Chapter Text
June 4th, 20XX
It was late in the evening. I stared out the window, watching the scenery go by. Here I was, on a bus that had only a few passengers left. It had been a bit of a lonely trip, as I didn’t want to talk with anyone, and most of the other passengers either had someone to talk to or quickly gave up once it was clear I wasn’t interested in conversation.
I did this every year, on that day for a number of years I had lost track over since it started. It was a tradition at this point. A grim one, that I had never missed, and could never miss, ever since that day.
Normally I’d be driving myself, but I just couldn't this time, so I just settled with paying a bus fare and taking longer than normal to reach my destination, at least I would make it there in time, even if a bit later than I would have liked…
My memories began to drift back to it, when everything changed…
Once, I was Haruto Tokima, a trainer of umamusume at the prestigious Tracen Academy. I had only had a single trainee during my short time there, but while it lasted, it was the best time of my life. One uma who while had doubts about herself, I believed in and wanted to help her fulfill her dream… One who I grew close with over our time together, who was like family to me… The memories I had with her flashed through my mind, and I couldn’t help but make a small smile, for the good times we once had…
Her name was Rice Shower, and she wanted to be a hero…
Then, it was again June 4th, 1995… The day I could never forget…
It was the day of the Takarazuka Kinen, a race me and Rice had trained and prepared for some time. It was her first time running this race, but there wasn’t much to worry about seeing as she had run plenty of other races like and harder than this one.
…That was, I thought there wasn’t much to worry about. I watched, cheering her on, waiting to see her cross the line…
But she never made it. Towards the end of the race, it happened. Someone fell. Someone didn’t get up.
I couldn’t believe what I was watching. It couldn’t be happening, but it was.
“Rice Shower has collapsed on the track!” One of the commentators called, as my vision began to blur. Nobody moved. Nobody said anything. That was, except for one person…
“RICE SHOWER!!!”
I leaped out of my seat, rushing down the stands and hopping over the fence as fast as I could. Several people tried to stop me, but I couldn't let them. I pushed them aside, and ran to her. I was the first one there by her side, and gently held her in my arms.
Rice opened her eyes. “Big… Brother?” She weakly said with a groan. Her face was pale, and she looked weak…
“Rice… Rice! Please hang in there! Y-You can't! I-I can't lose you!” I beg her as tears stream down my eyes.
“Did… Rice… Do well? Was I… A hero?” She asked me, which I responded with more than just a nod.
“Y-You were amazing… You made a lot of people smile… You made me smile… You weren't just any hero… You were my hero…” I responded to her, which brought out a weak smile from Rice.
“Then… B-Big brother… Rice is… Sorry…” Her eyes closed, as I felt her body go limp…
It felt like time had stopped. Seconds became an eternity. My whole world went dark, as all I could see was her, laying in my arms…
Gone… She was gone.
I heard other voices around me, but I couldn't make them out, as I let out a scream of anguish…
On that day, I was no longer Haruto Tokima, trainer of Rice Shower.
It was nobody's fault. It turned out Rice had injured one of her legs sometime before the race, one that hadn't been detected while training or during examinations, and one that if Rice knew about beforehand, she didn’t tell anyone. The strain of an actual race left it on the edge, then all it took was a single wrong step and a tumble, a tragic accident, one nobody could have seen coming…
…Officially, that was. I wasn't to blame. Nobody was. If I knew about her condition beforehand, I wouldn't have let her run…
But I still blamed myself. I should have been at fault. I should have been punished. That way I could at least live knowing for certain that people hated me for what happened, and I wouldn't get away with a crime I felt I had to be the culprit of.
It ate away at me. A war began inside my mind. I saw everyone differently from then on. On the outside and to others, trainers and umas seemed supportive and sympathetic for me. But to me, it all seemed like a facade, that they all hated me for what happened, even if it wasn't true… How could I be convinced nobody hated me when I hated myself? It was a battle that sent me further and further into a bad space…
And I couldn't stay there anymore. I had to leave. I quietly resigned from Tracen Academy. Nobody blamed me with what I was going through, but the director said that if I ever wanted to be a trainer again they'd happily accept my return with open arms.
But it never happened. I never went back, only telling as few people as I could. I got as far from Tracen as I could without leaving the country, moving to another part of Japan in a remote town where nobody knew me. I'd rarely leave the area, except for one day, every year.
And now, I was just Haruto Tokima, a broken man who'd been awoken from his dream by a nightmare.
“Excuse me… Where are you going? You've been on this bus for a long time.” A voice from another passenger interrupted my thoughts. I took a moment to think of what to say.
“I'm going to see an old friend…” I responded. It was true, I just couldn't say the entire story. I didn’t tell anyone back home, I was still afraid that I'd be hated if anyone knew who I was and what I was doing.
“Well… I hope you both have a good time, I know what it's like. I have many friends I haven't seen in a long time that I wish I could.” The passenger said, though I just nodded without a further response. They obviously didn’t know what my trip was for, but I could still appreciate the thought.
