention, he would have done it.

Satoru doesn't even know that he wouldn't have stopped at the village. Suguru never told him about this. How could he, when Satoru thinks that his intervention in that village had been the only blunder he almost made? Maybe Satoru is that naïve. He didn't know that Suguru had been ruminating on his plans until the day he found out about his pregnancy. Once Satoru knew about his pregnancy and told him how high the stakes were, Suguru knew he couldn't just walk out and put his baby's life at risk.

Satoshi's existence saved many.

"Oh, how you've grown."

She comes close as if to hug him. That's what people would do if they met their parents after two decades of estrangement, right? Especially if it didn't end on mutually bitter terms.

"Mom, how are you?" Suguru asks, the knot in his throat growing bigger as she smiles up at him. They managed to give each other a side-hug, the best that Suguru can do while still holding Ruriko in his arms.

"Ah, she's a beautiful one, isn't she?" she says, looking at Ruriko, who hides her face in his neck. "Is she shy?"

"A little," Suguru says, looking at his daughter as he bounces her and encourages her to wave to her grandmother.

"Hi," she mumbles, giving a shy little wave to Sachiko.

"You look healthy, Suguru," she says, reaching out to touch his hair, just like she used to, back then. But there is a hesitant pause as her hand hangs awkwardly in the air. Suguru has to lean in so that she knows she can still touch him.

"They're long and healthy," she says, her fingers carding through his hair before patting his arm. "Tokyo treated you well?"

"Satoru treats me well," Suguru says instead, and there is a look of understanding in her eyes. Suguru can see that she wants to know more, but Suguru doesn't know if she will ever understand.

"Your husband…he didn't come?" Sachiko asks, looking inside the van and then around.

"Satoru and Satoshi, um, our eldest, they are out of the country for work reasons. They said they'll try to come," Suguru says, and Sachiko nods.

"Um, where's Dad?" he asks.

"He must be on his way back from the market. Let's go inside and get settled, hm?" she says, ushering him towards the house. "All of your children are wonderful. I was very shocked when Haruka and Fuyumi wrote to me. I thought it was a cruel prank."

Suguru eyes the two girls, who look down sheepishly, dodging eye contact. It was a cruel prank, alright, just not on Sachiko.

"Ah, don't be so hard on them, Suguru. They wrote to me without telling you, didn't they?" Sachiko says, patting the girls' backs.

"Yes, they got a little ahead of themselves," Suguru says, shaking his head.

"I'm glad they did. Thank you for coming here and bringing them with you. I'd almost—" she stops there and looks at Suguru and then at the children before shaking her head. "Anyway, Satomi, how old are you, child?"

"Um, I'm almost eighteen," she says, leaning down awkwardly because of the height difference between her grandmother and herself.

"She's going to turn seventeen this August," Haruka supplies, and Satomi gives her a look.

"Haha, can't wait to be all grown up, hm? I must say, you have such beautiful features. Your eyes are just like Suguru's. At first glance, I think you resemble your father, but when I look carefully, you really are all Suguru," Sachiko says, and Satomi nods slowly, turning to look at Suguru. "Like a mythical fairy," Sachiko says.

And won't Suguru agree? Satomi is indeed so beautiful, and he thinks about it every single day, whenever he looks at her. It still feels unreal that he made her.

"The alphas she beats up think otherwise," Natsuki says.

"Ah, you're a brutish alpha?" Sachiko asks, amused.

"I just give bullies the treatment they deserve," Satomi says, puffing up her chest proudly. Suguru rolls his eyes, and everybody laughs along.

They walk inside the house, and the first thing Suguru notices is that nothing has changed in all these years. The vase at the entrance, the bowl with all the keys, the shelf with all the shoes, the umbrella stand…they are all the same. The shoji doors are different, maybe after all these years of wear-and-tear.

"Getou-san—"

"You should call me grandma, kids," Sachiko says, looking at all five of them. They look at Suguru instead, who feels as though he's been pushed to a corner. He can't really tell them not to at this point, can he? So, he nods encouragingly and focuses on taking his shoes off after setting Ruriko down.

"Mom! Look, Natsu looks just like you!" Fuyumi says, pointing to the wall with pictures of the family. There are a couple of Suguru as a baby and from when he was in middle school, before his first heat. There is only one picture from when he was about to leave for Jujutsu Tech.

"Wow, Mama and I are twins," Natsuki says, full of awe.

"You're just a little taller than he was at your age. Both your parents are quite tall, so you've got the better gene," Sachiko says, chuckling. "You're trying to grow your hair out like Suguru?"

"Hmm, Mama is pretty, and I want to be pretty like him," Natsuki says, and Suguru feels just a little embarrassed.

"You already are," she says, looking at him with a tender look in her eyes.

Suguru's chest aches just a little at the sight. There weren't many times she looked at him like that. Once he saw his first curse, concern was the only emotion Suguru saw in her brown eyes.

And sometimes, fear.

"Damn, is that your father? Mom, you look nothing like him. No offence, Grandma," Satomi says, leaning forward to take a better look at the family photo they had gotten before Suguru left Hiezu for good.

"I'll take that as a compliment, then. He got most of his looks from my side of the family. But he is as tall as his father. And maybe, his temper too," Sachiko says, sneaking a glance at Suguru.

"Mom…" Suguru shakes his head. He wants to feel happy. He knows that this is supposed to be a happy reunion. There should be more joy, and laughter, and conversations about the old times. But all Suguru feels is dread. He's anxious about how things will unfold once Sachiko realises just how different these children are. How strange they are. They won't shrink to fit themselves into a mould like Suguru had to, just so that he didn't shame his parents.

"That's interesting…" Satomi says, grinning.

"Satomi ne-chan has the same temper, too," Haruka says, never missing a chance to tease her older sister. Satomi grabs her and tickles her until she pleads to be let go.

"You are a funny bunch. Okay, Suguru, you show them the rooms. The room that used to be a store room is now all cleared out."

"How come?"

"Ah, we lease that room out to someone. She's currently back home for the summer, so the kids can take that room. We have extra futons, too."

Suguru wonders if they leased it out to have someone else, other than them, occupying the house or if it was financially motivated. The money Suguru has been wiring isn't enough? He should ask about it later when the kids aren't around.

"Okay, I'll keep the stuff upstairs. Girls, can you help me?" Suguru asks, and his daughters follow him upstairs with the bags and suitcases while Natsuki and Ruriko stay downstairs with their grandmother.

"Girls, you can stay with Satomi in that room, alright?" Suguru says, pointing to the room to his.

"Can I sleep in the living room? I don't have the patience for their pranks, Mom," Satomi says, looking at her phone.

"They won't play any pranks. Girls?"

"We won't!"

"Good. Satomi is allowed to take revenge if you do. Satomi, happy?"

Satomi comes close and sniffs near his face.

"What is it?" He asks, shifting away because she's all in his space.

"Are you drunk? Can I have some?" Satomi asks, miming the act of drinking a shot.

"Satomi!"

"What? You just allowed me to take revenge against their pranks? Who are you and what have you done to my mother?" Satomi jokes, and Suguru elbows her in the ribs, not too roughly.

"Go on now, don't waste too much time inside. We need to head downstairs for dinner," Suguru says, and heads towards his childhood bedroom. He comes to a standstill at the door, his hand still resting on the handle.

"You'll be fine, right?" Sachiko asks as Suguru places his neatly-folded sweater in his trunk. The room is almost empty now. The posters have come down, and the drawers have been cleared out. Everything that made this place his is packed into a few boxes and a trunk.

"Yes, Mom. You talked to the teacher, didn't you? He said that it'll all be fine, once I'm settled."

"Right."

Suguru stops and looks at her. He wants to scream out loud. He wants to ask her if she's happy to get rid of him. If she has finally reached the limits of her tolerance.

Ever since that one time she walked in on him swallowing a curse, things between them have never been the same. The look on her face had been that of someone who had just witnessed a predator feasting on its prey. She thought Suguru was the wrong one, to be the anomaly. She didn't understand that Suguru was doing a good deed. She thought it was unsightly for an omega to do something so grotesque.

It added another item to the list of things that are wrong with Suguru.

It wasn't enough that he was born an omega in a rural, conservative village.

It wasn't enough to find that her child was "not normal" because he’d spent half his childhood seeing things nobody else could see, waking up screaming from nightmares about creatures that vanished by morning. Adults had smiled patiently, and teachers had exchanged concerned looks. His parents had taken him to doctors who found nothing wrong.

