Chapter Text
Derek lays in his bed, staring at his door. He's unable to stop thinking about, well, everything. Knowing all there is to know about the universe really has its downsides, doesn't it? In either case, the more he lays there, the more his head hurts. He eventually decides that he needs to leave his and Avery's shared house before Avery finds him like this, on the verge of a panic attack. He swings his legs over the edge of the bed and stands up, grabbing his pickaxe on his way out of the room. He stalks through the house carefully, not knowing where exactly Avery was, but knowing he didn't want Avery to see him in this state. After peering around many corners, he deems the coast clear and he walks out the front door. And then he keeps walking, not having a set direction in mind, yet having to calm his thoughts.
As he walks, he passes through a field of Avery's favorite flowers and feels himself start to hesitate, crouching down and touching a bud. The bud was having trouble blooming, but he knows how to get it to open up. He sits and fools with the bud for a while, peeling off what seemed to be keeping it closed. He then jerks the bud around until the petals unfurl into the most beautiful flower in the field. He looks at the flower, pondering. Eventually, he decides to pick it and drop it back at the house for Avery.
His legs feel heavy and weighed down as he trudges back, flower in hand. It's not because of his armor, he knows, but because of something else. He keeps his eyes on the flower as his eyes well without him noticing. The pain in his head keeps growing with each day. He can't burden Avery with it, Avery worries about him enough as is. He can't know all the secrets of the universe along with it. His tears fall upon the flower as he numbly reaches for the door, growing unable to keep it in. When he looks inside, he sees Avery at the table, waiting for him.
"Hey Derek! I was wondering where you... Why are you crying?" Shit. Shit shit shit he wasn't supposed to see him like this. He wipes his face and smiles instead.
"Just sweat. You wouldn't believe how hot it is outside in a full suit of armor." Derek fakes. Avery decides to go along with it and shrugs.
"Alright then, just stay inside or put some ice in your armor maybe?" He suggests as a joke. Derek brushes his concern off.
"No, I've dealt with it for this long, it doesn't matter that much anymore." His eyes drop to the flower again, as he holds it out for Avery. "I, uh, saw this while I was out and knew you'd like it." Derek says. Avery gasps and gushes about it for a few minutes before going back into the kitchen and preparing a vase for it. Derek follows, wincing at the pain in his head and forcing more tears not to fall. As Avery puts water in, Derek blankly rambles off some common household ingredients for plant food so that Avery can make the flower last longer. As he talks, he sort of spaces out, his mind occupied by other topics. He's so occupied by these that he doesn't register the tears running down his face and his breathing bordering on hyperventilating.
Avery, however, does. He immediately drops the vase, the glass shattering on the floor as he rushed to his side. He can clean it later. Derek just keeps rambling on, not really registering Avery until he screams his name. That seems to have snapped him out of it, as well as increasing the pain in his head. He looks at Avery's face... Oh, he looks so scared. He didn't want this. He feels his lower lip tremble as he stares at Avery's terrified face. He caused this. He just starts crying harder.
Avery throws his arms around Derek, bringing the two of them to the floor covered in broken glass. Derek buries his helmet into Avery's shoulder, his shoulders trembling. He tried to get words out about a different subject than plant food, but he just can't. He can hear The King's voice inside his head; taunting him, bereding him. He can't take it. His cool and collected facade shatters as The King's voice keeps talking at him. He wails, embarrassing, but he can't bring himself to care. He starts clawing at his helmet, trying to get it off as if that would stop the voices. Avery takes notice and gently lifts the helmet off Derek's head, revealing his face for the first time since they met. Although, before Avery can process the new face in front of him, Derek plunges his head into the junction between Avery's shoulder and neck, smearing snot all over his Hawaiian shirt. He just wants to be close to Avery. He can't hold himself together. Avery tangles his fingers between the strands of his hair and clutches him close.
Derek still rambles on, but now between sobs. He talks about how sugar is important to keeping the flowers fed, its sweetness allowing the flowers to stay open and vibrant for longer. After that, his words become intelligible. He scratches at his head desperately wanting everything to stop, but Avery takes his hands before he could harm himself.
"Hey, Derek, we don't do that okay?" Avery says, his voice shaking a bit from fear. Sure, he's seen Derek like this on occasion, but he never tells what's wrong. Maybe Avery should ask about it. Not now of course. For now Avery needs to comfort him the best he can. He needs him to calm down. Avery holds Derek closer to his body, cradling him carefully. He lets him sit in his lap, when Derek snaps his legs around Avery, clinging onto him for dear life as his sobs grow worse. "Woah! Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." He reassures. "You can talk to me." Even so, Derek doesn't say a word about how he feels. Avery simply sighs. He hasn't opened up to Avery about this at all, and he can tell that he tries to put up a facade of being normal around him. But the way that he couldn't stop talking about some recipe for plant food revealed more than he might think.
Derek wraps his arms around Avery tightly, the armor plates digging into his skin. His fingers grip tightly to Avery's shirt, creasing the fabric so hard that he would have to iron the shirt to get the wrinkles that formed out. He can feel how tense Derek is from that action alone. He slowly starts to shift back and forth, almost rocking his body in a desperate attempt to calm Derek down.
They sit in silence only broken by Derek's loud crying. After a while, his wails start to die down, and his shoulders slump and his grip on Avery's shirt relax. All that comes from him now are quiet sniffles interrupted by the sound of armor shifting as he tries to get closer. It's... almost a comfortable silence. At least, Derek feels that way. He sighs as he feels the tears drying up on his face, leaving trails of salt crystals down his face, and the voice in his head dulling to a whisper. He wonders why Avery is so comforting and was about to ask before his mind answered it for him. He used to care for his little siblings who would often have little bouts of crying for no particular reason. Derek thinks that's cute.
"I... I'm sorry..." Derek whispers, his voice hoarse from his sobs.
"For what?"
"For... for making you break the vase... for making you deal with me..."
"No, no it wasn't a bother. I just want you to feel better!
"Hm..." Derek hums. After a while, Avery can feel Derek start to slump against him more, letting out a few more hums in the process. Avery can't help but laugh. After all, Derek's reminding him how his little siblings used to act when they got too spun up. He rubs his thumb against the back of his neck, trying to keep him semi-lucid for the time being.
"Derek?"
"Hm..?"
"Do you want your helmet back on?"
"Mhm..." With that, Avery picks up the helmet, drying off the inside with his sleeve, and carefully sliding it onto Derek's head. It's a bit crooked, and his hair isn't pulled up into it anymore, but it's on. "I'm tired..."
"I know. Let's get you to your room." Avery picks him up. Derek's hands start to grow slack against his back, yet they still hold on. He buries his helmet into Avery's shoulder as he starts to effectively drift off to sleep, too exhausted from his breakdown. He hums contentedly, having Avery close. He carries Derek up the stair and into his room, gently laying him on the bed. His long hair is strewn on top of the blankets, a little tangled but otherwise straight. He's too exhausted to realize Avery's slipping out of his arms and replacing himself with a pillow. He just squeezes the pillow as Avery leaves, snuggling into what his drained body thinks is Avery.
Avery, before leaving, gives Derek a kiss on the top of his helmet. As he exits, he leaves the door open a crack, allowing some light from the rest of the house to creep in. After all;
He knows how scared Derek is of the dark.