Chapter Text
“Punzle! Oh Punzle, you’re okay, you’re okay!” Gangle cried out, Punzle running from Puck’s side to embrace her mother and then Zooble.
Caine had teleported them into the circus, and it was disorienting. Puck kept his Papa’s shirt, wearing it with a pair of comfortable pants. He saw his mama first, covering her mouth and barely holding back tears. He looked around for Papa Jax…
His attention was drawn toward a new feature just behind the lounge area.
Puck didn't hesitate when he saw the large tent.
In his gut, he knew. He saw Pomni sitting next to it on a pillow pile and knew.
He didn't dare look inside yet.
He glanced at Punzle, hugging Auntie Gangle. Zooble glanced at him and froze, a brief flicker of dread shrinking their pupils.
Puck looked away, finally running over and hugging his mama.
Pomni gripped him tight like a lifeline, a soft rumble rippling from the darkness alerting him to what he hoped to avoid still.
Jax had noticed him.
“Puck…” Pomni finally said, voice muffled in the shirt his papa gave him so long ago.
“I'm here, mama.” Puck said softly, rubbing his chin over her hat which brought out a sob.
“I'm so sorry Puck, Jax…”
Puck looked up then, feeling abstracted eyes watching him. They stared blankly, trying to gauge what the reaction would be.
Puck tried to smile, but it wrinkled into more of a grimace as he tried not to break down himself.
“Hi Papa Jax.”
The pupils of the eyes shrunk, the black form crouching as if to hide. What eyes fixed on him were grief stricken and apologetic, as if knowing it was Puck’s nightmare made reality.
Pomni squeezed his middle and Puck crumpled, burying his face in Pomni’s neck and letting himself grieve.
Punzle pulled away from Gangle to look inside the tent as well, causing Jax to scuttle deeper into the tent with a pained sounding grumble.
“No… No, Uncle Jax…”
“H-He won't hurt you.” Pomni sniffed, wiping her eyes even as she comforted Puck, “Either of you. It's more comfortable for him in the tent during the day, that's all.”
Puck pulled away and, ignoring Pomni’s call, slipped into the tent to see for himself.
His papa’s scent was there, but it was tinted with an almost burnt metal smell that overwhelmed Puck’s senses. Puck didn't care, finding comfort in it being recognizable at all.
His father was cowering as far from the opening as he could be. Puck didn't move too much closer, but he ached to have his papa look at him again.
Before he could open his mouth, the eyes snapped in unison toward Puck.
“I wish I could hug you again.”
It was all Puck could say, gripping his own arms as if restraining himself from doing just that.
Another rumble from the abstraction, and then a limb reached out and tossed a pillow at his head.
Puck’s laugh came out as a sob, but he still picked it up and hugged the pillow tight, furiously chinning the fabric like it could substitute the warmth of fur he remembered.
He just held it, waiting for the warmth to seep into the pillow before he pulled it away and tossed it back.
Black limbs enveloped the pillow, and a huffing sound like a sob came from the abstraction as the pillow disappeared between two limbs. Jax's form spiked rapidly for a moment, then smoothed, a quiet low rumble of contentment being the only sound between soft huffs.
Puck hugged his legs, ears drooping as he realized how much his papa felt the same.
“I love you, Papa.”
A couple eyes flicked his way but the shape didn't react until Puck heard Pomni and Punzle approach, both rabbit and abstracted, lifting their heads to see them.
Punzle’s eyes were wide, tears appearing as drops and then stripes of blue down her mask. The abstraction lowered its head, but watched.
Puck held out his hand, and Punzle jumped into his arms to sob, ribbons winding right around him.
“H-He just looks different, Punz.” Puck said, rubbing her back even as he felt tears himself, “Mama keeps him comfortable here. He's…he isn't gone yet.”
Pomni wiped her face, heart aching that Puck was being strong for Punzle’s sake. She noticed the pillow Jax held, but didn't bring attention to it.
She knew there was more she needed to tell Puck, but for now she'd hope Jax would explain herself.
It wasn’t Pomni’s story to tell.
Caine allowed Puck to use Jax’s old room to sleep, and both he and Pomni spent time with the memories and cried. His memory of this room was sparse, but Pomni pointed out where he chewed the desk legs and where Jax hid the nesting materials.
Puck immediately made a nest, feeling his mama’s tearful gaze as he built pillows up and blankets like he’d seen Jax do.
