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Alastor whistled as he ascended the stairs, his mood downright jolly.
He had the perfect day so far. Like always, he got up precisely on time. Dressed, brushed his teeth and tended to his hair like he usually did— each step taking the same amount of time every morning.
Having a routine grounded him. He knew what to expect; deviations from his routine meant a bad day ahead. Or heavens forbid, a bad *week*. He refused to have bad mornings. He avoided it at all costs.
After getting ready, he had breakfast. A small meal that had a nice portion of meat, eggs and his toast. He was forced to eat a single orange, as he refused to drink orange juice.
He relented, knowing the fight was not worth it.
After his breakfast, he had time for a single cup of black, bitter coffee. It was the kickstart to his morning of work. It got him in the correct mindset, made him ready for anything to come. After his coffee and newspaper, he would have his little helpers do his tie for him.
He used to be neat in that regard; tie fully straightened with not a single thing out of line, but he had to admit... his heart softened a little in the last few years.
His crooked tie is a reminder of what is to come after a long day of work.
But anyways, he was getting off-track. He would get a gentle goodbye at the door with his briefcase in hand, and then be off.
He would drive to work, deliver an impeccable broadcast, work on the next day's broadcast and then leave.
This is where his routine differs, depending on the day.
Option 1: He goes straight home.
Option 2: He does a bit of shopping. Every Friday is his weekly shopping for groceries, that way he could cook on the weekends and knew exactly what he had. No driving around unnecessarily. However, sometimes he liked to surprise the residents in his home... one particular resident was always excited to try something completely new. Anyways. Sometimes an emergency occurred.
Option 3: He gives Rosie an ol' visit. The Emporium was a lovely place. The food was delectable, the atmosphere incredible and the environment was one-of-a-kind.
If you didn't know anything about the place.
He worked for Rosie! In a sense, at least. He took care of a few unwanted... pests from time to time for her. In turn, every meal from the Emporium was free for him and his family. If he turned a blind eye at all the other behind-the-scenes degeneracy? Well, who would care?
The best of his routine, though, was coming home. Each day held the same reward.
He finally opened the door and the first thing he was hit with was the smell of home.
His home smelled of many things. The subtle floral scent of the freshly washed linen, or the sharp but underlying scent of ammonia. However, that scent was usually smothered by a few essential oils for the sensitive noses in the house.
And then there were the smells that Alastor couldn’t wait for. He had a sharp nose, always had, and right now? He could smell the pepper from where he stood, which meant that the food tonight was going to be rivalling the heat of Hell.
Just as he loved it.
“Honey, I’m home!” He called like always.
He waited a beat… and then another. His smile twitched, already feeling the clawing feeling of annoyance at the back of his head. Deviations in this routine left him… jittery. This was most definitely a deviation. Maybe he should call out again, but–
“Welcome home, dear.”
Relief flooded him, and he closed the door behind him. The feeling at the back of his head subsided.
He placed his briefcase on the ground, threw his keys in the… apple-shaped plate. That was new.
He made his way to the kitchen where his partner stood, his back to him, but it was obvious he heard Alastor by the flick in his long ears.
A soft and sour apple scent was mixed in with the scent of food– it was Lucifer’s signature smell. Everyone complimented her for it, but little did they know that it was just how she smelled.
“I noticed the new addition to our entrance. Were you in a mood again?” He teased, and then–
Lucifer turned to look at him, long neck creaking as he did. Gaping black eyes stared back at him, with gold flecks in the middle. The smaller eyes on his forehead were also open today, which probably meant that his Luci was in a good mood. Sometimes the poor thing was plagued by negative thoughts and emotions.
Her smile also reinforced his theory. Rows of razor sharp teeth on display.
“Maybe… You remember when we visited your aunt’s house? She had those plates with the fruit. And I had the idea to make a plate in the shape of a fruit! How neat is that?” He rambled excitedly, swishing tail making the dress lift at the back. His voice was almost a soft purr; deep with a hint of a rumble at the back.
“And let me guess, you chose an apple because it is your favourite?” Alastor leaned against the counter, his eyes sweeping over the ingredients and spices covering the top.
Lucifer nodded vigorously, her ears flopping back and forth. “The red makes the wood pop a bit, doesn’t it?”
“Oh, yes, my dear. It absolutely does. Say… do you think you could create another one? Maman would greatly appreciate it.” Alastor wasn’t going to ruin her parade, so he agreed. To him, it looked absolutely tacky. The only good thing was the red Luci used, but other than that…
Lucifer beamed, horns glowing a faint red as the gold of his eyes grew big. “Do you think she’d like a strawberry shaped one? I know she likes those… or how about an apple one? That way we could match? I can’t wait to get started on it… I’ll start after dinner! Oh, but I still have the–” Alastor placed a finger on Luci’s lips.
