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He only realized it then. When it was all too late. When he saw Caeden saluting him jokingly with that stupid grin of his and trailing off into the mists of Deilannis one last time.
The look in his eyes - longing that made his heart ache, visible despite his smile. All the things left unsaid, ones he never ever told him. Like he knew there was no point in telling him anything. Confessing. Davian loved Asha, or at least he thought so. Caeden saw that as well. And Davian didn't want to notice all those times he looked at him a second too long, held him a little tighter than he should, cared way too much for it to be only friendship. He didn't want to ruin what was already settled - him and Asha belonged together, right? Their friendship was so dear to him. But deep inside Davian saw how Caeden was always at his side, trying to prevent his inevitable death untill the very end, even when the destiny itself was against them.
If only Davian wasn't such a coward. They wouldn't have a future. Not with him being alive. But at least he'd know. He'd know just how much Davian also cared for him and with that in mind, maybe it would ease the pain of uncertainty, at least in this one matter. He could not know how this story would end, but could be sure how Davian really felt about him. Or would it twist the knife even deeper into his guts? Knowing the feeling was reciprocated? When Wirr told him to not go after him, he should have chased him. Instead, he just stood there, frozen, out of fear and a sense of this being their final act. And just like that, the time was up before he realized it, when his friend disappeared and was never coming back. Caeden was now about to die without ever knowing that Davian loved him too.
He was never going to forgive himself for that.