Trying to sleep was hard, and while he considered his mama’s offer to stay with her if he had trouble, Puck wanted to sleep here one night.
His old nest. His old home.
Puck did drift off eventually, surprised when he ended up finding himself back in the snowy landscape. Ahead was the cabin, and a familiar frog waiting on the porch.
Next to her…
“PAPA!”
Purple ears flung up, one eye unabstracted with a wide pupil showing shock. Then tears, and a wide grin.
“Puck, son…”
Puck’s head shook and he hopped once; running and jumping into Jax's arms with no attention paid to the frog, who just watched with a gentle smile.
Jax buried his face into Puck’s shoulder, eyes squeezed closed. “You’re safe. You…I'm so sorry you had to see me…”
“Papa…”
Puck pulled away after chinning Jax another couple times, tail wagging behind him.
“Your eye…it's normal.” Puck pointed to the eye, watching the pupil shrink as Jax touched his cheek. It grew to normal, Jax chuckling.
“Guess I'm still here, mostly.”
“Hey kid.”
Puck turned to the voice, seeing the frog smiling up at him.
“You sure shot up like a tree since we last talked.”
“Heh.” Puck shrugged, only vaguely remembering the dream he'd had the first time.
“Ribbit, you mind if I talk alone with Puck a minute?”
Ribbit nodded, patting Puck’s shoulder. “Keep your mom safe for us, hey? She's gone through some sh–”
“Ribbit.”
“Going, going!” Ribbit laughed, waving once more before turning into the cabin.
Puck took the seat she vacated, Jax taking his and reaching to hold Puck’s hand. They didn’t speak right away, Jax occasionally reaching out to touch Puck’s cheek or pet back his ears as if not believing he was really there. Puck had too much he wanted to say, to ask.
“I need…to tell you something,” Jax took a deep breath, closing his eyes, “but tell no one else but your mama that I told you. Okay?”
“Okay, Papa.”
Jax’s smile came out wobbly at that, and she forced herself to look at Puck. “Just…when it's us… call me Mama, or Mom. Okay, Puck?”
Puck’s breath hitched, brain stalling a moment as the realization hit slowly. He nodded, then added softly. “Is that what made you abstract?”
Jax shook her head. “It’s more complicated than that, kiddo. I… I think if I knew you would come back, I would've tried holding on, but we knew–”
Jax bowed her head, squeezing Puck’s hand with both his own.
Puck’s heart ached, not just for what his Momma was hiding but the depth of shame she still obviously held of her old life. He didn’t hesitate, hugging Jax tightly.
“It’s okay Momma.” A sob escaped Jax, “I'm not mad at you, I still love you Momma.”
Jax clung to Puck, tearfully chinning and marking her scent where she could, and hand resting on the back of Puck’s head. Puck rubbed her back, letting himself cry quietly as Jax released the grief and frustration of being only able to hold her son in dreams.
“I didn't want to accept it, I was supposed to be your dad. I didn't want you having to grow without one, even if you were just an NPC you always were my son. I don’t think it would have changed anything anyway, there's… there was too much I hated about myself. I wanted you to stay the one good thing I did, Puck.”
Puck pulled back to wipe Jax’s eyes, nuzzling her cheeks.
“I didn't need a papa. I just needed you, Momma Jax.” Puck whispered, letting Jax pull him into another tight hug.
He knew better than to ask, the way he heard Jax talk about herself spoke volumes. Puck couldn't help her heal, but he hoped one day she'd be comfortable enough with others knowing that he could tease Punzle that he got two Mamas now.
Kaufmo was the one to come out with two hot chocolates, beaming when he recognized Puck. “Look who it is, Little Jax! Heh, not so little anymore. Heard a lot about you since Jax got here, still a washed out hellscape out there?”
Puck’s ear twitched in confusion, turning to look at Jax. “It looked…fine, with some patches. Was it really, Momma?”
Jax flushed this time, hiding behind a sip of his hot chocolate. “For a while.”
“Ohh, so you told him, huh? Oh, guess I should ask your name, I can't remember if you–”
“I told you his name is Puck, you oaf,” Jax grumbled, but there was no malice behind it, “You just prefer that dumb nickname so much you keep forgetting.”
“Right, sorry Puck. Heh, the nickname doesn't work the same anyway, not when you're almost as tall as Jax now.”
Puck looked at his hot chocolate, taking a sip. It didn’t taste like much, but it was sweet and rich which made it passable.
