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“Where’s Caine?”
That was the million-dollar question for the day. He’d completely missed the adventure, wasn’t answering his door, and leaving no one to have seen him since the night before.
Even though he hadn’t answered multiple times previously, Pomni was almost certain he was cooped up in his room. She couldn’t explain why, but she just had a nagging feeling he was on the other side of that door, and she was far more concerned he was on the verge of another crash out; that was simply something none of them could handle again, Caine included.
“Hey, Caine? You in there?” Pomni asked as she lightly rapped on the door.
There was no answer, just as there’d been no answer, yet this time, she decided to actually try the doorknob. It was unexpectedly unlocked, and she took a deep breath, let it out, and said, “I’m coming in, okay?”
What she found was not at all what she’d expected. The room was dimly lit, and Caine was lying in the middle of the floor gazing up at the mock night sky and stars of the ceiling. His tongue was hanging out the side of his jaw, and he was giggling to himself every now and then.
“Caine?” Pomni asked calmly as she approached slowly. “You okay?”
He turned to stare at her, and his pupils dilated excitedly. “Pomni! Join me, won’t you?” His speech was sluggish and slurred, and she spotted the bottle of stupid sauce next to him when he patted the floor beside himself.
Pomni smiled awkwardly before obliging and asked, “So….whatchya doin’?” This should be interesting…. she thought to herself.
“You know….I’ve been thinkin’ a lot….”
“Yeah? What about?”
“You.”
“Me?” she replied, surprised.
“Yeah….Did you….It hurt, you know?”
“What hurt?” She felt as if she was talking to a child and prying out the answer.
“When you said I don’t care about you at all. I care! I care a lot!”
She definitely hadn’t expected that to be his answer. Her harsh words when she’d unloaded on him had plagued her, and here they were to confront her for good.
She sighed sadly. “I know. And….I-I’m really sorry for what I said. I was angry and I went a little overboard. I’m sorry.”
“Do….do you hate me?”
“No! Of course not.”
“….s’hard, Pomni….I thought I was okay….but….”
“But?”
“….the thought still scares me. Being killed again….Alone again….Abandoned again.”
Oh….that’s….oh no, she thought remorsefully.
Killed.
Alone.
Abandoned.
The words hit her like a slap in the face. Since his return, she’d never paid any mind to what things had to have been like for him in The Void. Now, she was being forced to acknowledge it. She knew of the empty vastness that was enough to have blown her mind the first time experiencing it; she couldn’t imagine what it must’ve been like to have endured the infinite chasm of nothingness like he’d had for weeks.
“You don’t have to worry about that, Caine,” she assured tenderly and gave a friendly smile when he turned to look at her. “You’re one of us now. And we’re all in this together. We all made mistakes, but that’s behind us. What matters is enjoying our time now and making the best of working together.”
Caine blushed and hastily glanced away. Given how relaxed his speech had been, Pomni was surprised he could move as quickly as he did.
With a small giggle, she lightly pushed against his shoulder and said playfully, “Seriously, Caine. You’re one of us. We’re a family. We’re not going to abandon you. You don’t have to worry about that stuff anymore.”
“Do you really mean that?”
“Of course!”
“….That’s beautiful,” he whispered and wiped a tear from his eye.
“So no more stupid sauce for awhile?”
Caine nodded. “Alright.”
“Feeling better?”
He nodded again. “I probably shouldn’t say this, but….” he began quietly, and Pomni was taken aback by how sober he suddenly sounded. “You know….I care about you….”
She noticed his hands beginning to nervously fiddle with themselves.
“….I really care about you….You’ve been a real treasure here in the circus, Pomni.”
Pomni’s mouth fell open in shock from what she assumed was a deep confession. The way Caine kept his eyes fixated on the ceiling, his fidgeting fingers, and the tone of his voice gave away the words he wasn’t saying.
Deciding to show her appreciation and fondness in return, she scooted closer and placed a gentle kiss onto the side of his bottom jaw. He instantly gasped and at last turned to face her again, his pupils wide in surprise. She smiled and said sweetly, “I really care about you too….Do you….do you think you’ll remember this when you’re….not….well….?” She didn’t want to outright say “stupid anymore;” it sounded too abrasive.
Caine smiled contentedly. “I will.”
Pomni sighed relieved. “Good.”
A comfortable silence settled between them, during which Caine inched his hand closer to hers, and they held one another’s while gazing at the ceiling, both smiling happily.
“Hey, Caine?” Pomni asked after several minutes.
“Yeah, Pomni?”
“It really is good to have you back and here….like this….”
Caine’s smile broadened. “I’m glad you took me back and are here with me, too.”