She had the tendency to ramble about everything. Which would be… fine, he supposed, if it didn’t overwhelm her completely.
Who knew a demon could get overwhelmed by thoughts?
Well, Lucifer wasn’t any little demon, now was he?
“Deep breaths, my dear. You’ll suffocate before you manage to even step a hoof outside of this kitchen.” He looked into those big eyes, one blinking after the other. A rising yellow hue sprouted over his gaunt cheeks. “Finish dinner, because it smells absolutely delightful. I’ll handle the other things tonight, hm? How does that sound?”
He cupped her cheek, which Lucifer leaned into. She slowly nodded. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a handful. I just got excited… I want to create again. I have so many ideas! I feel like Aunt Macey’s overstuffed pillow.” She muttered miserably, her ears drooping and eyes shining. Alastor couldn’t help the chuckle. She looked like a kicked puppy.
“No need to apologise, my dear! I am more than used to your little quirks.” He pressed a finger to where his nose would have been– he saw the two slits close at the touch for a moment. “And a handful? Nonsense! At least two.”
The giggle Lucifer let out was absolutely worth it. Alastor could not help the content sigh that left him.
To anyone, it would be out of character. Hell, in the beginning, he thought so too. Love never was for him– he was fully intending to die alone and happy. He thought of the emotion as a weakness back then.
Truth be told, he still does.
Just a little less.
He doubted that he would have ever experienced this with an actual person. He has waved away many advances over the years, including the returning pest that was Vox. It never interested him.
The sky was blue, there were several bodies in the bayou and Alastor was uninterested in romance. He didn’t even think about it.
But as most stories go, his life did change one fateful night.
He tried to summon a demon. He knew he was destined for the fiery pits, but he wanted to make sure that when he arrived, he would be stronger than all of the other nobodies. He wanted to rise above everyone else and show them what fear looked like.
He wanted people to know his name.
But, ah, as it turns out, life really did have a way to throw you for a loop.
He drew the summoning circle in the cabin in the woods– secluded and away from people.
His hands were dripping with fresh blood while the stench of burning wax permeated in the room. Everything was going according to plan and all he had to do for everything to come together was chant.
And chant he did.
He made sure his pronunciations were perfect, the tone neutral and the pace even. Everything was going to be perfect.
Everything was not perfect when a scrangly, long limbed, pale creature fell from the ceiling and onto the pentagram.
For a moment, they just stared at each other. Both surprised at what happened. Alastor was supposed to make contact with the other side, not bring it here.
Truth be told, the type of panic that set in after he got over his shock was… unfamiliar. He almost fainted like a damsel in distress.
As it were, he insulted it. He was very upset even if he was panicking.
Lucifer did not take kindly to his insults, but… instead of hurting him, the poor thing just got upset and stomped his feet like a child in the beginning stages of a tantrum. Alastor was confused, but counted his lucky stars that the creature wasn’t as hostile as it looked.
Alastor tried to leave the entire night behind him. He sneaked away soon after– despite the potential power he had at his finger tips, Lucifer did tell him in the middle of a monologue that he couldn’t control her. Despite summoning her, she really was just on Earth now. Until she found a way back, she was stuck.
Alastor really did try to sneak away, but Lucifer’s anger dissipated too quickly. The next morning, he had the most unfortunate case of karma biting him square on the ass. Lucifer followed him home.
He supposed he deserved it. He did steal the demon away from home and then proceeded to abandon him for the night. Doesn’t mean he had to like it though. In fact, he hated the whole situation and Lucifer with it.
Firstly, the prep took months. He had to make sure everything was absolutely perfect. He spent countless sleepless nights doing research, finding obscure books that cost an arm and a leg under the guise of “being interested in writing a novel”. He had to time his kills perfectly, he had to find the right people to kill, etc. The list goes on.
Secondly, he spent hours on making sure all the ritual’s directions were perfectly followed in that cabin. Everything was arranged in a specific way and not a single sigil was crooked.
And lastly, for all his efforts, he didn’t get what he wanted and he was stuck with a twiggy, ashy and stupid demon. Not even a powerful one… or so he thought, at first.
Lucifer was an enigma at first. After she told him that she was moving in – yes, told – she got comfortable very quickly. She was curious about humans and earth as a whole. She didn’t have a lot of interactions with the humans in Hell, so she used him as a… sort of tour guide.
Again, he probably deserved it. Did not mean he had to like it, however.