“You don't care that I'm an NPC? or AI?”
Jax froze at that, lowering her cup. “AI is new…”
Puck shifted, taking another sip of the drink. “Caine picked me to be like a secondary AI, to help with keeping humans happy. I guess it helps being raised by humans that I can explain more complicated things to him? Even if everyone's getting along with him better now.”
Jax frowned, looking away. “...I didn't want that life for you, Puck.”
“I get to see Mama…and you.” Puck’s ears fell back a little, “Mama makes sure Caine treats me more like a human, because I'm not that good with the AI stuff yet.”
“So… no more adventures then, huh?” Kaufmo mused, a wry smile on his face, “Good riddance”
“Just when we want to do things that would take long to add to the world, like Auntie Ragatha’s softball games, or hikes!”
Jax’s frown eased into a careful smile, sighing softly. “I would've hated that. Probably best I'm not involved.”
“Mama took me to play paintball today… she cried because I shoot a lot like you do, but we do fun stuff like that too.”
Jax flinched at how casually Puck glossed over Pomni crying about her, setting aside the rest of her hot chocolate. “Puck, can you do me a favor when your Mama gets like that again?”
Puck nodded, also setting his mug aside.
“Tell her I don't want her to mourn me like I'm dead. I… I was more myself with her and raising you than I ever could have been. If you remind her of me, that's just me living on through you. And that's the most I can give her. You don't…have to tell her all that. Just let her know I don't want her crying for me so much, okay?”
“I will, Momma, and I'll try reminding her of happier things too. I don’t want her to be sad when you're still so close.”
Jax’s smile was small but sincere, hand cupping Puck’s cheek. “That's my son. I know you will… I have things to tell Punzle, but I think I'll wait for her to come to me. Just remember I love you Puck. I love your Mama. Take care of each other.”
Puck barely had time to ask what Jax meant before his eyes opened, tears streaming down his cheeks.
He curled into the nest and sobbed in relief; both in that he still saw his Momma in his dreams and the trust she had in asking him to change how Puck called her.
He had Mama, and now he had Momma.
A knock broke the quiet in the room, Puck only just calming his tears.
“Puck? I heard crying, did you have a nightmare?”
Auntie Ragatha.
Puck sniffled, wiping his eyes. “Kinda…is Mama still awake?”
“I’ll go get her for you, just unlock the door for her okay?”
Puck got up to unlock the door, turning to the photos still strung up. He felt an ache in his chest at the last images left facing outward: Momma with his friends, Mama and Momma both holding guns, himself as a baby clearly toddling toward his Momma as she took his picture, and a selfie Punzle did with Momma awkwardly smiling at the camera.
Punzle had asked Jax to help her practice for beauty school, and at the time Puck thought she was embarrassed.
But he saw the truth in Jax’s eyes; she looked proud in the selfie. Punzle had done a good job.
Puck jumped when the door opened, and Pomni ducked back behind the door. “Oh, sorry, I knocked before. I thought you were…”
She shook her head, closing the door behind her. “Are you okay? Ragatha said you had a nightmare…”
“N…Not a nightmare, Mama.” Puck started tearing up again, but he was smiling.
“Momma says she loves you. And doesn’t want you to cry so much over her.”
Pomni froze, eyes wide for almost a full minute before she realized what Puck meant. Her eyes glistened with tears, futilely trying to rub them clear before tears fell.
“Oh Puck…”
Puck knelt on the floor to hug her tightly. He didn’t know what else to say, nuzzling and chinning her like he’d always do with his momma. Puck pulled away and gently wiped his Mama’s face, looking at her closely now.
Pomni’s eyes were bagged with exhaustion, and gleaming with tears yet to come. But more than that, she didn’t smile as wide anymore.
He picked Pomni up with little warning, climbing into the nest and curling around her like he knew Momma would.
“She also said to take care of each other. You haven’t slept well, have you Mama?”
Pomni sighed softly, reaching a hand to cup Puck’s cheek. “I was trying to, really. Jax… she really told you?”
Puck nodded, nuzzling against Pomni’s hand. “I wanna brag to Punzle that I have two Mamas now, but Momma wants to tell Punzle herself.”
Pomni giggled at that, kissing between Puck’s ears. “You’re definitely Jax’s son.”
Puck grinned, happy to make his mama laugh.
It felt easier for them both to sleep after that, curled together in the nest Puck made on his momma’s bed.