It wasn't bad that he filled out in all the 'right' places after presenting, and started attracting the 'wrong' type of attention.

And then, he just had to be seen swallowing a big, black ball-like object, looking off-putting and…freakish. He wouldn't be surprised if she looked at him and saw every nightmare she had ever had about him condensed into one person.

Maybe that was the final straw for her.

When Yaga arrived and explained the existence of a school for people with special abilities like Suguru's. He talked about training and opportunities in Tokyo, and Suguru had expected resistance. But her reaction to Yaga had stung more than anything else. Neither of his parents needed much convincing.

It's as though sending him away had been the easiest choice they had ever made.

"Suguru."

"Hm?"

"Do you understand why your father and I agreed?"

"Agreed to me going to Tokyo?"

"Yes."

"Because Jujutsu High seems to be a good school?" He asks.

"That’s part of it."

Suguru looks up as something twists unpleasantly in his stomach. He doesn't know if he wants this conversation to continue. He doesn't think they need to do this today or any day, to be honest.

Suguru tries to ignore the way her hands are clasped tightly together. Or the nervous biting of her lips.

"You’ll be happier there."

Suguru frowns, but he finds himself unable to completely deny that. Maybe he will be happier there. But what she says next is what breaks him.

"And I can be happy here."

For a moment, he almost wishes she had never said anything. But then, there's a part of Suguru who has always loved digging his wounds deeper. To scratch them and watch them bleed. The pain had always felt better. It kills him but makes him feel alive all the same.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He asks.

His mother takes a long breath, and when she speaks, her voice sounds fragile.

"I don’t understand your world, Suguru. I never have."

There it is. The moment of truth. The words his mother has been protecting him from are finally out. Should Suguru be grateful that she finally thinks he's grown enough to handle the truth or to ask her if she should really be telling this to her only child? The child she prayed so hard to have.

Maybe it makes sense. Maybe she realises now that all her prayers went to waste. Maybe she realises now that she's better off without one.

She doesn’t understand him. She doesn't accept that she made him.

"I tried," she continues softly. "I really did."

Something ugly begins to rise in his chest. His throat feels constricted with the storm of emotions brewing inside him. He's trying his best to contain his anger, his grief and his hurt. He doesn't wish to be hysterical now. He knows that his mother has gathered a lot of courage to say this to him, so he'll let her have it.

"I did. I really did," she says, her voice trembling. "When you were little, and you talked about the things you saw, I tried to understand. When you got older, I tried to understand that too. But every year it felt like you were moving further away from us."

All of a sudden, his anger dies before it can fully form. He can see that she is sad. She is grieving, too.

The only thing is, she's grieving the version of him that never was. The version of him he tried so hard to put on just so that his parents could be at peace.

"As your mother, I should know how to help you, how to protect you. But I don't."

Okay, Mom. I understand. Please, let's stop here. Don't say any more. Don't break my heart further.

"I don’t know how to raise someone like you anymore."

There it is. The thing they’ve all been dancing around for years.

So, she has reached the edge of what she can give him.

"I think…" Her voice breaks slightly. "I think there are people in Tokyo who can give you things your father and I can’t."

Suguru looks back down at the trunk and around, just to be able to keep his tears at bay and stay composed. He looks at the room he’s leaving behind and the home that suddenly doesn’t feel much like home anymore.

For years, he had thought that if he tried hard enough, if he acted normal enough, if he kept enough pieces of himself hidden, eventually the distance between him and everyone else would shrink. Instead, it had only grown until even his mother was standing here telling him she couldn’t reach him anymore.

"Suguru."

This time, her voice sounds desperate, but he can’t look at her. He knows that if she sees the tears in his eyes, she will backtrack and tell him not to go anymore. She knows that it would only be a band-aid to a deep gash. Things will never be the same any more. And he doesn't want her courage to go to waste.

"Thanks for telling me. As I said before, I'll be okay in Tokyo. New beginnings for all of us, right?" Suguru says, barely looking at her over his shoulder as he takes down the photo of him with his mother off the wall.

"Suguru—"

"Mom, it's fine. I'm grateful for everything you and Dad have done for me. But I have to go to Tokyo, just like you said. There's no place for me here, and it's not your fault."

Sachiko's tears are flowing freely, but she doesn't deny it. She can only stand there, hands clasped tightly, her whole form trembling as she's wracked with sobs. Suguru, while immensely hurt, can't suppress his instinct to tend to someone he loves being in so much distress. So, he gathers her in his arms and pats her back, just to get her to calm down a little. Suguru can't help but find the situation tragically comical. She's the one who broke his heart, and he's the one who's comforting her.

"Sachiko! There's someone at the door!" A shout comes from downstairs, and Sachiko moves away from him, wiping her tears away.

"Ah, your father is fixing the sink in the kitchen. I'll go get the door," she says and then looks at the photo frame in his hand. "Oh, that's a nice photo," she says.

"Hm, yeah, it is," Suguru says, looking down at the six-year-old Suguru holding an ice cream while his mother adjusts the hat on his head. "You should go before Dad throws another fit," Suguru says, attempting to add some levity to break the tension.

Sachiko laughs weakly and leaves, looking at him one last time before sliding the door shut behind her. As soon as she leaves, Suguru slides down against the wall, folding in on himself and letting his tears flow freely. His death grip on the photo frame cracks it just a little, and he can't help but find it fitting. The crack between him and his mother is finally giving way to a full-blown rift.

It's fine. He'll be fine. He just needs to leave, have his new beginning. Maybe make some new friends along the way. Save people, as Yaga said. So what if his abilities are grotesque? If he gets to save a little bit of humanity, he'll do his part.

The room is just like he had left it. The bed in one corner. His desk that sits empty. The walls adorned with trophies and certificates from school. The comic books he read as a child neatly placed on a bookshelf.

The missing photo frame on the wall that Suguru never took to Tokyo. It's lying somewhere deep inside the closet. Maybe his mother must have found it. Maybe that is why she knew not to try too hard to reach out to him.

He doesn't stay there for too long. He sets everything up and heads downstairs, where he hears his father's voice.

"Suguru. You're here," Getou Takashi, his father, says. Suguru bows respectfully before giving him a hug that is slightly more awkward than the one he gave his mother. "You had a whole litter of children, hmm? Your mother tells me that the eldest isn't here?"

"Uh, yes, he has some work, so he said he'd try to come later, next week, perhaps."

He nods and takes in the sight of him before patting his shoulder.

Getou Takashi has always been a man of few words. He has always been reclusive and emotionally unavailable. Maybe that is why Suguru expected so much from his mother. Maybe that is why he was hurt so badly.

"What about your husband?"

"Same as my son. Both of them sent their regrets," Suguru says. He knows that it's less about sentiments and more about the social norms. He could feel snubbed by the two 'most important alphas' of the family that Suguru is now a part of.

"Alright. It's good that you finally came. It's good to see our grandchildren, too. Better late than never," he says, and Suguru smiles awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Even after all these years, he doesn't know if his father is happy or upset. If anything, it's gotten more difficult to gauge his expressions. "Now come, dinner is ready. Everyone's waiting in there," he says, leading Suguru to the living room.

The living room seems much smaller now, maybe because he's older or maybe because it's crowded. It's definitely cramped, but everyone seems to be slipping into a sort of comfort that Suguru isn't sure how to feel about. How come he's the only one who feels out of place? Even Natsuki, who's usually fussy, seems to be rather curious about everything, asking his grandmother about the dishes and listening intently to her explanation.

In the fifteen years that he lived here, Suguru has never felt as if he belonged here, and somehow, in one hour, his children feel at home. It shouldn't feel like a betrayal, but it does.

"I've made your favourites, Suguru. All the seafood that you loved," Sachiko says, looking at him with a hopeful look on her face.

"You didn't have to do all that, Mom. Just what you eat usually would've been fine."

"How come? I mean, the kids must be used to a certain quality and variety of food, aren't they? Besides, it's not every day that they get to taste our regional specialities. They should also know the food their mother grew up eating," Sachiko says, serving the children food. Fuyumi and Haruka offer to help her, and Suguru sits down, not knowing what to say.

And then, his father says something that leaves Suguru even more shocked and disoriented.

"How old is everyone? Tell your grandparents something about yourselves, won't you?"

Did Suguru just hear him initiate a conversation? Attempt to know someone without being prompted to do so? Is he actually showing interest?

Suguru feels as though he's there and not at the same time. As though he's having an out-of-body experience. The only thing that grounds him is the familiar weight of Ruriko nestled against him, in his lap.

