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Pik was almost twenty-two, two years older than Jai.
And Pik had been suffering relentlessly for two years.
Pik and Jai had met three years earlier, sitting next to each other in their first year of university. Pik was two years older than him, but he had taken a year off from school because of acting, and Jai had started university a year early.
From day one, Jai seemed to have made it his life’s mission to cling to Pik at every opportunity.
He called him Pookpik.
They quickly became inseparable.
Jai had never been one to pay much attention to soulmate signs.
“I can’t dedicate my life to just one person, Pookpik, just because their birthday is written on my body. Someone like me is too good to belong to only one person,” he always said.
Pik was different.
He had waited his entire life for his twentieth birthday, hoping to finally learn something about the person he would dedicate his life to. How old would they be? Would they be a girl or a boy? Would they be fun or boring? Would they find Pik boring?
But they couldn’t, could they?
They were created for Pik.
Most importantly, would they love him as much as Pik already loved them?
Pik spent every night dreaming of it. One day, he would touch his soulmate, and the black birthmarks on both of their bodies would turn red.
Soulmates, even if they had known each other for a lifetime, wouldn’t activate their marks until they were both twenty and had touched each other.
When Pik and Jai met, Pik still had a year left before receiving his mark.
Pik, who had already fallen in love with his soulmate before even meeting them, couldn’t help but slowly fall for Jai.
How could he not?
Jai hugged him every day. Jai told him he was sweeter than anyone he had ever met. Jai made him feel chosen, then laughed like it meant nothing.
But it wasn’t a problem.
He wasn’t in love yet.
He would meet his soulmate soon anyway.
At least, that was how he comforted his divided mind.
Until that night.
29.03.2005
Jai’s birthday.
On Pik’s arm.
Jai’s birthday. The one who said soulmates were unnecessary.
Jai’s birthday. The one who said he could never stay committed to one person for life.
Jai’s birthday. Pik’s best friend.
Jai’s birthday. The one who told him he loved him every day, then jumped into the arms of someone new.
Pik did the only thing he could do.
He hid it.
No matter how many times Jai asked, Pik didn’t say a word. He never took the bandage off his wrist.
But Jai still found out.
“I love you too, Pookpik. I know what I said, but if it’s you, I can leave everyone else.”
So Pik hoped.
He hoped everything would be all right.
He hoped they would be happy.
And they were.
At least for a few months.
Then one day, Jai complained that he was sick and didn’t come to practice.
Pik, being foolish, left practice, bought medicine and food for Jai, and took them to his house.
Only to find his soulmate with someone else.
What had he expected?
That Jai would change?
He cried. He didn’t leave his house for days.
Why couldn’t Jai be content? Pik would have done anything for him. Why had Jai searched for someone else? Was Pik really that insignificant?
Jai would receive his soulmark in just a few days. If only he could have endured a little longer, they could have been happy.
Jai begged him to come back. Begged him to forgive him.
And Pik agreed.
How could he not?
He went to Jai’s family house to witness the first manifestation of Jai’s mark. Jai was twenty now. One touch, and then their souls would completely merge.
Pookpik stood at the door of the house.
He knew Jai’s soulmark had formed half an hour ago.
He knew everything about Jai.
His hand lingered over the doorbell. He loved Jai, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to forgive him after what he had done.
Pik knew soulmates weren’t perfect.
But was it normal for it to hurt this much?
Jai was handsome. Jai treated him well when he wanted to. Jai could be sweet enough to make Pik forget every cruel thing he had ever done.
But was that enough?
Enough to spend his whole life with him?
Pik didn’t think he could do it.
He couldn’t love someone he couldn’t trust.
Even though Jai had apologized countless times, Pik couldn’t stop the coldness forming in his heart.
He would step inside and wish Jai happiness in life.
Yes, he would touch him.
But it could be their last touch.
Jai’s mother opened the door.
Strangely, her face lacked its usual warmth. In fact, when Pik looked closely, she seemed worried.
“Come in, Pik,” she said.
Pik took a deep breath and slowly walked toward the living room.
Inside, two figures sat tensely.
Jai.
And Duang.
Jai’s twin.
Pik stopped so suddenly that his breath caught in his throat.
Jai looked angry.
Not nervous. Not guilty. Angry.
Duang, on the other hand, looked uncomfortable, as if he wished he could disappear into the floor. But when he saw Pik, he stood up.
And smiled.
It wasn’t Jai’s smile.
That was the first thing Pik noticed.
It looked the same at first. Same mouth. Same face. Same impossible resemblance.
But Jai’s smiles always pulled people in like a game.
Duang’s smile looked like an apology.
Pik turned to Jai in confusion.
Why was he just sitting there?
Why wasn’t he standing?
Why wasn’t he reaching for Pik first?
“Jai?” Pik whispered.
Jai’s jaw tightened.
Duang took one step forward.
Pik’s eyes dropped to his wrist.
A fresh black mark curled against Duang’s skin.
17.10.2002
The room went silent.
Pik couldn’t hear anything except his own heartbeat.
No.
No, that was Pik’s birthday.
Duang extended his hand.
His fingers trembled.
Pik stared at him, unable to move.
Somewhere behind Duang, Jai stood up so fast the chair scraped harshly against the floor.
“Don’t,” Jai said.
It wasn’t a request.
It was panic.
Pik looked at him.
For the first time, Jai looked afraid.
Not afraid of losing a game.
Afraid of losing something he had always assumed would stay.
Duang didn’t look away from Pik.
“Hi, I was waiting for you.”
Pik’s hand lifted before his mind could stop it.
Their fingers touched.
Pain shot through his wrist, sharp enough to steal the breath from his lungs.
Pik gasped and clutched his arm.
The black numbers on his skin burned.
Then, slowly, violently, beautifully—
they turned red.
Not the dull, almost-red shade he had convinced himself was enough.
Not the faint warmth that had once made him cry into Jai’s shoulder.
This was red.
Alive.
Certain.
Final.
Across the room, Jai went completely still.
Pik looked down at his wrist.
29.03.2005 glowed against his skin like a wound finally opened.
Then he looked at Duang.
Duang’s mark was red too.
His eyes were full of grief and relief at the same time.
“I was waiting for you,” Duang whispered again.
Then his voice broke.
“My soulmate.”
Pik couldn’t speak.
Because somewhere in the silence between Jai’s anger and Duang’s trembling hand, the truth settled over him.
For two years, he had loved the right birthday.
He had just loved the wrong boy.