He did make Alastor very curious though. He wondered what Hell was like, because Lucifer was even fascinated by simple things such as safe to eat foods or animals that didn’t have it out for you. As he understood it, everything was dangerous down there. Including the most innocent of things.
He remembered Lucifer almost crying because she didn’t get hurt while peeling an orange. Or – this one had Alastor a little emotional, even if he would never admit it out loud – when the storms hit one evening and Lucifer could touch the rain without burning.
That moment probably started the whole mess with his feelings. Because he remembered Lucifer grabbing him when he went outside for a brief moment, trying to pull him in quick enough so the rain wouldn’t touch his skin. But it was too late, and Lucifer looked distraught. He thought Alastor was going to die.
Until he explained to her that there was nothing wrong with the rain. Seeing her tentatively touch the rain, pulling back in fear, and then blinking out of order when she didn’t get hurt… it made Alastor realise a few things.
Lucifer tried to save Alastor because he thought that he was going to die.
She tried to save him, despite Alastor taking her away from her home.
Despite Alastor constantly being unkind to him, Lucifer still had enough care inside of him to save him. A demon cared this much about a human who trapped him.
It made Alastor reevaluate a lot of things.
For one, he didn’t think of Lucifer as a total hindrance after that. In fact, he started formulating a plan to get her outside. So that she could experience all that humanity had to offer.
Unfortunately, there were a few… struggles, at first.
He didn’t want people to ask questions or bring attention to them.
He was a black man. Lucifer was a white demon-man(?)-thing.
The police were very much still looking for the Bayou Butcher, and that very much was who he was. The police couldn’t put their noses close to him, otherwise they might sniff out exactly what they shouldn’t. He made sure that he worked neatly and efficiently, but one could never be too cautious.
But to get back to his point. He was a known bachelor. He helped out in his community, he was a popular radio host, and he was very much not liked by the police already. When he, a black man, suddenly showed up with a white man(?) people were going to ask all kinds of questions. And bring attention to him and Lucifer.
It meant that he had to get creative.
There was an Orthodox Jewish community not too far from where he lived, and he took inspiration.
A mask to cover his face (his own idea), a head scarf to cover his blonde hair partially. Because of where the scarf was tied, he could play the blonde hair off as a wig.
Secondly, long sleeves to cover most of his arms. His arms were black to his elbows, but they were pitch black. So gloves and long sleeves it was. Along with that, he had him cover his neck as well. Neck coverings were essential to hide his pale and long neck.
After that… a dress. A dress that spanned below her knees, while she wore stockings underneath.
It took him weeks to find heels that would fit his hooves and not look weird.
But after that? Everything was complete, and she could venture outside!
Imagine his surprise though, when the day came, and Alastor saw that where his once flat chest was, was a decidedly… not so flat chest.
Lucifer didn’t understand the big deal. Alastor was sorely reminded that Lucifer was not of this world, but he recovered quickly. Lucifer was a demon, after all.
The first venture was a success, even if people asked a dozen questions. They accepted that “Luci” was a highly modest individual. Alastor had to explain a million times that “Luci” was simply a friend, but after a while it took too much effort. Whatever made the story stick the best.
Somewhere along the line, however, Lucifer was somehow exposed to a few housewives out on a trip. Alastor admits that he turned his back for a second to speak with an… associate, but it really was only a second.
After that, his life really changed. At first, he didn’t know if it was for better or for worse.
Lucifer made it his mission to… eugh, be a good “housewife”. He, for lack of a better word, fucked everything up at first.
She couldn’t cook.
He couldn’t iron.
She couldn’t even properly clean! She almost gassed them once.
Alastor didn’t understand why Lucifer did such a big 180, because before everything was fine… Lucifer was a bit messy, but Alastor dealt with it quickly. He wasn’t unclean though, just… chaos. Chaos was the best way to describe it.
Frankly, it made Alastor uncomfortable as well. You see… despite popular belief, Alastor didn’t believe that women were made for the kitchen. Or for the house, for that matter. His mother used to be a housewife, and he remembered how her hands cracked and tears sprung to her eyes when her nails repeatedly split.
Every day, she got up before anyone. She would cook breakfast for everyone, wash the dishes. Do the laundry, scrub the floors, iron the clothes, make lunch for anyone who has home, wash the dishes, prepare dinner, set the table, dish out the food, barely eat, do the dishes, clean the kitchen, quickly shower… all for an ungrateful fuck who didn’t care.
Suffice to say, Alastor hated it.
He cleaned, he cooked, he did the laundry, he ironed his own clothes– all like a big boy. He wasn’t a lazy piece of shit.
When Lucifer started with this whole… “housewife” business, he almost couldn’t believe it. He had no idea where it came from and, frankly, Lucifer sucked at being one regardless.