I'd wait patiently, silently there, as people left. Some more got on, but only very briefly. This continued, until eventually, I was the last one. I didn't talk to the driver, and the driver didn't talk to me. That was, until the bus stopped, and the door opened.
“We're here. Please take your time getting off, and make sure to not leave any of your valuables behind.” The driver stated, as I grabbed my bag and climbed off the bus, looking back as it departed. Unfortunately I wouldn't be able to stay for as long as I wanted, unless I wanted to risk sleeping too late and missing the return trip…
It wasn't far from my destination. I walked for some time, a walk I made many times before, that felt longer each time…
Eventually, I reached it. A graveyard, while large, was currently devoid of any visitors. This was why I was fine with this taking until late in the day, so I wouldn't have to interact with anyone here. I walked through it, looking around to find what I came here for.
After a few minutes, I found it. I walked to a tombstone, a certain one with a familiar figure carved into it. My eyes glanced down at the words etched into the stone… Nature had slowly begun its assault to have them fade from history, but even if they weren't there, I could never forget them…
Here lies Rice Shower, the Sable Assassin
A hero until the very end.
“Good evening, Rice. I hope you didn’t think I wouldn’t make it again this year…” I said as I sat down on the grass in front of her grave. I noticed there had been a few flowers placed here already, which wasn’t too surprising considering it was the anniversary of her passing. Visitors were why I always made sure to come later, as I couldn’t bear the thought of being seen here by someone else, like a person returning to the scene of a crime…
Though I obviously couldn’t go without ever being seen. Some people had caught me even while I was sure nobody was around. One year I even ran into Mihono Bourbon, who had been close to Rice, and she was the one I found out from that I had developed somewhat of a legend due to my anonymity. Apparently there were several theories on the internet about who the mystery mourner of Rice Shower that only showed up once a year was, and Bourbon was even one of the suggested individuals. Of course I was also one of the people theorized, but I had never been photographed or filmed while here so there was no definitive proof. What I also eventually learned was that I wasn’t the first instance of someone doing something like this, as there was someone who did something similar for some author from America.
…Which is when I scowled, at the memories of seeing several articles and posts of people claiming to be the one doing it. Rarely did anyone talk about how the copycats who’d claim to be me despite having no proof, who were people that clearly did not actually know Rice Shower and people who didn’t understand why I did this. This always upset me dearly, knowing some people were trying to use Rice Shower's death for attention for all these years…
After taking a moment to calm down, I reached into my bag, pulling out a few things. First, were a couple of rice balls that I had made, a recipe passed down in my family that Rice had always loved, and was her favorite. I sat one on the ground in front of the grave, while I held the other in my hand. Usually I’d eat it as if we were enjoying it together, but today I just didn’t have it left in me to eat. It was fine anyways, I felt like I had lost the touch that made them so good in the first place. While others still enjoyed them, to me they had a taste I just couldn’t stand anymore…
“I still hope wherever you are, you’re in a place where you can be happy, and run like you used to… You deserve it.” A tear dropped down onto my clothes.
“I feel like I always say this every year, but I think you’d be impressed by the new runners for the classics this year. Some of them really seem to have the potential you did…” While I just can’t go back to being a trainer after all this time, I still couldn’t just completely leave it all behind, having decided after a few years to get caught back up with how the Twinkle Series had been going. I did end up occasionally going to many small regional races over the years, but I just couldn’t take the risk of being recognized at a graded race.
Next on the list, was a small set of colored pencils with paper that I set beside the rice balls. She loved to use these, and would buy them all the time. Normally I’d draw something to leave for her, while I was never good at it, she always loved to see me make something, but this time I no longer had the energy to draw…
“Sorry for being so lazy this year, if you were still here I know you’d be doing anything to help me find the motivation I need…” I spluttered out a weak cough. “Maybe I‘m just getting too old to go out like this anymore…” I wasn’t sure exactly what was wrong, whether it was age or just a bad day for me, but this had been becoming more and more common, especially over the last few months… I had always been worried about what I'd do once I could no longer come to see Rice Shower, and maybe that time was much sooner than I hoped…
I sighed. At that moment, I made a choice. There was something I kept to myself all of these years, that I felt I had to let out now. I had a feeling Rice maybe knew about it, but if she did, she never told me. Something that I once had hidden to even myself, and it was only after she died that I fully understood what it was…
"I never told you this before, whether in life or death, but... Deep down, I was jealous. Of you and the ones like you that got to fulfill the dream they wanted. You died doing what you loved, while I'll die longing for a dream I can never fulfill, the desire to have run like you… With you... Not that I'm upset at you. You never made me angry, I never could have been mad at you. It's this cruel world that did this, that took you away before your time and never let me have the time I wanted..." I looked back up at the sky as the sun was slowly beginning to set.