"Satoshi, Satomi, Haruka, Fuyumi, Natsuki and then Ruriko? Is this the order?" Sachiko asks as she serves Suguru.

"Yes. Um, Satoshi was…" Suguru trails off, feeling too embarrassed to admit that he got pregnant at seventeen. His parents sent him off to Tokyo for studies, and he ended up pregnant and mated almost right away, even if the circumstances were rather unusual.

His parents exchange glances, and Suguru catches Satomi laughing with her face to the side.

This girl…

"Well, it happens, I suppose. If it ended with you finding a nice, handsome alpha to settle down with, who took responsibility, then it's all well."

"Hm. It would've been nice to meet our son-in-law, though. He seems to be a very important man," Takashi grunts, and Suguru has to resist rolling his eyes. His husband is not an important man. He's the most important man in the country, maybe even the world.

"He's involved with many foreign governments. You know the Gojo clan, right?"

"I've heard a few things," he says.

"We've seen him in the newspaper. A very handsome lad, if you ask me," Sachiko says, and Haruka burst out laughing. Suguru widens his eyes at the way she snorted. And then he looks at his parents, who look amused.

If he'd laughed like that as a kid, he'd have gotten reprimanded for being too loud as an omega. Time changes people, huh?

"Papa is pushing forty, Grandma! You just called him a lad!"

"Both your parents look very young for their age!" Sachiko plays along. It's a jovial atmosphere, and Suguru struggles to accept it wholeheartedly. There has to be a catch. He needs to stay alert and watch out for it. There's no way it is this easy. Suguru can't just stay away all these years and come back home to show his kids that everything is all sunshine and rainbows. Because it wasn't. It wasn't like this when he was a child.

Mealtime was never fun. He mostly ate alone, watching TV or reading comics. His mother would nap when he came back from school, while his father worked in the city and came back late in the evening. It was rare for all three of them to sit together.

It was because of this that Suguru made sure all of them had at least one meal together, if they were at home. The table was never silent at the Gojo-Getou household. If anything, it was way too noisy.

The rest of the dinner, Suguru eats whatever his mother serves him, making sure to compliment her cooking every few minutes. Other than that, he remains quiet, watching his parents interact with his children. He notices that his father is very intrigued by Satomi, probably because she's the oldest alpha here after Satoru and Satoshi, who aren't here. And Satomi never misses a chance to be taken seriously by an older person, so she goes along with it happily. Natsuki is mostly fussy and playing around with his food, begrudgingly eating whenever Suguru gives him The Look that gets him to listen. Ruriko eats whatever Suguru feeds her now and then, getting off his lap to waddle around and explore.

But what leaves Suguru perplexed is the way his mother is totally smitten by Haruka and Fuyumi. While Suguru knows that they have a unique charm that gets people to listen to them and fall for whatever they say, he didn't expect his mother to completely embrace it. Especially the slightly off-putting vibes that the girls can give off at times. Suguru has had to apologise for their nosiness and their inability to be more polite. But Getou Sachiko seems to love whatever they have got going on, and Suguru's chest churns with something that he doesn't know what to name.

Or maybe, he doesn't want to name it, because then, it'd become real.

_____

That night, Suguru goes to the lawn after putting Ruriko to sleep. Natsuki also passed out after a whole day of travel, so Suguru slipped out for a bit to call Satoru.

The call connects right away, and Suguru is thankful for that. After the day he has had, he needs his dose of Satoru.

"Suguru, I miss you alreadyyyyyy," is the first thing Satoru says when the call connects. Suguru chuckles at his grown alpha whining like a fussy baby.

"It could've been the kids calling you with my phone, you know?"

"So? I'd tell them the same. 'I miss your Mama so muchhhhh!'"

"I miss you too, Satoru. Did you have breakfast? It must be 10 AM there, no?"

"Just about. I had something to eat, yeah. Did you have dinner?"

"Hmm, and put the kids to sleep. Well, Ruriko and Natsu. I think the girls will be up for a bit. Satomi is hanging out on the terrace. She says she'll sleep there tonight."

"That sounds fun. I hope the insects have a good time with her sweet blood," Satoru jokes and Suguru can't help but laugh.

"So mean, Satoru. But I said the same thing to her," Suguru says, to which Satoru laughs out loud.

"See, the two of us have become the same person over the years."

"This is why Satomi calls us bullies, Satoru."

"No, we're just building their character. And we've quite a lot of brats that need their attitudes fixed now and then. It's a worthwhile pursuit."

"I won't disagree completely…anyway. How has it been? When do you think you'll be done with the mission?"

"Why, miss me already? Missing the way I made you feel the night I left?"

"Shut up, Satoru. It's not always about sex, you know?"

"Who's talking about sex? I'm talking about making love. Are you telling me you don't miss me or my hands or my co—"

"Satoru!"

Satoru, the bastard, continues to laugh, but eventually Suguru laughs along.

"Admit it, baby."

"Fine, a little. But my mind has been occupied with other things, okay?"

"Hit me," Satoru says.

"Are you sure you have the time?"

"For you, all the time in the world, Suguru."

Ah, Satoru does know how to make his heart flutter even after two decades of togetherness and six children, huh?

"Very romantic, but seriously, I don't want to come between you and your work."

"Suguru, I'll tell you this however many times it takes for you to understand, but nothing is more important than you. Nothing."

Suguru sighs, his heart full with affection but also heavy with the mixed bag of emotions he has carried all day.

"Fine. I don't know…it's just been very weird here."

"You want to come back home? Should I ask Ijichi to book the plane tickets?"

"Satoru, he's not your personal assistant, you know?"

"Well, he's what? Thirty-three years old? He can learn to say no."

Suguru knows which battles to pick. This is not one he wishes to pick.

"No, you don't need to call Ijichi. You sent him on a vacation, so let him be. Anyway, everything here is so…I don't know. It's the same but so different."

"It's been a long time. How are the kids finding it? Bored already?"

"Surprisingly not. The twins showed Mom and Dad a list of things they put together before coming here. Everything that they want to do in these two weeks. And guess what?"

"What?"

"Mom and Dad are very okay with it. I can't believe it. They actually started planning what they want to do in the next 2-3 days. These are not the parents I grew up with, Satoru," Suguru says.

There is some silence before Satoru speaks.

"I guess they aren't, Suguru. I think parents and grandparents are two different concepts, existing on different planes altogether. Don't ask me how I know this. I don't think I've ever existed in the same plane as my parents or grandparents."

At that moment, Suguru feels guilty for even complaining. It's not as though Satoru has expressed any regrets about not knowing or having no sort of attachment to his family. But complaining about something Satoru can never relate to, about something Satoru wasn't even given a chance to experience…it feels a little cruel, even if it wasn't his intention.

"Hey, don't put so much pressure on your pretty little brain. You don't have to worry about me, okay?" Satoru says, knowing right away about the turmoil Suguru's facing. "What you feel towards them is valid. Your mother hurt you deeply, and she's probably overcompensating by trying to earn the love from a heart she hasn't broken before. Or…yet."

Suguru is stumped by Satoru's words. Not because they are wrong. No, in fact, they hit the bull's eye.

Trust Satoru to know his heart.

"When did you become so emotionally intelligent? Leave some work to the rest of us," Suguru says, sniffling.

"I actually might. Can't be the strongest and the most emotionally intelligent by myself, can I?" Satoru says, his tone lighter and more cheerful. Just the way Suguru likes it.

"Of course not. I'm here to share all your burdens, make your shoulders feel light. Heavy is the head that wears the crown," Suguru says playfully.

"Heavy is my dick that hasn't seen you in three days, Suguruuuu!"

Suguru bursts out laughing and goes on until he's in tears. Satoru seems to be laughing on the other side, too.

"Alright, now that wifey is laughing, I think it's time to go back to duty. You'll be okay?"

"Hm, yes. Love you, Satoru," Suguru says, changing the phone to the other ear.

"Ah, my day has been made, officially. Should I just tell them to fuck themselves and come back to Japan right away?"

"As much as I wish you could be here, no. I don't want the higher-ups to have another reason to hate me, thank you very much."

"Fine, fine, love you too, baby. I'll call you after dinner."

"Okay. Bye," Suguru says and hangs up. He looks at his wallpaper. It's a photo of Satoru kissing a sulking, pouty Natsuki, still in his uniform, as he clings to his Daddy like the cute monkey (not the derogatory one) while Ruriko looks straight at the camera. Ruriko will always seek him, no matter who's holding her. Just completely obsessed with Mama. Suguru feels very vindicated, considering Natsuki is such a Daddy's princess.