He had to sit Lucifer down and tell him to stop.
And that is when they had their first heart to heart. It was sickening.
Lucifer broke down, telling Alastor she felt useless. She couldn’t work, she didn’t know human customs and could barely hold a conversation without looking like a complete fool, she didn’t understand the politics and couldn’t even pretend to. The point was that she didn’t know how to be human.
And worst of all, while Alastor worked, he had nothing to do. He couldn’t really go outside because of all the aforementioned points. And then when Alastor returned home, he still had nothing to do because he had to wait for him to complete all of his daily tasks.
Alastor was stunned and for a brief moment, tried to convince her to do her crafty stuff that she liked, but she shot it down instantly. Telling him that she had no inspiration and it was worse because she would feel even more like a burden. Because it meant that Alastor would have more work to do to clean up after her, and she would be doing the equivalent of “kiddie stuff” while he was out doing useful things. Like keeping a house over their heads.
Alastor had to take a moment, because he never thought of it that way.
It took him a while to be on board with the idea, because even if it was mostly for Lucifer’s sake, he didn’t feel all that comfortable with it.
But Lucifer seemed determined, so he relented. He showed Lucifer what to do and how to do it.
Lucifer was a quick learner, however. And the day after he showed her what to do… everything was in order. He came home and everything was done– just not dinner, because obviously she was still learning human cuisine.
For once, he felt an inkling of guilt. It caught him off guard and he despised it, but he couldn’t help but feel it. It felt… nice to not have to come home, alone, to a house filled with tasks to be done.
The feeling was terrible. And it was worsened by the fact that Lucifer was happy about it.
A horrible realisation built in Alastor. In the weeks of Lucifer being there, and since the night with the rain, he developed… feelings.
He felt like he was taking advantage of Lucifer, and that is what caused a lot of unhappiness for the situation.
Which led to Alastor snapping at Lucifer a week after the start of his… official “job”, Lucifer getting sad but also angry, and then to another heart to heart.
Turns out, Lucifer’s feelings started long before Alastor’s ever did.
It was why she insisted on this whole ordeal. To make Alastor’s life easier, of course, but also to get him to focus on her. To show that she wasn’t useless and to show she could be a good partner. To show that despite her ignorance of his world, she was willing to learn and fit herself inside of it. In any way she could.
Alastor tried to reason with him, at first, trying to explain that it was not needed. Because it was wholly unfair– he couldn’t experience Lucifer’s world in a way that mattered.
But then, Lucifer seemed frustrated. So wholly frustrated that the eyes on her head closed and her horns shrunk to nubs on her head. She asked him, “Why can't you understand that I’m happy like this?”
And for once, Alastor shut up.
And the rest was history.
In the span of a few months, he gained a companion, a friend and partner all in one. And a housewife, he supposed. House spouse would be more accurate for Luci, but he insisted on housewife. No idea why, because Lucifer was the type to like the whole rhymescheme thing going on.
(Alastor secretly thought that Lucifer did actually love it, but was being difficult to prove a point).
And as time went on, Lucifer popped out their little girl, Charlotte…
People found out that Lucifer was not so black when Charlie came out the way she did. Demon genes were apparently very strong. Who would have thought.
It was no big deal in the end, because their community was accepting… to a point. He had to make sure that the police kept their noses elsewhere, so he distracted them to no end.
In doing so, he found his adopted daughter. Niffty, a cute little menace.
Really, everything worked out perfectly. He had a family.
And most importantly, his mother loved all of them, too. She loved Lucifer to no end, and so did the rest of the family on his mother’s side.
A happy ending for all.
–
After dinner, Lucifer looked ready to bolt. She was practically vibrating while standing over the sink.
Alastor couldn’t help the amused chuckle as he stood next to him. “Go, my dear. I’ll take care of the rest.” Lucifer looked at him with those big, darkened eyes of his. And then he seemed to calm down a bit, his hands stilling in the warm water.
“No. I’d rather be here, first.” Her tail snaked around Alastor’s leg.
Alastor rolled his eyes. “Go, before I carry you to your art room.” Lucifer pouted for a moment.
“I was trying to be romantic! You ruined the moment.”
Alastor gave him an unimpressed stare, but then he leaned down to peck his head. “Better?” A sarcastic tone, but it seemed to brighten Lucifer nonetheless.
“See you later, alligator!” Lucifer practically sprinted away from Alastor, who shook his head with his permanent smile still plastered on his face.
But then he had a realisation–
Lucifer discovered the small section in the newspaper with the expressions. He had to suppress a groan. Lucifer was going to be insufferable for weeks.