"And a final detail I can't forget." I placed a blue rose upon her grave. Just like the ones she used to wear. "If only you got to bloom for just a little longer… If only I could see your face just one more time, and tell you how sorry I am…"
"Well... I suppose I will try to meet you again next year, Rice, if I-" I was interrupted by another cough. Then another. And another, followed by who knew how many more, each becoming increasingly more violent and painful. I could feel a great pain throughout my body. I reached for my phone, attempting to dial help, but my coughing fit caused me to drop it.
It got worse, and worse. Eventually red began to stain my hands. I could feel my heart's beat slowly fading... I tried to call out for anyone, but nobody was there... I fell over on my back, too weak to keep myself up. All I could manage was to turn myself over, slowly, and see her grave... Maybe the last thing I'd ever look at...
"Rice..." I weakly said between coughs as it began to die down, my body unable to make them for much longer... As my vision began to darken, and the war was lost... "If... You're there... Please... Forgive... Me..." My eyes closed, as I slipped from consciousness…
The rose sat there as the sun fell behind the mountains and hills. A final symbol of a legacy of tragedy... Nobody was there to help. Nobody was there to see the final act to a story of sadness…
But something strange happened. I thought everything went black, yet I could still see the rose, and it seemed something was growing from the ground right in front of me…
A white tulip, sprouting next to the rose, by its side at the very end.
I gasped as my eyes opened, and I saw... White... Where… Was I?. It seemed I was inside somewhere, but the last thing I remembered was being outside, when I-
-Was dying. But this was strange… Somehow, I felt… Better? Like I was no longer dying, but instead it was replaced with an odd, unfamiliar feeling all over my body…
“Oh thank goodness you're awake!” A voice interrupted my thoughts, as my eyes darted over to see a nurse standing in front of me. Something about her uniform seemed all too familiar, but I couldn’t put my finger on it…
“W-Where… Am I?” I asked her, as she gave me a slight smile. That’s when I noticed something about my voice sounded strange, but I hadn’t collected myself enough to understand what.
“You’re in one of our emergency wards. You got brought in all of a sudden and seemed like you were in bad shape at first, so we brought you here, and didn’t want to move and disturb you…” She explained to me, as my eyes glanced around to get a better look at my new surroundings.
I had been to hospitals many times in my life, especially in my later years… That’s how I noticed something about this one… It seemed… Antiquated. Like a relic of the past, somehow surviving into the future… Strangely, even the technology around the room seemed much older than the ones I had recently been in. One thing standing out to me was the television in the room was an old crt model, one that I couldn’t believe was still being used…
“How are you feeling?” She asked me, coming over to check the machines I was hooked up to.
“I… Feel better… But strange…?” I respond with uncertainty. “How… Did I get here?”
The nurse sighed. “We’re… Honestly not that too sure. You were found on a hill by the academy grounds, by one of our students here.” It was an explanation that made my ears perk up, but… I didn’t feel them from where they should have been.
“An… Academy? I… Didn’t see any near me, and why did you bring me here instead of a hospital?” I questioned, this was getting stranger by the moment.
“Well… We had to get you somewhere quickly, and we have the facilities needed for someone like you, so we just had to make due with what we could… Don’t worry, you shouldn’t have to stay for too long, just some time to make sure everything is fine. That weird feeling is probably just temporary from the medicine we had to give you.” She said with another reassuring smile.
But it didn’t assure me. What was she talking about? Someone… Like me? But any hospital had whatever people needed for emergencies, the only exceptions were for…
Umamusume. But why would a human be brought there? None of this still explained the strange feelings I had, or how my voice sounded so strange…
“Is something else the matter?” The nurse asked me, her face shifting to concern. That’s when I finally noticed. She wasn’t human, she was an umamusume! My eyes began to widen.
“C-Can you tell me where exactly I am, and who exactly found me!?” I start to panic, my thoughts racing through my mind.
“P-Please calm down, I’ll explain everything. You’re at-” The nurse was interrupted by the opening of the door. I heard a small eep from across the room.
“S-Sorry if I’m interrupting something! I can come back later!” A voice rang out. A voice that was familiar… Too familiar… One that I had longed to hear, but that was impossible. So why could I hear her now?
“Ah, no, no you’re not! You can come on in if you want to.” The nurse said, having turned to the voice, then back to me. “This is the one who found you.” She told me, as I waited nervously and after a moment, saw a sight that turned me pale...
Standing there, was an umamusume. In a familiar purple and white uniform, but that wasn't what shocked me...
It was her long, dark brown hair, with the one eye I could see that was purple, and her hair and a blue hat with a rose of a similar color covering the other one. It couldn't be... I couldn't believe it, but looking at her face, one I had longed to see again…
I knew it was her... She couldn't be anyone else. How she was here, I didn't know, but I could feel my eyes begin to tear up. A frown crossed her face as she saw this.
"Umm... D-Did Ri-" She was about to speak, but I interrupted her without thinking about it.
"R...Rice Shower...?""