He goes back inside and heads upstairs, being as quiet as he can as he lies down on the futon next to the bed Ruriko and Natsuki are sleeping on. He doesn't sleep right away, replaying memories of a time in his life that feels as though he lived it lifetimes ago.

He knows that the next few days aren't going to be easy. It will be harder to survive it all without his rock by his side, his Satoru.

But Suguru needs to do this for himself. Maybe this is the much-needed closure that he needs. Maybe his kids will get bored in two days and ask to go back home. Who knows?

Only time can tell.

_____

The children settle into Hiezu far more easily than Suguru had expected. Within two days, it is as though they have always belonged there.

Satomi and Natsuki quickly attached themselves to their grandfather. Every morning, they could be found sitting across from him at the low table, a shogi board spread between them. Takashi taught Satomi and Natsuki many tricks and patiently corrected them when they made a wrong move.

When Suguru was younger, Takashi never had time to play with him. Maybe when he was much younger, sure. But Getou Takashi was an old-fashioned, simple-minded beta from a rural family. He didn't know how to entertain an omega child. He didn't realise that children are all the same. Years of conditioning made him believe that alphas, betas and omegas are all raised differently. And when Suguru started showing signs of emotional and mental distress at the age of five, for reasons that were unknown to him at that time, he withdrew, simply because it was easier. He drowned himself in work, not wanting to worry too much about the child they had so badly wanted. It hurt too much to think that he must be sick with something—perhaps something no one can help him with.

Suguru can't say that the bond between him and his father broke, because it never even existed in the first place. That is why it doesn't hurt too much to see him behave so differently with Satomi and Natsuki.

Ruriko, meanwhile, rarely strays far from Suguru. Being the youngest, she is still cautious in unfamiliar places, and while she accepts her grandparents readily enough, she prefers observing them from the safety of her Mama’s lap.

The twins, however, are another matter entirely. Haruka and Fuyumi take to Sachiko almost immediately.

They follow her through the garden each morning, learning the names of flowers and vegetables Suguru himself had long forgotten. They listen attentively as Sachiko explains which local fruits were in season and which regional dishes people in the district took particular pride in. By the third day, they had somehow convinced her to teach them how to prepare several local recipes.

Sachiko always laughs when the girls are around, and Suguru can't ignore the way it makes her look at least a decade younger when she does.

He can't ignore the way Satomi's laugh resembles Sachiko's, just like Suguru's does. And the twins have the same dimples that Sachiko gets when she smiles. Her eye colour is the same as the twins', a darker shade of brown. Natsuki plays coy just like Sachiko does when she wants things to get done.

He has been running away from his mother all these years, but she has been right there, hasn't she? In his face. In the face of his daughters. In his children's mannerisms.

In his own mannerisms.

_____

On their fourth day in Hiezu, Haruka and Fuyumi come to their room after lunch. They have been noticing that every interaction between Mom and Grandma has some tension and awkwardness sandwiched somewhere in it.

"I think we should take them out together."

"I don't know, Fuyumi-chan. What if Mom gets tired of being around monkeys? I think we've already pushed his limits by bringing him here." Haruka says, thinking about how grumpy and impatient their Mom can be when it comes to non-sorcerers.

"But they can reminisce about old times! Remember, Mom said he used to accompany his mother to the weekly market at the square when he was younger. We can all go together—Grandma, Mom and the two of us to mediate if things get awkward!"

"Hmm, maybe. But if that doesn't work, we'll work on my idea. Food is always a good idea."

"Fine. But we only have around ten days to patch them up. Fewer if Papa and Satoshi nii-chan come back. They'll hoard all his attention once he's back, and then Mom would have no time or energy to deal with Grandma."

Haruka whistles softly as she lies on the floor and looks up at the ceiling. "I guess. I don't know, I'm just having second thoughts about all this. It's been twenty years of no contact, Fuyumi. You think we can fix it in a week?"

Their mother's childhood has always been a mystery to all of them. Sure, Suguru would divulge some things now and then about the better parts of his time in Hiezu, but other than that, nobody knew much. He never talked much about his parents—his mother, to be specific. And it always left Haruka curious, even though she knew it was better not to press too much. Mom would tell them whatever he was comfortable saying.

But Fuyumi is usually of the opinion that Mom not explaining his past is making it worse, especially with Satomi. From what they can deduce, most of the problems Suguru and Satomi have mirror the ones that Suguru has with his mother. There's a lot of unresolved business there.

"We can start somewhere? It's the least we can do after going behind Mom's back to write a letter to our grandmother."

Haruka bites her lip. Fuyumi seems more certain than her, but the two of them have always done everything together, so Haruka decides to go with what her twin sister is planning to do. All she can hope is that they don't make it worse.

_____

Before they can plan the idea of going to the weekly market, Takashi decides that they have to go to the observation deck in the mountains, a thirty-to forty-minute drive away. The whole family decides to tag along, though, much to Haruka and Fuyumi's annoyance.

"Natsu-chan, since when did you start liking the mountains? Now, you're going to get all motion-sick, you know?" Fuyumi says, huffing. Natsuki loves attention, and the minute he sees the mountains, he's going to start getting sick and ruin the vibes. The twins still remember going to the Alps for a family vacation, and instead of the playlist they had curated, all they heard was Natsuki whining and cribbing. They stopped six times!

"I won't!" Natsuki protests.

"You would! Mom, why can't we just let him stay home with Ne-chan and Ruriko?" Fuyumi asks, to which their Mom raises a brow.

"Be nice to your younger brother, Fuyumi. We shouldn't exclude anyone, right?" He asks in a distracted tone while he checks his bag to see if he has everything.

Natsuki sticks his tongue out at Haruka and Fuyumi. He has been getting bored in the countryside home, and he's ready to do anything for some excitement. Satomi wants to get out some of her built-up energy, too, so she said she would like to check out the hiking trail.

Haruka and Fuyumi couldn't really put up much of a fight after that.

They sit in the van, pouting and glaring at their younger brother, who isn't bothered at all. He sits next to Mom, cuddling up with him and showing Ruriko some picture books.

"Suguru used to love going to the observation deck," Takashi says, rather unexpectedly. "Every spring, we would go to the mountain in the morning and eat the lunch prepared by Sachiko. Do you remember, Suguru?"

Everyone looks at Suguru, who smiles and nods, not offering much in response.

"We went until he was around thirteen, or maybe fourteen. He got lost, and when Sachiko found him and the two of them came back, they were as pale as ghosts. We never went to the observation deck after that…" Takashi trails off, as if he realised that this anecdote was probably not the best one to bring up when they were actually going to the deck he just brought up.

"Come on, it's not that scary. It's not scary at all, kids," Sachiko says, awkwardly laughing it off as she gives her husband a look.

Fuyumi looks at her sister, and both of them don't really have to say anything to each other to know that the other finds it as suspicious as they themselves do.

"Eh, we're not really scared of ghosts here," Satomi says, "And Mom wasn't either, right? You were already thirteen, I thought you stopped being scared long back?" Satomi asks, but Suguru doesn't say anything. When Satomi doesn't get a response, she looks at her Mom's hands.

Suguru is picking his cuticles and getting a little aggressive with it every few seconds. When Satomi looks up, she sees Sachiko looking at Suguru, her glance heavy with worry…and guilt.

Fuyumi and Haruka pick up on the tension too and look at their older sister for guidance. However, it's not lost on any of the siblings that it would have been more helpful to have their father or older brother here, who always know how to pull Mom out of tiny spirals he slips into.

"Uh, anyway. We're not scared of ghosts here. In fact, if anything, they would be scared of our chaos," Satomi says and laughs. The twins join her, and so does Natsuki, while their grandfather looks puzzled but doesn't say anything.

The rest of the ride is mostly quiet with a few remarks on the scenery, but all three girls know that something transpired there. There is something that happened on Suguru's last visit to the mountains that changed things.

And maybe, a lot of Suguru's problems led to that one moment that changed it all.

_____

The view from the Kagikake Observation Deck is breathtaking. The mountain air feels cleaner up here, cooler too. The late afternoon sun has painted everything in shades of gold and green, stretching endlessly across the countryside below.

Suguru leans against the railing, showing Natsuki and Ruriko the view while holding on to her tightly. The breeze brushes against their faces like a gentle caress, and Suguru can't help but feel young again. He missed this place and wishes that it wasn't tainted by a bad memory that ruined everything.

"Are you okay now, sweetheart?" Suguru asks Natsuki, who's resting his head against Suguru's arm.

"Hmm," he says, and Suguru smiles, patting him on the head.

"Missing Daddy?"

"A little. He'd have scolded Fuyumi and Haruka for teasing me," Natsuki says, pouting.

Suguru rolls his eyes. Satoru never seriously scolds the girls anyway. He's just blatantly biased towards the omegas in their family, and Suguru can't really complain much when he gets away with the most.

"How about you call him? Maybe show him the view if he's not busy and picks up your call?" Suguru suggests, and Natsuki cheers up immediately, taking his phone out. He calls Satoru, who picks up after a few rings.

"Hi Princess, what's up?" Satoru's voice rings out, and Suguru can't help but look for him right away. Satoru seems to notice him in the background and waves at him, to which he waves back with a smile.

Satoru is dressed in his mission uniform, and Suguru mouths an 'Are you busy?' to which Satoru simply blinks in response, as if to reassure him that it's all okay. Suguru shakes his head. Gojo Natsuki is going to be the most spoiled child ever, and one day, Satoru will know.

Natsuki goes on to show Satoru around and even points the camera at his grandparents. They great each other awkwardly, and Suguru snorts, amused.

"That's one way to meet your in-laws," Satomi says as she joins Suguru and Ruriko. Suguru chuckles and looks at Satomi staring out at the horizon, her light hair whipping around her face as the wind picks up. There is something familiar about the sight that made his chest ache.

Sometimes, looking at her feels like looking at a version of himself and the biggest fear in his life was for her to face the same fate as his. Bringing her to this world was the hardest thing he had ever done, but she was the greatest gift he could get after all those hours of mind-numbing pain. And yet, he thanked her by dooming her on Day One. He continued to ruin her life by passing down his godforsaken technique to her.

"You're going for the hike?"

"Yeah, in a bit," Satomi says, still looking at the view.

"Just…be careful, won't you?" Suguru says, like he always does, even though every part of him warns him against it. He can't help it. Especially not after being reminded of what happened the last time he came here and used the technique he had been cursed to live with.

Of course, just like Suguru had expected, Satomi's expression changed immediately. The calm is gone, and irritation comes off in waves, just like the bitter scent that she still hasn't learned how to control. It reminds Suguru just how young she still is. She is an untrained pup who still has much to learn about the world, and try as Suguru might to protect her, he might not be able to stop her from doing what she is determined to do.

And she has always been determined to do exactly the opposite of what Suguru wants her to do.

"About what?"

"You know what, Satomi," Suguru says softly. "I know you will feel tempted to use your technique here if you come across curses. Just be careful, that's all."

"Careful? You mean, not use it, don't you?" Satomi asks, throwing her hands up in the air in irritation. Suguru happens to look at Sachiko, who seems to have already been looking at the two of them, possibly coming to a conclusion of her own.

Suguru tightens his fist, digging his nails into his palms. He needs to stay composed and not get worked up. He isn't his mother. Satomi isn't him.

But why? Why can't he stop imagining Satomi in his own place?

Suguru follows the shoeprints, still fresh and slightly distorted in the loose mud. He knows that she must be somewhere around. She couldn't have gone too far.

"Satomi? Where are you? Mom is worried for you!"

Suguru's voice echoes back at him, and his heart picks up pace, thudding loudly in his chest. His anxiety threatens to paralyse him and sink him in the same mud where Satomi left behind her shoeprints.

"Satomi, dear, you're really scaring me! Where are you?"

Suguru keeps venturing deeper into the woods, worriedly looking up at the canopy of trees that swallow him up slowly, blocking out the sunlight from penetrating through the thick branches. The thought of his child lost in here, possibly hurt and petrified, sends a chill down his spine. How could he have let her get out of his sight?

Satomi has only been the safest and probably the happiest in his womb. The minute she came out, Suguru doomed her into—

Suguru sees a figure crouched on the ground, trembling like a leaf. As he moves forward, he sees that it is indeed a child.

A t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

Bleeding knees and scraped elbows.

Shoes stained with mud.

Dark, ink-black hair.

Wait, that's not…that's not Satomi.

"Suguru…" a word escapes his lips, but the voice isn't his own.

He looks down at himself, but when he blinks, he finds himself crouched on the ground. He's holding an orb the size of his palm. And every instinct of his screams at him to bring it up to his mouth and swallow it. The longer he stares at the orb, doing nothing, the louder the voices in his head get. His body rejects it, but his mind prepares him for what he's about to do.

Absorb curses. Contain his disgust. Suppress his pain.

Scrunching his eyes shut, he lets his instinct guide the orb to his mouth. He needs to do it. Not for himself but for the poor dog that got caught in the killing spree that the curse went on. A wave of nausea hits him again, and Suguru doesn't know if it's the image of the dog's corpse or the anticipation of ingesting the cursed orb causing it.

His jaw is predisposed to open wide and swallow the ball. The fact doesn't bring him relief, though. This is something he is destined to do in life. When he was in his mother's womb, he had already started taking this form, this hideous disposition. His essence preceded his existence.

Tears escape his eyes at how hard he's pushing himself to ingest the curse. He covers his mouth with a hand over the other, as if to push the orb down and stop himself from throwing it back up. He folds in on himself, slapping a hand onto the ground below, his fingers digging into the earth. He keeps dry heaving for a few moments there while the curse joins the other ones that he has been housing all these years, a decent collection of about thirty.

Thirty times of having done this, and he still can't get used to the abhorrent taste and the sensations.

"S-Suguru? What have you done?!"

Suguru falls to the ground in shock at the sudden scream, and when he looks up, he sees a familiar silhouette.

"Did you…Did you kill the poor dog? Suguru!"

"N-no, I didn't. I swear I didn't. Mom, believe me, I came here, and it was already dead. I fought the curse, and I swallowed—"

Sachiko covers her ears and shakes her head, refusing to hear what he's trying to tell her. She had already come to her conclusions and isn't in a state to hear Suguru's justifications. All she knows is that she just saw her son, the child that she birthed. She had prayed to every deity she could think of, gone to so many doctors and clinics, tried so many treatments, only to birth a creature that does something so atrocious, she can't even bring herself to think of it again.

"…And how many times do I have to tell you? Wormie houses all the curses that I catch. I don't have to do anything other than fight and tame them. Why can't you understand?"

The crack in Satomi's voice brings Suguru out of the memories he had buried decades ago. He has to close his eyes to keep his tears at bay. He's not thirteen-year-old Suguru anymore, grossly misunderstood and even feared. He's also not his mother, who doesn't understand her child. In front of him is Satomi, who fought all odds to even continue to live. Even without Suguru's touch and scent in her initial days, she has grown up to be a brave, beautiful young lady who continues to prove herself every single day.

She even goes so far as to defy him to embrace her true self, something Suguru still can't do, even at thirty-six.

"I'm sorry," Suguru whispers. Satomi immediately stops speaking, her eyes wide, her mouth still open. Her arms that had been all up in the air, trying to make a case of herself (Satomi has always been so expressive, it's heartwarming), and now, her arms drop to the side and she looks so lost and defeated, as if she doesn't know how to navigate a conversation where her Mom is the first to throw the towel, without her father or her brother's interference.

"You're much more capable than I was at your age. I'm sorry, I shouldn't underestimate you," Suguru says, smiling weakly as he rubs her arm. "Go, and be careful. Be back in one piece."

Satomi is still stunned and can only manage to give him a weak nod.

"I trust you, Satomi," Suguru says, his own voice breaking. He purses his lips and gives a final nod before looking away. He feels significantly lighter now that he has said that. He hopes Satomi knows that Suguru will never look at her like his Mom had looked at him back then. He would never see Satomi as the loathsome beast that his mother thought he was, just because he was employing a technique he was born with. Sure, he'll always fear for her safety and her well-being, but he won't hate her for being herself.

"Um…thank you," Satomi says, clearing her throat. Her mouth opens and closes a couple of times, as if she's trying to say something but thought she'd be better off not saying it. Suguru smiles to himself, feeling fond all over again. Satomi reminds him of the Satoru he had met in the first year, too brutish and arrogant to say what he really felt. Sure, he had been an aggravating little shit, just like Satomi is. But Suguru only look back at that Satoru with deep fondness, just like he does with Satomi.

"Go now, and be back before it's dark, okay? You promised Natsu-chan that you'd play shogi with him."

Satomi finally breaks out in a grin as she adjusts the straps of her backpack. "Of course, Gojo Satomi never breaks her promises. Just like I never lose bets. I placed a bet with Satoshi and told him I would catch at least ten curses in these two weeks. Ha!"

Suguru chuckles as she watches Satomi wave goodbye to everyone before disappearing down the path that leads to the trail. Suguru sighs as soon as she's out of his sight.

Today's conversation will not undo years of misunderstandings between them, but it's a start. Maybe, one day, they will start seeing each other for who they really are—deeply flawed humans with good intentions. Or at least, he hopes Satomi will see him that way, after all, even if flawed, Satomi is the product of her circumstances, and Suguru created most of those circumstances.

Suguru sees the twins talking to their grandparents, and all four of them were leaning forward to look at something in Fuyumi's palm. Frowning, Suguru approaches them to see what they are talking about.

It's a beetle.

"Fuyumi!"

"Mom, it won't hurt me, don't worry! Look, it's so beautiful!" Fuyumi says, thrusting her palm in his direction to show her catch. But Suguru isn't looking at her. He's looking at his mother, who doesn't look particularly bothered.

Oh?

Suguru remembers being ten, catching bugs and insects of all kinds and bringing them home. He remembers being excited to show his mother his finds and rattle off facts about the tiny creatures he found. His mother always released them back in the wild, but not before scolding him.

"It's unbecoming of omegas to engage in such wild, feral behaviour."

"Why can't you get hobbies that don't have you all sweating and your nice clothes all dirty and wrinkled?"

"Is any of this worth scraping your knees and getting dirt and grease all over your face?"

And now, there's not a peep. Both Sachiko and Takashi look at their granddaughters affectionately, even curious to know what they know about the beetles. They don't say anything about how this isn't the right hobby for pretty little omegas. Or that they shouldn't be this wild and feral.

Ah, Satoru was right.

"I think parents and grandparents are two different concepts, existing on different planes altogether."

Knowing that doesn't hurt any less, though.

_____

The next morning, Suguru wakes before everyone else. For a brief, blissful moment, he forgets where he is.

Then he hears the familiar creak of old floorboards, smells the scent of tea drifting from the kitchen, and remembers.

Hiezu.

Suguru stares at the ceiling for a few seconds, contemplating whether he can somehow wake one of the children and drag them downstairs as a buffer. Satomi would immediately see through him. Haruka and Fuyumi would happily abandon him to his fate. Natsuki would complain about being awake. Ruriko is lovely and unfortunately still a baby, so she's not going to be useful to Mama.

There is going to be no escape today.

By the time he reaches the kitchen, Sachiko is already seated at the table with a cup of tea in front of her. Morning sunlight filters through the window behind her, illuminating the familiar shape of her profile.

For a moment, Suguru is struck by how much older she looks.

Twenty years is a long time.

"We're the only ones who are up early," she says, smiling.

Suguru hums as he pours himself some tea and sits across from her.

The silence that follows is a little awkward. But it's not because they have nothing to talk about. The silence is packed with twenty years’ worth of conversations neither of them knows how to begin.

Eventually, Sachiko breaks first.

"The children are lovely."

Suguru snorts softly into his cup.

"They’re a handful."

“That they are," Sachiko says, and the amusement in her voice makes him smile despite himself. "Especially the twins. They remind me so much of you."

Suguru nearly chokes on his tea. "No, they don’t. I mean, I'm sure there are some similarities because they are my children, but Mom, those two are impossible."

Sachiko laughs. "They even wrote to me, knowing they would make you mad, hmm?"

Suguru sighs and doesn't say anything to that, because his mother is right. He was mad. Very mad, actually.

"But they did it out of good intentions. And that's why they're just like you. They aren't mean-spirited in their mischief."

Oh, how Suguru would have loved to hear his mother say that when he was thirteen, swallowing a cursed orb because it killed a dog in the woods. Sachiko hadn't immediately deemed him innocent. Suguru had to fight his case.

Anyway, Sachiko continues as though this is the most obvious thing in the world.

"They collect strange facts and then recite them at random moments. They spend hours discussing topics nobody else cares about. They become completely absorbed in whatever catches their interest. They ask questions that make no sense to anyone except themselves."

She smiles into her tea. "Yesterday, Haruka-chan spent fifteen minutes explaining how modern trains work to your father. Apparently, the twins were reading about it in the train."

Suguru groans. "A new hyper-fixation, then. Satoru is going to buy them so many miniatures and clutter up their already cluttered bedroom," Suguru says, shaking his head.

"They’re delightful," Sachiko says, and Suguru falls silent, while Sachiko studies him over the rim of her cup.

"They remind me of you." She says, and her smile grows. "When you were ten, you spent three months memorising train schedules for prefectures you had never visited. When you were going to Tokyo, you had spent so many days at the bookshop, reading all about Tokyo."

Suguru feels his face grow warm. "That was different."

"Was it?"

"I was curious," Suguru mumbles.

"So are they, I suppose."

He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out, because unfortunately, she’s right.

He remembers the long afternoons spent reading whatever books he could find and falling into obsessions so intense that he forgot meals. He used to talk endlessly about subjects that fascinated him, being unable to understand why other people weren’t equally interested.

The twins do all of those things, and a realisation begins settling uncomfortably inside him.

"The girls remind me of you because they look at the world the same way," she says, and the amusement fades from her voice, replaced by something gentler. "They notice things other people don’t."

Suguru lowers his gaze.

"They can be a little unsettling sometimes," he says, in agreement.

"When you were younger, I used to worry about that."

Suguru stills, and the cup he's holding feels heavier than a rock. The taste of the tea he just drank feels bitter, too. He sets the cup down slowly and prepares himself for where the conversation is heading.

"I worried people would judge you, that they would be cruel," she says, and her words sound regretful. "I worried that if you stood out too much, people would say things."

"They did anyway," Suguru says as he lets out a short laugh.

"True. I just…I spent so much time trying to make you fit. To make you softer and easier."

Softer and easier to love. To mould him into something more acceptable.

And yet, Satoru accepted and loved him just the way he was. Even at his worst.

"And you know what I noticed this week?"

Suguru looks up.

"What?"

"Your children don’t apologise for being themselves. They don’t hide the things that make them different."

And doesn't Suguru know that? Haruka and Fuyumi speak endlessly about their interests. Satomi asks questions nobody else would ask. Satoshi and Natsuki openly seek affection not only from their parents but also from their siblings without embarrassment. Ruriko, even when so young, has no inhibitions. They all live and love freely. They don't spend their days trying to become smaller.

And suddenly Suguru understands what she’s saying.

What she’s been trying to say.

Sachiko looks toward the staircase that leads to the rooms where her grandchildren are still sleeping.

"They are allowed to be strange. I know that they have…similar powers like you and your husband do. But the difference is that they are allowed to be exactly who they are. I look at Natsuki, who is so much like you when it comes to looks and mannerisms, but he's a little different from his siblings. Less outdoorsy, a little bit spoiled too," she says, chuckling. Suguru joins in laughing too, but his smile fades away right after. He stares at the empty cup of tea in front of him, fiddling with the handle to keep himself from picking his cuticles. This conversation is making everything feel too real.

"I’m happy, Suguru," Sachiko says, and it's Suguru's throat that tightens. Still, he dares to ask:

"About what?"

"That you found people who do what I couldn’t."

And Sachiko doesn't elaborate further on that because they both know exactly what she means.

Satoru doesn’t try to make the children smaller. Neither does Suguru, despite all his worrying. They let the children be complicated, odd and difficult. Hell, even Suguru is all that at times. But it didn't make Satoru or the kids love him any less.

Those were the very things Suguru had once been. Things his parents hadn’t always known how to handle.

Sachiko reaches across the table and squeezes his hand.

"I was afraid all the time," she says, and Suguru looks down at their joined hands.

"I know," Suguru says, but he hears the voice of his thirteen-year-old self.

"I wanted to protect you."

The irony is almost enough to make him laugh, because that is exactly what he tells Satomi whenever she accuses him of hovering.

"I don’t think I always succeeded."

For once, Suguru doesn’t argue, and he doesn’t reassure her either. He doesn’t tell her it wasn’t her fault.

In the course of the last four days, Suguru has had many realisations, but one remains the most poignant.

He had always been looking for love and belonging in the wrong places. He finally found them in Satoru and his friends at Jujutsu High. And his children. Hiezu is a chapter in his life that he needs to make peace with and move past, maybe try to look back with more fondness than bitterness, if not to forgive his parents, but to be kinder to the younger Suguru.

.

.

.

.

.

Later that night, after dinner, Suguru goes upstairs before anyone does and opens his wardrobe, kneeling down to reach for the gap between the quilts and rolled-up futons and the wall to see if it's still there.

The photo frame that he had hidden there twenty years ago.

He pats around until his ring-clad finger taps against something solid. He pulls it out and coughs when the dust hits his face. He covers his nose as he wipes it down with a wet tissue, finally revealing the photograph of a young Suguru with his mother.

Suguru brushes his fingers over the face of his younger self before flipping over the photo frame and taking out the photo. He reaches for something in his pocket—an envelope.

Earlier that day, Suguru had gotten a print of a candid photo that he had clicked of his parents with the children.

He stands up and looks at the previously empty space, which used to be occupied by the photo frame he's currently holding. At some point in the last twenty years, they must have taken the nail off the wall and painted over it. Suguru hadn't noticed at all.

Having no choice, Suguru places the frame on his desk, right beside the lamp.

He opens the drawer and sees the letter and the photograph that his mother had sent him. He had put them in there on the first day itself because he didn't want to be weighed down by guilt anymore.

Now, though, he finds that there is not as much guilt as there were unresolved conflicts. Unsaid words.

Maybe his childhood doesn't have to be tainted by the bad memories that he always dwells upon. Maybe, the Suguru in this photo—about three or four years old, untouched by society's expectations—deserves to be remembered with more happiness.

Suguru picks up the faded photograph and holds it between his fingers, careful not to wrinkle it any more. He then puts it back in his wallet before closing the door behind him and joining the others downstairs.

_____

The next few days are mostly uneventful—or well, as uneventful as it could be with these hellmakers.

Two days before they are supposed to leave, they get a surprise, one that makes Suguru almost scream in joy—in his head, of course.

"I missed you so much, baby," Satoru says, kissing him all over the face before burying his face in Suguru's neck to inhale his scent. Suguru doesn't even care that Satoru is doing all this when his parents are still around. He has a loving husband and is proud of it.

"I missed you, too, baby. How are you?" Suguru asks, carding his fingers through Satoru's hair. His undercut has now grown. When they go home, Suguru will trim it for him.

"Dad, stop hogging Mom!" Satoshi says, pulling his Dad away and hugging Suguru instead. Satoru lets out an outraged noise while Suguru giggles, patting his son's back. Satoshi towers over him now, but when he hugs Suguru, all Suguru can see is the little Satoshi who loved to snuggle with Mama in his nest.

"Come on, the two of you. I'm big enough to hug both of you," Suguru says, letting Satoru into the hug too. He sees both Satoru and Satoshi poking each other and can't stop himself from laughing and fondly scolding the two.

"There we go. Hi Oedipus," Satomi tells Satoshi, to which Satoru barks out a laugh.

"Hi MILF-Hunter," Satoshi says dryly as he lets go of Suguru to grab Satomi by the neck. They are always rough-housing with each other, so Suguru doesn't mind it too much. Even the way they tease each other…rather crudely, it is something that Suguru has given up on getting them to stop.

"Alright, let's head inside," Suguru says and is flanked by his husband and his oldest as they go to the living room, where everybody's waiting for them.

As soon as they slide the door open, Natsuki sets his eyes on his Daddy and his older brother and runs to them. Suguru moves away while Satoru and Satoshi catch him in time to babysit the princess of the family. Natsuki stays in Satoru's arms even when Suguru tells him that Satoru has to greet Suguru's parents.

Both Takashi and Sachiko get up to greet their son-in-law and their oldest grandchild. Satoru bows respectfully, while still holding Natsuki in his arms. He even shoots Suguru a wink right after.

God, Satoru can be so effortlessly hot, Suguru thinks to himself, feeling a little warm under his kimono.

"We are glad you could make it," Sachiko says while Takashi grunts in agreement. Satoru nods and raises a brow, looking at his father-in-law and then shifting his gaze to Suguru, who just shrugs. Power dynamics are a little strange here, considering that Takashi is the only beta here and is, according to tradition, vastly overpowered by his son-in-law and his two older grandchildren. Suguru can see that Satoru is amused.

Satoshi, of course, quickly becomes a favourite. He has always been the most charming one in the family, even more than Suguru, who had a mean streak that made itself known once in a while.

Haruka and Fuyumi announce that they helped their grandmother make their Mom's favourite dishes for lunch.

"Girls, you didn't have to…" Suguru says, patting their heads. The girls lean into his touch and hug him from both sides. Suguru holds them close, finding himself unable to say much, too overcome with emotions as he is. He meets Satoru's gaze, who is looking at the three of them with so much love and fondness that Suguru's eyes fill up with tears.

"Girls, won't you feed your starving father? I haven't had good, home-cooked food in two weeks!" Satoru says when he notices how overwhelmed Suguru feels.

Suguru mouths a 'thank you' to his husband, who simply responds with a smile. They don't have to say much to let the other know how they feel after all these years of togetherness. It's in these little gestures that Suguru can see their love.

"Dad, you were staying at a five-star hotel and ate at Michelin-star restaurants, but okay," Satomi says.

"Nothing can match what my girls can make, right?" Satoru says, and the girls giggle to themselves and follow their grandmother to the kitchen while everyone catches up. Satoru and Satoshi talk about their work trips, and Suguru listens intently, all the while grazing his thumb against Satoru's hand.

There is a moment where Suguru catches Sachiko looking at them, and when she realises that she's being watched, she diverts her gaze with a smile. Suguru doesn't know what to make of it, and frankly, he doesn't really care what she thinks of him and Satoru. At thirty-six, he has become much more thick-skinned. It's still a work-in-progress, though. It's not within Suguru's nature not to G.A.F, like Satomi puts it.

Oh, well.

_____

In the evening, Suguru sneaks out with Satoru for some time alone and away from everyone.

"Looking at you, I feel like you have some pretty bad intentions. Woe is me! What about my reputation?" Satoru says, pretending to look around in fear.

"Everyone in the village already knows that Getou Suguru had been knocked up at seventeen and has six children. Our reputation can't get any worse than this," Suguru says, resting his head on Satoru's shoulder as they continue their stroll.

"Hmm, you have a point there. Don't you feel that there's some freedom in knowing that we've already been through the worst?" Satoru asks, to which Suguru hums.

But before he can say more, something catches his attention, and he drags Satoru along with him as they enter an old bookshop that Suguru used to frequent as a child. He remembers spending many hours here after his first heat. He had stopped playing with the alphas in his neighbourhood after he overheard them talking about his body in a rather distasteful manner.

"Wow, look at you, Suguru. Aren't you rather shameless, dragging an alpha into a dark corner?" Satoru asks, not even bothering to hide his mirth.

"I have a rich, handsome alpha in my grasp. Can't not take advantage. They don't call me a gold digger and a social climber for nothing in that clan of yours," Suguru says and greets the shopkeeper, a beta that he doesn't recognise. It's been many years, so he doesn't expect to see the lady who used to let him stay for hours without complaints.

"Who cares about what they think? Anyway, it's our clan now, Suguru. You're as much Gojo as I am. We have single-handedly repopulated the Gojo clan and saved it from going extinct for a few more generations."

Suguru throws his head back as he laughs at what Satoru said.

"Okay, so let me see if it's still there," Suguru says, going to the History section and tracing his fingers along the wooden frame of the shelves.

"What are you looking for?" Satoru asks. "Ah, is this where nerdy little Suguru spent most of his time?"

Suguru rolls his eyes and doesn't pay too much heed to Satoru's comment. He knows and remembers all too well how nerdy and dorky Satoru used to be.

Still is.

"Here it is!" Suguru says, pointing the flashlight of his phone at a carving on the old bookshelf. Below the section of the history of Heian-era Japan is a carving of the first character of his name.

夏

"My goody two-shoes Suguru engaging in vandalism? How scandalous!" Satoru teases, and Suguru playfully pushes him away as he takes the house keys out of his pocket. He looks around twice before inching closer and adding something to the left of the character already carved into the wood. Satoru doesn't say anything. He simply rests his head against the shelf while watching Suguru engage in minor vandalism.

Suguru adds the character '五'.

When he's done, he looks at Satoru, who has not taken his eyes off Suguru all this time.

"What are you looking at?" He asks, joining Satoru on the floor.

"You look happier, Suguru," Satoru says, bringing their heads close until they are leaning against each other. "Satomi and the twins seemed to be pretty chippy, too."

Suguru chuckles and grabs Satoru's hand, intertwining their fingers together.

"Just realised some things, that's all. Natsu-chan doesn't share our sentiments, though. He's a city boy, just like you," Suguru says.

"I'm afraid Natsu-chan is a little soft and pampered," Satoru finally admits.

"Honestly, both Natsuki and I are," Suguru says, and Satoru bursts out in laughter.

"I have spoiled both my princesses, huh?"

"Very much so. I have been counting down the days, and I have been looking forward to seeing the airport."

"Our country bumpkin Suguru is now a city boy, huh?"

"I guess you have just made me get used to the finer things in life. I'm not complaining, though. I have to keep up if I'm the Gojo clan wife, no?" Suguru plays along, watching Satoru get up. When the alpha offers his hand, Suguru takes it and lets Satoru pull him up.

But what he doesn't expect is Satoru pulling him up and wrapping his arms around Suguru's waist before pinning him to one of the shelves that rattle with Satoru's force. Suguru slaps him on the arm to reprimand him, but Satoru simply laughs.

"All you need to do is keep up with me, Suguru. And you do a pretty great job at that already."

"Why, thank you," Suguru says, wrapping his arms around Satoru's neck. Feeling the alpha's warm breath and his comforting scent, Suguru closes his eyes, letting Satoru close the distance between them with a kiss. They stay like that for a while, kissing in the History aisle, occasionally bursting into a fit of giggles at the sheer silliness of it all. Doing this in their late thirties is something, alright.

They finally separate when Suguru hears footsteps. And when Suguru looks up after fixing his clothes, he catches Satoru tracing his thumb along his lips, which look a little swollen after their little makeout session. If they are caught sneaking back into the house, there's no mistaking what they were really up to.

Satoru crouches down to look at the carving before they leave and asks Suguru for the keys. Suguru hands them to him without question and watches Satoru as he adds something next to the characters Suguru left behind.

When he's done, Suguru bends down to take a look.

五夏♡

"This is why the elders say I've bewitched you. To be specific, 'the wicked vixen that bewitched you', right?" Suguru says when Satoru stands up straight.

"I remember getting a boner thinking of wicked vixen Suguru bewitching me, heart and soul," Satoru says, pulling him close.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Suguru says, grinning into the kiss.

~~~~~

CODA.

The next day, their flight is scheduled for late in the afternoon. Suguru had already made sure every bag was packed the night before. Experience had taught him that trying to get six children to pack on the morning of a trip was the quickest way to ruin everybody’s mood—his most of all.

Satoshi and Satomi had disappeared the previous evening to catch up after two weeks apart. Apparently, that conversation had eventually led them all the way to the shoreline, because the moment they returned, they announced that everyone simply had to see it together before they left.

Which is why Suguru finds himself standing on a quiet beach far earlier than he would have preferred.

"We’re facing west right now,” Satoru says, stretching dramatically. "So if you dragged us out here to watch the sunrise, I’m afraid I’ll have to ask for a refund on all those school fees."

"Haha. So funny, Dad."

"I know."

"I just thought it looked cool," Satoshi continues. "And I wanted everyone to see it before we leave. Including this sleepyhead. Natsu, wake up."

Natsuki, still wearing his pajama top beneath his jacket, lets out a displeased sound and buries his face deeper into Satoshi’s shoulder.

"I am awake."

"You’re literally asleep."

"I can do both."

"That’s not how it works."

Suguru smiles to himself and lets the familiar bickering fade into the background.

The sea is beautiful this morning, and the sky is painted in gold. Gentle waves roll onto the shore before retreating again, leaving rippling patterns in the wet sand.

A little further ahead, Haruka and Fuyumi have already wandered toward the water, and Suguru follows, partly because someone should probably supervise them, partly because there is something he has been meaning to say.

"Fuyumi, Haruka," Suguru says, resting his hands on the girls' shoulders.

"Mom! Look, the water is so clear," Haruka says, wiggling her toes. Suguru hums and joins them in wiggling their toes and laughing at the tickling sensation of the sand brushing past their feet with every wave that recedes to the shore.

"Girls, thank you," Suguru says, squeezing their shoulders before bending down to kiss the top of their heads, one by one. Haruka and Fuyumi look up at him with their big, brown, beautiful eyes and equally beautiful smiles.

"Are you and Grandma doing better?" Fuyumi asks, looking at him with a hopeful glint in her eyes.

Suguru sighs and fixes her bangs, straightening them out before patting her cheek.

"We are doing as well as we can, given our past and our present."

Fuyumi and Haruka exchange a perplexed glance, and Suguru can't help but pinch their cheeks playfully.

"You two. Do you think I’m stupid?"

"No?" Haruka says, tilting her head, and Suguru pokes her in the rib playfully.

The twins exchange glances, though and finally, Haruka sighs.

"We just wanted to help."

The words make something ache inside his chest. Of course, they just wanted to help.

"I know," Suguru says, but neither twin looks reassured.

"Mom—"

"Nope," Suguru says, and with a soft voice and gentle hands caressing their backs, he speaks, "You never needed to do this. My relationship with Grandma isn’t your responsibility. You don’t need to fix it."

"But—"

"No," he says, his smile gentle but his voice firm. "You are children."

The twins frown at that, as though being reminded of it was vaguely insulting.

The universal expression of teenagers who believe they are far older and wiser than they actually are.

It made him want to laugh. Ah, he remembers being their age and thinking he knew everything.

"You don’t have to mediate. You don’t have to worry about whether Grandma and I get along. You don’t have to solve problems for adults." He brushes a strand of hair away from Haruka’s face.

"Your job is to enjoy your summer. Trust me, when you're older, you'll think—'Why did I spend my time solving silly grown-up problems?"

Fuyumi and Haruka aren't exactly convinced, but they look at each other and then at Suguru.

"Okay, Mom. We won't go behind your back to do something like this again," Fuyumi says, and while Suguru isn't convinced either, he decides not to push. Instead, he leans down.

"Girls, look!" he exclaims, and both Haruka and Fuyumi bend down right away, only to be splashed by Suguru.

"Mom!"

"Not fair!" Haruka screams, but with a huge smile on her face. "It's so on!" She says as she splashes at Suguru to avenge herself and her sister. Suguru laughs, and naturally, he calls for reinforcements.

"Satoshi! Satomi!"

The two oldest children look up, assess the situation, and immediately choose violence.

Of course, watching his daughters fighting three grown-ups all by themselves, Satoru joins them, leaving Natsuki with baby Ruriko, who cheers on for her Mama and Papa both from the sidelines.

It all ends in a draw anyway, with all six of them soaking wet but with big smiles on their flushed faces. Satoshi picks Natsuki and Ruriko up in his arms, soaking them as well, much to Natsuki's annoyance. They all walk back home, dripping wet.

Just when they're about to enter the house, Suguru stops Satoru and pulls him back while watching the kids go in.

"All okay?" Satoru asks.

"Hmm. I told them," Suguru says, ruffling Satoru's wet hair and scrunching his eyes when Satoru shakes water off his hair right in his face. "You're such a kid, Satoru," Suguru says, pushing him away.

"Sorry," Satoru says, not meaning it at all. "Anyway, they're all growing up way too quickly, huh?"

Suguru sighs, pulling Satoru to the bench by the window, and they both sit there to dry themselves under the sun. "They are. Satoshi and Satomi are about to turn eighteen and seventeen, respectively. Time flies, doesn't it?"

"Feels like yesterday and also, ages ago, at the same time. God, we are so old," Satoru jokes.

"Tell me about it. I love them to death, Satoru, but I'm never going on a trip with the kids all by myself again. You're coming with me," Suguru says and shifts into the space between Satoru's legs to rest the back of his head on Satoru's chest.

"These babies troubled my baby too much, hmm?" Satoru asks, massaging Suguru's temples gently while Suguru melts into his alpha's touch.

"Very much so."

"I'll book you a spa day when we're back, okay? A Suguru Day, if you will. I will take them off your chest for a day."

"Ha…you don't have to do all that, Satoru. You're busy too—"

"MOM! DAD! NATSU BIT ME AGAIN!" Fuyumi screams, and Suguru opens his eyes and looks up at Satoru.

"The offer is still up, don't worry," Satoru says.

"Thank you, I'll take it," Suguru says, and both of them laugh.

It's only been three weeks since the summer holidays began, and Suguru knows that they still have a lot to look forward to.

There's never a dull moment in the Gojo-Getou household, after all.

~~~~~